Buried Affections

(A/N: This takes place after a certain incident in CoLS where Alec has just come home in the middle of the night and Jace is there to console him.)

When Jace initially heard the slam of the Institute's front door, he glanced up from his book and frowned. It was well past midnight and he'd been desperately avoiding sleep that night through a tonne of reading and about a million cups of coffee. He had been feeling fidgety for hours, knowing that even if he were to succumb to his drooping eyelids and other persistent signs of sleep deprivation, his mind would never shut off, and he would lay awake until the early hours of the morning.

He jumped up from his comfortable seat in the library and strolled towards the recently slammed doors, wondering what could have called for such a loud entry. It couldn't have been the wind, and Jace walked a little quicker when he imagined what menace could have been breaking into the Institute in the middle of the night.

It was dark at the entrance, so much so that Jace wondered whether he could have done with a night vison rune, but if he squinted, he could just about make out a shape on the ground by the door. It moved slightly, as though it was shaking. Jace reached for his witchlight, holding it out to reveal Alec in a crumpled heap on the floor, his whole body quaking uncontrollably from violent sobs.

"Alec?" He approached his brother with slight caution and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Alec looked up, his deep blue eyes connecting with Jace's and gleaming under the puddles of tears. His sobs subsided, but he was clearly still silently crying. "Everything," he whispered, reaching up to wipe the tears off of his face. "It's Magnus. He… He ended it."

"By the Angel," Jace exclaimed in a whisper. "Why would he do that?" Alec didn't respond, but just watched the floor with obvious self-hatred. Jace wished that Alec would stop blaming himself for everything, and suddenly resented the warlock who had caused his tears. Alec had seemed so much happier with Magnus, no longer so lonely and sour, and it was clear could tell that Magnus had felt the same way. Why would throw away something as great as that?

After a long sigh, tinted slightly with anger that Jace knew he had to control, he pulled the other boy up from the ground and into a strong embrace. The resilient sobbing was muffled in Jace's shirt, and he could feel tears seeping softly through the thin material. He could almost feel his parabatai's heartache, and it stung. Jace remembered such a time when he'd felt a similar burning in his heart, when he'd been told that the girl he was in love with was in fact his sister. The lie had cut a deep gash in his heart, and he could only imagine that the same sensation was ripping through Alec right now. He had no idea if he was helping or just being an annoyance, since he knew that the pain of heartbreak refused to be numbed. But he felt the need to at least attempt to comfort Alec.

Alec, however, couldn't think of anyone better to comfort him.

Alec had been in love with Jace since he was eleven years old, and for years had tried to hide it, until Clary had come along and dragged his secret out into the open. But Jace knew this. The blonde had been completely calm about it when he'd found out, and had told Alec to get over himself and take a step out of his comfort zone. So when that step had appeared, obvious and fabulously gorgeous, Alec had seized the opportunity – and not only to get over Jace. He really loved Magnus, and when he'd said it was over, the words had cut through Alec and burned hotter than a seraph blade.

But although he'd been with Magnus, Alec had never really been able to shift his previous feelings for Jace. They had dulled, but had refused fade completely. Sure, he no longer indulged in erotic fantasies, but he still appreciated the boy's golden, almost angelic features. How could anyone stop loving Jace?

"It's his loss anyway," Jace piped up, and Alec suddenly snapped out of his little trance. The words reminded him of something that would be said to a heartbroken teenage girl, especially with the hint of pity in Jace's tone. He quickly pulled away from the warm embrace, blushing with embarrassment, and sat with his back to the wall. He hugged his knees and tried as hard as he could to ignore the nagging voice in his head that was commenting on Jace's smell, face, eyes, and especially, the way his clothes clung to his skin.

"Are you OK?" Jace enquired.

"I'm fine." In all honesty, Alec didn't think he'd ever be OK - he pain in his chest felt as though it would never go away. But Jace's presence alone seemed to be somewhat helping.

"You know, I can tell when you're lying."

"Then no. I'm far from OK," Alec admitted. "But that was plainly obvious. Why ask?"

Jace's lips curved into a small smile, probably concealing a laugh at Alec's need for everything to have reason. Humour was wasted on him.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, during which Alec practically stared at Jace as he fidgeted. He would realise he was staring every now again and pull his eyes away, but they always seemed to eventually stray back to Jace.

"Thanks, Jace," Alec said after a while, offering a weak smile to the look the beautiful blonde sent him, as though he wandered what he was being thanked for. "You can go if you want."

"What about you?" Alec noticed the touch of genuine concern in his voice.

"I'm just going to sit here and… mourn for a little while longer."

Jace nodded and stood, taking a step backwards, his eyes still locked with Alec's, before he turned and walked away. But he only got a few feet away before he spun around again and did something incredibly unpredictable. He came back to where Alec sat and crouched down beside him, taking a minute to search the blue eyed boy before he leaned forward. He planted a firm kiss on Alec's lips, a hand gripping the back of his neck. He lingered for only a few seconds before he pulled away, seemingly with sudden regret, and walked off. But not before Alec caught a glance of Jace's tongue flicking across his lips.

Alec was left gaping at nothing, eyes wide with fascination. He reached up to touch his lips, convinced that he must have imagined it. But the sweet taste of Jace still hung there. A small part of him squealed with excitement, but confusion blinded him.

By the Angel – what had just happened?!