China Dolls and Their Various Uses
An Okita x Kagura fan fiction
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or any of its characters. But hey, I can dream I do, right?
The streets were bustling with people, everyone intent on reaching their respective destinations. Well, everyone except a certain red haired girl carrying an umbrella, who was walking along aimlessly. Pleasant sunshine poured down, and for once, a rare tranquility descended on Kabuki Cho.
Kagura found the peace vaguely unsettling; she half expected Tama to shoot a flamethrower at Gin chan any moment to scare him into paying rent, or the tax robbers to cause a giant mess as usual or to see Zura up to some new craziness, with Elizabeth accompanying him. But no, none of those things happened. It was truly a pretty day, her stomach was full, Gin chan had given her a holiday and there had been no wild deeds yet. Though she truly enjoyed the calm, Kagura decided that she was bored. Totally, utterly bored. Spotting an old lady selling sukonbu, she immediately hopped over, glad to find a way to waste the money she had 'taken' from Gin chan's drawer.
As she paid the lady for the snack, Kagura noticed a bunch of dolls lying next to her. There were some straw dolls, but what caught her attention was a Chinese doll, dressed in red, somehow looking a lot like her. The lady noticed her interest and said, "Ah, do you like the dolls? That's funny, those Chinese dolls look just like you, dear. Goodness me, I just noticed it now… I wonder, perhaps they were modeled after you?"
"But they must have been, Granny! After all, I'm the great queen of Kabuki Chou, yup! It's natural that I have my own line of merchandise, uh huh."
"If you say so, dear. But you do seem quite popular. It's not even been an hour, and one of the dolls has already been bought."
"Really?! Who bought it, granny?!"
"A sandy haired policeman, he had red eyes. He looked quite handsome and innocent…. I think he was a Shinsengumi officer…. Oh my, you look quite surprised, dear."
The old woman looked slightly concerned as she stared at the girl before her. She wondered why the girl looked so stunned at the description, was it perhaps someone she knew? Or… could it be someone special? But she barely got a chance to ask any questions as the girl grabbed her snacks and sped off in a blur.
Kagura's thoughts were racing faster than her feet, even as she ran towards the Shinsengumi compound. The sadist bought a toy replica of me? Why the hell would he do something like that? Is it because he wants to do his sadistic experiments on it? Or because he is head over heels in love with me, yes? Or was it for some perverted purposes…. Knowing that jerk, that's exactly what he would do, uh huh! But I'm gonna have to find out myself, yup!
Somewhere within the jumbled maze of her mind, a little thought bubbled up… I hope it's because he likes me like I like him… But that's too confusing, yes?
Soon, she was standing in front of the Shinsengumi compound, which was unusually peaceful for once. Without hesitating, Kagura marched in as if she owned the place, glancing around the area for a sign of the sadist. The rooms seemed to be empty, and the place wore a slightly desolated air, devoid of noisy policemen. Suddenly, her ears pricked up as a dreary chant floated on the air, sounding very much like 'Dieeee…'
Kagura wasted no time in rushing towards the source of the weird noise, expecting a number of wild and bloody scenarios, but the sight that met her eye left her utterly dumbstruck.
Okita Sougo, a.k.a the Sadist stood in front of a tree, chanting and throwing knives at a few targets nailed to it. The targets were all dolls; a very battered and mutilated one that closely resembled Hijikata Toushirou, a black haired one that was identical to Zura, a white duck who was clearly Elizabeth, and finally, a Chinese doll, dressed in red, holding an umbrella, which looked exactly like her.
Kagura could feel the rage bubbling up within her; the sadist had only bought the doll, the doll that resembled her so much, to perform black magic on it?! So that was what he thought of her, was it? He wanted her to die, did he? Just because he couldn't take out his sadistic tendencies on her, he took them out on her doll, did he? Well, he was damn well going to be exorcised by a furious Yato very soon….
Even as Sougo turned around to face her, she was rushing at him, brandishing her umbrella, yelling all the dirty insults she could think of. Just as quickly, he pulled out his sword, slashing at her, taunting her with equally caustic remarks. They went at it blow for blow, neither backing an inch. Smoke caused by the firing of a bazooka and an alien parasol filled the compound, which was rapidly disintegrating. Finally, the battle ended in a stalemate, Kagura's umbrella pointed at Sougo's stomach, and his sword pressed to hers.
For the first time since they had started fighting, Sougo spoke, "What's the big deal, China? I knew you Yatos were bloodthirsty, but rushing in to kill an innocent police officer without any reason? You do know you're worse than your brother, don't you?"
"Don't mention that idiot! And innocent my foot, you're the worst sadist in the universe, uh huh! What the hell were you doing with that doll, yes?!"
"Nothing."
"Huh? You were obviously wishing me dead, you evil sadist! I swear I'm gonna kill you one day! You'll regret insulting the queen of Kabuki Chou, uh huh!"
Sougo rolled his eyes at her threat, but even he was slightly, just a little, itty bitty bit alarmed at her rage. But well, there was no way in hell he was going to explain just why he had bought the dolls. He was not going to tell her that he had got the dolls to exorcise himself of the butterflies that pranced about in his stomach whenever she was around, along with the queer inability to think about anything else other than her deep blue eyes, unique vermilion hair, alabaster skin…. You do not tell your fiercest rival that you are head over heels in love with her.
Their staring contest ended when Kagura lowered her parasol and walked away without a second glance at Sougo. She really wanted to punch him in the face and permanently ruin those crimson eyes that sent her stomach into a tizzy whenever she looked into them. But hell, if she stayed any longer, she was pretty certain that she would be blurting all her feelings out like a flighty high school teenager from a shoujo manga, and well, she would sooner die than do that.
So she walked away without a word. Sougo too moved away in the opposite direction, muttering something about needing a drink. The Shinsengumi compound, now empty of people, looked even more eerie than before.
Later, when Hijikata returned from patrol, the cigarette hanging between his lips fell out as he saw the state of the area. Holes made by a bazooka and a gun filled almost all the walls, and the entire structure looked as if a midsummer breeze would blow it over.
"T-Toshi, d-do you think that is Sougo's and China san's doing?"
"Those teenage incarnates of the devil… WHY DON'T THEY JUST QUIT WRECKING EVERYTHING AND CONFESS ALREADY?! Zaki, get Sougo here and bring that useless Yorozuya too!"
"R-R-roger! Though I think that you're the true demon around here…."
A/N: Hey everyone! I'm sorry for posting after such a long time, but I've really been busy with coaching classes and exams and a hell lot of work. But I don't really want to make excuses, so I'm sorry again.
I hope you enjoyed this one shot, I think it's about the shortest story I've ever written. I wonder if you found it funny, or whether my attempt at humor is as hopeless as ever, tee hee. Please, can you take some time out to review and send me suggestions for improvement too; you don't know how happy that makes me! As always, follows, favorites, constructive criticism and anything else are very, very, much appreciated!
On a side note, a huge thanks to Lia, Brieanna-c, and the anonymous guest(s) for reviewing my story, "Cupid Always Finds His Targets…"!
Thanks a lot for reading and see you again in a new story!