The Marauder Book of Looks

by regenengel3

Ever wonder how the Marauders managed to communicate silently? Have you considered them all possible of advanced mind magics? Well, the answer is no, they are not skilled at advanced mind magic merely observation. The Reading of Looks is a fine art that requires much study. Lucky for you, the Marauders have made a book on it! (Reference for The World Moved.)

Disclaimer! I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters or places connected to the franchise.

The Marauder Compendium of Looks: A Guide to Understanding the Many Looks of the Marauders

Compiled by: Sirius Orion Black

Illustrated by: Remus John Lupin

Foreword by: Peter Henry Pettigrew

Written by: James Charles Potter

Foreword:

Ever wondered how the Marauders could know what the others were thinking, or why they would sometimes shout for no apparent reason? Have you ever seen them making odd faces and wondering why? Well, here are all the answers you need when confronted by the many looks of the Marauders! We Solemnly Swear that We are Up to No Good.

Number One: I do believe you've had your fun.

This look was first introduced to the Marauders by one Lily Evans, who at the time was not on good terms with the Marauders. Still, it is an effective look when used correctly and not overused.

Number Two: Idiot

Mr. Severus Snape is a master of this look and was the one who made it a staple of Marauder Nonverbal Communications. A versatile look, Number Two is one of the few Looks that can convey a tone, be it amused, fond, exasperated, or insulting.

Number Three: Shush!

Another look from Lily Evans, this look can have several uses from irritated study mates to chuckling co-prankers.

Number Four: Come here!/Look!

An interpretable look, this one nonetheless indicates excitement and a wish to share something.

Number Five: Yes sir/ma'am/Oh Great One

A highly sarcastic look, Number Five has always been a staple of Marauder communication.

Number Six: BUSTED!

We the Marauders believe this one speaks for itself.

Number Seven: Boys, behave

This look has always been used by parents and teachers for time out of mind. Girlfriends also make very good use of this Look.

Number Eight: I'm not amused

Number Eight is another look that has shades of meaning and intensity. Though, generally speaking, when this look is used, it is wise to either run or be silent. Especially if it's your girlfriend giving you the look.

Number Nine: Shut up, you're giving me a headache

Often used during study hours by the more studious of the group, this look is also used in conjuncture with the Silencing Charm or Stinging Hex. If Number Nine is aimed at you, it would be a wise course of action to shut your gob.

Number Ten: I know what you're up to

Often used in disapproval, Number Ten can also be conspiratorial. Use caution when reacting to this look as teachers don't always take well to you grinning cheekily at them. Or you asking if they want in.

Number Eleven: I want in

A rather vague look, Number Eleven can often be mixed in with looks like Number Ten. Gauge carefully.

Number Twelve: Oh, haha

Often confused with Number Eight, Number Twelve is a different level of 'uh, oh.' It is not as sever as Number Eight, but should still be treated with some caution as it can quickly change from sarcasm to irritation. Running is highly advised if your girlfriend gives you this look.

Number Thirteen: You're both idiots

A wildly popular look among Slytherins and studious friends. The best response is a cheeky grin, a wink, or a shrug. It is possible to combine these and is not to be discouraged. Do not ask why or show your confusion over what you've done this time!

Number Fourteen: RUN! It's Filch/a Professor!

This look is best followed by running as though the hounds of darkness are on your tail. No-one wants to get caught when they can help it.

Number Fifteen: Did you have to?

Often used by victims of a prank, this look is best answered with Number Sixteen.

Number Sixteen: Why yes. Yes I did

A rather smug look in its natural form, it can also be altered to suit your needs. Best used after Number Fifteen.

Number Seventeen: Let's clear out

A good look for when a friend's girl/boyfriend is reaming them out. Best followed up with a believable excuse(homework, letter, remembering something you forgot, needing to visit Hagrid...)

Number Eighteen: We're getting funny looks

This look is often paired with Number Seventeen, though it can stand alone. Also often used in amusement.

Number Nineteen: ATTACK!

Another look that has various uses, though mainly used as a warning by the Marauders. Number Nineteen can be used during the Hogwart's Snow War to great effect.

Number Twenty: Spiked/Poison

Almost always a warning look. Can also be interpreted as 'don't drink that!'

Number Twenty-One: If you must

Highly resigned and often used by the more rule-abiding of the Marauders. Often answered with Number Twenty-Two.

Number Twenty-Two: I must.

Very cheeky. Use with caution. Especially on professors.

Number Twenty-Three: You good?

A very useful look in a non-verbal conversation. Often used after a fight or in the Hospital Wing. Often answered with Numbers Twenty-Four through Thirty-Two.

Number Twenty-Four: Yeah, I'm good

A likely response to Number Twenty-Three.

Number Twenty-Five: No. I'm not

A likely response to Number Twenty-Three.

Number Twenty-Six: Go jump in the lake

Use when annoyed or angry with a friend. A likely response to Number Twenty-Three. Also a response to Number Thirty-Three.

Number Twenty-Seven: Drown in your cereal/choke on your breakfast

Often used by non-morning people when woken up. It is inadvisable to use Number Thirty-Three in response. Use of Number Thirty-Three may result in hexing, jinxing, cursing, or the throwing of heavy objects. A likely response to Number Twenty-Three. Also a response to Number Thirty-Three.

Number Twenty-Eight: May your bacon burn

See Number Twenty-Seven. Also a response to Number Thirty-Three.

Number Twenty-Nine: Fantastic

A rather dour look that is similar to Number Eight. Use of Number Thirty-Three in response is highly discouraged. A likely response to Number Twenty-Three.

Number Thirty: I hate you

See Number Twenty-Seven. Also a response to Number Thirty-Three.

Number Thirty-One: Why are we friends again?

Often used after one has shared a rather crazy idea. Also a likely response to Number Twenty-Three.

Number Thirty-Two: You owe me chocolate

Most often used by Remus Lupin, this look should always be treated with despair. And galleons. Lost of galleons. Hence, despair. Also a likely response to Number Twenty-Three.

Number Thirty-Three: Rise and shine!/Good morning Starshine! The Earth says hello!

A far too cheery look first thing in the morning and often highly annoying to non-morning people. Use with extreme caution. Improper use may result in hexing, jinxing, cursing, and/or thrown objects.

Number Thirty-Four: Go jump off the Astronomy Tower

Also a response to Number Thirty-Three.

Number Thirty-Five: I will hurt you

Always wise to treat the one using this look with caution. 'Hurt' could mean anything from a pillow in the face to a curse in the back. A look most certainly not restricted to the Marauders, one should always interpret this look as a warning to back down, at least a little. A likely response to Numbers Thirty-Three and Twenty-Three.

Number Thirty-Six: I'm plotting your slow and imminent demise

Usually used for the gravest of offenses, and then usually by Severus Snape, this look is to be treated with fear and possible running. From the country.

Number Thirty-Seven: You amuse me

A very good Look, this one was introduced by Sirius Black, though more often used by Severus Snape and Regulus Black. Many times, this look means that you get to live. Or at least, not get pranked to within an inch of your sanity.

Number Thirty-Eight: Hurt my family, and there is nowhere you can hide from my wrath

Self-explanatory.

Number Thirty-Nine: SHUSH! I'm thinking

Usually, this one precludes pranking. Sometimes something a little more insane. Be wary, be very wary.

Number Forty: You ate my chocolate, prepare to die

Run. Run as fast as you can, as far as you can, then leave the country. And change your name. And get plastic surgery. And spend the rest of your days spraying yourself with cologne/perfume while praying Remus doesn't find you. This look means at worst high levels of pain and at best a mental/nervous breakdown.

Number Forty-One: Ouch

A look that the Marauders try at all costs to avoid using... outside of dramatics anyway.

Number Forty-Two: You wound me!

Melodramatic use only.

Number Forty-Three: Traitor

… No comment.

Number Forty-Four: There are forty-seven poisons that act within hours, thirty-three within minutes, and twenty-one within seconds. Of those, thirty are lethal within hours, twenty within minutes, and thirteen within seconds. Fifteen cause extreme pain as they work, fourteen paralyze for life even if an antidote is administered, twelve cause brain damage, eight are illegal... and I know how to brew them all. There are over fifty spells that, when combined, cause painfully entertaining effects that would land you in St. Mungo's for at least a week. Oh, which one to use, which one to use...

There is no hope for you. None. Not even running as fast as you can, as far as you can, then leaving the country, changing your name, getting plastic surgery, and then spending the rest of your days spraying yourself with cologne/perfume while praying the one giving you this look(likely Severus Snape, the devious hissing potions genius) can save you. It may lengthen your life, but it won't save you.

Number Forty-Five: Whatever you're planning, it won't work

… No comment

Number Forty-Six: Oh what joy

Most often sarcastic. Can be safely ignored.

Number Forty-Seven: Stop embarrassing him/her and let me handle this

Best followed. It helps avoid fights and confusion.

Number Forty-Eight: I'm highly disappointed in you

James Potter adopted this one from Albus Dumbledore with the intent to mock. Still highly useful and has been used with the Cubs. Works rather well to make one feel guilty.

Number Forty-Nine: Oh Snap!

Self-explanatory.

Number Fifty: I know something you don't~!

Highly smug and should be used with caution. Improper use may result in hexing, jinxing, cursing, and/or thrown objects.

Number Fifty-One: I live to annoy you

Use with extreme caution. Improper use may result in hexing, jinxing, cursing, and/or thrown objects.

Number Fifty-Two: I still have that pipe you know

Stop annoying him. Please. It will only end in pain if you do not.

Number Fifty-Three: Put that away!

Failure to comply will result in a good hexing. It is advised that you check your bed/trunk/closet/cup as well.

Number Fifty-Four: Drop it

Literally or figuratively, it's generally a good idea to do as instructed.

Number Fifty-Five: That wall looks mighty inviting

A clear sign that you might want to shut up... or initiate a conversation via looks or notes. Number Fifty-Five could mean the one using it wants to bash their head against the wall.. or smash your head against the wall. Either way, caution should be exercised.

Number Fifty-Six: Real mature

… Paddy forgot this one, which is rather hard to believe as he was one of the most often recipients. So, while this one deserves a higher place on the list, it get's stuck down here. Poor poor Number Fifty-Six.

Number Fifty-Seven: Like you wouldn't have done the same thing

… No comment.

Number Fifty-Eight: Oh no, it's him/her!

Often used when... erm... NO COMMENT!

Number Fifty-Nine: Help me, please!

Often used when in an argument. Especially with a witch. The most frequent response? Number Sixty-One.

Number Sixty: S/He's done it again

A Look well known and used among the Marauders, Number Sixty is usually in reference to Padfoot, though his wife is also a well-known subject. As is Mrs. Potter.

Number Sixty-One: You're on your own

We believe this one speaks for itself.

Number Sixty-Two: I know just the thing~!

… Ya know what? Take this one as it comes and treat it with all due caution, depending on the personality using it.

Number Sixty-Three: We've got a problem

Start coming up with contingency plans. Make sure at least one makes use of a large vat of pudding, a five-pound block of the finest chocolate, and/or a party canon, complete with pink glitter. And yes, it must be pink. And make sure one of your plans involves... unpleasant... spells.

Number Sixty-Four: I hate when s/he does that

Ah, Number Sixty-Four, my old friend. I've gotten a lot of use out of this one... though a lot of it was Padfoot using it on me and Lily, not necessarily together or in that order. Though, all of the Marauders have used it in reference to Padfoot many a time. Ah~! Fourth Year was a good one...

Number Sixty-Five: Why would you do that?

Often used by our victims, but not exclusively, this look is nigh on universal. Practice before a mirror is not necessary. Padfoot.

Number Sixty-Six: How could you betray me like that?

Luckily, Number Sixty-Six has only been used for melodramatic reason among the Marauder family. It can all too easily become serious. Use responsibly.

Number Sixty-Seven: I know you can do better than that

Not to be confused with Number Forty-Eight, Number Sixty-Seven is highly effective at producing results. Especially when used by parents or mentors. Padfoot also calls it a 'Gibbs Stare.' He refuses to elaborate.

Number Sixty-Eight: Get to the point before I slap you

Another 'Gibbs Stare,' Number Sixty-Eight is most often used when someone is digressing, rambling, or just completely off topic in the work environment. My co-workers hate it when I use it on them. Use responsibly.

Number Sixty-Nine: Stop trying to rile him/her up

A look most often directed to our Slytherin friends, Number Sixty-Nine is usually one of two things: fondly exasperated or disapproving. Answering with a cheeky grin can sometimes be appropriate, though a cocky smirk and/or a quirked eyebrow are decent alternatives.

Number Seventy: Did you seriously just ask/say that?

It has occurred to me that a startling number of these Looks are most often used or directed toward one Sirius Orion Black, otherwise known as Padfoot. Number Seventy is equally divided between being used by and on Padfoot, with its use by and on others sporadic in comparison. Though, Number Seventy is often confused with Numbers Two and Fifty-Six. Really, it's kind of a mix between the two that has a different meaning than either of them.

Number Seventy-One: I am amused

Finally! A look just about everyone uses! Ah. Yeah, nothing more from the narrator on this one. No. Wait. This one is often mixed up with Number Thirty-Seven.

Number Seventy-Two: I am willing to dig your intestines out with a rusty spoon

A fine murderous glare from the one and only Severus Snape, pictured above. Do treat the user with care. Who knows when they might carry through with the threat. Even if it's an illusion (Credit for this idea will have to go to TatraMegami's 'Rebellion,' Chapter 25: Potions Nightclub.)

Number Seventy-Three: I am past killing you and I'm going to keep you locked in my potions cabinet for the rest of your natural life

Another criminal thought from the Magnificent Bat, Professor Severus Snape. Again, do treat with care. This one he might really follow through on... until his wife or son catches wind at least. Unless they're supremely ticked off with you as well and then there is no hope for you.(Again, TatraMegami's 'Rebellion,' Chapter 25: Potions Nightclub.)

Number Seventy-Four: What do you take me for?

The most used answer to this is, 'an idiot.' This can be conveyed either via look (see Number Number Two) or aloud. We the Marauders prefer to answer via look. There are other intimidate answers you could give, but I'm too lazy to write them all out. (Writing all this by hand is exhausting! How does anyone get a book published?!)

Number Seventy-Five: We're clear

Often used when on pre-prank scouting missions or when sneaking into position to prepare said prank. We believe this look to be self-explanatory.

Number Seventy-Six: I don't care what you did, why are you bothering me?

Introduced by Severus Snape, this is a disinterested look that appears much like Number Fifty-Six got slammed into by Numbers Sixty-Seven and Sixty-Eight. So far, only Severus has managed to pull it off perfectly. Clearly, We must practice more. Where the Wives can't see us. Especially Petunia. *shivers*

Number Seventy-Seven: Have fun

Yeah... no comment. It's probably best for your sanity if you don't dig too much into what this one is used for.

Number Seventy-Eight: S/He's all yours

Again, probably safer if you don't think about what this one is used for. I will comment that there is the 'evil' version, the 'vindictive' version, and the 'pranking' version. If you see this one... use your own discernment and/or discretion.

Number Seventy-Nine: Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, can't we do something else?

PADFOOT! Honestly, this should have been much higher on the list. He's the one who uses this look the most! For... uh... reasons. STOP CACKLING YOU MANIAC!

Number Eighty: You're horrible, you know that right?

Highly exasperated and almost overused, this look has been around for centuries. We just got a picture of it, gave it a number, and stuck it in a book.

Number Eighty-One: Why on Earth would you think that?

Easily mixed up with Number Seventy, this look is what your best friend will give you after you've said something stupid like, 'I'm too dangerous to be around' or maybe, 'I have to break up with you so you won't get hurt.' Your mother could also give you this look if you said something along the lines of, 'and now you hate me.' We the Marauders hope you learn to recognize this look and realize the one giving it to you in a true friend. Or a really good parent that you should not run away from.

Number Eighty-Two: Touch me and die

Whoever is giving you this look has had a bad day, is in a foul mood, and the best response would be to back off and be silent or hand over any chocolate you have on your person and pray it is enough to dissuade them from clawing your face off(I'm looking at you, Mr. Mooney.). Also, if you need this book to tell you what this look is then you need help. For real. Intense psychological help. Seriously. Just go. Now. Shoo.

Number Eighty-Three: Wanna bet?

A good go-to when told, 'that's impossible!' And as with the above, if you need this look explained you need help.

Number Eighty-Four: Watch me

Another good go-to look for when someone says 'you can't do that!' Can easily be mistaken for Number Eighty-Three.

Number Eighty-Five: Challenge accepted

Self-explanatory really. Also, do you see the trend yet? Easily mistaken as one of the previous two Looks.

Number Eighty-Six: I am so done

This means you should stop. Or that you're really thick. Honestly, it can go either way.

Number Eighty-Seven: Shut up/stop or I will claw your face off

Very closely related to Numbers Ninety-Three, Seventy-Two, Thirty-Five, and Nineteen except much more feral and wild. When you see this look, back off or hit 'em with a stunner. It's better for everyone that way.

Number Eighty-Eight: You owe me. Big time

Usually tossed out when suffering for friendship. Closely related to Number Thirty-Two. Make sure you keep track of who gives you this look and what you did to earn it as they more than likely will collect.

Number Eighty-Nine: Deal with it

HOW DID WE NOT PUT THIS HIGHER ON THE LIST! I blame Padfoot. When in doubt, always blame Padfoot. Okay! So, this one is a rather unimpressed look with a hint of challenge. Use when friends are being idiots. (As you can no doubt infer, we the Marauders use this one [or have it used on us] a lot.)

Number Ninety: Who knew, right?

We believe that this title says it all.

Number Ninety-One: Get out of my room, Numbskull

Photograph provided by the Brothers Black. Again, the title says it all, though we highly recommend following instructions here. Especially if it's a Black giving you that look. Particularly if said Black is a Spell Crafter/Applied Runes Expert.

Number Ninety-Two: They can do it too!

Substitute a name for 'they' and your current activity for 'it' and you have a very versatile Look. Usually paired with Four and sometimes Eighty-Nine if it's a good surprise(which is usually what this look means).

Number Ninety-Three: Shut up

Disgruntled and annoyed. Nigh on universal.

Number Ninety-Four: It's a trap/ambush!

NO, PADFOOT, IT IS NOT A STAR WARS REFERENCE! Stupid mutt... anyway, used as a warning(though often too late) of an ambush/trap. If you see this look of horrified surprise/realization on a comrade's face, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Chances are, you're going to need to haul tail to get out of there. Try to avoid situations in which this look would be appropriate.

Number Ninety-Five: Oh here we go again

Hopefully, it's fond exasperation and not flat out annoyance, though there is a variation for that. There's one for resignation and fearful anticipation as well, but we hope you'll never be in that kind of situation and if you are... you should know your crazy best friend well enough to pick up on it.

Number Ninety-Six: Not while I'm eating

Most often seen on women. We strongly advise that you back the fudge off. You've been warned, mate.

Number Ninety-Seven: Get back to work

A must for any authority figure. The level of 'listen or be miserable/die' depends on the severity of look and reputation of the user. Treat with caution.

Number Ninety-Eight: You have a job, leave so I can do mine

Another one that it's just best to listen to. Especially if you're a Healer or Auror. Or work with dangerous... anything really.

Number Ninety-Nine: Go help them!

Seriously? What is with the Nineties and the doom and gloom? I can't even be witty here!

Number One Hundred: You... are a dork

Ah. Much better. Filled with fond exasperation, this look is used on those who are being, as the title suggests, a dork. Generally, one that can be answered with Number One Hundred and One or the universal look of 'well duh.' Can sometimes be mistaken for 'I love you,' another universal look We have not given a number.

Number One Hundred and One: You know you love me!

A cheeky rendition of the universal 'I love you' look. What? I just said we didn't give a number to the universal 'I love you,' not the cheeky/sarcastic version!

We the Marauders hope you find this compendium of looks useful and informative. There are many many other looks and uses for said looks, but this should get you started. Mischief Managed!