Retirement Speech by causeiambetta
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Thirty five people attended the retirement announcement of Maito Gai. Some were civilians, most were ninja. A practical who's who of the Hidden Village of the Leaf was at attendance. Both Sixth and Seventh Hokages were there. One was grumbling through the latest Icha Icha knockoff porn. 'They just don't make literature like they used to,' he could be heard muttering. His successor was loudly joking with the ninjas sitting behind him. Nara Shikamaru took the brunt of the abuse from his superior in stride. Despite the accompanying laughter from his wife Temari of the Sand and their twin children, he was calm. The tall pineapple haired shadow had learned how to convincingly sleep with his eyes open and religiously practiced the skill.
To the Seventh's other side, a chair was conspicuously left empty. Genjutsu Master Maito Kurenai, sat proudly at the end of the middle row. Still beautiful in her advanced years, she was complimented on her youthful vigor quite often. As in constantly, every morning, night and even more during weekends. Nearly always during the most awkward of times as well. Not that she minded her vanity being stoked but every one had limits. Kurenai had learned how to sleep with eyes wide open, too. But she took things one step further and thanked Kami-sama for the blessing of acute hearing loss. To the left and right side of the Hokages were the entourages of Neji Hyuuga and Rock Lee. Neji and his wife Hinata Hyuuga stoically sat down. Their regal presence further enhanced by servants, hanger ons and administration staff that followed the Hyuuga Clan Head every where. Behind them quietly sat the product of the arranged marriage, Hyuuga Gai. Hinata noticed her husband looked particularly...soft? This could only mean one thing...Oh no. She was going to have to sit through yet another impassioned lecture on fate, long hair, creating one's own path, birds, cages and Youth, late tonight when everyone was asleep. Hyuuga Hinata cursed the perceptive powers of the Byuukagen.
Rock Lee, the Blue Beast of Konoha, was being comforted by Haruno Sakura. Double rivers of tears poured uncontrollably from the most feared taijutsu fighter in the Elemental Lands. No matter what the Sannin Haruno tried, nothing worked. The usually insane upbeat man in blue spandex, would not stop. They were surrounded with Lee's top students from his dojo too. As if on command, they were crying as well. Sakura's apprentice Tohru sat aghast at the scene, afraid the salty water would flood the floor. If any of Lee's students got too Youthful with her, the brunette was dead set on smashing their faces in and sending them to the hospital. Tohru blocked out the fact that this was how her Master developed a relationship with Rock Lee in the first place. Surprising no one, this remained their marriage's primary method of conflict resolution. Rock Lee often went to the hospital.
Every other member of the legendary Konoha Twelve was there. The heads of Akamichi, Yamanka, Aburame and Inuzaka clans took back seats to every one on this occasion though. Several other Chuunin and Jounin ninja that came to being after The Twelve were at attendance. Nearly everyone there at one point or another had learned taijutsu from Maito Gai or had been directly benefited on a personal level from the man. More than a few owed their lives to Gai and wouldn't miss his retirement party for the world.
Everyone excitedly waited for Maito Gai to be wheeled in by TenTen, hear the usual canned speech and then leave for a roaring Youthful party afterwards.
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A/N: My first try at humor. Part 2 of 2 will be serious and crazy. Sorry for the shortness, I just wanted something to set up the scene for the real speech will be long. This was also something i wanted to do as a stab at getting rid of my writer's block, so its a bit more random than what I usually write. Expect part 2 to be out by tonight