Fake It Till You Make It

by Deynaville2017

Rayna Jaymes did not die in S5. Instead, she was forced to fake her own death by Wayne Hockney. Now, almost a year later, she has come back to Nashville with the hopes of reuniting her family. *This is a quick version I had to write quickly, I may or may not continue into Rayna's psyche if I have future chapters. Rated T for mentions of murder and suicide.

A/N So to readers who may not be aware, Abby Clark is Connie Britton's character from the Fox show 9-1-1, I used her in here. Just as with Nashville characters, I do not own her or the show she is from. Additionally, Deacon's daughter Ashley is a character played by a dear friend of mine in our RP on tumblr, who I have come to love way too much to leave out of this story. A special thank you to mxsterpadfoot on Tumblr for loosely inspiring me to write this when you suggested that Rayna was forced to fake her own death.

To say that she was scared would be an understatement. Sure, the reasons were there, and she had only done what she had in order to protectthem. Over the course of her career, Rayna had dealt with stalkers, but this guy was unlike any other. This guy wasdangerous. So she had done what she had to. Still, this didn't seem fair. It hadn't been long since she had 'died', but it had been long enough to the point where they were getting on with their lives. She prayed they were anyways. Rayna didn't want them to feel any pain, especially Maddie and Daphne. They were kids, even if Maddie was almost legally an adult, she was her baby girl, and she didn't want either of her daughters to experience any pain. Unrealistic as it was, Rayna wanted to protect them from everything.

And Deacon… It had frightened her beyond belief to think of what might become of him after all that had happened. That man was stronger than he knew, and Rayna loved him so much for that, but she was still scared that without her, Deacon would fall back into old, bad habits. And that was something she didn't want for him, but especially for the girls. That was why, though it stung to see him holding a blonde woman's hand in the street a couple days ago, when she had first come back to Nashville from her temporary home in California, she hadn't approached him yet. She had seen him holding hands with the woman from the widow of a downtown coffee shop. Deacon had seemed happy though, which put her fears of a relapse at ease. Even though it made her all the more nervous to approach him. What if he shot her down or went into a rage? Would he understand? Deacon had never turned his back on her, had always been there through thick and thin and forgiven her for everything she had done to him. Deacon loved her so much, and Rayneknew that, she always had, but everyone had their breaking point. Would this be his? It had been over 11 months now.

Finally, Rayna worked up the courage to knock on the door, and stood there waiting. Oversized sunglasses covered her eyes, with her hair tied up and neatly placed under a large hat. The overalls and plain pink shirt were not something that Rayna Jaymes would ever wear, but she didn't want to be discovered until she had seen her family.

When he opened the door, Rayna's heart dropped, and she nearly forgot everything she had come for. God, he was even more handsome than she remembered! A wet tear found its way down her cheek, and all she could do was smile.

"Can I-" Deacon hadn't been fully awake at first, a long night of trying to write had only given him a couple hours worth of sleep. Before he could get the words out, however, he saw that smile. At first, Deacon thought he was dreaming, this was a moment he had hoped and prayed for, that somehow the Good Lord would give her back to him, that this past year had been just a horrible nightmare that he couldn't seem to wake up from. It didn't make sense, but he didn't care, here she was! As much as he wanted to scream, burst into tears, pull her close, Deacon had known her long enough to know when shedidn't want to cause a stir. "Rayna?" Hands shaking, Deacon reached forward to pull those sunglasses down and, when he did, was greeted by those gorgeous eyes of hers, face reddened and tearstains evident. "Rayna!" The voice that came out was hardly more than a whisper, but pure gratefulness mixed with maybe a hint of confusion and hurt. "Tell me I ain't dreamin' baby, 'cause I don't think I could handle that." Arms rushing to hold her, but also pulled her back inside, closing the door behind her so that they could talk in privacy.

Good Lord, it felt good to be home, and in her husband's arms again! Removing her hat, glasses, and large scarf and letting them all fall to the floor, Rayna found herself unable to stop looking at him. "I'm home." She smiled, "Where are the girls?"

"Daphne's at a sleepover and Maddie is out of town for an interview, Scarlett's with her, and Ashley is working." Deacon filled her in, but he was still questioning a lot of things. And he was hurt! If she had been alive all this time-why hadn't she called him? Said anything!

"Oh, good, we can talk."

"Yeah, we'd better." Deacon agreed but, now that shock and happiness had worn off a little, his voice was stern, demanding answers. "Rayna-" the familiar sting of tears started to swell in his own eyes, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKIN'?" It had been a long time since he had gone into a rage, but his heart had been broken… For nothing? "WHERE THE HAVE YOU BEEN? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'VE GONE THROUGH, WHAT OUR GIRLS HAVE GONE THROUGH? YOU'D BETTER START TALKIN', RAYNA, BECAUSE I CAN'T-I DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO US? WHAT THE FU-"

"Deacon," Rayna started, catching his arm through a string of gestures,

"WHY RAY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? THOSE GIRLS NEED THEIR MAMA- ESPECIALLY DAPHNE, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THIS HAS BEEN ON HER? SHE"S GOING TO THERAPY AND IS ON DEPRESSION MEDICATION-AT 13! MADDIE NEEDS YOU, DADS DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY WHEN A YOUNG WOMAN HAS A QUESTION FOR A MOM. I NEED YOU! RAYNA, I'VE FOUGHT FOR YOU, YOU'RE THE ONLY WOMAN I HAVE EVER LOVED'! I LOVE YOU, AND I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE OKAY, BUT IM ANGRY.." Giving in to the desire to burst into a fit of sobbing, he took a seat on the couch, hands in his face. "Do you know how hard it's been, Ray? I'm tryin' to raise our girls by myself, Highway 65 is barely afloat, Daphne's having a lot of problems-I'm sure you popping up again isn't going to do anything better for her psyche. Scarlett had a miscarriage, Juliette's in a cult or somethin' and Avery keeps askin' me what to do, Maddie's dating a pop star and dealing with mean people on the Internet. And I'm… I'm barely alive, Rayna! MY DAUGHTER has taken care of me, Ashley has seen the pieces that Maddie and Daphne havent, and she don't deserve that!'" Since the day he'd watched her flatline, Deacon had only a couple of recurrent thoughts, and he hadn't shared that with anyone. "Do you know how many times I've wanted to reach for the bottle? Not only that, but I'vewanted to be an alcoholic again… Not recovering… I'vewanted to drink and drink and drink, and hopefully wake up in Heaven, so that I could be with you. Rayna, I've wanted tokill myself everyday since you died. I'm hardly keeping it together, and I can't afford games right now, so for you to show up after almost a year with no explanation… Baby, you're killin' me. And I know you, and I know there's got to be a reason, but I also need you to know how much its hurt us all, and that I'll forgive you- but not tonight. It's gonna takea lot of time."

Every word he spoke was a major blow to her heart, but she owed it to him to listen to everything he had to say. If the roles had been reversed, she knew she'd probably be doing the same thing. Poor Daphne! She had never wanted her daughters to feel pain, and she had caused them the worst of their life. And Deacon… The man tried to be strong, and he was, but he was so sensitive too. Ashley had always been strong, that stepdaughter of hers from one of Deacon's one night stands while they had been broken up, even before Maddie had been born. The end though, that might have been the worst part. he had made the man that she had loved since she was 16 years old not only want to give his life back to the hands of addiction, but also to end his life. How was she supposed to live with that? "Deacon, you've got every right to be upset." The words came out emotionlessly, but she grabbed firmly to his hand, and tilted his face towards her own. "but you've got to believe me when I tell you that I love you, and that I never wanted to hurt you or my babies."

Biting his lip, Deacon nodded, but couldn't bring himself to say anything.

"You know I love the girls and you more than anything in this world. More than life itself?" She waited, but Deacon couldn't make himself nod even. The thing was, he knew, but he didn't understand how she could do this if she so loved them. "Well, I do. And that's why I had to go away. That stalker… Deacon, he wasdangerous. Not like other stalkers I've had… After I had that last surgery, when you guys thought…..

"When youdied!?" Deacon shouted.

"Yeah… before that," Her voice was quiet, the memories still too fresh, but she spoke up to explain. "You and the girls were in the cafeteria when I woke up, and Scarlett was gone too. The stalker,he came into my room! That guy, he put a gun to my head again and said if I didn't do as he said he wouldn't just kill me, but he wouldkill you and the girls too!" Rayna stopped, the words like vinegar in her mouth.

"Wh-what?" Deacon asked, looking her in the eyes. It was all true, he could see that, but this was like something that happened in movies-notreal life!

She nodded. "I couldn't take that chance, Deacon! I just couldn't!"

"I know." Finally, he squeezed back on her hand, "I would've done the same." That all made sense, but that still didn't explain the body-identical to her own-, watching her die, and why it had taken her so long to get home. "But how… How did you…? Rayna, Isaw you flatline, so did the girls!"

Shaking he head, grimace on her lips. "Wasn't me, Deacon. The woman you saw die was a woman from California, her name was Abby." The bewilderment on his face was understandable, so Rayna kept explaining. "Abby Clark was a 9-1-1 operator from California. The resemblance to me that she had was…creepy." A dry chuckle came from deep in her throat, more of a sad forced laugh if anything. "I can't explain why, but it was uncanny."

"You're tellin' me." Deacon agreed, shaking his head, and taking all of this in"

"Yeah… So, this Abby was from California. Wayne saw her on the street, thought she was me, and threatened her. Deacon, the guykidnapped poor Abby. I don't know what his plan was, but he had her kidnapped when he met me. I guess that was why he was so interested in me, he wanted to make sure Abby wasn't lying to him. Anyways, When I got into the accident, I guess Wayne saw that as his opportunity." She was crying again, it was so hard to believe that all of this had actually happened. "Wayne Hockney was stalking me in thehospital, babe, he wanted to hurt me."

"I thought he went to jail." Deacon mused.

"Escaped the same night." She replied. "Then, when you all went to lunch, he came to my room. Its horrible, but he was in scrubs so he wouldn't look out of place. Somehow, he had another gun, had it to my head, and told me if I didn't do what he said he would go afteryou, Maddie, and Daphne. I couldn't let that happen."

"Why wouldn't you press the button for a nurse?"

"Because he would havekilled me, Deacon, and then he would have been after you and the girls. I tried to talk him down, but it didn't work. Apparently, he had murdered Abby in a hotel after he escaped jail, thought that she could testify against him,her body was in his car…. Wayne handcuffed me, I guess he swiped those from jail, gave me a tranquilizer, and then swapped my body and Abby's. The next thing I remember I was in California… Eventually California police caught Wayne, and they got into contact with Tennessee as the state police alerted all the major departments. Hockney's been in prison for about 6 months, he's never gonna see daylight again."

Okay, so 6 months she had been free. "Why has it taken you so long to come home?"

Wringing her hands, Rayna looked away, and mumbled quietly, "Abby." She felt guilty, Abby Clark had been an innocent in all of this. "I wanted to go see her family once Wayne was put in prison, once I could escape. Once I tracked down her home… She was a wonderful woman. Abby was a 9-1-1 operator, she saved lives, her mother had Alzheimer' s and a nurse was taking care of her in Abby's home. That nurse was so amazing, babe. They thought Abby had disappeared and had a missing persons out on her… Her mother was dying… Neither her mother nor the nurse, Carla, thought I was Rayna… They thought I was Abby, and I knew by looking at her that Patricia Clark didn't have long to live, so…I thought that I owed it to Abby to take care of her mother until she passed." It had been driven out of guilt mainly. In Rayna's eyes, Abby Clark had taken her place, saved her life and her family's lives. Abby hadn't deserved to die, but she had essentially taken Rayna's place in death as she was kidnapped and kept hostage by Wayne Hockney until his final arrest. Rayna had never met Abby Clark, but she felt connected to the woman who had saved her life. It was only right that she return the favor by caring for Abby's ailing mother. "Her mom was dying and, when I showed up at their door to tell them, they thought I was her and…I couldn't do it." It made her feel weak to say that out loud, but Deacon was the only person she trusted to be completely transparent with. "So I just stuck with it for a few months, I was Abby Clark. I was living her life. Her mom died a month or so ago. I gave a two weeks notice at her job, then came back to Nashville. I wanted to talk to you sooner but….."

"Why wouldn't you call? Write?Email? Something! And why didn't you come to me sooner if you've been in the city a month!?" As happy as he was to have her back, Deacon wanted answers.

"Wayne smashed my phone, he didn't want me getting ahold of anyone. You know I'm terrible with remembering numbers. Abby's computer at work was strictly for work, I didn't want to cause a fuss until I got out…"

"Rayna…" Deacon cupped her face. She was still herself, but she was also a fraction of her old self. Something had been taken from her, she seemed so scared, so scatterbrained, which wasn't something the independent, fierce redhead usually was. "What did he do to you?" Wayne Hockley hadhurt Rayna, and Deacon wanted to strangle him. "I just wish you'd of come to me sooner."

"I did!" She gasped, fresh tears starting, "But I sawyou-with her!"

"Her?" Deacon asked, though he had a feeling where it was going.

"Jessie Caine!" They hadn't seen one another in many years, but they had been friends at one point in time, and Rayna would never forget her face. "You were walking downtown holding hands. I saw you two… You looked…content. I didn't want to ruin that."

Jaw opening wide, hand going to his forehead, Deacon leaned back laughing, a mixture of amusement and weariness. "Rayna… I thought you weredead. I ain't gonna lie, I've been spending time with Jessie… She's been getting me thougha lot." Jessie was nice, and a friend, and she had been there for Scarlett when she had lost the baby. Jessie was a good person, she really was but… She could never be Rayna.

"Oh my God," Rayna's jaw mirrored Deacon's, and the tears started to come faster ,more intense, "You're in love with her, aren't you!?"

"NO!" Deacon replied firmly, assertively, "Ray," his eyes went much softer than they had been, his hands clasping around her shoulders. "Oh, baby, of course I don't love Jessie… I loveyou."

"Then why were you holding her hand?"

"We…" Honesty would be easier here, "I was trying tolike her Rayna, I was. And I mean, I do like her, but I don'tlike like her." Wow, he felt like a schoolboy. "I thought you were dead. Jessie was there, and she's been nice. I'm not gonna say that I haven't enjoyed being with her, but I ain't in love with her. Rayna…" Looking Heavenward, he breathed in deeply, "I ain't never gonna love nobody but you."

Part of her was hurt. Her husband had been on dates with the blonde, kissed her, and tried to make himself feel more deeply for her. Of course, Rayna was honored that he hadn't felt more for Jessie because he could only love her, but it was still a tough pill to swallow. It wasn't cheating really, because he and everyone else had thought Rayna dead, and Rayna hadn't made any effort to let them knw otherwise because she was scared.

"I'm so sorry Rayna…" Deacon apologized, truly apologetic to his core, "If I knew you were alive…I never would have…."

"It's okay, I know." Rayna really wasn't hurt that he had tried to find love again, it was better than trying to find whiskey. "It's just that… So soon?"

"Like I said, Ray, it was friendship. I tried really hard to make it more than that, but it just ain't… I don't feel anything for her. You're the only one for me, baby, you always have been."

Rayna smiled, allowing herself to melt into his embrace. "You might say that, but what about Jessie? Babe, I'm a woman, and I know that she has feelings foryou, whether or not you do her."

"We'll tell her. Rayna, there's no what if about it. You'realive! We'remarried! You'rehome! There's no one I'd rather spend my life with. And let me tell ya, after that separation, I pray that I can spend all eternity with ya too, if you'll have me."

"Deacon." She smiled, color filling her cheeks as though she were 16 again. "Of course I'll have you for as long as God lets me.."

Unable to hold off any longer, Deacon pressed his lips to Rayna's. Good God, it had been so long, but her kiss was even sweeter than he remembered. It was wonderful, and safe, and Deacon finally felt alive again. "Good God, I love you Ray."

"I love you too, Deacon, forever." She cupped his face, thankful for this moment. They would still have a lot of things to talk about, Rayna would be healing from her own trauma at the hands of Wayne Hockney for a long time yet, and they would need to catch up, but they were together, and nothing would come in their way again. "So," Rayna started, wondering where to start on that list of everything he had told her, "Juliette's in a cult?"