AN: So, I came up with this story one day when I was feeling down. I thought what if Bella moved on and Edward came back? what if she really did give Jake a chance? Were they still meant to be together? Suddenly this story popped into my head. When you read this, please know that I am not bashing either character, and I try to keep them as in character as I can. This is a BJ and BE story with massive amounts of angst. Thank you for listening to my insane babbling and please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I obviously do not own any of the characters (except Celeste! Yay I own something!) So if you wanna steal them don't come knocking on my door. Bug Stephanie Meyer.
Bella PV
"You don't have to go to work today Bella. Your seven months pregnant, no one expects you to be there." A rough, sleepy, voice grumbled from the bedroom.
"I promised dad that I would temp in public records today Jake, I can't back out." I called as I started to head towards the door.
Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me back against a very warm large body.
"You're not going to leave without kissing me goodbye are you?" Jake said, gently turning me to face him.
"Wouldn't dream of it." I said playfully, earning me a small chuckle and a world-shattering kiss from Jake. The world could have stopped and I would not have cared. I was quickly brought back to reality by a forceful kick from inside me.
"Looks like someone doesn't want to be forgotten!" I said, laughing and placing a hand on my swollen stomach.
"Good, that means our baby is a fighter, I wouldn't have it any other way." Jake said, placing his hand over mine. "So are you ever going to get over your stupid fears of commitment and let me raise my kid right?"
"Nope. We will get married eventually, just not in the near future. It's still sort of worse than boiling live puppies for me." I said frowning. Marriage was not something I was too happy about, even if I was pregnant. Jake shrugged and shook his head.
"You'll come around eventually, and don't talk about boiling p-u-p-p-i-e-s around the b-a-b-y." he whispered, caressing my stomach. "It might get scared."
I chuckled and rolled my eyes as I broke away from him and walked towards the door. "Your being r-e-t-a-r-d-e-d! Don't forget," I said as I walked out the door. "We have a sonogram at two today. Pick me up around one thirty, that way we can go together. Love you."
"Love you more." He replied. And I knew that he meant it.
Jake and I had been together for almost two and a half years. I was a broken and hollow shell and Jake picked up the pieces. He was the light at the end of a dark cold tunnel, but even he could not keep the nightmares away.
I had another dream. It started out like all the others, me racing to find Edward through the dark damp forest. This time was different though. This time I was pregnant, and Jake was in my way. He refused to let me go. Then he went after Edward himself. In the end, I ended up chasing after them both. When I finally found them, they were both dead. Edward was burning in a pile of wood, and Jake was lying on the ground with his throat torn out. His body was scored with vampire bites.
I didn't tell Jake about my dream. I was too afraid that he would be upset. I should have known that after a dream like that, my day was about to get a hell of a lot worse.
…..
"I can take care of it dad, GO! Harry has been dying to go fishing for days. It is not as if some mass murderer is going to go on a killing spree in the next three hours. Go on! I'll be back after my sonogram." I said, urging Charlie out of the police station.
"Thanks Bells, you're the best. Let me know what you've got in there so I can start buying ya stuff." Charlie grumbled. Showing his affection for me in the only way he knew how. I smiled as I waddled into the station and over to the podium.
When I had first told Charlie about my pregnancy, he had gone ballistic. He started muttering things about shotguns and weddings, but after he talked to Jake and Billy, a miracle happened. He accepted it, gave me a job as a secretary at the police station, and was strangely enthusiastic about the birth of his grandchild. He was hoping for a boy, and Jake wanted a girl. Every Sunday when we went over to his house, the two would battle back and forth while they watched football.
I went to the file cabinets to search for some traffic tickets Charlie had asked for, and then all hell broke loose.
"Excuse me, but could you tell be where Chief-" A voice said. A voice I would recognize anywhere. A voice that I was once willing to walk across fire for. A voice I never thought I would hear again. Edward Cullen had walked back into my life
"Bella?" He exclaimed, staring at me as if he had seen a ghost, and he was not even able to see my stomach from where I was standing.
"Get out Now!" I grumbled, not wanting to talk to him. Even though my heart sped, and even though a small part of me wanted to hug him. A larger part would not let me, it reminded me of the gaping hole he left.
"Bella I-"
"Don't Edward! Just stop. Don't tell me your sorry, don't tell me you want to be friends, just don't say anything. You left, you didn't want me. End of story. Now get out!" I said turning my back to him.
"Bella I'm sorry" he half shouted
"What?" I said turning around. I narrowed my eyes and glared at him. He had totally ignored me, like I knew he would and he apologized. I knew I had to let him get it out of his system.
"I lied. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and probably the worst mistake of my existence. I did it because I wanted to keep you safe. My world isn't safe for you, but I desperately want you in it." He said rapidly.
"Edward If you loved me, why didn't you ever come back?" I challenged. Edward flinched at the venom in my voice, but answered anyway.
"Bella I thought you were dead! Alice saw your future disappear about two and a half years ago. I nearly went mad. I basically went into a vampire depression. I came here to see where you were buried and say goodbye. I came to the station to find Charlie and instead I find you! Oh Bella! Give me a second chance. I love you. I always have and always will." He said pleadingly and he opened his arms to me.
Tears streamed down my face, a side effect of the hormones. I was furious. I wanted to scream, hit him, and throw something all at the same time. I chuckled almost hysterically, completely unable to check my emotions. Edward moved to come to me, but I stopped him with my hand.
"It's a little late now Edward." I said stepping out from behind the podium, giving him a full view of my pregnant stomach. He went rigid and we stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. I could see the emotions playing in his eyes. They burned intensely as the switched from anger, to confusion, and finally hurt. I stood with my fists clenched, resisting the urge to make him thaw out. Finally he found his voice and managed to choke out
"Who?"
"Hey bells! Ready to go to the…." Jake said bounding into the room, his sentence dying at the sight of Edward. Carefully, he stepped in between the two of us.
"What are you doing here?" he asked nastily.
"He was just leaving Jake. Just like we have to do if we want to make it to our appointment on time." I said quickly, pulling him towards the door. Even if I hated Edward, I couldn't stand the thought of him getting hurt.
"Goodbye Bella." Edward muttered brokenly as we walked out the door.
"Goodbye Edward." I said quietly, but I knew he heard. Somewhere deep within me, small parts of me screamed that I should go back, hug Edward, and never let him go. That part was crushed by my overwhelming love for Jake.
We walked out to the car silently, though I could see that Jake was holding back. He helped me into the rabbit and started the short drive to the hospital, his tension increasing with every mile we drove.
"Do you wanna tell me what happened?" he asked softly. Though I could clearly see the worry and protectiveness in his eyes.
"The Cullens are back. Edward thought I was dead and he came to talk to Charlie and find my grave. When he found out I wasn't dead, he apologized for leaving me, explained why he did it, and asked me to come back to him. Of course, I told him about us and showed him our little lump here."
I said absentmindedly caressing my stomach. Jake just nodded and drove on, giving me time to stare out the window and try to process what had just happened in the station.
"Alright Bella, are you going to tell me what that is going on in that beautiful head of yours or am I going to have to suffer in silence?" he asked finally breaking my thoughts.
"Do you want the truth or a comforting lie" I asked warily.
"Always the truth." Jake said hoarsely, never letting go of his death-grip on the steering wheel.
"Honestly, I'm pissed, confused, hurt, and I'm not sure what to think right now. Part of me wants to scream and throw something at him and hit him for being such an asshole, and part of me wants to run into his arms and forgive him. I mean he just waltzes out of my life, doesn't even check to see if I was really dead, and then when he comes back he just expects me to have waited for him for 3 years?" I said. Jake went to say something but I interrupted before he could. "I want to yell at him for just showing up in my life after all this time. But another part of me just wants to forgive him, no questions asked." I said, putting it all on the table and not sparing Jake's feelings in the least.
"So are you going to forgive him?" Jake asked. I sighed heavily, knowing that I had to choose my next words carefully. Even after two years of being together, Jake still couldn't believe that I would choose him over Edward.
"Jake," I said, scooting closer to him as he drove and wiggling myself under his free arm. "I am pregnant with your child. I chose you years ago. Him jumping back into my life and telling me that he loves me doesn't change that. I may not be sure about a lot of things right now, but there is one thing that I am absolutely sure about and that is you. I want you, for as long as you'll have me. I am with you. Okay?" I asked, leaning my head on his shoulder.
He softened slowly and wrapped the his arm tighter around me, pulling me into his chest.
"I'm sorry Bells; I just get so frustrated sometimes. I love you so much and I can't imagine life without you." He said resting his head on my chin and kissing it softly
We sat comfortably in silence for a few moments ,each of us taking in all the new information and what it meant for our future.
"So, What do you want to name the baby if it is a girl?" I asked him, trying to lighten the intense mood that had enveloped the car.
"How about Bella jr?" he asked, looking down to wink at me. I shook my head and hit him on the chest, probably bruising my hand in the process.
"Well, I guess that's out. How about…..Lauren?" he asked while kissing the hand I had smacked him with.
"No! Jake be serious!" I said quickly. Jake knew that highschool had been a bit rough due to Lauren and Jessica's constant verbal abuse. He nodded and stared out at the road, running his fingers through my hair as he thought about it.
"Well…..How about Celeste? It means Heavenly. And when she is born, I think she will be our whole universe." He asked with a wide smile and bright eyes.
"Celeste Black. I like it." I said leaning up and kissing him on the cheek.
We arrived at the hospital with just a few minutes to spare and followed a very peppy rainbow clad nurse into one of the many patient rooms in the hospital. After I waddled over to a table and had Jake help me up on it, another nurse came in with a very large manila file (my records) and a sonogram machine. She smiled and made small talk while she took my vitals and checked to make sure everything looked good on my paper work.
"Alright! Looks like you are all set. I'll just go get Dr. Morrisen and we can begin!" She said brightly as she walked out of the room.
"I hate hospitals." I said with a frown. "Jake what if something is wrong with the baby?" I said starting to worry over all the things that could possibly go wrong.
"Bella, Breath. Nothing is going to be wrong with our baby. Calm down. Everything will work out, you'll see." He said reassuringly.
"Excuse me, we have a slight problem. Our sonogram technician left for vacation yesterday. However, you are in luck. We do have a doctor on hand that is familiar with the equipment and can do it. That is if you want to, or you can wait until our technician comes back in 2 weeks." She said timidly, the bright and cheery demeanor gone as quickly as it had come
"That's fine with me, as long as Bella feels comfortable with that," Jake said, looking to me for the okay.
"Bring the doctor in please." I said. After the nurse left, I turned to Jake. "I would rather find out if anything is wrong now, rather than wait until later."
We waited there in the room for about five minutes before we heard the soft tones of a nurse and the footsteps outside the room.
Three things happened at once. The door clicked open, Jake tensed up beside me, and another Cullen walked into my life.
"Carlisle!" I said, happy to see the man who had been like a father to me.
"Hello Bella! It's great to see you again." He said with easy charm and honesty. I looked at his face and saw the lack of surprise at my pregnancy and the fact that I was still alive. That meant that either Alice or Edward had told him about me.
Jake was still tensed beside me, shaking and glaring at Carlisle. I looked at him and rubbed his arm soothingly. "Jake it's alright, Carlisle won't hurt me." I said trying to thaw him out.
Carlisle didn't seem to take offense to Jakes cold behavior and he started to ask me questions about my pregnancy. Slowly, by degree's, Jake started to thaw and even volunteer information. I smiled to myself at his change in behavior. Carlisle was easy to like.
"Well Bella, your vitals look good, and from what you've told me, it seems like you're doing all the right things. Do you have any questions before I start the sonogram?"
"I have one." Jake said quietly, shocking both of us. "Is there anything that we shouldn't
Do….physically that would hurt the baby." He asked and I thought that he turned as red as I did at the blunt question. Carlisle, thank goodness, answered automatically, without a pause. "No, you will not hurt the baby. But in the last few weeks it has been known to induce labor, so I would advise against excessive….physical activity." He finished while writing the rest of my information on my chart. After the question, an awkward silence hung in the air around us for a minute or so.
"So, can we start the sonogram?" I said blushing crimson. Sex was something I never wanted to talk to with Carlisle. I could only imagine how much more awkward it was for him.
"Right. Now my hands may be a little cold Bella." He said, causing the three of us to laugh.
He spread the jelly onto my stomach, put the scanner on it, and then we all watched in wonder as my baby came into view on the screen.
"There is the heartbeat, and it looks pretty strong." He said pointing to a white spot should be before adjusting the scanner to look at another portion of the screen. "And there is where something should be if this were a boy. Congratulations, you are having a healthy baby girl." He said beaming proudly.
Jake gently wiped some of the tears from my face and kissed my forehead. I looked up at him and smiled when I saw that his eyes weren't dry either.
"I love you bella" He said softly staring at the screen.
"I love you too jake." I said reverently touching the screen and my stomach.
"If you would like, I can have this made into a video." Carlisle said smiling at the pair of us as he put up the machine. I nodded and sat up slowly, content with the knowledge that my baby was fine.
"Jacob, If you don't mind, I would like to speak to Bella privately about some personal things she can do to help out with the pregnancy." Carlisle asked.
I Looked at Jake, who looked like he had no intention at all of leaving me alone in the room with Carlisle. Any friendliness that had been in his face before was gone. I sighed and rubbed his arm with my free hand.
"That is a good idea. Jake you could go get me something from the cafeteria. I am starving." I asked pleadingly. He looked warily from me, to Carlisle, and then back before nodding and walking out of the room in a huff.
"What did you really want to talk to me about Carlisle?" I said. Charlisle was good at many things, but lying was not one of them.
"Bella, I wanted you to know that I am sorry. So sorry. We never wanted to leave that way, but Edward gave us little choice in the matter. You were a very big part of our family and without you we have all lost a little of what made us a family in the first place. Even Rosalie has admitted to missing you a great deal, if that puts it in perspective. I can see that you have moved on and I am very happy for you. I think that I speak for everyone in the house when I say that we still consider you part of the family, and that you are welcome in our home anytime." He said seriously.
"Carlisle, I love all of you…..well almost all of you." I amended sheepishly "I would love to visit you again sometime soon, if you'll have me. ….And I know this is a lot to ask, but It would make me very happy if you would be my doctor until the baby comes. I'll feel a lot safer knowing that I'm in your hands." I said, making a peace offering.
"I'd be honored to Bella. I know that Esme and Alice are dying to see you again, now that they have heard that you're alive. Why don't you stop by the house on Sunday? I'm sure Esme would love to cook for you again." He said brightly.
I bit my lip while I contemplated going over to the Cullen's house again. I desperately missed my adopted family but I was not ready to face Edward again. Sensing my hesitation, and the reason behind it Carlisle elaborated more. "Edward is not staying with us at the moment Bella. You do not have to speak with him if you do not wish to."
"Sure Carlisle, I'd like to come over very much." I finally said, my hormones overpowering my hesitation.
Just after that, Jacob came in with a bag of food large enough to feed at least 10 people, and I hobbled off the table to stand next to him. Just before we left I turned to Carlisle and said "Thank you, for everything." And we walked out of the room.
Once we got out of the hospital and were safely in the car, Jacob turned the ignition on and asked in a dead voice.
"So what did doctor fang have to say?"
"He told me some additional things I could do that would help make the pregnancy easier and he recommened some vitamins" I said quickly.
"Bella, you are still the worst liar I have ever met. And besides, I know you better than that. At what point in time were you planning on telling me about your invite to the Cullen's place?" He asked harshly.
"Jake I-Wait you heard that?" I asked shocked.
"Superhero hearing remember? But that's beside the point. Were you or were you not going to tell me?" he asked impatiently.
"Yes! I was going to talk to you about it later!" I said stunned by his mood swing. Ten minutes before this, we were looking contently at our baby.
"And are you planning on going?" he said through clenched teeth.
"Of Course! They are like family to me Jake!" I said getting really irritated.
"Like Hell you are Bella! There is no way that I am going to let you and my child go into a house full of vampires! And they are not your family bella! They left you, and never once checked to see if you were okay. You don't owe them anything." He shouted turning to look at me.
"Jake they need me, just as much as you or Charlie or Billy need me. They mourned me Jake! They thought I was dead! I can't just ignore them now." I retorted, angry tears springing to my eyes.
"Are you that suicidal Bella? You know I understand that you have no sense of self preservation, but how could you do this to the baby? Are you that willing to risk our child? Does she mean that little to you? VAMPIRES ARE DANGEROUS! What if you get a paper cut again? I'll be damned if I am going to let anything happen to you two because of one of those filthy blood suckers" He shouted, completely not looking at the road.
"So am I allowed to go to the barbeque at La Push this weekend?" I baited, knowing what he was going to say.
"Of course!" He said, his face puzzled at my sudden change of subject.
"What about Leah, Seth ,Paul , Jared, and Sam ? Aren't they Dangerous too. What if Jared pisses off Paul again and he shifts too close to me? What if I accidentally set off one of the newer wolves who can't control themselves Jake? Isn't that dangerous?" I yelled, my hormones pushing my rage to dangerous levels.
"Bella that is not the same thing! A werewolf would never" he said but I interrupted before he could finish the sentence.
"NEVER WHAT JAKE? Never hurt someone? I think that Emily proves otherwise." I said bitterly.
"It doesn't matter, you are not going. If I have to I will lock you up in a house and babysit you twenty four hours a day" He said staring seriously into my eyes. Subconsciously I could feel the car accelerating under my seat.
"You would really do that to me?" I said, seriously hurt that he didn't trust my judgment.
"To keep you and our child safe, absolutely." He said
"You can't do this to me!" I said flatly.
"The hell I can't Bella. What are you going to do, sit on me? On a good day your no match for me. But pregnant? There's no way that you could sneak out." He growled.
"You know what Jacob black, sometimes you really make me hate you." I said, tears blurring my vision.
"You don't mean that." He said, but I could hear the pain in his voice.
"I do. Right now I hate you." I said flatly.
Jake started shaking, but not with rage. Tears sprung into his eyes and he leaned over to touch me, but I jerked away from him as if he had hit me.
"Bella, I-" He started but he never got to finished his sentence. Just then We ripped off the road and down into the forest at breakneck speed. Jake quickly served to avoid the trees and let off the brakes. In the end it didn't do much good. All I could see was a swirl of green and brown hurling all around me, and the my world shattered with a resounding thud. I saw Jake fly through the windshield and land, face first in the creek before a sharp pain ripped through my body. The forest started to blur, and the last thing I saw before it all went back was Jake's too still body, lying in the creek…
I couldn't have been out for long, before I heard someone calling my name. It was an angel's voice, an angel that had forsaken me long ago. His voice was not furious this time, but frantic. I once again was called by it back into reality.
"Bella?Bella! Don't move, your bleeding. I'm going to pull the car away from you." He said calmly, but the look on his face was anything but calm.
"Don't get me…get Jake first." I choked out painfully as another sharp pain ripped through my stomach.
"There isn't enough time. I can smell the gas. It's you or him." He said tightly.
"No!" I shouted fruitlessly. "Save Him!" I shouted frantically.
"Bella I'm not leaving you. I can hear your baby's heart beat. Its . I have to get you out of here right now!" he said ripping the door off the rabbit and gingerly pulling me out and away from the wreckage. I looked over his shoulder as he ran away and saw Jake..Still lifeless in the creek.
"Jake! No! get up. Please Jake. JAKE!" I screamed. "Jake." I whispered brokenly. Sobbing into Edward's chest as we ran. I started to fade in and out of consciousness again and before I knew it we were in Carlisle's office.
"Carlisle, she's been in an accident , she's lost a lot of blood, and she just went into labor." Edward said frantically, shoving all the stuff of the desk and placing me on it.
"How far apart are her contractions?" Carlisle asked.
"5 minutes." Edward said rapidly.
"Bella your baby is coming, and I think we need to do a cesarean if we are going to save it. I know you want to push but don't."Carlisle said seriously. But I was already fading.
Death is everything it is cracked up to be. White light included. There was even someone waiting for me at the end of the tunnel. Standing in the glory of the light I narrowed my eyes to make out who it was.
I saw Jake, I ran into his arms but he shoved me out of them as soon as I did.
"Jake, I'm so sorry. I don't hate you. I love you so much I-" I said but he was pointing angrily back to the way I came.
"I love you to Bella but you can't do this. Don't you dare give up on me. Go back there. Celeste needs you. Now Go!"He said.
I realized then that this would be the last time I could talk to Jake. If he was here, then he wasn't back I the real world with me.
"Jake, I love you." I said desperately, Clinging to him one last time.
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me with as much passion and love as he could get into one kiss and then he shoved me away from him and the light.
"I love you too Bella, but you can't stay! If you die so does Celeste. Go! I'll always watch over you." He said and then he started to fade away.
Reality came rushing back as another labor pain came. I heard Edward's sigh of relieve and suddenly he was right beside me.
"Don't do that again Bella! Hang on for your baby! Hang on for Jake!" He said, and then so quietly that I could barely hear him, he said 'Hang on for me….'
The operation took what seemed like hours but finally I heard the most important sound in my world. The cry of my baby girl. My little Celeste.
Relief it seemed, was short lived as the world started to get fuzzy around the edges. Lines blurred and sounds became garbled as I grew weaker. Faintly I could make out Edwards frantic voice and Carlisle's nervous frown.
"Edward, the car caused internal bleeding, it's a miracle she has lasted this long. She is going to die." He said solemnly.
"NO!" Edward shouted. "There has to be something else we can do." He pleaded looking sideways at me.
"It's your choice son. You can let her die or you can change her. Those are your options." He said.
Things took on a sickly shade of grey and I just barely heard Edward's voice telling Carlisle what to do. Then, everything went black…
AN: Well, what did you think? I know it is a little weird and a lot morbid, but it will get better. I apologize for my spelling/grammar errors ahead of time and please ask once again that you do not throw a bunch of hate mail at me. If you don't like it, you can say so, but don't be cruel about it. I love reviews!