Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl – obviously

This is set maybe just before 5X24 it popped into my head in the middle of the night and I immediately had to write it, this is my first fan fiction, ever, so go easy on me CHAIR for ENDGAME. Reviews are absolutely welcome - ha this is rather exciting. p.s. this is meant to be a one-shot but if you want me to continue let me know and will think about it.

She picked up the phone… she couldn't help it; she missed him. Quickly closing her eyes she held her breath as she pressed number 1 on the keypad, wondering once again why she hadn't changed her speed dial over the last 3 months.

Her stomach was in knots, worried that he wouldn't pick up, worried that she had hurt him too much to even get a hello. After what felt like hours she heard the distinct click that told her someone had picked up the phone.

"Blair…" she froze, her breath hitched and she wondered how, after so long he still had this indescribable pull over her, a pull that was so strong that the mere sound of his voice made her heart race and her pulse spike.

"…" she didn't know what to say, she had called him on a whim hoping – more like praying – that it would go to voicemail, all though terrified at the thought of that happening.

"Blair, are you there?" he sounded weird, as if he was chocking on his words she knew she had to speak, after all she was the one who had called him for g-d sake!

"I don't know why I called, I just…. I don't know it's been a while time and well I miss you. I know I shouldn't, and I know I can't but I can't help it, you were this huge part of my life, you were, well you were my everything and now I feel lost. I feel empty. Chuck tell me what to do. Please, I don't know what to do anymore!"

"Why?"

"Why what?" she began shaking, nervous and not expecting that reply, she knew that he had every right to be annoyed with her, but she didn't expect such a crude simple reply.

"Why do you miss me?"

"I just explained why, I miss you because you were such an integral part of my life!"

"Is that the only reason?"

Blair deflated, she hadn't expected this, funny how she thought she knew him so well and yet sometimes he did things or said things that completely took her by surprise.

"No… I mean yes!"

"Blair…"

She had almost forgotten how he could put so much meaning in one word, sometime there could be anger, or pain and other times lust, desire and love.

This time there seemed to be confusion, tiredness and a flicker of hope.

"I miss the way you look at me when I wake up in the morning, I miss the sound your voice telling me you love me, I miss the feel of your body next to mine as we lie in your bed after we have made love, I miss making love to you! I miss your butterfly kisses on my neck, I miss your dark eyes that tell me every time I look into them how much you adore me, I miss being adored so completely that it consumes me! And most of all I just miss us, I miss being with you, seeing you and I don't want to miss it anymore I want it all back…"

After a shaky breath she carried on, she couldn't stop the words pouring from her mouth and for the first time in a long time she didn't want to hold back anymore

"But Chuck I am scared, so scared, but I don't want to be anymore, I'm tired of running, I have tried killing it, distracting myself from it and convincing myself that I am over it, but I cant and I wont anymore, I love you Chuck Bass, I am in love with you; and this time I am all in"

She stopped talking and all though she hadn't heard his reply she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, for the first time in months she felt like she could finally breathe.

"…"

"Chuck please, please say something"

"I don't know what to say Blair, you've hurt me, and they say it's a broken heart but I hurt all over"

Blair was stunned she knew she had hurt Chuck, but she didn't realise how badly, she remembered saying the same thing to Serena last year, she never wanted him to hurt as much as she had – all though she would never have told him that at the time - and now she didn't know how to make him feel better, how to make him feel more secure, but she knew that she had to try.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry for all the hurt I have caused you, after everything with Louis and now Dan, but I can't take it back but I swear to you if I could I would. I regret everything that has happened this year, I regret every moment that we have spent apart."

Blair sat down on her bed, she had never felt so exposed, never so vulnerable she had declared her love to a man who had previously broken her heart countless times, yet he was also a man who had made her irreversibly happy, a man who had loved her for her worse, darkest and most evil parts. She prayed that, that love was still there.

"I miss you to Blair…"

"… and I love you. Always have, always will"

Her heart skipped a beat.