MegaSliferSlacker7: I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Konichiwa dudes and dudets! M triple S here with another FMA fic! I Y FullMedal Alchemist!!! Besides, I get to have fun writing this! And it's a 2 pairing fic, Edward & Winry, Roy & Riza! My favorite FMA pairings dude! Okay, this story is based on what happen when 14 people and 3 kitties get snowed into HQ military base for 2 weeks! Who will be the first to completely loose it?! Watch as Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Edward Elric, Winry Rockbell, HUMAN Alphonse Elric, Falman, Jean Havoc, Breda, Kain Fuery, Alex Louis Armstrong, Maes Hughes, Gracia Hughes, Elica Hughes, Barry the Chopper, and about 3 kitties join to together to try to survive the wrath of, each other!
CLANK! "OW! DAMN IT WINRY! THAT FREAKIN' HURT!!!" Edward Elric yelled at his auto-mail mechanic and long time friend, Winry Rockbell. She had just hit him in the head with Ed's second worst enemy, her wrench, again. Oh, the first one's milk, by the way. "DAMN IT ED! What did you do to your arm THIS time!" She yelled at him. " I got into a big fight and my arm dislocated!" he shouted. "You idiot! Can't you at least CONTROL yourself from getting into a fight!" she shouted. "Well unfortunately, NO!!!" As they continued arguing, the HQ Military base and some other FMA characters watched in entertainment. "I bet 20 bucks on Miss Rockbell." Roy Mustang said plainly. "I raise that by betting 30 bucks on Ed." Breda stated. WHALM! "GOD DAMN IT WINRY!" "Pay up." Mustang said and Breda grumbled and gave him the money. "Just sit freakin' still so I can put in your arm!" Winry grumbled and Ed sat down on the couch in his boxers. "1…2…3!" "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!" Edward cried as she put on his auto-mail arm. "Shut up Ed, I have to do some adjustments." Winry stated and grabbed her wrench. Ed looked down at her and, smiled? Dude, THAT'S SO OCC! "Hey ,uh, Win." he said. She looked up at him from screwing in a bolt. "Ya Ed?" she answered. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm, ah, I……I'm sorry I was so mean to you Winry……" He said and everyone looked up at him in shock. Winry's eyes widened. "D…did Y…YOU just say you were S…SORRY?!" Winry asked and dropped her wrench. Ed sweat dropped. "Is it THAT surprising that I apologized?!" He snapped. "YES!!!" They all exclaimed. "Okay, let's just go, WHA?!" Hughes opened the door and came face to face with a 20ft tall wall of snow. Everyone panicked! "HOLY CRAP! WE'RE SNOWED IN!"
"WE'LL NEVER SUVIVE!"
"HALLLLLPPPPPP!!!"
"MOMMY!!!"
"Okay who said 'mommy'?"
"…"
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE- KA-CHAK! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! Hawkeye shot her pistol. Dead Silence. "Thank you Lieutenant, now, I, Colonel Roy Mustang, shall melt this ice down!" Mustang said and braced his fingers. "DON'T!!!" Hawkeye grabbed his wrist before he could do anything. "Sir, what are you?" She asked in a motherly tone. "An Alchemist." "Correct, and you are the FLAME Alchemist, right?" He nodded his head. "And your heat plus snow, which is frozen water, would make what?" she asked. "Um……Hot steam?" he asked and she nodded. "Very good Colonel, here's a cookie." she said and threw a cookie in his hands. "YAY!" Mustang chirped and scarfed down the cookie. "I guess we're stuck in this place for about……2 to 3 weeks, judging by the amount of snow." Ed said and moved his arm up and down, testing it. "How can you be so calm about that big brother?!" Al asked. "Feh, I've been in worst situations." He said and stood on his hands. He did a back flip and landed on his hands again. "How could this get ANY worse!?" Fuery asked and held his hands on his head pulling on his hair. "Muhahahaahaha! Hello, stupid military officials and other people who I don't remember the names of!" A voice was heard from the shadows. Ed sweat dropped. "We all know who you are Barry so just shut up." he said and Barry the Chopper dropped his butcher knife. "DAMN IT! So much for chopping you guys up! How was my evil approach?" He asked. "Not very good." Winry stated. "AW COME ON! The evil laugh was new! Throw me a freakin' bone here!" Barry whined and put his hands in front of him. "Well, I'm outta here! See ya on the flip side, FullMedal runt!" He said, swung his knife over his shoulder and headed towards the door. "I wouldn't-" "WOAH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" Barry shouted and looked at the wall of snow. "Were gonna be stuck in here for weeks dude." Havoc stated and puffed out some smoke from his cigarette. Barry's eyes widened in horror. "WHAT?! I CAN'T BE STUCK IN HERE WITH YOU LOSERS!!!" He panicked. "Hey! We're RIGHT HERE you know!" Al yelled and Barry looked up from self pity. "Ya, I know." He stated and everyone sweat dropped. "So, anyone gotta plan?" Mustang asked and Hughes lit up. "Well, we have plenty of food in the mess hall, a fireplace and firewood, electricity, bathrooms, -wait! How many people are here?!" He asked and counted. "Oh crap…" He muttered and Ed looked up. "What do you mean 'oh crap'?!" Ed said and Hughes cleaned his glasses with his shirt. "Well, we have 14 people……" He started. "Yea, so what?" Ed asked and Hughes lifted his glasses to his face. "We only have 12 beds, 12 spare rooms, and 12 blankets. Some people are gonna have to pair up and share." he stated. Everyone turned and looked at Ed, Winry, Mustang, and Hawkeye. "Wait a minute……" "HELL NO I'M NOT SHARING WITH HER/HIM!!!" They yelled pointing to each other. "He's a pervert!!!" "She'll kill me!!!" "He's an idiot!!!" "She'll kill ME!!!" They yelled and everyone sweat dropped. "So it's all settled! Ed with Winry and Hawkeye with Colonel Pansy-ass over here!" Barry declared. "Ya, wait a minute-HEY!" Mustang shouted and Barry the Chopper just laughed. "Nah, nah, nana, nah! Whacha gonna do about it looser!!!" He teased and Mustang smirked. "It's ether I could have you arrested by the state military or I could I burn your ass to living hell, pick one." Mustang said and Barry gulped. "I'm just gonna shut up now." He squeaked. They walked out to the mess hall and ate dinner. "I get the left side of the bed." Winry stated and Ed looked up. "No way! I'm getting' the left side!" He yelled. "No, I am!" "I am!" "I am!" I am!" "I am!" "I- "Hush!" Hawkeye said and Mustang stood up. "Look, I know we don't like this, but we're gonna have to live with it! Now, boys are more important so we get the left sides of the bed." Mustang stated and Hawkeye hit him over the head. "Ladies first Colonel, we get the left side!" She yelled. "We do!" The boys yelled. "No, We do!" The girls shouted back. "We do!" "We do!" "We do!" "We do!" "We do!" "We- "WOULD YOU BABIES PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" Barry yelled and chopped his knife into the table. "Now, we're gonna do this the most responsible, reasonable, intelligent way possible." Hughes stated. "Rock Paper Scissors!" 8 year old Elisa Hughes finished. They sweat dropped and put out their hands. "Rock! Paper! Scissors!" "DAMN!" The boys grumbled. "HA!" The girls laughed and showed off. "Na na nana na!!!" They teased and stuck out their tongues. "Oh, shut up!" Mustang growled. Hawkeye stood up and saluted. "Yes sir, Colonel Poor Sport Pansy ass, sir!" She laughed. Mustang growled and Winry laughed, but her laughing faded when she looked down at Ed's plate. "Ed……" Winry said warningly. Ed knew that tone and looked away. Silence "You didn't drink your milk." She stated. There was a moments silence. "I hate milk……" He grumbled. "GOD DAMN IT ED, THAT'S WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA BE A WHIMPY ASS LITTLE RUNT!!!" "WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' A BUG THAT'S NOT EVEN VISIBLE BY THE HUMAN EYE!!!" "I DIDN'T SAY ALL THAT DUMB-ASS!" "SHUT THE HELL UP YOU STUPID AUTO-MAIL OTAKU!!!" "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP YOU STUPID ALCHEMY OTAKU!!!" "THAT'S IT!!!" Ed yelled and grabbed some mashed potatoes and threw it at her face. She just stood there with food sliding down her face. Her eye twitched. 5.…4.…3.…2.…1.…"YOU'RE FREAKIN' DEAD!!!" she screamed and grabbed some food and threw it at him. Ed brushed the food off his shirt and they both threw. Al stood on the table. "Now you guys, you're 17, let's settle down and handle this like mature adults-SPLAT!!! Food was splattered all over him. Al twitched and there was a moments silence. Al grabbed some food. "SCREW THIS!!! FOOD FIGHT!!!" He cried and he, Ed and Winry started throwing food at each other like a war. Food flew all over the place! Well, Winry threw her wrench at Ed's head once…CLANG!!! "OW!!! DAMN IT WIN!!!" Anyway, the others just stood there. Mustang looked over to Hawkeye at the corner of his eye. "Riza." He stated and everyone stopped and starred at him. He never used her FIRST name before. He grabbed a pie. "Y…yes Colonel?" She asked with her eyes wide. "I do believe it's TIME TO DECLARE WAR!!!" He said and threw the pie at her face. He smirked and pointed at her. "By the way, it's Roy, Colonel seems to……boring!" He chirped and she twitched. She growled and braced her gun at her side. He temper rose. And everyone knew, NEVER EVER EVER ,if you value your life, piss off First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye! But, she smiled and grabbed some curry she walked over to Roy. "Okay then, YOU'RE ON ROY!!!" She yelled and threw the curry in his face. They started fighting now. The others sweat dropped. Elisa laughed. "HAHA! Hey Papa." she said and Hughes looked at her. "Yes sweetheart dear?" He said in a weird voice. Elisa sweat dropped. "First, I'm 8 years old, I'm not a baby. Second, isn't what Ed and Winry and Uncle Roy and Auntie Riza doing considered flirting?" She asked and they looked down at her. "Dear child, they're ALWAYS flirting, they just don't realize it." Armstrong chuckled. Elisa giggled. "I figured it was that, they really like each other! I just don't know about Uncle Roy and Auntie Riza. They're sort of complicated." She stated. "Trust me kid, I've known Roy for a good 20 years, and he couldn't survive a day with out his precious Lieutenant." Havoc said and the others nodded. "What about Ed, I've never seen him kiss a girl or go on a date, doesn't his hormones like, crave stuff like girls? Or does it not?" She asked and everyone looked at each other. "That's a good point Eli, doesn't all those bottled up teenage hormonal urges go some where?" Fuery asked. "Well, if my calculations are correct, the may come out on the nearest young teenage girl, one that he's attracted to of course." Falman stated. They blinked. and turned red. "EEWWWW………" they said and a flying pie came down. "DUCK!!!" Barry shouted, but it hit his in the face. "DUDE! I just cleaned this armor! You bastards!" He said and threw some food, but it hit Breda. "Grrrrrr! Eat food chump!" He yelled and threw. "Eat food? That has got the LAMEST battle cry ever! That doesn't even make sense!" Havoc exclaimed and a pie splattered all over his head. "GRRRRRRR! EAT FOOD YOU BASTARDS!" He shouted and joined the fight. Pretty soon everyone was fighting! Using tables as forts, straws as pea shooters, it was like the cafeteria Civil War!!! Ed hid behind a table ready to fire, when Winry pounced on him from behind and started tackling him. "HA!" Winry shouted and smuggled steak on his shirt. She sat on top of him so he couldn't get up. The others watched to see what she would do. She grinned evilly and grabbed a glass of milk. Ed's eyes widened. "ANY THING BUT THE MILK WIN!!!! NOT MILK!!! NNNOOOOOOO!!!!" He screamed and she forced the milk down his throat. He gulped it down and she smiled and raised her fist in the air. "Let it be known through out Military history, that I, Winry Rockbell, successfully got the stubborn-ass Edward Elric, to drink a glass of milk!" she cheered and he licked his lips. "Hm, aint that bad." he stated and Winry smirked. "See, and if you drink more of it you'll grow up to be a big boy!" She said and the others snickered. Ed looked at the bottle of milk. "You mean if I drink that crap I'll get taller?" He asked and they all nodded. He grabbed the bottle and started gulping it down. Hughes smirked. "You do know you're still sitting on him, right?" He asked and Winry blushed and jumped off him. "So……What do you guys wanna do now?" Barry asked. "Let's get a fire going." Armstrong stated and Roy snapped his finger at the fire place. "Done." He said and took off his gloves. They sat down in the main lounge and Roy looked over to Riza. "Hey Riza, I don't think in 20 years of knowing you, I've ever seen you with your hair down." He said and Riza looked over to him. "It makes Military officials assume that I have no strength and they show me no respect." She stated and he sat up straight in his chair. "Well, we won't tell anyone if you put your hair down, will we guys?" he asked and the others nodded. "You have to close your eyes." Riza said and they closed them, Riza looked around. She reached at the top of her head and pulled out the clip that held up her long blond hair. Her hair fell 4 inches down below her shoulders. Really, she looked very pretty with her blond hair and caramel brown eyes, but she didn't really give a crap. "Okay, go ahead and open your eyes…." She grumbled and they did. Their eyes widened. "Golly, you're really pretty Auntie Riza!" Elisa exclaimed. Roy was in a trance, his jaw was dropped and you could see a bit of drool coming out the side of his mouth. "Y…Yea…." He slurred and Riza blushed a bit. "No, I'm just plain." She stated and Roy stood up. "Are you kidding me! Don't talk badly about your self Riza, you're drop dead beautiful! Why I-" He snapped and covered his mouth. "I…I…y…yea you're very pretty Lieutenant…." he mumbled and sat down. Man, and I thought it wasn't possible for Riza Hawkeye to get any more red! "Ooooooooooo! Roy has a crush on Hawkeye doesn't he!" Ed snickered and Roy glared at him. "You better shut up twerp or I'll burn you ass to hell." He growled and Winry giggled. "ROY AND RIZA SITTIN' IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Ed and Winry sang. "Shut up!" Roy snapped. "That's it I'm putting my hair back u-" "Don't'!" Roy blurted and Riza stopped. "Okay…" she said awkwardly. Now, everyone was singing and making fun of them, well, not for long. KA CHAK! Riza cocked her gun warningly. They shut up after that. "Okay, who want's ta chop up stuff?" Barry asked. "No!" they all exclaimed. "So what the hell are we gonna do?!" He asked and Roy looked into his office. "Well, Roy could actually finish his paper work." Riza said and Mustang shivered. "Or, we could tamper into top secret Military files!" Roy said and they looked at each other. "Is that legal ?" Fuery asked. "Hell no! But the war's over and I'm president so like I could give a crap!" Roy said and shuffled through the papers. "Oh, Military permanent records! Let's see……Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Edward Elric, Kain Fuery, Alex Louis Armstrong, Jean Havoc, Heymans Breda, Vato Falman, and Maes Hughes. Hold on a sec, TOP SECRET info on Riza…" Roy said slyly and Riza tried to grabbed the paper. He held it up high above his head and she kept jumping up for it. "Gimme that Roy!" she screamed and he read through it. "Your middle name's Kirsandra, 29 years old, 4.0 grade average…glasses prescribed? Wore braces at 13? Trained with computers? Advanced reader? I get it! You a were total geek! AHAHAHAHA!!!" Roy laughed and Riza blushed and looked down with her hands in front of her stomach. "Riza I didn't mean…" "I…It's okay, I told you that I'm just plain…" she said and Roy continued looking down the list. He started sweating and a horrified look came upon his face. The paper said: All range major in all professional weaponry, trained in 21 different fighting styles, excelled in hand to hand combat, graduated at top of camp as a officer in training, can kill a man with bare hands in other words, THIS CHICKS FUCKING CRAZY!!! The others looked at the list, whimpered in fear, and scooted 2 ft away from Riza. "W…what the h…hell is this?!" Roy exclaimed and Riza sighed. "Look, I need to tell you, that I'm-" "You're what? A freakin' power ranger?!" Roy asked. "No, my dad, my father was Top General Hikaru…" she whispered and their jaws dropped. "He was the top officer in the whole military!!!" Breda exclaimed. "I know, he just never told anyone his last name. Hikaru Sonikato Hawkeye." She stated and they sweat dropped. "Why the hell didn't you tell us this?!" Roy asked and Riza blushed. "I told you, I'm not like my father, I'm just a plain officer." She said. Roy was about to say something but Ed interrupted him. "So, what's your middle name Roy?" Ed asked and looked at the papers. "Charles Wallace? Roy Charles Wallace Mustang?" Ed snickered and Winry whacked him in the head with her wrench. "Hey, I remember when I used to call you Little Edo Bear!" Winry giggled and Ed whined. "Winry! Not in front of THEM! I still remember Win-Win kun!" Ed smirked and she blushed. "S…shut up!" Winry said and they started arguing, again. "That's it!" Barry yelled, picked them up, and locked them in their room. "Now, I'm goin' ta bed!" he stated and walked into his room. Roy yawned. "Ya, so am I…" He looked over to Riza who was looked at the list and frowning. He whimpered and grasped her hand. "Sorry Riza…I didn't mean it, I think you're very pretty and smart, better than any girl I've ever met……" He said softly and she smiled. They stood there looking at each other blushing and smiling, totally forgetting about the people next to them. "AW! Aint it beautiful! They grow up so fast, don't the guys?" Havoc said and Hughes, Fuery, Armstrong, Breda, and Falman cried like mothers loosing their babies. They heat in Roy and Riza's faces rose and they let their hands go. "So. Um, ladies first!" Roy said and pointed to the door. "No way, beauty before broad!" Riza said and the others laughed. "Dude! You just got totally motted!" Havoc laughed and Roy growled. "No, no. I insist that you go first!" He said and gritted his teeth. Riza pushed him in the room. CRASH! "Owwwwww…." He groaned and she smiled. "Well, now you're first!" she said and walked into the room.
BANG! BANG! BANG!!! "Come on open the damn door!" Ed yelled but no one answered. Winry sat on the bed reading a book. She turned the page. "You've been banging on that door for 30 minutes Ed, just give up and come sit down." she stated and patted the space beside her. Ed started sweating. "I…I'll s…sleep on the f…floor!" He stuttered. She glared at him. "What's wrong with sitting by me?" she asked and his eye twitched. "No no! It's n…not y…you, well, I…" He stammered. Winry raised an eyebrow and walked over to him. "Ed, you okay?" she asked sweetly and felt his forehead. He gulped and started sweating again. "N…no! I….I'm fine!" he said and she held his hand. "You can tell me Edward, I've known you since we were infants!" she said and he shivered. "W…well, I h…have a p…problem. I keep lot of emotions bottled up, so I never, have like, done anything with girls. And when I get near a really pretty one, I have to hold it in again!" He yelped and she nodded. "Well, why is it happening now?" She asked. "I…I think Y…you're r…really pretty Win." he squeaked. She blushed. "What?!" "Do you know how hard it is to hold it in during repairs! Why do you think I always fight with you! I've been going through this with you on my mind for 5 freakin' years! And sleeping in the same room and same bed aint gonna help me! I'm evil and I don't think you should be near me!" He squeaked and shuffled a few feet away from her. She stared at him for a couple of minutes. Silence. "What makes you think those urges are bad?" she asked and he looked up. "Of course they're bad! Bad thoughts equal bad urges!" He yelped. "Bad thoughts? What kind of thoughts are you having about me Edward Elric?" she asked and he shivered. "J…just forget I said anything!" He snapped and she smiled. "Whatever Ed, I was just gonna say those thoughts are perfectly normal for a man your age!" she said and twirled around. Ed grabbed her shoulder. "Wait, what?" he asked and she grinned. "It's perfectly normal for a growing man like you to have those urges!" She said slyly. "Man? I thought I was an idiot boy!" he said and she placed her hand on his chest. "Well, there's ONE way we can tell if you're a man or not……" she said flirtatiously and he shivered. "W…Winry?!…Eep!" he squeaked.
………………………………...
"You didn't have to push me that hard!" Roy complained and rubbed his head. "Suck it up, you're a big boy now. You've been through 2 freakin' wars, and you still can't handle a little push?" Riza said and put the bandage rap around his head. "If you had pushed any harder you would have killed me!" he snapped and she giggled. "Yea, yea, yea. Just hold still!" She said and put the band-aids on him. They were sitting on the bed and Riza was nursing him. Roy was sitting back to Riza in between her legs. Amazingly, she let him. "Okay……and done!" She said and rested her hands on his shoulders. "Thanks Riza." He said and winced. "Ow! My shoulders hurt!" He yelped and she massaged his shoulders. "That better?" She asked and he smiled tiredly. "Y…yea…" he slurred and lied down against her. She ran he hands through his jet black hair and her rested his head on her lap. "So…Lieutenant, isn't considered employee fraternizing?" Roy asked. "Well sir, you're Fuhrer now, it's your rules now." she stated and he smiled. "I make the rules, huh……And I can order you around to!" He chirped and sat up. Her face fell. "Lieutenant, I order you to forever call me Roy only and………give me a kiss." Roy said and she blushed. "You're kidding, right?" she asked and he grinned. "That's an order Lieutenant Hawkeye." he demanded and she gulped. "I…I'll do my best s…sir…" she whimpered and he smiled. "It's Roy." He said and pressed his lips on hers. After about a 1 hour and 35 minutes the rest of the Military officials barged into the room. "Hey guys! What u-" Hughes stopped in the middle of his sentence. "HOLLY SHIT!" "MY EYES!!!" "OH MY GOD!" "Well this was bad timing…." "COLONEL?! LEITENTANT?!" "WHOO HOO! 10 POINTS FOR MUSTANG!" "SHUT THE HELL UP BREDA!" "DEAR FREAKIN' LORD MAN!" "IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCOLIPSE!!!" The others were wide eyed and slack jawed at the sight. Roy was only in his military pants on top of Riza and she was lying back against the bed with her long blond hair down and spread all over. Her military jacket was on the floor and she was in a button up blouse with 5 of the top buttons messed up and undone. His jet black hair was messed up and they were makin out PRETTY passionately! She opened one eye and both shot open. "Roy! Get! Off!" she snapped and kicked him off with her feet. He rolled off the bed. "What the hell was that for Riza?!" He asked startled. He looked up at the others and blushed. "Oh….." Roy said plainly while Riza whistled and played with her gun nervously. "Um, hi…..hehehe…." Roy laughed nervously and the others blinked. "I will never be able to unsee that." Al stated blankly. "Hey Fuery….." Hughes started. "Yea?" Fuery asked. "You got that on tape, right?" Hughes asked and Fuery nodded. "Good, now, as soon as we get out of here, WE'LL FINALLY HAVE THE PROOF OF THE ENTIRE MILITARY'S BELOVED COUPLE, ROY AND RIZA, FINALLY MADE OUT!!!" Havoc cheered and the others started laughing. Riza and Roy looked at each other. "GIVE US THAT TAPE!!!" They yelled and chased after them. "RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!" They yelped and ran for their lives. Eventually, Roy and Riza got the tape from them. Roy put it on the ground and Riza cocked her gun. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! She shot the tape and it shattered to pieces. The military officers fell to their knees. "THAT WAS OUR ONLY PROOF!!! NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" They cried. Riza smiled. "Well now that that's done, you guys better keep quiet unless you want me to shoot your brains out to." She threatened and the others shivered and nodded. Riza and Roy walked back to there room, slammed the door, and locked it.
MegaSliferSlacker7: What happened to Win and Ed? Find out int the next chapter!