J.K. owns it ALL!
Lav-Lav and Won-Won
Ron and Lavender were snogging in the common room again when Hermione entered.
"This has to end!" Hermione said. "I have to break them up. That's my red-head she's snogging."
"Ron, what is wrong with you!" Lavender said to her boyfriend angrily, coming up to him in the library where he was studying with Ron and Hermione.
"What did I do?" Ron asked, confused.
"Don't act stupid! Those chocolates you left for me were bewitched to bite me when I picked them up!"
"But.. I didn't leave you any chocolates!"
"Don't lie to me, Ron Weasley!" And she slapped him across the face.
That evening in the common room, they were snogging again in the corner.
Hermione felt a surge of jealousy rise in her chest.
So she forgave him, did she?
Let's see what she says about the next gift.
The next morning, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny were sitting at the Gryffindor table, eating breakfast and trying not to pay attention to the nasty squelching noise Ron and Lavender were making as they kissed.
Then the morning mail owls flew into the Hall. One landed in front of Lavender, holding a bouquet of daises in its claws.
The couple broke apart and Lavender read the card that was attached to the flowers.
"Oh Won-Won" she squealed. "You remembered that daisies are my favorite!"
She picked up the flowers and breathed in the fresh scent, and while her face was still embedded in the bouquet, each petal turned into bee, and they swarmed around her head as she screamed.
"Ron, how could you? You know I'm allergic." she shrieked.
Later on, Hermione passed by the Hospital Wing where Lavender was resting after her scare with the bees.
Ron was sitting next to her on her bed, snogging her swollen lips. It obviously didn't bother him that his girlfriend's face looked like an over inflated red balloon.
"Shoot!" Hermione cursed, and began thinking of another gift.
Hermione entered her dormitory and placed a box on Lavender's bed, and waited until Lavender came up to go to bed.
Lavender came up an hour later, released from the Hospital wing and her face looking back to normal.
"Oooh, what's this?" Lavender said as she saw the box.
Hermione shrugged, turning a page in her book. "It was here when I came up."
"To Lav-Lav." She read the card. "My love for you is so great that it can only be rivaled by that of something else that's also really big. "
"Awww" Lavender sighed, pulling the gift toward her and beginning to unwrap it.
Hermione rolled her eyes.
"AHHHH!" Lavender through the box off her lap and onto the floor. A blast-ended skrewt crawled out and turned its back end toward her. It exploded, and caused a nasty burn on Lavender's bare arm.
The next morning, Lavender came down to breakfast with her arm bandaged up.
"Why on earth did you give me a blast-ended skrewt!"
"What?" Ron said.
"But I loved your note, it was really sweet...kiss me, Ronald!"
Hermione banged her head on the table.
There was only one thing left to do.
When the post owls arrived the next day, a barn owl swooped down and landed in front of Lavender, clutching a red envelope in its claws. It dropped the letter in her cereal and the letter started smoking.
"Oh no!" Lavender said. "A howler!"
Hermione had to do a complex voice changing charm so she could make this howler, but she knew it was going to be well worth it.
Suddenly it burst apart and Ron's voice echoed around the Great Hall.
"Lavender, I am officially breaking up with you. I was giving you those horrible gifts so you would want to break up with me, and so it wouldn't come to this. But it did come to this, so here goes. I don't love you, and I hate when you call me Won-Won. It makes me want to throw up everytime you say it. So I hope you have a good life, and go out with some other guys... I think that guy's checking you out over there.." The howler ended just as Ron entered the hall. Everyone's eyes followed him as he made his way to the Gryffindor table for breakfast. Lavender stood up as he came over.
"Hey guys." He nodded at Harry and Hermione. "Hey, Lavender, how's your arm?"
Angry tears were falling from her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Ron asked uncertainly.
Lavender walked over to him, then kicked him where the sun don't shine.
As Ron doubled over in pain, Lavender hissed in his ear,"Don't talk to me ever again!" before stalking angrily away.
"Ron, are you alright, mate?" Harry asked, concerned.
"Yes, I'm fine." Ron said pulling himself onto the bench. "I just don't understand what just happened."
"Well, maybe it's for the best," Hermione said. "There's probably somebody out there just right for you, maybe she's even sitting at this very table."
"And how do you know Lavender wasn't right for me?" Ron said angrily.
"C'mon, Ron, all she wanted to do was snog you," Harry said.
"And why is that a bad thing?"
"My god, Ron, why are you so stupid?" Hermione stood up from the table. "You were just a fling for her! She doesn't really love you!"
"How do you know that?" Ron glared, also standing.
'Because I love you!"
"What?" Ron looked stunned.
"You're so stupid! Come here!" Ron walked obediently over to her.
Hermione stood on her tiptoes and kissed Ron on the lips. He ran his hands along her back and embraced her tighter.
Harry cleared his throat."Ah, guys?" he poked Ron in the side.
"Don't get too crazy, you're in the middle of the Great Hall, remember. There are first years around."
They broke apart and Harry pulled them back down onto their seats so people would stop staring.
Hermione leaned toward Ron and whispered in his ear,"Now, did Lavender ever kiss you like that?"
Her warm breath sent tingles down his spine. He shook his head.
Hermione kissed him again, and thought, I finally got my man!
Then Hermione got up from the table saying, "I'm going to be late for Arithmancy. See you later tonight, Ronald." She gave him a wink.
She brushed her hand over Ron's hair and left.
"Wow..." Ron said, staring dreamily after the bushy haired girl. "I don't know what just happened, but I'm glad it happened."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, it was about time you two got together. I was beginning to think you would never catch on, Ron."
Ron just stared at the doors that Hermione had disappeared through and sighed happily.
Oooh, Hermione was so bad. Poor Lavender. Review please! Was it Okay? I know Hermione was acting unlike herself, but hey, she was desperate! I'm sure everybody knows what I'm talking about. When the person you love doesn't catch on, and ignores you? Yeah, that's what I thought. *sigh* Love is a beautiful thing. Painful sometimes, but beautiful.