Title: The Prince Bride
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece nor do I make any money from this.
Pairings: SanjixAce / Hints of ZoroxSanji maybe more!
Summary: Remake of The Princess Bride OP Yaoi style! Seems there is a drop of life left in Ace's corpse while Sanji in Kamabakka Kingdom is going to be forced to marry the Queen AcexSanji
Warnings: Minor bad spelling & grammar, naughty language, yaoi, nookie, spoilers if you're not up to date, cross-dressing, crack/drama, other story refs might be made, OCs, and a lot of other things that will hurt your head and make you sorry for having read this story.
A/N's: For anyone that does not like my warnings don't read I guess …it's not like I'm forcing you to.
For the sake of the story there will be OCs, one of them will be the current Queen of Kamabakka Kingdom and lot of other changes/twists that will most likely give you a headache. xD This also will be a short story.
Dedicated to vivaciousRingo cause I will never most likely ignore a request from a AcexSanji fan ^.^;
I know Ringo-chawn this is not a continuation with Ace's revenge to the drabble "Sizzling Tickles" but hopefully you will still like it and who knows maybe one day I will do a continuation to that drabble.
You all should also go check out vivaciousRingo stories they are very good!
Thank you Ringo-chawn for daily giving me the encouragement and courage to keep on with my story telling! ^.^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 1 Once Upon a Time
Once Upon a time in the land of Arabasta the deadly pirate Fire Fist Ace met the pirate cook Black Leg Sanji on his little brother's ship and it was love at first flame for the older D brother. Sanji however was rather confused and didn't at first know what to make of the fire starter. The cook had never before encountered such a polite well mannered man before. Most certainly it was a rarity on the Going Merry, the ship the cook traveled on at the time.
Ace would always offer to help the cook but the cook so pleased by just being offered with assistance would refuse and find himself praising and fussing over the man yet unlike with women he was able to comfortably be himself. Then one day after a meal when the fire starter was bringing his dishes to be washed he thanked the cook, "Thank you Sanji-san. It was delicious."
Sanji could not help but smile to Ace as he replied, "Please just call me Sanji."
"As you wish." came Ace's words in return and it was in that moment Sanji was amazed to realize what he meant was, 'I love you.' and Sanji was even more amazed to realize he truly loved this other man back as well, which was a very big shock for Sanji seeing as he thought of himself as a bit of a ladies man but the heart loved who it loved.
Sanji made it very clear how he felt for Ace one night in Arabasta. A night neither would ever forget. Sadly though like all good things Ace's time with the crew had to come to an end, as Ace was on a very important mission to find a certain dastardly man. So Ace packed up his few belongings to take with him back across the seas in his search.
It was a very emotional time for Sanji first realizing he had such love for another man and now to have such a powerful strong love be leaving him so soon after just having found it.
"I fear I will never see you again." whimpered the cook in distress as the two stole a moment in time away from the others to say their goodbyes privately.
"Of course you will." promised Ace hugging the blonde tightly to him.
"But what if something happens to you?" questioned the cook biting on his bottom lip to try and stop the tears.
Ace pulled Sanji back and stroked his golden locks as he looked deeply into his one visible blue eye. "Hear this now." His hands sliding down to the lithe man's arms as he made this vow, "I will always come for you."
"But how can you be sure?" Sanji asked not understanding how Ace could have such confidence.
Ace gave the cook one of his cheshire smiles, "This is true love ... think this happens everyday?"
The two parted with a kiss and Ace went on with his search for Blackbeard and Sanji went on with his crew to lead many adventures till the day he was split up from them and ended up alone on Momoiro Island or what he liked to call Hell.
The cook tried many ways to get off the island but the shitty okamas that the island was infested with forted all his plans. He then swallowed his manly pride to put on a dress with all the fixings to try and blend in so he could sneak away. Yet in his pink frilly dress and wig of long curls he ended up attracting the most unwanted attention of Queen Humpadick, the evil ruler of Kamabakka Kingdom now days. Being the Queen and all he proclaimed Sanji would be his new bride and of course Sanji tried to fight this but Humpadick was a devil fruit user as well with the powers of the …Suck Suck Fruit! So every time Sanji would try to fight against Humpadick, the Queen would use his Suck Suck powers to suck away Sanji's energy leaving him helpless.
Still the cook refused to give in. There was only one man he would ever marry and it was most certainly not this drag Queen!
"Why will you not marry me?" demanded the Queen as he stomped down one hairy leg with foot stuffed in a size twelve hot red high heeled pump. Even for a man he was not very attractive. Large in girth making Sanji question if those breasts were embellished or not, and were currently pushed up together in the tube top that matched the mini skirt the man wore. Having made the mistake to look down once, Sanji swore from that moment on only to look people in the face for the rest of his stay on this island from here on out.
"Because my heart already belongs to another!" growled out the cook in irritation thinking maybe if the guy knew he had someone else he would maybe back off.
The large Queen leaned forward his pink hair in pigtails falling over his shoulders to frame his fatty man tits, "Ohh someone better then me? Who is it that has stolen my little Prince's heart from me hummm?" he asked in a sweet voice.
Sanji stiffened he had not thought he would be asked whom. Slender nervous hands played with the hem of the ruffled light blue and white lolita dress he wore that clung tightly to his upper body showing the simple curves of his flat toned chest as from the waist down it puffed out in a ridicules amount of ruffles. "Well… he is a pirate." Sanji admit for the first time out loud. He was comforted by the fact at lest here on such an island he would not be laughed at for who his heart had fallen so deeply for.
"Oh and just what is this pirate's name?" asked Humpadick planning to send out his army to have the bastard killed right away.
Sanji straightened up with new hope now of getting off the island. If he gave Ace's name then surly with Whitebread's name behind Ace's it would maybe put some fear in this smug bastard. "Fire Fist Ace!" he announced proudly feeling ever so good to finally come out and say it.
Humpadick pulled back and raised a painted on dark black eyebrow at Sanji then busted into laughter.
Sanji frowned maybe the asshole didn't believe him? "It's true!" he declared.
This just got the Queen to laugh all the more. "You don't know do you?"
An uneasy feeling started to come over Sanji, "Know what?"
"Fire Fist Ace is dead!"
Sanji's world closed up on him and he refused to believe the bastard but after watching the tape that had been recorded from the live broadcasted event he could not help but believe it. Sanji fell to the floor on his ass as the tears came heavily. It had even looked like Luffy was not going to make it and who knew where his other crewmates were or even if they were still alive. It was all over …everything.
Queen Humpadick later declared the wedding to be in two and half weeks time since Sanji had no reason to refuse anymore even though the cook didn't say yes or no either. The cook was to busy in heartbreak with the image of Ace laying in a pool of his own blood. The cook swore then he would never love again.
Meanwhile on Enies Lobby Admiral Garp lay the wrapped up body of Ace, his foster grandson down on the rubble that was the only thing left of the island, having sailed over with the body from Marineford. The man racked with many memories and guilt wondering if maybe he had pushed Ace harder or maybe not so much he would have become a marine or maybe on the other hand, Garp should have tried to free him or even fought with Luffy to help free Ace. Either way there was only one chance left to make it up to Ace but if he kept having to stop to fight, like now he would never make it in time.
The boat he had taken was small and it needed at lest one person to keep it on coarse as someone else knocked the cannonballs back to keep the boat from sinking. He had stopped here in hopes to defeat the marines that were after him. Lucky for Garp with the hooded cape he wore they would never know who they were fighting else his career would be over.
Garp quickly turned around just in time to punch a cannonball back at the bastards attacking him but was then taken by surprise as a seaweed sea monster started to drag its self up onto the small shore line he was on.
"Dammit I don't have time for this crap!" roared the Admiral as he lunched himself at the seaweed covered mess creature.
The green monster then fell back under the weight of the man and the seaweed fell away from it leaving a very surprised face looking up at Garp, a face Garp recognized.
"You!...Your Roronoa Zoro!" Garp accused.
Zoro was able to clearly see the man's face even with the hood sloped down on it due to Zoro being so close to him. The swordsman bristled at once when he realized who it was. It was Luffy's grandfather! Holy fuck he seemed to keep having the worst luck ever! First it was ghost girl then that pervy swordsman promising to help him master his swords and so he went with him on his crap boat and had a drink with the man…and had a another drink and another drink then another and another …well then at that point … it had most certainly not been Zoro's swords he had tried to polish. After pushing the man over board he sailed off with the crap boat only to have it break down and start to sink on him and thus from there he had swim to here only to get himself in this mess now.
"You need to take Ace!" Garp demanded getting off the swordsman and pulling him to his feet. "There is hobbit miracle worker on Fire Swamp Island you must get Ace to that hobbit in under 24 hours if there is a chance life might be returned to him."
There were many things Zoro could have asked at that moment. Like what happened with Ace, or is Luffy around, or maybe even where is the boat but the first thing out of the green haired man's mouth was, "What the fuck is a hobbit?"
Garp growled in frustration, "There is no time for that…" he then pulled out a map with log pose from inside his cape as well as a small bag pouch and shoved them into the swordsman's hand. "The pouch is for payment for the hobbit and the map and log pose will show you the way you have to hurry or there is no chance to bring Ace back to life!" And Garp then took the time to knock back two more cannonballs that came at the little island.
Zoro confused as all hell and then some allowed himself to be shoved along into a small boat with a wrapped up passenger, he was guessing was Ace and set sail as Garp took the full defense against the oncoming marine ships attacking.
The swordsman pulled up anchor and lowered the sails catching wind and stared blankly at the map. Ok if he was here and the island was left from this place how he held it upside down then he would go forward thus being right thought Zoro and set sail heading in such direction only to hear Garp yelling at him he was going the wrong way. With a change in course the right way this time and mumblings of bastard old men, Zoro sailed on for a few hours.
As time ticked on by he could not help but look back at the blanketed covered rolled up body and wonder what the hell had happened. Even more so, this new adventure he was on, he questioned the sanity of it but then remembered anything seemed to be possible on the Grand Line. After all didn't Brook come back from the dead? Given he is a devil fruit user Zoro supposed it was possible for there to be other ways. He wasn't so sure about miracles however since he didn't believe in no god but whatever. This was Luffy's brother and he knew his captain would want this done. So surly he would be forgiven if he got back to the ship a little later then everyone else and for once those bastards could not blame his tardiness on him for getting lost! Zoro crossed his arms and was feeling pretty good about himself right now … of course that was the signal for something to happen.
"Ahhhh!" came the double cries from above Zoro. Caught off guard the swordsman looked up only to have a furry ball land in his face and something else landed hard in his gut knocking him backwards as he tried to pull the thing off his face.
"Oh man that was way to close! Dammit Chopper why did you have to ride that bird right into me!…" came a familiar angry female voice.
Zoro finally pulling the fur thing from his face he blinked to realize it was a traumatized Chopper still in a daze, and his small body still in position as if clinging to Zoro's head. Blinking Zoro looked up to see the female was none other then Nami. "Oi…what are you two doing falling out of the sky like that?"
"I was riding on an air current trying to get back to the ship having picked up a few nifty tricks from a small sky island till he comes out of nowhere riding this huge ass bird the two talking and not looking where they were going and ended up crashed into me!...hey wait what are you doing here?" Nami then frowned looking about the boat then eyes widen at the body shaped covered load. "Oh no did someone get hurt?"
This question seemed to snap Chopper out of it. "Whaaa! Someone is hurt? Oh no we need a doctor!" gasped the little doctor in a panic.
Zoro sighed and gave them a run down of what he knew. Of course the sea witch then demanded the map, log pose and pouch.
Nami's eyes lighted up in belis signs as she looked in the pouch then tucked that down her scantily clad top for … huh safe keeping. She then studied the map and log pose and barked out orders to Zoro to reposition the sails and pulled out this time from her top a rope.
"Oi! Witch how much stuff can you fit down in there?" Zoro asked wondering if maybe it was some kind of black hole or something.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Nami grinned mischievously.
Zoro blinked and shrugged, "Not really…" thus getting Nami to frown but Chopper chimed in at this point having been quiet till now.
"Zoro? This is not going to be like Thriller Bark is it?" The idea of a person coming back to life was truly amazing and if there was such a person who knew of such medical possibilities it would be wonderful but the little reindeer was worried on what the cost would be, like how it was last time with other people's shadows and creepy zombies as results. "Ahhh I don't want Luffy's brother a zombie Zoro!" cried the little reindeer.
Zoro pet the little furball's head, "Ah it will be alright and hey if he does turn into a zombie he will most likely light himself on fire and scare himself shittless… heh that alone is worth the trip for me." He snickered.
Nami rolled her eyes and used a little rope wind trick to create extra wind to speed their trip up and in no time they came to the island that was surrounded in cliffs. "Ah looks like the only way up is to climb." stated the navigator. "Guess that means you will just have to carry us all Zoro." Nami smiled.
"Oi! What the fuck! Why do I have to carry you both? You can climb your damn selves." shot back Zoro.
Nami waved a finger at him, "Ah, ah…if we did it would take longer besides what if one of us fell then it would take even longer still… so really you see its better if you just carry us up, plus if you don't I will just raise the debt you owe me another 200%."
Zoro's right eye twitched and he growled out a, "Fine."
So they dropped anchor and Zoro with the Ace strapped to his back, Nami to his front and Chopper on his head the swordsman scaled up the cliff. He just had to think of this as more training he told himself.
As Zoro was busy concentrating Chopper's worrying voice spoke up, "Huh guys there is a marine ship pulling in!"
"What!" Namie yelled right in Zoro's ear making him startle for a moment and a hand slipped causing some lose rocks fall down the now long drop. He then grinded his teeth as Nami smacked at him yelling at him to, "Move faster, move faster!"
"Will you shut up witch I'm going as fast as I can here!" huffed the swordsman.
"Oh no what if they take our boat?" Chopper cried.
"Its fine we will worry about that later. First thing first we only have another ten hours to make it to the hobbit's hut in the middle of fire swamp forest of the island." Nami explained
Grunting Zoro piped in with, "I still want to know what a fucking hobbit is."
Zoro went unanswered yet again on this question as Chopper started to freak out, "Oh no now they are climbing up the cliff side ahhhh!" and wrapped his hooves over Zoro's eyes.
"Dammit Chopper I cant see, just calm down would you!" a vein was twitching on the side of Zoro head now. Seriously, this hobbit bullshit better work cause if this was all for nothing he was kicking someone's ass.
Finally they made it to the top of the cliff and saw the marines now half way up. "Hey some look like swordsmen!" grinned Zoro, things finally looking up as he placed a hand to his three swords at his side. "I can wait here for them and take care of them as you two…" but he was cut off as Nami pushed a giant boulder off the cliff with her staff she whipped out and they all watched the boulder bounce down knocking off all the marines that had been climbing up.
"Gaw! Nami the boat!" Chopper cried out in panic and of course just then the boulder crashed down on the boat they had used to get here destroying it at once and now already starting to sink it into the deep waters.
Both Zoro and Chopper looked at her with narrowed eyes. She gave a cutesy nervous laugh and rubbed the back of her head, "Woopsie … huh we will huh worry about that later come on lets get going!"
Having no other choice they let Nami lead them with Zoro literally carrying the dead weight. They then hiked down to the meadows, the fields, and up the hills. It was nightfall when they stopped for a rest.
Nami rubbed her swore feet. "We are going to have to keep moving there is only a few hours left of the time limit and surly some of those marines have remade it up the cliff side by now."
"Fine by me." Zoro still feeling like he could go on for the next ten hours if needed. Chopper however got up to his feet half asleep and started to walk trailing behind Zoro who was still caring Ace and was now behind Nami. As they made there way down a very steep hill one little misstep of a hoof lead to chaos. Chopper went down rolling, the sound causing the swordsman to look back only to be plowed over and tumble backwards pushing Nami to go flying forward as they all then went rolling down the hill, Ace flying from Zoro's makeshift-backpack-corpse-holder, leaving Ace's head to clunk all the way down to the bottom.
They then all sat dazed at the bottom of the hill Chopper very awake now. "Ahhh I'm so sorry guys. No one is hurt right?" Chopper asked with tears in his eyes.
"It's fine Chopper ..." Nami rubbed the small of her back and then she and the others turned to the body in the blanket all having seen the head hit a few rocks on the way down.
"Erm you don't think that will damage anything do you?" Zoro asked.
"Well technically since he is already dead I would think not…." Chopper replied.
"Eh what's the worst that can happen?" laughed Nami.
"Well he could revert to a low form of brain pattern much like Luffy." Chopper offered.
"You mean then there would be two Luffy's running around?" Zoro asked with wide eyes in fear that soon matched the other's looks.
"Let's just hope the hobbit can fix that too." Nami smiled nervously as the others got up and Zoro got Ace back on his back.
"I still wanna know what a fucking hobbit is…." grumbled Zoro
"Come we need to get a move on it, it's just up ahead, the fire swamp forest!" Nami called out.
Zoro was starting to think this was a conspiracy, a cover up of hobbits world wide or maybe just some world wide ploy to annoy him?
To be continued …