A/N: Helllloooo~! This was highly inspired (and kind of requested) by the amazing JarOfBittersweets. She rocks. Leave now and go read her fanfiction instead.

Apparently, she knows a guy that looks a lot like William, but doesn't act like him at all. I guess that he's also kind of creepy.

The William in this fanfic is based off of that guy.

She also requested that Will was drunk, and there was duct tape involved.

I did my best to meet all of her requests.

I hope you like it, dear!

This is also my first time writing in this perspective. Please be gentle with me.

There are so many tense changes in this on purpose. William is practically telling a story in present-tense of something that happened the night before.

One more thing...

THIS CONTAINS GRELLIAM! I'M SO SORRY! I JUST COULDN'T HELP MYSELF! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

~And with that said, let this epic tale begin...!~

(HAAAZAR!)

...

"Come on, darling. Let me buy you a drink." I looked up to find a certain shark toothed redhead smiling down at me. His cheeks were flushed, and he looked like he could collapse at any moment.

"No thank you, Sutcliff. I have to be the one to drive you all hom-" but it was to late for convincing. Grell was already up at the bar, ordering some ridiculously complicated sounding alcoholic beverage that he would make me drink whether I liked it or not.

I sighed and looked around the room. As usual, Alan was falling asleep on Eric's lap, Undertaker was sitting at the bar with his head on the counter, giggling, and Ronald was flirting with some random girls. The only difference was that they were all a little bit tipsy.

I didn't mean for this to get so out of hand. I allowed the five to throw a little 'party' at Eric and Alan's flat. I hadn't intended on being dragged out of the comfort of the Shinigami Realm to go barhopping in the Living World at 2:00 A.M.

"Here." I was brought back to reality by the sound of glass hitting the table in front of me. "Drink up!"

I looked up and glared at Grell. "As I said, I can't drink. I have to drive you home."

Grell wasn't hearing any excuses. "Oh, William. Don't be such a killjoy. It's just one drink."

I glared harder. "Fine. One drink. That's it."

So, I drank it. Somehow, one drink turned into two, then four, and before I knew it 7 empty glasses were strewn across the table. I never drank this much when I was out. I had to be in the comfort of my own home, assured that there was a bed for me to crash in, and a toilet for me to eject my guts into the next morning.

But, somehow, Grell did it. He always manages to make me do something stupid when I'm in the same room as him.

I tried to focus on the annoying redhead, but the room was spinning and all of the colorful lights in the bar were starting to give me a headache. "Why did I let you do this to me?"

"I have no idea. Why did you?" he gave me a sly look from across the table. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to smack that idiotic grin off of his face.

Or kiss it. That would suffice, too, considering how drunk I was.

In fact, the longer I glared at him, the more tempting that thought became. He looked quite pretty in low-light.

The moment that thought crossed my mind was the moment I realized that I had to get away from him before I did something that I might regret. I stood up, a task that seemed far more difficult than it should've been. "Well, I have to go before I shag you."

I saw Grell's eyes go wide and his face turn bright red. I slapped my hand to my face in embarrassment as I realized what exactly I had said. I have a tendency to speak my mind when I get tipsy. "Eh, sorry about that. I think I just need a little rest, that's all."

Grell nodded slowly. Apparently, what I said shocked him. I don't blame him. It shocked me, too. "Hey," I said waving my hand in front of his face, "Are you quite alright? You don't look well. Do you feel ill? Would you like something to drink? Perhaps something non-alcoholic?" I tried my damnedest to lure his mind away from any thoughts of me actually shagging him. Not that I, William T. Spears, use the term 'shagging' often.

God, I was so drunk.

I had to get out of there before the after-effect came and I started getting giggly.

"I-I'm fine!" Grell stuttered.

Unbelievable. When I say something completely un-suggestive, he turns it into a euphemism, but when I outright say that I was actually contemplating bedding him, he's speechless.

Honestly.

I headed for the doors. For the umpteenth time, I needed to get out of there as fast as huma- REAPERLY possible. I turned around to face him, but continued walking backward towards the double doors. "I'm really, really sorry." I mouthed to him.

I never thought that I would, no, COULD say, "I'm sorry." to Grell so many times in one night. But, this time, he actually deserved my apology. What I said was highly inappropriate, and...

And then he snapped out of his shock and gave me a seductive grin. "What've you to be sorry about? You're welcome to 'shag' me anytime~" he mouthed back. He didn't even say it, yet I could still hear him saying it in my head.

I got a cold chill and all of the color drained out of my face. This wasn't on the clock. Right then, I wasn't Grell's boss. I was his equal. That thought alone scared the hell out of me.

If Grell could get away with so many flirtatious comments and suggestive gestures when I was his boss, imagine what he could've done to me then. Grell may look cute, but just because a lion looks cute, doesn't mean you should stick your cranium in it's mouth.

That was in no way a reference to Sebastian Michaelis or what he did at the circus.

Okay, maybe it was.

I hurried out the doors, slamming them shut behind me. Once I was out, I almost toppled over into the street. I had to get home, I had to wash up, I had to lay down...

For Christ's sake, I had WORK in the morning!

Oh, wait. Never mind. It was Saturday night. Or Sunday morning. Whichever you prefer.

I stumbled drunkenly down the side-walk. Why was it so freezing out? Couldn't they just turn up the furnace a little? Oh right. I was outside.

Where was my flat again? I would just have to use my house in the Living World tonight. Lord knows what would've happened if I tried to phase home in that condition.

I giggled randomly.

Oh great. Here we go with the giggling.

That small giggle turned into full out laughter. If I could go back and punch myself in the face, I would. I laughed so hard, that whilst trying to walk, I stepped on a crack in the pavement and fell on my face.

"Ooooowwwwww..." I groaned. Believe it or not, that actually really hurt. I tried to get up, but failed miserably. My legs felt like jelly.

A woman drove by and rolled down her window. "Sir?" she shouted in a concerned tone, "Are you alright?"

"What about me being too white?" I groaned angrily with my face still on the ground. "You racist, bitch?"

Looking back, this is all very embarrassing.

"Excuse me?" she sounded offended. I picked my head up and looked at her. Instead of responding to her, or apologizing, I looked her in the eyes and gave her a really weird sounding, uncontrollable laugh. She looked at me like I had eaten a bowl of crazy flakes for breakfast.

Which wasn't too far from the truth.

Except, instead of crazy flakes, it was rum, and instead of breakfast, it was dinner.

She then proceeded to roll up her window and drive away. I lied on my stomach with my chin on the concrete so that I was looking straight forward. "FINE!" I screamed after her, "RUN AWAY FROM THE TRUTH! LIVE IN YOUR PETTY WORLD OF LIIIIIIEEEEES!" by the time I got to the word 'lies', my voice was less of a scream and more of a demonic whisper.

The only thing I have to say for myself is that it must've made sense in my mind at the time.

Coincidently, Sebastian just so happened to walk by. It looked as if he was trying to recognize me. "Will?" he asked questioningly.

I looked up at him with a surprised, yet overjoyed expression on my face. "Thomas?" I sounded like a child opening gifts on Christmas morning. "Thomas, is that you?"

"Uhhhhh, Will, are you o-"

I rudely cut him off with a fit of sobbing. "T-Thomas! I'm so sorry I killed you!" I magically gained the ability to stand up. Sadly, I used this newfound power carelessly, and for some god-forsaken reason, draped myself all over him, kind of like Grell does.

Just for the record, I did not kill Thomas Wallis. I merely reaped his soul (with a little help from my redheaded companion, of course).

We also did not have a 'bromance', as Eric likes to call it.

I cried into the demon's shoulder and muttered something that, due to my sobbing, was unintelligible.

"Umm, William? What the hell is wrong with you?" Sebastian asked, dumbly, in my opinion. We were so close, yet he could not smell the alcohol on my breath. Some demon he is.

I pulled back and firmly grabbed his shoulders. I looked him in the eyes, and giggled really creepily.

He finally realized that it was in his best interest to leave me alone and run away. Which he did. Well, he didn't exactly run. It was more like fast-walking.

I didn't bother chasing him. Instead, I yelled, "Hey, Thomas! Can I have yo numbah?" this made him walk faster. "Can I have it!"

Finally, Sebastian was out of sight. I merely shrugged and continued on my merry way home.

...

Well, at least I thought this was my home. Me, Grell, Ronald, Eric, and Alan were all neighbors in the Living World. It was hard for me to find my way anywhere in this state. I figured, 'Hey, if this isn't my house, I'm sure one of the guys from work won't mind me crashing on their couch.'

I stumbled up to the door, trying not to fall in the process, and let myself in. Surprisingly, it was unlocked. I swung the door open with all the grace of a vulture. I stumbled into the apartment, and immediately tripped on a shoe.

"What was that?" I heard a woman's voice say from another room.

"Probably just a drunk neighbor. Don't worry about it." came...

Ronald's voice?

Ahh, so I was in Mr. Knox's quarters.

Knowing this, I tried to walk to the room where I had heard the voices, but not without knocking into a few things on the way. Once I finally managed to reach the door, I decided to make my presence known by scraping my nails down the wood.

I heard the girl scream, and at the time, I had no clue why. "I've got this." I heard Knox say to her. I waited a minute for him to open the door, but then got tired of waiting, so I opened it and-

BANG!

I was hit right in the face with an umbrella. I fell backwards, hitting my head on a wall, which I then promptly slid down. I groaned in pain. "Owwwwww. What the bloody hell was that for?"

"William-senpai? Is that you?" Ronald asked dumbly.

"No. It's the president of the United States. I came all the way to London to see you, Ronald." I'm still not sure if I was being sarcastic, or if I actually thought that I was the president of the USA.

"Oh my god. You're drunk, aren't you?" Ronald put a hand on his hip and smirked.

"Only slightly..." I mumbled with a yawn.

"Can't you go home?" Ronald pleaded, "I have a girl over."

"Trust me, I would go home if I could. But I can't... Cause' I don't know where I live." I started giggling like a moron.

Ronald looked flabbergasted. I'm guessing it's probably because I laughed. He sighed and brought a hand to his face in frustration (and just for the record, it was his own hand). "Fine. I guess you can stay here for the night, but you have to sleep on the couch, and STAY OUT OF MY ROOM. Got it?"

"Oh, thank you very much M-Mr. Lloyd. I don't r-remember you being so friendly back in the war."

Honestly, I have no idea where that came from, or why I said it in a horrible southern American accent.

Anyway, I stood up and trudged back into the living room. Collapsing on the couch, I shut my eyes and tried to clear my mind so that I could sleep. Unfortunately, this task seemed impossible to complete, as I could not get to sleep no matter how hard I tried.

After about half an hour, I finally said, 'Screw it.' and went to go see what Ronald was up to. I completely forgot that he told me not to enter his room. Before I even got a chance to knock, the door was already open and Ronald was glaring up at me. 'He must of heard my footsteps.' I thought. 'Or maybe he's a stalker that traces my every step OHMYGOD.'

Again, ladies and gentlemen, I was unbelievably drunk.

"What do you want?" Ronald hissed at me through clenched teeth.

"QUIT STALKING ME YOU CREEP!" I then threw a couch cushion at him and ran away. Ronald only closed the door with a completely neutral expression on his face.

I bugged them several times throughout the hour. One of those times, Merissa mentioned having a cramp, and I said that I would cut it out for her. Both Ronald and Merissa laughed, but I did not. I supposed that this severely creeped them out, and that's when they decided to lock their door.

After that, everything was fine for them. That is until they heard some weird noise and came out to investigate.

That noise was me singing 'Shut Up and Sleep with Me' while strewn across the couch drinking scotch straight from the bottle. "I love... your body... not so much... I like your- Oh! Hello, love!"

Ronald stared at me in horror. I only gave him a smile and held the bottle out to him. "Want some?"

Merissa had her hand over her mouth and nose to keep from snorting, while Ronald's expression of horror turned into one of rage. "That's it!" he stomped out of the room.

Merissa and I exchanged questioning glances. We heard him cursing under his breath about how his stupid boss was ruining his chances with Merissa.

Merissa, in the mean time, didn't seem to be minding me at all. In fact, she entertained herself by playing with my hair.

Ronald came back into the room holding what looked to be a roll of duct tape.

That couldn't be good.

...

About thirty minutes and a roll of tape later, Ronald had successfully duct taped my to the wall upside-down by my feet. He and Merissa then decided to laugh about it for a good ten minutes before retreating back into their room.

I sat in complete silence for what seemed like ages, just dangling there with nothing to say. Suddenly, I heard a clicking noise. I looked over to find moonlight flooding in through the now-open front door. In the doorway stood a black figure. Being the drunken idiot I was, I thought something along the lines of, 'Doesn't Santa usually come in through chimneys? In winter?'

"Hello?" a recognizable, tipsy sounding voice whispered. It wasn't Santa, it was Sutcliff.

"Good morning, darling." I mumbled sleepily.

It was silent for a moment. "William?" Grell said hesitantly. He entered the house and turned on a lamp. He searched around for a minute, until he finally found me in the last place he expected. "Oh dear. What the hell happened to you?" he slurred.

"Lloyd duct taped me to the wall." I explained.

Without another word, Grell searched around the room for a pair of scissors. Finding one that he assumed good enough, he cut the duct tape, and I fell on the floor with a thud. "Owww."

"Oops!" he helped me up, though it was evident that he was having a difficult time not falling over himself, "I'm sorry, honey!"

"It's fine." I rubbed my head and leaned against the wall for support.

"What are you doing here?" he looked up at me curiously.

"I needed a place to crash. I can't find my house, and I'm sure that if I did, I wouldn't have the key needed to enter it."

"That's what he said." Grell said with a wide grin.

I stared at him blankly for a second before snorting. We both started laughing, but whether it was at Grell's stupid joke, or if it was just because we were both hammered was unknown.

I looked at Grell laughing and was reminded of when we were just a couple kids fresh out of the academy. We use to do things like this all the time. I even remember several occasions where after we were kicked out of a bar, we would just slow dance in the middle of the street without any shoes on, no matter how hard rain was pouring outside.

I smiled at him. We use to be such good friends. We still are, I think.

After Grell was done laughing so hard he started to tear up, he wrapped his arms around my neck and drunkenly purred, "I'm sure you don't want to sleep in here on a couch. How about you just stay at my place for the night?"

And surprisingly, I actually went with him.

...

And this brings me to where I am now. Lying in Grell's bed, naked.

I knew it was going to happen from the moment I said that I wanted to shag him. And, well, I did.

Three times, to be exact.

And the third time, I was back into my senses and fully aware of what I was doing and how much I would regret it later.

And, surprisingly, I don't regret it at all.

Things happen.

Plus, it's not like we've never done this before. We've been together for over 200 years, some things were bound to happen along the way.

And as I lay here now, stroking Grell's long silky hair, I can assure you of one thing...

I will never drink again.

...

A/N: So, how was it? To be perfectly honest, I actually liked this one.

I'm sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes! I have nobody to proofread for me, so I just do it myself.

Oh, I have something to say.

I am very sorry that I do not get back to everybody's reviews. It always just slips my mind. It isn't because I don't care, and I do read every review I get! I appreciate every letter of every comment (they make me dance around in joy)!

I thought that I just had to state this because I went back through some reviews on some of my stories, and I just realized how many of them say, "I love you!" and, "Please write more!", and, "This is awesome!" (and also, "I am laughing my ass off right now". That one is one of my favorites. I love to make people laugh!)

And to be honest, I almost cried out of joy.

So, this goes out to all of the reviews on all of my stories that I never replied to, all of the anonymous people that have reviewed, and all of the people that have even read what I write: Thank you all so much! Your comments mean the world to me! They inspire me to write more, and sometimes, they even make me cry... Tears of joy, of course. They always brighten up my day. Even the fact that anybody reads this crap never ceases to amaze me. I hope you all continue to read and enjoy my stories! I love you all!