The Abstract
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
2 years ago in a retrieval mission
"Let's see how you little jokersss like thisss," he hissed viciously. A great deal of kunais flew towards them at rapid speed; the prospect of being hit was inevitable. To make things worse, the kunais had exploding notes tagged at the end. The two helpless teenagers were still oblivious to the coming attack until the more sensitive one felt a faint whizzing sound. It felt as if time had stopped, and the second before the explosives struck, she screamed.
"NARUTO, DUCK!" she shoved him on to the ground.
And the earth around them blasted and sent bits of grass and dirt spewing into the sky. The girl had only turned her head halfway when she a kunai was embedded in the side of her head.
He carried her and sprinted from tree to tree, not stopping once until he reached the gates of Konoha. His legs failed him. As he collapsed on to the ground, he made a protective shield around the girl in his arms. The guards looked at the two with incredulous looks on their faces.
He yelled ridiculously and protested to see the Tsunade-baa chan immediately. The Hokage quickly appeared in a puff of smoke. The sight in front of her drew a gasp from her tight lips.
"Save her…"
Sakura's Perspective
1. I am approximately seventeen years old.
I consider myself as a capsule, an empty container. I have a brain, and I am said to be very clever, but I know I am not the person I once was. I call the events after 'the trauma' my 'afterlife.' It is hard to explain, and even my mentor, the Hokage of Konoha cannot be completely sure of what happened to me.
I have no memories of my childhood, or anyone that was once dear to me, close to me. All I recall is that day in the hospital. I opened my eyes abruptly, there was no struggle or pain, I just woke up from what I later learned was a coma. There was white everywhere and the first thing I felt was sogginess and pain on the right side of my head. I opened my mouth and let out a very loud scream. I couldn't understand why I made that loud sound, but now I know that it is called, instinct. There were people running in with water coming out of their eyes and they kept touching me. Some put their arms around me and squeezed me very hard, some placed their lips on my face, and others stroked my hair like I was some kind of an animal. I felt very intimidated, I did not like this physical contact so I opened my mouth and let out another loud, screeching noise. Everyone stepped back and withdrew their arms, their eyes were wide. The room quieted immediately, and I liked the silence and stillness of everyone present, it gave me a moment to think. I couldn't find a logical conclusion of why people I have seemingly never met before came up to me and kept invading my personal space.
"She's not the same as before."
Although I did not know then, the people who seemed upset with the way my brain processed were my precious ones, or people I used to care about. Now that I have learned about my past, and that my name is Haruno, Sakura, I still do not know who I am.
Am I supposed to pretend to act like that other Sakura?
Do I fulfill her goals and dreams?
Or should I stay this way?
I imagine that it must be pretty difficult to change myself. Especially if I don't understand what most people find simple, almost natural to them.
I can't understand people or the more complex emotions.
I do not understand why Ino sprouts butterflies in her stomach when she sees someone attractive.
I do not understand what attractive means anyways. Why is someone with big eyes, a small nose, and high cheekbones deemed attractive? To me, anyone with a set of organs that can function properly is the same. And I have learned that if a person has missing limbs, I should pity them.
I also do not understand why Ino 'turns up her nose' (yet another human term I do not understand) when she sees a boy named Rock Lee.
He does have excessive hair around his eyebrows with strangely shaped eyes and a bowl-shaped haircut, I follow her up to that bit; but what I don't understand is why that impulses Ino to ignore him or to feel superior to him. It cannot be because he is less powerful, because I have seen him move close to the speed of light, something I haven't achieved yet. And that is a good comparison, because I practice and learn everyday, as I don't have the time or interest for my non-existing social life.
I don't understand why there are men and boys alike, who follow me and proclaim their love for me repeatedly. Usually I just ignore them and walk on, but if they come close to me I will say, "Please leave, sir." And if they still insist on stalling me from my daily duties, I force them out of the way or hit them.
I have inquired Ino about this puzzling correlation, and she would develop a red flush on her cheeks, but she would try to explain it to me. She says it is because people are 'shallow' but I find that even stranger. The only 'shallow' I know of is when water is only up to my ankles. She says that 'shallow' has a different meaning, and maybe 'superficial' is a better word for the correspondence. I still do not understand, but I sense that she does not want to talk about the subject any longer, so I just stop talking.
I have earned a reputation, and a nickname. It is "straight-forward," but it is okay because some have pointed out why my actions and little-spoken words would lead to this nickname. (Some other people prefer 'hard-ass' but I have been taught that it just a synonym, and I should not take any offense, which I don't.) It is logical, and I like logical people who say exactly what they mean.
And I could care less about what people think of me in this superficial world.
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2. I do not understand complex emotions.
Mother says that nobody is capable of making me feel emotion, but myself. She says that in the end it is my own brain processing the actions of others to produce feelings. I think this is true and because it is a logical solution, I believe it. That is why I am incapable of feeling complex emotions, because if my brain cannot understand what they mean, then it cannot process another person's actions to evoke some kind of feeling in me.
Also, I do not think that someone else's actions should matter, or affect me in any way. I am the only one in control of my brain, and it should stay that way.
For example, I know of the emotion, happiness.
It is what I feel when I accomplish something myself. It is what I feel when I work hard and create progress. It is not what I feel when I see children playing in a park, or when someone compliments me on my skill. Those are futile things that I don't care about.
I also know of the emotion, sadness.
It is what I feel when I fail a mission, and make it back to Konoha half-alive. It is what I feel when I fail to save a patient. Most of the time, I feel sadness when I fail. I would not feel sadness if people refused to talk to me or if someone called me names.
I don't understand what it means to 'listen to your heart.'
My heart does not talk, nor does it feel or generate any emotions. My heart is good for pumping blood into the veins of my entire body; it is good for keeping me alive. That is why it doesn't make sense if someone says 'I love them with all my heart.' I don't think love is an action, and it would be silly to presume that one can 'love' with their heart. But perhaps that is just me.
My disbelief leads me to my next point.
I do not love or like anybody, and I don't hate or dislike anybody.
That is not to say that I don't like or hate anything. Things are different. For example, I like my shurikens and kunais, because they are objects that I can use to protect myself. They do not talk or have emotions, which make the whole 'liking and hating' so much easier. I dislike the rain; it slows down missions and makes me wet and uncomfortable, because I do not like things to stick on my body.
My Mother, it would seem shameful to say that I don't love her, but that is the truth. I appreciate her for feeding me, for giving me a place to live, and for giving birth to me. But I do not understand why holding my hand when I feel sad is called 'caring.' 'Caring' is something she does but it does not make me feel better and I do not like being touched, but it would seem rude if I pulled my hand away.
Everyday, after each meal I would smile at Mother and she would pause at whatever she's doing. Her face would look pleasantly surprised, which is called 'lighting up.' It is strange to think that the contracting of some facial muscles can create happiness in someone as scholarly as she.
There is one physical contact that I allow, but it can only come from Mother and Ino. When I permit it, they will take out a wooden brush and start brushing my long strands of pink hair, over and over. It is peaceful and calming to me because they will be so concentrated in getting the knots out of my hair that they will not attempt in making a conversation with me. It is in complete silence which gives me time to think. They brush and brush until my hair is glossy and smooth, I enjoy that because smooth hair reminds me of silk, which is a clothing material that I like. Sometimes they'll keep brushing and brushing, much longer than necessary, like they're in a trance. When that happens I tell them to Stop and they smile at me then leave me alone.
But I never feel lonely.
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3. I have very good memory.
I can recall events from my past fairly well because I don't clog my brain with useless information. I do not try to remember the home-made cleansing formulas from fashion magazines like Ino does. It is a strange hobby of hers when she pulls my arm to go grocery shopping with her. I am not there to witness it very often.
I remember the day he came back, but I did not know who he was then.
I was outside sitting on the wooden bench on my house's porch. It was a bright, sunny day and I enjoyed the rays of sunlight on my face. There was something strange that I saw with my eyes. It was an adolescent boy limping closer into view with each passing second. I felt the emotion, surprise. I was not used to seeing bloody, limping boys walking on the streets of Konoha. His limp gradually slowed down and he finally collapsed on to the dirt. Since I am a medic-nin I quickly ran towards him by instinct. When I see my patients, I like to analyze their health by putting them on a scale of one to ten. With one being nearly-dead, and ten being of good health but a small cut. If they are dead or perfectly fine, then they are not patients to me. To boy who collapsed was probably had a 2.1 on the scale in my head.
He was strong by the look of his bare chest muscles, and had often overused chakra in his hands because they were slightly raw and burnt. There was blood all over him, and I knew if I didn't conjure a blood-clotting jutsu on him, he would soon die of too much blood loss.
I did some hand signs and pounded it upon the most serious cut. He made a soft, groaning noise. I looked at his face which was full of physical pain. I understood this hurt, and it made me happy. It's much easier to heal patients who I can understand, and I knew that I would be able to heal him.
I gathered more chakra to my palms and finger tips to heal some of his deeper gashes. His eyes were closed because he was squinting them. Maybe it would be better if he didn't see me at the moment.
I checked for any internal wounds but there were none.
Then I came across a bite on his arm that looked like it was bitten by a snake. By the look of it, he had been bitten for over three days, which is a bad sign if it was a poisonous snake. The venom couldn't have been very poisonous or he would not have been living at the moment. It was still worth trying, because I always like challenges.
I gathered chakra to my right hand and pressed my palm on to his bicep and waited. The chakra suffuse into the blood and detect any venom traveling with the blood in his veins then redirect it back to the indent of the bite. After I quadruple-checked the entirety and preciseness of the poison-search, I created a chakra bubble around the cluster so they would not flow back into his blood.
I licked the bitten skin to moisten his skin. Then I bent towards his arm so my lips were touching the raw skin surround the bite. I sucked the wound and venom gushed into my mouth. I had to be careful not to gag on the thick fluid. I spit it out quickly because it was bitter and slightly mixed with the irony taste of blood. There was black toxin splattered across the orange dirt.
It is a rule not to move patients when they are not completely healed, especially if they were below 5 on the scale, but I gently carried him to the shade. Then I ran in and out of my house to get the bandages from the first aid kit. I kneeled and placed his head on my lap to get him confortable.
While I was happily wrapping his wounds, the boy awakened.
"Am I in Konoha?" he rasped.
"Yes."
"Wha…are you do..ing?" he was having a hard time speaking.
"Healing you."
I do not like to chat with strangers. He should've been saving his energy instead of asking useless questions.
"Who are you?"
He squinted his eyes once more and his vision must have been cleared because his eyes widened. He began to gape at me.
"Sa…kura," he said hoarsely.
I felt very puzzled, and when I don't know or can't understand something, I feel very scared. I did not know why this stranger knew my name. It was irrational. I was smart enough to come to the conclusion that Tsunade-sama had not told me about him, even though he was part of my missing memory. That conclusion did not solve anything.
Why didn't she tell me about him?
Who is he?
What importance is he to me?
There were more questions plaguing my head, but I placed my hands on the side of my head to stop them. My hands dug as deep as it could go as I shut my eyes and sat down on the grass. I rested my head between my knees and kept the pressure from my hands, it made me feel safe that I was in a small, secure ball.
"Sakura…?" he repeated.
His voice speaking my name just made me even more scared and intimidated. I stood up and backed away slowly while shaking my head slowly. It had been a long time since I last did this, but at that moment, I screamed so loudly that it could be described as 'screaming my head off.'
After that, I ran home and locked the door.
I have good memory, but it is not equivalent to a tape recorder. He came back five days ago.
Author's Note: This is one of my more serious fics. I'm not really sure about it yet, so if you have any comments please review and tell me about your thoughts. And btw she is not emotionless like Sai, her memory loss has made her autistic-like without the 'special needs' part. Hopefully the handsome stranger she found will help her remember?