Blue in the Face
"Well of course it's less than five percent likely that you're Kira, but if you are," L said methodically, "then I will catch you." His eyes bore holes into my face. I knew that he had his doubts about me, but sometimes it was just too much. I crossed my arms, tugging on the chain between us. He grunted gruffly as it yanked at his wrist. With a dirty look at me L returned to drinking his tea.
"I told you, I'm not Kira," I reassured again. It seemed no matter how many times I repeated the sentence it didn't matter to him. It was almost like he wished I was Kira. It was almost as if he was so afraid to be wrong he was ready to create the evidence against me.
"Okay," Matsuda chimed in. "I guess I still don't understand what happened." He was so slow it was painful. I know he was part of the task force since the beginning and a sort of favorite of my father's but this was just getting ridiculous. How many times did I have to tell him about L's inappropriate actions before he forced them to take off the handcuffs? I could barely stand being near him any longer. This was getting to be an annoying reality.
"I don't feel like either of us are benefiting from this discussion. I'd respectfully like to withdraw," L murmured, chewing on his thumb nervously. I made a point to stare at him. He may say that, but I knew; I knew that he couldn't stand not listening in as I retold his exploits, again. Something about his hatred of losing left him vulnerable to hearing the facts repeatedly. I sighed loudly, leaning back and preparing to tell him.
It was within the first week of being handcuffed to L and already the situation had become strange. We'd gotten into a fight where both of us suffered and he'd sworn to me that he would get evidence that I was Kira. Even though the percentage dwindled his motivation seemed to multiply. Sometimes I wondered how he even had the drive to continue on relentlessly pestering me. I was trying to solve this case too, after all.
"Kira?" he called to me. I did not reply. He knew my name was Light and if he wanted my attention that was how he would receive it. "Well, that's interesting," he mumbled.
I flashed my eyes burning with anger at him. "Is there something wrong Ryuuzaki?" I said with false sweetness. I could feel the disgusting sugary taste of the words on my tongue.
"Oh, no just something I've noticed," he replied. "You don't reply to Kira."
"Maybe that's because I'm not Kira," I explained, hoping he may finally agree to the fact. There was no way I could be Kira and after over fifty days in the cell he should know that.
"No," he quipped. "That's not it; perhaps you have forgotten that you were Kira," he pondered, rolling the cookie about in between his fingertips, staring at it with unyielding concentration. I was about ready to strangle him again, but I had to make it through the day.
His insistent tests of character continued from there. He would catch me in the most inconvenient times just to ask me whether I was Kira. You'd think that if I were Kira I would at least have the self restraint to keep from saying it out loud. If Kira was one thing it wasn't reckless. Something about him was meticulous, perfectionist and analytical. He was much like L and I the more I thought about it. Of course this observation was dangerous; I couldn't go about saying such things.
"Ow," L complained. "Ow, ow, ow," he continued, each complaint spaced five seconds apart. I jumped off of the pull up bar and moved to the bench press. Could he really be so sensitive as to complain about a little tugging on his wrist? It didn't seem to matter where we were. His trials continued, even at the gym.
"Can you spot me Ryuuzaki?" I asked, knowing all too well if the bar fell there was no way he would be able to help me anyway. Nevertheless he agreed with a curt nod. He continued to bite his lip as I worked out. Every so often he would begin to nurse he cuts on his wrist as if I were the one to blame for that.
"Light, do you believe in shinigami?" L whispered, his lips barely moving as he made conversation. I looked up at him and set the bar down.
"I don't see why my opinion matters," I explained, wiping my sweaty palms on my shorts. L sighed.
"As I am sure that you are Kira your opinion matters. Please Light," he pleaded. I chewed on my lip before looking back up at him.
"I don't see why not," I replied. He seemed satisfied with the answer. "What do you think?" I asked, this time it was his turn to be caught off guard. He looked up at me appalled. I could see the surprise in his eyes.
"I—I don't know what to think about them. Perhaps if shinigami exist they have something to do with Kira," he murmured, returning to chewing on his thumb again. I nodded; I had to turn the tables every so often.
These little tribulations he put me through were never enough to cause me to break, but he did have a way with timing. I couldn't even list all of the times he'd ruined the mood between me and Misa or how many times I'd nearly jumped out of my skin when he spoke. There was something haunting about the way he did it that made it all the worse. It was as if he didn't see me as a person anymore, I was just a suspect; I was just Kira to him. I wanted to be Light; I wanted to be a friend to him because he looked like he needed it. Even still, I had a feeling in the back of my mind that there wasn't anything I could do to make him see that I wasn't Kira. There was no way we could be friends if he continued to suspect me, and there was no way he'd stop suspecting me.
The hot water on my skin felt like a million massaging jets of water. I relished in the feeling. It loosened the knots in my muscles and cleared my mind of this mentally taxing investigation. Even the sound of the water clattering to the tiles was reassuring to me in a sense. I lathered my hair and closed my eyes to dunk my head under the water. When I drew my head out and finally opened my eyes I screamed and fell back into the wall.
"Ryuuzaki!" I reprimanded. It was true that L was not partial to social convention, but this was ridiculous.
"If you were Kira, why would you stop for a week before killing again?" L asked, staring at me with his large orb-like eyes. I opened my mouth to speak only to realize that there weren't words to describe my feelings. I closed my mouth and raised an eyebrow.
"Stop looking at me!"I finally managed to form the words with my lips. I swung the handcuffs at him, hoping he'd take the hint.
"Light, I fail to see the advantage of stopping for an entire week. Though I know the probability of you be Kira is now less than four percent, I can't help but wonder that if you are Kira, what was your motivation," he spoke, each word laced with skepticism and malice.
"I'm not Kira!" I yelled, "Get out of here!"
"Fine Light, but I can't go much further with these handcuffs on," he explained, moving around the corner and idly staring off into space once more. I sighed and stepped back into the water. Was there no peace in this investigation?
These occurrences became more and more abundant with time. No matter how many times I told him to stop, he never once listened. He was stubborn and proud, both of which qualities we shared. The events that he interrogated me increased in bizarreness through time. I thought about telling the rest of the task force, but I knew that Misa would just get angry if she caught wind. All I had to do was bite my lip and get through it. My percentage was dropping it wouldn't be long now until I was at zero percent likeliness that I am or was Kira. I thought I had the willpower to hang on until L made the decision that I wasn't a suspect, but after perhaps the strangest occurrence yet, I really couldn't stand it any longer.
"And that's when this happened?" Matsuda asked, his eyebrows knitting together uneasily. I nodded. I had to tell someone or else this would continue to no end and I couldn't very well have that.
"Watari, do we have cake?" L asked, looking up from the counselor-like situation to his assistant. I scowled in his direction.
"How can you be thinking of food right now? I swear," I snapped, brushing my hair aside to regain composure.
"He's really getting to you, huh Light?" Matsuda added in; I was sure to give him a death glare. The entire room remained close to silent until Watari brought the slice of chocolate cake back to L. He picked up the plate and took a bite. I found myself staring at him, much like Matsuda was doing. We watched him consume half of the slice before he looked up. I shook my head. He noticed me and grinned, scooping up another forkful of the chocolate delight. He held the fork up at eye level then took on a sweeter appearance.
"Would you like some Kira?" he asked. I bit my lip, nostrils flaring and eye twitching angrily.
"See what I mean!" I exclaimed, standing up causing L's arm to jerk at an unnatural angle. He squeaked in pain. I didn't even have the decency to look down and see if he was alright. My eyes remained in contact with Matsuda's hard gaze. I knew things were finally going my way. "And that's not even the worst of it," I groaned with a sigh. Finally it was time to bring their attention back to the event at hand. I brought their attention to the pinnacle of his harassment.
Last night we went to bed without a problem. L had curled up into a ball on his side of the bed and I laid pin straight on mine. Apparently I snored and I had proof that he stole the blankets in the middle of the night, but other than that we managed. I fell asleep to the restful noises of L's breathing, but I didn't get to sleep long before awaking once again.
I felt my breath coming short before I awoke. For some reason I was becoming light-headed. I gagged once before opening my eyes. L was staring at me with his large eyes. They seemed to glow in the pitch darkness of the room. I scrambled to move back as he was beginning to frighten me only to choke once more. The chain, he had wrapped the chain around my neck. I felt it tighten around my throat as I struggled. I looked at him with mad, bewildered eyes, begging him to release me.
"L," I moaned. "I can't breathe." He nodded. I grasped at my neck helplessly, but at this point my fine motor skills were failing. The chain remained uncomfortably tight around my windpipe.
"Tell me that you're Kira," he demanded. I shook my head feebly.
"I'm not," I coughed, knowing it wasn't enough.
"Kira, what you are doing is unacceptable. You need to stop now. I am ninety eight percent certain that you were once Kira, so if you aren't now, tell me who you gave your power to," he commanded. "Tell me damn it!" I waved my hand at him, hoping he'd realize that he was accomplishing nothing by choking me.
"Eh— L," I wheezed in between strained breaths. L stood up on his heels and stared down at my writhing figure on the bed.
"How do you kill people? I know that you know! Tell me Kira! Tell me!" he yelled; his face contorting slightly through his screams. The shadows dancing on his face only made him appear more terrifying. I felt one of my eyes begin to roll towards the back of my head and a pounding migraine develop at the back of my head. After I couldn't see out of one eye L finally realized what he was doing was wrong. He loosened the chain.
"Here, let me loosen it, you're turning blue," L mumbled, carefully unwinding the chain from around my neck. I felt his deft fingers gingerly unravel his death trap. His fingers lingered on my shoulder as he pulled it away. I engulfed the oxygen available to me and coughed incessantly. He looked down at my face with a sort of curiosity.
"What the hell?" I wheezed. He averted his eyes. I didn't make any attempt to ask him anything else, instead I lowered myself onto the floor, snatching my pillow and curled into a ball.
"What are you doing Light?" L asked, his eyes peeking over the edge of the bed. "There's plenty of room up here." I scowled and dug my face into the pillow.
"I am not sleeping in a bed with you," I mumbled, the sound of my voice overpowered by the night traffic outside. He remained at the edge of the bed for much of the night before falling asleep. I still noticed that he watched me until I fell asleep.
"Ryuuzaki, is this true?" Matsuda asked, his eyebrows knitting together in concern. I saw him steal a glance at my neck. The chain had bit it leaving little marks for Matsuda to examine.
"Well," L drawled, taking another bite of the cake. "I had to be sure he wasn't Kira."
"Does that mean you've decided?" Matsuda said with so much enthusiasm you'd think he was the one under scrutiny. L chuckled.
"Oh, no," L replied, shaking his head. I rubbed my neck unconsciously and looked up at Matsuda.
"I can't live with him any longer," I stated. At this L laughed again.
"You don't have a choice," he explained, lifting his fork once more in offering. I shook my head and looked at the ground. All of these tests of character were trying. They left me tired and broken down. When I lied down to bed at night the last thing I needed was a murder attempt. "No, you don't have a choice Kira."
Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! I rather like Light and L, perhaps I'll try something a bit romantic next time ;D Be sure to REVIEW, FAVORITE and CHECK OUT my other stories!