Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and make no profit off of this story.
Forgetting
Ninjas are good at forgetting.
They forget what it was like to look into Orochimaru's eyes when he was little and see excitement at learning and nothing more. Little Anko smiled when she learned something new from him and he smiled at her. They forget that they ever thought him one of them.
They forget the boy Uchiha Sasuke might have been-the way he'd wrinkle his nose when he didn't like what adults were telling him and it was so cute. They forget that he laughed. They forget how he showed up on his neighbor's doorstep one night trembling so hard he could barely stand. His eyes were wide and blank as he told her "Itachi's killed everyone." He had to be hospitalized for shock. But the people of Konoha don't like to remember that. They like to remember him as the talented prince. The last of the Uchihas who will rise up like some fairytale hero. They forget he's just a boy. But they can be forgiven, because they also forget that he left once.
They would swear they don't, that they haven't, but they forget their dead too. They once had a leader with blonde hair and blue eyes and all of that looks like someone else they know now. They don't speak of that, don't remember that. But they also forget that Naruto has a demon inside of him, which the people of the sand never forgot about Gaara.
They forget what it was like to believe in love the way Sakura does. It's not that love isn't real but that they've grown up. They don't remember what it was like to beg someone to love you, to beg them to stay, to beg them not to hurt you like that. They've learned everything is about the mission.
Ninjas are good at forgetting and living for just this moment. Because this moment doesn't hurt yet.
Author's Note: Yes, I know that in the show, Sasuke gets hit with the special sharingan and wakes up in the hospital the morning after the attack. I'm thinking though that he must have woken up at some point because how else would he have been found? I think the Uchiha compound was isolated enough that the neighbors wouldn't just pop over unannounced and notice everyone was dead. So I think Sasuke must have woken up and gone for help.
Magnitude
They don't say his name but they still gossip like crows. They mutter things like "I should have known" or "I always suspected there was something wrong with him" or "I told them that…"
Sasuke just swears "I will kill him."
Sometimes when no one is around to see and he's too tired to fight his own thoughts he remembers when he loved his brother. When he thought his brother loved him.
He remembers once when Itachi took him to the sakura festival. Sasuke was too short to see and Itachi lifted him up to sit on his shoulders. Sasuke laughed and grabbed handfuls of his brother's hair for balance and Itachi never said anything about his sticky fingers or when he pulled too hard. Sasuke remembers how the sun looked that day as it set and painted everything pink and orange and purple.
He remembers Itachi telling him what the Sharingan is and laying one heavy hand on his head. Sasuke had grinned up at him and Itachi had given a small smile in return.
Sasuke wonders how much of it was real. Maybe that's the hardest part. He doesn't know how much he's been betrayed.
It doesn't matter though. He was betrayed and he hates Itachi and he's going to kill him.
Itachi's eyes are red as he dies and they fade to black with his fading breath. At first he laughed a little but he doesn't say anything, no matter what Sasuke wants. He just gives that enigmatic smile and dies.
Sasuke is a ninja. He's seen people die. He's killed people. He knows all about real life-not like Naruto with his stupid enthusiasm and optimism. Sasuke is an adult, damn it.
But he's still waiting for his brother to tell him there's been some sort of mistake.
Roundabout
Sasuke would never know that everything Itachi had ever done, he had done for his brother.
Sasuke would never know what it felt like to grow up without their father ever acknowledging him. Their father was dead and so Sasuke could pretend somewhere inside that maybe their father would have liked him now instead of only looking to him when he was on the outs with Itachi. Maybe their father would have been saying "Why couldn't Itachi have been like you?" and smiling at him instead. Would have seen him at all. And, perhaps more importantly, Sasuke would never know what it felt like to have their father notice him. To be told that people didn't matter, only power and ambition and prestige. Itachi didn't know which was worse. He had to protect his little brother. Their father was dead.
And Sasuke would always have Itachi to overcome. He would never be weak, never need to find a reason to exist like so many people. He would never have to wonder why he should grow strong or fight or live, never have to wonder like Itachi had. Sasuke had a good reason to grow strong.
It didn't concern Itachi that Sasuke might kill him. When Sasuke finally managed that, then Itachi would know his brother was strong enough not to need him anymore.
Itachi taught Sasuke to be strong, to depend on himself, and, in a roundabout way, gave him those lessons that Sasuke was always begging for. After all, he certainly had the knack for ninja techniques now. It was Itachi that motivated him, even if he didn't personally give those lessons.
Itachi was a good brother. He killed Sasuke's family and tortured him with the Sharingan and threatened his friends. He was the boogeyman in every shadow and the determination behind every thrown kunai and new technique. Sasuke hated his brother.
Itachi just wished that Sasuke could know that he still loved him.
Ask Not
Everyone always wanted something from him. Obediance, talent, influence, power, attention. They all clamored at him "Give me this, give me that" until it all degenerated into childish "gimme, gimme, gimme" in his ears. They didn't care what he wanted. They didn't care what he was capable of giving or would voluntarily give. They never asked.
They never thought of what they might do in return.
And then they were mad that he wouldn't, or couldn't, give them everything of himself. He was running out and stretched, and it hurt. He was so damn tired.
And he was angry. Didn't he deserve something too?
Even his little brother was always wanting things from him. He hardly ever asked though. He didn't ask Itachi to come to his first day at the academy or take him along to watch Itachi train. He never asked Itachi to promise to train him. Maybe that was why Itachi liked him the best. Sometimes it was "Please, brother, you said you'd help me train with shuriken" or "You said you'd help me today but you never do." Itachi had volunteered, even if he did end up saying no. Sasuke was resentful when Itachi said no, just like all the rest. But he didn't try to hurt Itachi for saying it.
And finally Itachi thought I'll give them all what they want. They'll never ask things of me again. I'll be free.
Then he thought, Maybe I will let Sasuke ask and maybe I will let him live. Because, really, Sasuke didn't ask for much.
Degrees of Darkness
Itachi is one sick bastard and he's proud of it. There's something twisted inside of him and he takes pride in the things he's done.
It's one of the reasons Akatsuki knows he belongs with them and were happy to have him. They appreciate the fact that he's proud of torturing people like Hatake Kakashi and murdering old people and his whole family.
They don't know the half of it.
Itachi is proud of killing his family. It wasn't as hard as he had thought it would be. It was much harder that first time; harder to take the first step and kill Shishou. Shishou knew what he was doing and why, even if his family never did. He's proud that he killed him. It was Shishou's death that made Itachi aware that he really could kill his family. He's proud of how he grew and that he was able to do it. He knows it's terrible and the more terrible it is, the more proud of himself he is.
In point of fact, Akatsuki think that murdering his family is really the spectacular part. That's the thing that they think is the worst that he's done. That's the proof of how ruthless he is, even if he was weak enough to leave his little brother alive.
They don't know the most terrible thing he's ever done though. His masterpiece. Itachi likes grand dramatic gestures but he can also be subtle when he wants to be. He gets pleasure out of manipulating and twisting and creating horrible things.
Sasuke lives and remembers every day what Itachi has done. He burns with all the negative feelings Itachi has caused, burns with those dark and twisted emotions that Itachi loves. He will willingly become something horrible, something unforgiveable in order to have his revenge. And the thing Itachi is most proud of is what he's created in his brother.
Rockabye
Somehow she had always been Sasuke's mother, not Itachi's.
When Itachi was born, he was a large baby and she had been such a small, delicate person that it had almost killed her. By the time the medic nins had gotten her stabilized and she was recovered enough to take an interest, her husband had already handed Itachi off to nurses and nannies and tutors. Fugaku Uchiha told her it was better this way; Itachi was the heir and she would never be able to coddle him anyway.
When she was finally alone she went immediately to the nursery and looked at her sleeping baby. He was perfectly clean and dressed in a cheery blue baby gown but somehow there was still an air about the room that spoke of only duty towards the child and nothing more. Gingerly, almost afraid, she leaned over the cradle. With one finger she smoothed the little bit of black fuzzy baby hair on his head and then felt the shape of his tightly curled fist. At this, he opened his eyes and saw her for the first time. He didn't cry or try to snuggle; just stared at her with unfathomable eyes that seemed unusual in an infant. She wanted to pick him up but she was still weak and she was afraid too-afraid that she would drop him or that he would cry and her husband would want to know why she had felt the need to make sure that the servants were taking care of him. So she just watched Itachi and Itachi watched her back. As she watched him his eyes seemed to change. And his mother knew that it was too late; somehow already her child didn't need her. He just needed someone to feed him and provide for him until he could do it for himself. But he did not need a mother.
She tried though to be a good mother anyway. She tried to give him snacks and offer him hugs but Itachi had always looked at her like he would look at any stranger and then he had run back to his tutors. What did he care for the woman that played no part in his life except to offer him sweets that he didn't like and hugs that he didn't need?
She loved him anyway. She stuck his report cards on the fridge even though he graduated the academy so early that there were never many. She sewed his clothes and tucked him in at night after he fell asleep-he wouldn't let her if he was awake-and she told all of her friends and relatives how wonderful he was. He never seemed to care that she was proud of him though.
When Sasuke was born she was so relieved because this child did need her, did love her, had a life that she could share. She held him when he cried and sang to him and rocked him until Fugaku complained that if she didn't put the boy down, he would never learn to walk.
She tried not to forget about the boy that didn't want her, didn't love her. She tried to include him and tried to keep her two boys united as a strong family. But Itachi just looked at her with those same eyes that saw her as alien somehow.
And as she lay dying, knowing that her son had killed her, she thought of her two beautiful boys-her smart, talented, wonderful Itachi and her sensitive, bright, fabulous Sasuke. She thought of what their futures would be like now that Itachi had killed everyone. And wondered how it might have been different if she'd been able to hold both of her babies.
Author's Note: These are my first Naruto fics ever. I really hope you liked them. Please review and let me know what you liked or what I could fix. :)