This is my first venture in JA fanfic so be free to let me know what you think. Also I've only seen until about season three so I'm relying on episode guides to fill me in until I can see the rest. I'm basing this kind of around the start of sixth season but I haven't even seen David but already don't think I'll much like him. Sorry for inaccuracies. I'm a big Bramy fan since the second I saw them together. This is a Bramy friendship plus possibly more! The content of this story is pure fiction and I don't wish these things on the characters, it's just a story. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Nobody associated with the show has any part or knowledge of this story etc
Crises:
"Good morning Judge Grey. What a lovely Wednesday morning!" Bruce waltzed into Amy's office, two coffees in hand, smiling and a little too enthusiastic for this early in the day.
"Good morning Bruce. Thanks. Think I need a bucket of coffee. Feel like I haven't slept"
"If you don't mind me saying, you look awful. Maybe you should go home" Bruce had noticed for weeks that Amy looked pale and seemed always tired. She looked at her hunched over her desk, rings under her eyes. She'd lost some weight too, he'd noticed.
"I'll be ok Bruce. Thanks for the concern. Got some blood taken yesterday so the doc will probably just tell me to eat more fruit and a big steak and I'll be fine"
"Well I know there's no use trying to convince you once you've made up your mind."
Bruce sat on the edge of her desk and smiled at her. Amy was always comforted by his friendly smile. It always made her think that somebody cared.
"Alright then, we start in five" Bruce stood up and plonked some files he was holding in front of Judge Grey.
Amy got up to put on her robe. When she stood up her head felt like it had turned into a block of ice. A curtain drew down over her vision and she felt her body brush past the edge of the desk.
Bruce saw Amy's face turn white. Her eyes rolled in her head. He dived towards her and just about stopped her smacking her head on the floor. He cradled her head in his arm for a second. Her skin was cold and clammy. She was breathing though. Bruce shouted towards the door for help.
A passing clerk heard his screams and ran in. "I'll dial 911", he said.
It all happened so fast. Amy went down like a ton of bricks. Bruce's heart stopped for a brief second. He'd seen his daughter have a fit before and this was just the same fear he felt right now.
The clerk ran over towards Bruce. "They'll be here as soon as they can"
"Why don't you go out the front and direct them in?"
"Good idea", he said and jogged off out the door.
"Judge Grey?" Bruce brushed Amy's hair off her face and took a second to stroke her cheek. Amy began to stir a bit. She didn't open her eyes or talk. She just rolled slightly, enough to reassure Bruce she was coming around a bit.
Amy made small movements for the next ten minutes but didn't come around until she was in the ambulance. Bruce sat next to her, while the paramedic checked the equipment attached to her. Amy opened her eyes a little. She could just make out Bruce beside her. For a moment she thought she was still in her office. Her head hurt and her eyes were still blurry. She felt Bruce's hand on her arm, gently rubbing up and down.
"Judge Grey?" Bruce noticed Amy's eyes opening.
"Bruce. What happened?"
"You passed out. You'll be ok. They're just bringing you in to check you over."
"I just remember going cold."
"Don't worry. You'll be well taken care of." Bruce was very good at passing out optimism but wasn't fully able to convince himself. "If you wanted a day in bed you should just said," Bruce said trying to lighten the mood.
Amy laughed, though it hurt, and the paramedic tried to pull her oxygen mask back over her mouth.
Three hours later Amy sat up in her hospital bed, feeling rather silly as she felt quite well now. She had fluid through the line in her arm and was instructed to stay in bed.
Bruce sat in the chair next to her bed, trying to figure out the remote for the TV. Amy thought how adorable he looked, trying to get it to work by banging it off his knee. "Stop that" she thought. They were supposed to be colleagues and at most friends so no use thinking he was 'adorable'.
"Thanks for staying with me. You didn't have to."
"That's alright. My boss is out today," he said smiling at her. Bruce put the remote away and turned his chair towards Amy. "Look Judge Grey. I really got a fright when you collapsed. A million things went through my head. I'm so glad you're okay."
Amy smiled at how sweet he was to her. He could really be so sensitive when he allowed himself. Bruce never liked to let his guard down around Amy. But no matter how he tried she usually saw through him. Amy thought how a day wasn't complete if she didn't have a fall-out with Bruce and by the day they made up and in the process had usually learned something about each other and in that way they became closer with each passing day.
"I'm just glad you were there," she said.
"Do you want me to call your mom?"
"Hell no! She'll just fuss around, annoying the doctors. Anyway she's busy at work. I'll be fine. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. Not that I don't want you to stay. I do. You're good company."
"I want to stay. Make sure they treat you right."
"Wow. Maybe it's you that I should be worried fussing around," Amy said laughing.
At that moment a young doctor walked in the door. She was an attractive, thirty-ish lady with beautiful dark skin. "Excuse me Ms. Grey. I'm doctor Burns. I hope I'm not disturbing you but I need to talk to you about something."
The doctor began to pull up a chair next to the bed. Couldn't be too good if she's sitting down to tell her this. "Is this your husband?" The doctor asked, looking at Bruce.
"No. This is my friend Bruce." Amy answered nervously, looking over at Bruce. He noticed something like fear in Judge Grey's eyes. This was something he rarely saw in this strong woman who made tough decisions every day.
"We might talk in privacy then, Ms. Grey?"
"Is it bad? What is it?" Amy was sounding very worried now. She looked at Bruce for support.
Bruce lightly held her fingers, not wanting to overstep his boundaries. "I can wait outside Amy." He said her name without even realising it. He was too concerned about Amy right now to notice his slip.
"Will you stay?" Amy looked at him. She was more vulnerable than he had ever seen before. "Please...I mean if you don't mind?"
"Of course I'll stay." Bruce allowed his hand to grip Amy's ever so slightly more as a sign of support. Bruce sat back down in the chair next to Amy's bed.
"Well Ms. Grey," the doctor said firmly looking down at her chart as if looking for a place to start. "Your family doctor sent away blood the other day because you were complaining of tiredness. On examination he found a swelling in your neck and mentioned some bruising on your legs. Is that correct?"
"Yes. He said he wouldn't know much until the bloods came back."
"That's right. Well the blood count and blood film came back this morning. They showed some abnormalities. We would like to do some more tests."
"But do you have some idea what it is?"
"We won't know for sure until we carry out some more tests." The doctor could see that this answer would not satisfy Amy."
"But you look like you have your suspicions. What is it?" Amy was not getting angry, just nervous.
The doctor straightened up in her chair and looked Amy in the eyes. "The blood count showed abnormality in the white blood cells. Consistent with our physical exam the film showed some cells that are characteristic of Hodgkin's Lymphoma."
Amy's hand tightened around Bruce's. Bruce felt like he had lost all feeling in his body. He now held Amy's hand with both his hands. He looked at her. She was staring blankly at the bed sheets. Any remaining colour had drained from her face. In her very quietest voice she asked the doctor how sure she was.
"About ninety five percent! We would like to do an MRI of your chest and abdomen and your neck and a bone marrow biopsy..." Amy heard very little of what the doctor was saying. Bruce said nothing but tried to take in what the doctor was saying. "...I've talked to the oncologist. If the diagnosis is confirmed, we would like you to start chemotherapy on Monday. The oncologist will come and talk to you about that." The doctor stopped, realising that Amy was barely listening. "Have you any questions?"
"Not that I can think of. Thank you."
"If you need to talk to me ask the nurse. I'll be around later. You should rest now."
Amy was in pure shock. She watched the doctor leave the room.
Bruce felt Amy stiffen. He stood up next to the bed and noticed a single tear rolling down her face. Bruce knew there was nothing he say to her to make her feel any better right now. He gently turned her face to look at him. When her face met his, her lip began to quiver and she couldn't stop herself. She began to sob, inconsolably. Bruce pulled her into his arms. She sobbed against his chest. She put an arm around his waist and gripped tightly at his shirt. He held her body with one arm and held her head in the other. He buried his face into the top of her hair, not wanting her to see tears fall from his eyes.
Bruce didn't know how much time had passed because he just held Amy for what seemed like an eternity until she fell off to sleep. He sat next to her looking at her lying there so peacefully except for her eyes which were so swollen from crying. Bruce tried to imagine how Amy must have been feeling. Such an enormous burden was just dropped on her. He knew however that Amy was one of the strongest people he knew. Sometimes not always outwardly but he knew her better than that.
Amy began to stir in the bed. She had not been asleep more than ten minutes but the news had probably just zapped the last morsel of strength from her. She opened her eyes to look at Bruce. He still held her hand, not caring right now about its appropriateness.
"Hey there!" Bruce said quietly. "I thought you'd sleep longer than that."
"Didn't even realise I'd dosed off," Amy said not realising how silly that sounded.
"Is there anything I can do for you? Will I ring your mom or..." he hesitated to say it, "...or David or somebody."
"Maybe ma? I don't know what to say to her." Amy tangled the bed sheets around one of her fingers tensely.
"If you like I could fill her in when she comes. I know it's hard to find the words sometimes." Amy rarely heard Bruce talk in such a sensitive tone, yet it didn't sound like a pity tone. He was genuinely concerned. He was such a good friend.
"Thanks. That might help." Amy stopped. It looked as if all those imposing thoughts were entering her head again. Tears welled but she fought them back and managed a pseudo-smile. "Thank you for staying with me Bruce. You don't have to stay."
"I wanted to. That is, if I'm not being too presumptuous." Bruce tried to gently slip his hand out of Amy's, thinking that maybe Amy would be uncomfortable, but Amy held on tighter.
Bruce thought how vulnerable Amy looked lying in that hospital bed in a gown. He wished that he could just pull her into his arms and tell her everything would be alright but he knew that he couldn't do that.
An hour later Amy could see Maxine through the window in the door, interrogating a doctor outside Amy's room. "I'll go talk to your mom," Bruce said, giving Amy's hand a little stroke before letting go. "Back in a moment."
Amy could see Bruce talking to her mother. He put a hand on her shoulder. Amy felt so lucky to have so many people around her who cared and who would help her through this crisis. She was lucky to have Bruce.
Bruce watched through the window as Maxine ran into the room and embraced Amy. Bruce felt as thought he was imposing so he went in search of some coffee.
When Bruce returned a little bit later he saw Maxine pacing up and down the room. Amy was sitting over the side of the bed, a little brighter, but still with very heavy eyes.
Maxine saw him outside the room and beckoned him in.
Both Bruce and Maxine stood up in, leaning against the wall. "Jeez would you two sit down please." Amy was agitated.
"Why don't you go get yourself some tea ma?"
"Umm ok love. Suppose I'm no good standing around here, am I?"
"What time is it?" Amy sat bolt upright all of a sudden, accidentally letting her gown fall off her shoulder a little. Bruce looked away and instead looked at his watch.
"Three" Maxine got there before him.
"Oh my god. Lauren! She'll wonder where everyone is. They will be nobody at home.
"I can go get her if you like." Bruce offered.
"Do you have to Rebecca?" Maxine asked.
"No. She is visiting her mother for two weeks."
"Then I'll go. I'll have to pick some things up for Amy anyway." Maxine said turning to Amy "unless you plan to sit around in your gown all day." Amy suddenly noticed that the gown had fallen down slightly and quickly adjusted it.
"Okay ma. Don't tell her that anything is wrong. Just tell her they're doing tests. I don't want to worry her unless they're very sure."
"Okay dear," she said although Amy knew she disapproved of hiding the truth from her.
When Maxine had left Bruce sat down next to Amy. "Is there anything I can get you?"
"Nah. I'm fine, thanks."
"I want you to know that no matter what the tests say I'll be here for you. I know that I'm not always there for you, all the name of trying to keep our relationship purely professional..."
Amy didn't let him finish "Don't say that. You're always here when I need you for the important. You're the steady rock in my life. What would I do without you clearheaded steadiness."
"Thank you." Both were slightly embarrassed as they only usually allowed themselves to be a cold and maintained personal distance as they weren't great at maintaining themselves when they bordered on that line.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine. I don't feel sick or anything."
"And apart from physically?"
"I feel like somebody ripped my stomach out. I'm flashing between moments of emptiness and crying inconsolably in five minute rotations. I don't know what to feel." Amy felt tears well up again. "I'm sorry."
"Don't you ever apologise for the way you feel."
"What did I do to deserve this? I'm not a bad person. I'm not always the greatest. I try..." Before she could finish Bruce was at her side. He took her hand in both of his.
"Hey. Don't talk like that. You're a wonderful person. One of the best I've ever met. You did nothing to deserve this. Don't think like that. I've never met anybody like you and I doubt I ever will. You're compassionate, yet tough when you need to be. You're smart and deep and I hope you'll excuse me for saying so but goddamn pretty." Amy blushed slightly. Bruce could always make her feel better, even at a time like this. "As much as you drive me crazy sometimes it just makes me think even more that you're a fantastic person. You have a brilliant way of looking at things. You're so caring and you deserve nothing but happiness in this world. You'll work through this. Don't ever give up on this world and I'll never give up on you."
Amy was crying openly. This time not for her health but for the wonderful things that Bruce was saying to her. Nobody made her feel like this. Amy was about to respond when the young doctor from that morning entered the room.
"Ms. Grey. I'd like to introduce Dr. Carr. He's an oncologist here and he'll look after you."
The oncologist talked with Amy about the likelihood that she had Hodgkin's and what would be done if diagnosed. Amy tried to take as much in as she could.
"My team will be here in a few minutes. We're going to perform a bone marrow biopsy. Do you know what that involves?"
"No. Not really."
"We insert a needle into your pelvis through your back and then also try to get a larger sample of marrow to have a look at. I can't lie to you. This procedure is quite painful. If you like I could give you a sedative but that would take a while to work."
"Umm. That's okay. I just want to get it over with."
"Alright Ms. Grey. I'll be back in a minute."
"Would you like me to stay?" Bruce asked. He knew instinctively though that she wanted him there.
Amy nodded. "Please." Bruce saw so much in those eyes of hers. So much passion that he dreaded she might lose if she gave in. Right now there was a job at hand and he was going to help her through it.
Three doctors came in, one rolling a trolley which was covered with a drape. "If you'd like to roll onto your side towards your friend," one of the doctors said, "and we'll open the back of your gown and you keep the sheet around your waist."
Amy said nothing. She lay on her right side and Bruce pulled a chair to be right next to her. Bruce took her right hand in his left. The doctor uncovered the tray. Bruce saw very scary instruments on the tray including a long needle and what looked like a narrow drill piece. Bruce held Amy's head gently in his right hand, part for moral support and part to block out the sight of the instruments on the trolley. "It's okay," Bruce whispered, "it'll be over soon." Amy let out a very week smile.
"Okay, Miss Grey. We'll just put some local anaesthetic around your skin and then you'll feel the need go in. Try to stay still."
Bruce watched Amy's face as she grimaced as the local was going in. He then saw the doctor pick up the long needle. For the first inch Amy didn't move and then she let out a blood curdling scream. She gripped Bruce's hand so tightly. Amy openly wept. Her cries were interspersed with groans of pain. Tears soaked her pillow. She pushed her face into the pillow and was biting it in pain. Small squeaks escaped from her buried mouth.
Bruce saw the doctor lift up instrument that looked like a drill bit. "We're sorry. This is the last thing. It'll be over in a minute." The doctor carefully inserted the instrument. Amy's whole body nearly lifted off the bed and she cried out, taking her head from the pillow. Bruce could only stroke her face. He wished he could switch places with her. He felt as if it was happening to him. He was helpless, watching as someone he cared for was hurting.
The procedure eventually finished. The doctors comforted Amy but for a few minutes but little of what they said could soothe her. They left after a minutes.
Amy lay rolled up, still on her side. Bruce knew no words could make her feel better. He just put his arm around her and let her cuddle up to him. He stayed like that for over an hour until he recognised her breathing of someone asleep. Poor Amy, he thought, this has taken so much out of her. Bruce thought he'd go ring Rebecca at her mom's and say hi. As he exited the room he saw two people walking up the corridor.
Maxine and David McLaren were walking towards him.
"How is she?" David blurted out, barely looking directly at Bruce and going to open the door.
"She's sleeping. You'd best let her sleep. She needs it." Bruce said.
Without heeding him, David went in and lightly shook Amy.
"Well he really listened," Bruce said to Maxine.
"He rang looking for Amy. I had to tell him what was going on."
"Sure. I suppose I'll be crowding the place if I stay."
"You don't have to go just because he's here."
"I know. But it's getting late and Amy...I mean Judge Grey should get some rest. I'll just say goodbye." Maxine smiled to herself at Bruce's slip up.
Bruce popped his head in the door. "I'll get going. Do you need me to get anything?"
"David, could you give us a minute?" David looked surprised and almost insulted at being asked to leave. He brushed past Bruce on the way out the door but barely looked at him.
Bruce walked to the side of the bed and smiled. "I wanted to let you sleep."
Amy was trying to sit up in the bed. Bruce took her arm and helped her up. "Thank you so much Bruce. You've been the only thing that has got me through this seemingly endless day. I cannot thank you enough."
"You don't have to thank me." He gave her arm a friendly gentle squeeze.
Amy put her arms up and pulled him into a hug. "Thank you," she whispered again.
Bruce rang the hospital the next day. He was in the court and trying to sort out her cases, reassigning and redistributing. He was finding it hard to work thinking about her. They talked for a long time that evening. Bruce sent her the biggest bunch of flowers in her room. She was comforted to no ends reading his card.
On Friday, Bruce had just entered his office when the phone rang. It was Amy and she was sniffing down the phone.
"The tests were all positive," Amy blurted out. She tried not to sound like she was crying.
"I'm sorry."
"I really thought they'd say they made a mistake."
"I had hoped so too."
"I haven't told anyone yet. I think they all think that everything's going to be fine. My mom's in denial." Amy paused. "Can I see you today?"
"Of course. I'll come around this afternoon."
"Thank you. I'd better go. The doctor's coming."
"Okay. We'll talk later."
Bruce called to the hospital that afternoon. They talked things over and she felt a little better. Bruce was able to make her feel like she hadn't been handed a death sentence. She tried asking him things about work but he wasn't for telling her.
"Oh go on. Just tell me what's going on?" Amy giggled as if they were sitting arguing like they always did in the office.
"No way. Doctor's orders!"
"What doctor?"
"Well none have actually said that but they would if they knew you were trying to work."
"Go on. I can be helpful."
"Judge Grey, I order you to lie in bed." He said in his most mock authoritative voice.
"Yes sir," she said lying back. She was laughing and almost forgot her sadness for a minute. "And no more of that Judge Grey stuff. At least not for the moment," she said a little more serious but still with a sweet grin.
"Yes ma'am." Bruce sat with her for a while until again they were interrupted by David.
"Hello Mr. Van Exell," David said like they'd never met. "What brings you here?"
"I was just on my way out." Bruce turned to Amy, ignoring David. "Glad to see you a bit brighter, Amy" He smiled and gave her hand a little squeeze, not caring that David would see.
Amy squeezed his hand back. "Thank you Bruce. Talk to you later?"
"Of course." And turning to David, "Goodbye Mr. McLaren." And with that Bruce left and went home.
Amy annoyed the doctors enough that they discharged her on Saturday. She was to go on Monday for her first chemotherapy. She was to come in during the week days for this cycle. She cringed when the doctors warned her of all the side effects. Her mom held her hand, just like she did when she was little and she felt like she definitely wasn't alone in this illness.
Amy explained to Lauren about what was wrong on Saturday.
"Are you going to die mom?"
"No sweetheart. I'm getting the best treatment. Everything that can be done will be done. I can't see the future but I promise I'll never stop fighting this because I am going to see my little girl grow up."
"Can I do anything?" Lauren was trying to be strong now, an attribute she had learned from her mother.
"You can be there for me. You can give me loads of hugs and tell me you love me and that's as good as any medicine."
"Ok mom." She gave her mother the biggest hug ever.
Amy planned to send Lauren to her dad's Monday night. She didn't know what state she's be in after her chemo so she thought it best.
Bruce didn't like to intrude at Amy's home at the weekend. He rang her both mornings and she rang him both nights. Bruce drove down to see his daughter on Sunday. He was really realising how precious life was.
On Monday morning Bruce rang early to wish Amy good luck.
"Hi. How are you feeling?" Bruce asked her but not in that pitying voice that everyone else did.
"A little nervous but it hasn't really sank in. So there going to give me some medicine. I woke this morning and it felt like any other. Mom was making the noisiest cup of tea downstairs and I could her that bathroom door being slammed constantly. Just like always. It's hard to imagine that I'm getting life-saving medicine. This is going to be my life for the foreseeable future but I intend to enjoy every last bit too because I'm not letting a disease rob it from me."
"You know Amy that you are incredible. And your strength will see you through this."
Amy was amused by hearing Bruce say her name. He was helping her as much as any drug could. "Thank you Bruce."
"Do you want me to keep you company in the hospital today?"
"No Bruce. You'll be utterly bored. You go to work."
"But..."
"No buts."
"Do you want me to pick you up later?"
"That would be great." Amy paused for a moment.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"It's something."
"Well it's just that David didn't even offer to pick me up. He made some excuse last night about having to work late...no way to get out of it. I know he doesn't need another woman dying on him."
"You are not going to die. And he's a stupid man if that's what he's chosen. You have bigger things to think about than him. So you focus on that. Ok? You will ring me when you're done or when you need me?"
"Sure. Thanks Bruce."
Maxine fussed over Amy in the chemotherapy bay that morning. The room had about ten chairs that looked like hospital grade lady-boyz, each with a little TV and a curtain to pull around. It's was brightly painted and lit. A young doctor put a line in Amy and gave her a bag of fluids.
At half nine the oncologist came around and explained some of the possible side effects again. He told her that when the first dose was given they'd observe her. They'd also give her something for the nausea and send her home that night on a few things.
Amy ordered her mother to work when the doctor left. The nurse came and put up the first bag of chemotherapy. It was daunting looking at it. Amy closed her eyes and tried to take herself to another place.
Amy rang Bruce after lunch and he picked her up around five. He left early as he knew he'd be stuck in traffic and didn't want to be late. It was raining heavily outside. The car was silent except for the squeaking of the window wipers. Bruce was glad that the sound of the rain blocked out all the beeping horns and evening noise. He took the silent time to pray. He knew that it was too much to ask for someone's life so he prayed that Amy would have the strength to get through this.
As Bruce approached the nurse's station he heard Amy and a doctor talking from behind the curtain.
"We've given you some injections already. We have hopefully taken the edge off the nausea but I have to warn you that people are variable. So you need to take these tablets every four hours or else you may be vomiting too much to keep them down at all. Try to eat and use this mouth to prevent pain in your mouth."
"Thank you doctor. See you tomorrow."
Amy pulled back the curtain. "Bruce? You're right on time." Bruce took her bag out of her hand.
"How did it go?"
"Okay. I'm a little tired and woozy but in general I feel alright."
"Good. Let's get you home and get something good to eat. Are you hungry?"
"Not really. But I'll get something into me."
"Do you want me to make you some soup of something?"
"Thank you. But I think my mom probably already has that covered."
Amy invited Bruce in for dinner. Maxine had made chicken soup and brown bread and had bought Amy her favourite ice-cream. "Ma! I didn't get my tonsils out."
Bruce had to hide a laugh at Amy and her mother's antics. Amy was trying to help and her mom was trying to get her to sit down. "I was sitting all day. I'll get a DVT with any more sitting."
"Mother knows best. Go sit. Bruce, bring her into the sitting room please."
Bruce and Amy sat on the couch. Amy turned on the news. "I'm sorry that's just too depressing." Amy flicked it to Scrubs. "Hey something funny'll do."
"Are you not sick of hospitals?"
"I am but when I'm in hospital I just imagine that it's just like scrubs."
Maxine brought a tray out for each of them and Amy took her medicine. After dinner Bruce noticed Amy's eyes falling. She was soon out to the world. Her head fell to gently rest on Bruce's shoulder. She looked so peaceful he thought. She didn't look too comfortable so he put his arm around her and she fell into the crook of his arm.
Maxine entered the room a little later. She thought that this must be the most adorable sight she's ever seen. Amy was sleeping with a smile on her face. "Will I let her sleep?"
"Yeah that's a good idea. Why don't you have an early night? You look shattered. I'll let Amy sleep for a while."
"I suppose. I am exhausted. Didn't sleep a wink last night. Thank you Bruce. You're really helping Amy through this. Helping my daughter is akin to sainthood in my book. She couldn't do this without you." Maxine smiled sweetly at Bruce and put a blanket over Amy's legs. Maxine didn't tell Bruce that David had rang. Maxine was very upset with David and wasn't very polite with him on the phone. "Goodnight Bruce."
Amy slept in that position until nearly midnight. Bruce was just about to dose off when Amy stirred. "Hey there sleepy head."
Amy rubbed sleep out of her eyes and smiled at Bruce. "Thank you for staying. Didn't mean to fall asleep."
"That's no problem." Bruce pushed the hair back from Amy's face and spent a second to stroke her face.
"I must look a mess."
"You look beautiful." Bruce didn't mean to be so forward. It just came out. Quickly trying to change the subject he said: "I'll get your pills."
As he stood and turned around to go into the kitchen Amy leaped up and sprinted upstairs. Bruce didn't know what had just happened.
Bruce followed Amy up the stairs, her pills in hand. He saw a light on in her bedroom and the door lay ajar. Bruce approached the door. "Amy. Are you okay?" She didn't respond but he heard faint noises insides. "Amy?" Bruce very slowly pushed opened the door. "Are you in here?"
Bruce slowly walked into the room. He didn't see Amy but the door into her bathroom was lying open. "Amy? Can I come in?"
"Yeah," he heard from inside. Amy was sitting next to the toilet looking very pale and ill. "I was sick."
"I'm sorry. Why don't you take these?" Bruce handed her the pills. He poured her a glass of water from the sink.
"Thanks." Amy was breathing heavily and holding her stomach. Amy threw the pills in her mouth and took a sip of water. The water had not hit her stomach when she kneeled back down at the toilet and brought it all back up. She couldn't stop vomiting and when there was nothing left to throw up, she just retched stomach acid.
Bruce couldn't stand to see her like this. He held back her hair back and rubbed her back. In between retches he cleaned her face with a cold cloth. She couldn't leave the bathroom for hours.
Amy began to cry a little. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to see this Bruce." Amy washed her mouth out with mouthwash.
"I don't want you to be here alone." Bruce sat back against the wall.
"Thank you." Amy sat back against him. Bruce put his arms around her. He could feel her shivering in his arms. She turned her head into him and her eyes were closing. Bruce saw that her face was almost grey and sweat dripped from her brow. It was past two in the morning and they were both so tired.
When Amy began to settle, Bruce shook her shoulder ever so gently. "Amy. C'mon. I'll bring you over to your bed." Bruce picked her up in his arms. She didn't stir, just turned her head into him more.
Bruce rolled Amy onto her bed and pulled the blanket over her. He walked over to the window to close the curtains. "Bruce." Amy was barley able to open her eyes.
"You go back to sleep. You need your strength." Bruce kneeled down next to the bed and rubbed her shoulder.
"Bruce. Would you hold me?" Bruce had never heard her voice so weak. There was pain in her tone.
"Sure." Amy moved over in the bed to make room. Bruce ignored the slight tinge of discomfort and lay down next to Bruce. He put an arm around her and she cuddled into her. She put her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest. They lay there all night. Although neither Bruce nor Amy slept soundly, they lay in peace in each others arms.
At dawn Bruce lay watching Amy sleep. She had only fallen into a proper sleep about an hour ago. Bruce didn't want to disturb her. She was sleeping so quietly. As Bruce lay there watching her sleep, he prayed that she would not suffer like she did the night before. She had only had one day's treatment and he knew that it was likely to get worse than this.
Amy's legs had got wrapped around Bruce during the night. Bruce tenderly untangled himself. He gave Amy a lingering kiss on the forehead and headed downstairs.
Amy was asleep but aware of Bruce moving. She felt his lips on her head and detected his sweet scent as he moved over her. She heard him leave the room.
Against her body's wishes she opened her eyes. The light was just beginning to seep through the curtains. She realised that Bruce would have to go home eventually.
She jumped in a scorching hot shower and threw on her bathrobe. Her head hurt and her stomach ached. Her mouth felt like something had died. She gargled until she felt a bit more presentable.
Amy slowly headed down the stairs. When she got to the bottom she smelled fresh coffee and pancakes. She hadn't heard her mom get up. Her mom made a lot of noise when she was up. The back door was open slightly. She peered out and saw Bruce reading the morning paper.
Bruce heard the door squeak open and turned around. "Hi there. I'd hoped you would sleep a bit longer. I hope you don't mind I'm reading your paper."
Amy smiled. "I thought you went home or something."
"I was just making you some breakfast. You need to eat something and why not eat something nice and I've been told my pancakes are good so it would insult me if you didn't try some."
"Of course I'll try some." Amy laughed a little. Bruce rose and as they walked through the door he gave her a comforting rub on the back.
Amy sat on a stool swinging her legs over the side. Bruce gave her a glass of water and her pills and served up pancakes, buttermilk and blueberry types, and coffee just the way she liked it.
"What would I do without you Bruce?"
"You'd do just fine but I'm glad that I can help." Bruce smiled at Amy but when they were staring at each other for too long Bruce turned around in embarrassment. "Do you want me to come in with you today?"
"You've done more than enough Bruce. I think my ma is going to take a half day and bring Lauren home this evening."
"Well if you need me you know where I am." Bruce felt that he wanted to make sure that she really knew was there for her. "If you need anything today just give me a call," he reiterated, "and maybe I could see you for a while tomorrow night if you're up for it."
"I'd like that."
Maxine entered the kitchen. "I thought I'd heard voices. You're all up early." Maxine didn't seem to find it strange that Bruce was standing in their kitchen at six-thirty in the morning. "How's my girl?" Maxine walked over and gave Amy a kiss on the head.
Bruce went over to wash up some dishes. She heard Maxine talking to Amy: "David called late last night. He said he'd drive you over to the hospital this morning."
"I don't want to see him ma," Amy said, trying to keep her voice down.
"I don't condone him keeping away yesterday but it would be a good chance to talk and you can let him know how you feel."
Bruce continued to wash the plates, trying not to listen. When he was done he said: "I should probably go home and get ready for work." He didn't want to bump into McLaren. He felt he'd hit him for not coming to see Amy. He didn't know how lucky he was.
"Umm...ok. I'll walk you to the door." Amy stood up, feeling a bit woozy but better with food in her. She pulled her robe tighter around her and pushed her wet hair behind her ears.
When they go to the door, Amy looked up at Bruce, not knowing how to thank him enough. But she and Bruce had something between them that they just knew. Amy put her arms around Bruce's neck and gave him a tight squeeze. She didn't want to let go. Bruce put his arms around her waist and squeezed back. Amy buried her head in his neck and then she slowly began to pull away. As she did they both took a moment to stare into each other's eyes. Bruce thought the light was beginning to return to her eyes. Amy thought how lucky she was to have this brilliant man part of her life. While still in an embrace Bruce pushed lightly the hair behind her ears again. He leaned down and gently gave her a kiss on the cheek. As they lingered a bit too long the front bell rang.
Bruce instantly let go of Amy and she went to answer the door. It was David. He didn't even say good morning he just blurted out "I'm sorry Amy. I..." He caught a glimpse of Bruce. "Oh. What are you doing here?"
"I'm just leaving. I'll talk to you later Amy." He briefly touched Amy's arms and headed past David at the door.
"Thank you Bruce. Talk to you later."
When the door was closed with David inside, he said: "What was he doing here at this time and when did he start calling you Amy?"
"He stayed to take care of me last night because I was sick and I asked him to call me by my name. I'm sorry, I didn't prepare for an inquisition." Amy was very angry.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to jump down your throat. But why couldn't your mom look after you?"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking. That whole cancer thing's going great." Amy turned and headed toward the kitchen.
"Amy. Come back." Amy turned to face him but did not look happy. "I rang last night. Did your mom tell you?"
"You couldn't take half and hour to see if I was okay. Do you even care about me at all?"
"Of course I care. I care a lot. I was really busy."
"Is that really the reason?"
"What do you mean?"
Amy voice softened slightly. "I know this is hard for you. You've already lost one woman in your life. You don't need this stress again." David didn't say anything. "Your silence says a lot David. I think that this isn't going to work. You shouldn't have to go though any more trauma. I think we need a break."
Amy suddenly noticed that her mom was only feet from them, trying not to look uncomfortable.
"Okay Amy. I understand. I hope your treatment goes well. Maybe in a few weeks I could give you a call. If that's alright?"
"That would be okay. I wish you the best David."
When David was gone, Maxine came over and gave her daughter a quick hug. "It's alright love."
The second day of Amy's treatment went better. The doctors moved around her drugs in the hope that she'd have a better time that night. When Amy went home she had a nice dinner with her family. She couldn't eat much but tried to look happy for her daughter. Lauren was fussing around her mom all night. Everybody was a bit shattered and headed to bed before ten.
The phone rang and Amy went to answer it in her room. "Hi Amy. It's Bruce."
"Hiya Bruce."
"You sound in great form."
"I feel a hundred times better tonight. Look Bruce I wanted to thank you again. I could never thank you enough..."
"You don't need to thank me. It was more than a pleasure to be with you."
"Can I talk to you? In person?"
"Yeah no problem. Do you want me to come over now?" Amy was amazed that Bruce didn't even question why. He was just that kind of person.
"That's if you don't mind."
"I'll be over in 15." And he was gone. Amy didn't know what she wanted to talk to him about. She just wanted to see him and thought she ought to tell him about David.
Bruce was punctual, arriving in fifteen minutes. Amy answered the door in tight fitting jeans and a slim fitting sweater. Amy's curves did not go unnoticed by Bruce. He thought she looked better than she had all week. Her colour was fully back but she looked more alive. Her hair flowed unrestrained over her shoulders.
"Hi Bruce. Thanks for coming."
"You look better."
Amy smiled at him. "Come sit down." She led him to the couch. "Do you want tea?"
"No I'm alright." They both sat on the couch.
"I know it's late to ask you over..."
"That's no problem."
"I wanted to see you. I should tell you that I've ended things with David."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's for the best."
Bruce was torn between comforting her after her break-up and wanting to forget about David altogether. He looked up and noticed tears rolling down her cheeks. He knew he was first and foremost her friend.
"I'm really am sorry."
"I'm not crying over David. I am upset, I'm not made of stone but I'll be ok. I'm crying because..."
Bruce took Amy's hand. "Because what?"
"I'm scared. Of what will happen. Will I get sicker? Will I survive...?" Amy broke down.
"You will survive. You will fight this and your whole and family will be there every step. I'll be there every step. You don't get rid of me that easily."
Amy attempted a smile. "Maybe I just needed to hear that. Is that selfish?"
"There's nothing wrong with a little reassurance. I can't go through this crisis for you but I can be there with you." Bruce brushed a hand through her hair. "I've always cared for you but been so afraid to show it but I realise that time is a precious thing. Please let me be there for you."
"You're really special to me." Amy didn't know what came over her but she leaned forward and kissed Bruce. Her lips touched his and for a moment she shivered. She waited a second to see if he accepted her lips. She could feel him move closer to her. She took her upper lip between hers. Bruce hesitated and took her bottom lip and gently kissed it.
The kiss became fuller. Amy put her hands behind his head. She turned her body towards him on the couch. She knelt up towards him. Bruce put his hands on her lower back and pulled her closer to him. And then he stopped and pulled back. "I'm sorry Amy. I can't take advantage of you right now. You're vulnerable. It's not right."
Amy just smiled at Bruce. "I've wanted this for so long. We just couldn't allow ourselves before. But I'm sorry. Maybe I'm forcing you into to this because you feel sorry for me." Amy got up and walked towards the corner.
Bruce turned her around and pulled her towards him. "I want this too." He kissed so passionately like she's never been kissed before. She arched her whole body to him. She allowed a moan to escape her lips. Bruce gently pressed her body against the wall. Amy pulled him towards her as hard as she could. Their bodies were wrapped up in each other's.
Bruce trailed sweet kisses down her neck and then took her face in his hands. "I love you Amy Grey and you're going to get through this. I promise." Amy fell into his arms and he held her tightly and kissed her hair. Both knew that Amy would come through this. They stood there for an eternity, just content in each other's arms. No crisis was too big for them now.