hey roomfriends! i wrote this because i love the friendship between schmidt & jess and i'm sad that we haven't gotten to see much of it in the last few seasons sooo... remedied with a fanfic! there will be one chapter for each season of the show (plus a bonus because i'm COUNTING ON season 7). i tried to write them so they could all fit within canon, sort of like hidden scenes we just didn't get to see. mentions of nick/jess and schmidt/cece. schmidt/jess romance if you squint, but i didn't try to write it that way. to me, they're like brother & sister who sometimes joke about sleeping together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
that was gross but thanks for reading! 💜

SEASON 1: Kryptonite

"So, you're a closet Curly Sue fan, huh?" Jess asked as she came back from her room, DVD in hand.

"Yeaaah, speaking of which…" he replied, sitting up a little straighter on the couch. "I told the guys I couldn't go to the bar with them because I had a date tonight, so if you mention this to anyone, I will knife you."

She laughed and glared at him, a smug smile on her lips. "You'll knife me?" Schmidt nodded soberly, and her eyes grew a little wider before she turned back to the television. He rolled his eyes before joining her in staring at the screen; he was obviously joking, but he wasn't going to correct her if she actually thought he was serious. Jess could think he was a little dangerous, he didn't mind; maybe she'd even pass it on to her model-friend Cecelia. He had a feeling that girl liked a little danger.

"Schmidt, I just wanted to say…" she said softly, wringing her hands like she was nervous. Jess had a tendency to want to talk through everything, although not everything needed to be talked about. Schmidt wasn't used to being friends with girls, he didn't like having deep conversations and airing out his feelings unless he was getting something out of it (meaning, sex). He knew he shouldn't have come back into the loft, he'd feared she'd want to stay up all night gossiping and painting her nails, but he really hoped to just relax and watch a good, old-fashioned 90s romantic comedy.

"Jess, I'm not really a 'talk during the movie' kind of guy. I like to get my money's worth, you know?"

"But you didn't pay for anything, it's my DVD-"

"Shhh," he interrupted, pressing a finger to her lips before leaning away.

"Okay," she said, and mouthed "sorry." They turned their attention to the movie once more, sitting in silence as Jim Belushi came on the screen.

"I know, no talking," she began, and he rolled his eyes and groaned inwardly. "But, do you want some popcorn?" He frowned for a moment, going over calorie-counts in his mind.

"Sure," he replied. "But no butter."

She looked like he slapped her. "The butter is the best part!"

"Yeah, no salt either. Basically, no flavorings of any kind."

"So what, you just want it to taste like air!?"

"Look at this body Jessica, do you think this happens without work? I've already eaten my five small meals today, you're lucky I said yes to popcorn at all."

"Well you know what, Schmidt? I think you could stand to live a little," she teased, sticking her tongue at him while she walked into the kitchen.

That sounded dangerous. He still didn't know Jess well enough to decode her phrases. "What does that mean? Jess? What are you doing?"

"I'm making caramel corn, and you are gonna eat it with me!"

He scoffed. "Oh no I am not!"

"Yes, you are! And if you gain anything at all, I will personally go to the gym with you tomorrow and you can yell at me while you run off the extra calories."

That sounded fair, plus he didn't think she would ever back down, so he threw up his hands in defeat and settled deeper into the couch. Just because she made the caramel corn didn't mean he had to eat any. Jess went to work in the kitchen, humming to herself as she poured the kernels into the air popper. Why was she always singing? After a few minutes, the warm smell of caramel filled the loft, and he almost caught himself drooling before she came to rest beside him, the bowl of sinful treats in her hand. He hesitated before diving in, the sticky sugar coating his fingers more than he would have liked (but not enough to stop eating it).

"So...?"

"Alright fine, I admit it's better than the 'air' I wanted us to eat. Although I maintain that it's better to be healthy than filled with sugar and covered in caramel all the time."

"Fair enough," she sighed contentedly and laid her head against the back of the couch. "I can't believe people say this is the worst John Hughes movie, I love it!"

"Jess…"

"Right, sorry." She started fidgeting, like she just couldn't not be doing something. "I mean, this was Jim Belushi at his prime, and that little girl is just adorable. I like to think I was that cute when I was her age. She-"

"Woman, do you ever stop talking?" Hurt flashed through her eyes before she could stop it, and he felt guilty but really, did she ever stop? He groaned and apologized, and her eyes lit up again as she grabbed another handful of popcorn.

…

Time passed, and no, Jess didn't stop talking, but he didn't mind it as much as he thought he would. She actually didn't try to talk about anything deep or meaningful; Schmidt had come to realize that she just liked to talk. About nothing, about anything. And she seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say. It was kind of new, and he liked it. Pure, unadulterated friendship.

"And what did you say?" she choked out, tears of laughter stinging her eyes. They were both doubled over on the couch, reliving their earlier expedition to get her stuff back from her ex-boyfriend's house. He was glad she could laugh about it now; it was preferable to all the crying she had been doing this week. "'Schmidt happens?' That was really good! Did you just come up with that?"

"I've actually been trying to make it my catchphrase for a few years now." She raised her eyebrows at that. "All the guys I'm aiming to be have a catchphrase: 'Make it work,' 'Seacrest, out,' 'Alright, alright, alright!'"

"You want to be Tim Gunn, Ryan Seacrest, and... Matthew McConaughey?"

"Of course I do Jess, why wouldn't I? Those guys have everything."

She laughed again and sighed into the cushion, playing with the unpopped kernels in the bottom of the popcorn bowl. Suddenly her eyes lit up and she leaned forward, practically jumping off the couch. "Oh Schmidt, Tim Gunn!? Why didn't you tell me you watch Project Runway! I LOVE Project Runway! We should have viewing parties, we could dress up like our favorite judges and try to make high-fashion ball gowns out of stuff we find in Nick's room-"

"Aaaand, that's why I didn't tell you." She smirked at him, and he was glad to see she was finally understanding his sarcasm. They had a good rapport, she and him. It kind of felt like what he thought it would be to have a little sister.

"Anyway, I really appreciate everything you did for me with Spencer - all of you. You guys are amazing. I'm really lucky to live here," she murmured quietly, running her fingers through the tassels on their throw pillow. Schmidt blushed a little and looked away, this was the conversation he thought was coming and hoped to avoid. He didn't mind joking with her or debating the merits of all the John Hughes movies, but he didn't want to get too deep into "feelings" with this girl he just met a week or so ago. He actually didn't get deep with very many people; his father was never around, and his mother seemed like she'd rather be anywhere but in the same room as him. Nick was an exception of course, and he opened up a little with his college girlfriend Elizabeth, but never to anyone he didn't think was going to stick by his side long-term. Although, he wouldn't be surprised to see Jess hanging around the loft with them ten years from now. She seemed like the type to latch onto people and never let go.

"We don't mind having you around either, Jess." It was her turn to blush and she did so, her eyes shyly twinkling at him through her glasses. "Now please, just tell me you're done with that guy."

"I'm done," she said, her voice determined as if she was trying to tell it to herself. Schmidt tilted his head and stared at her, eyes narrowing. "No really, I mean it. I am done with that guy."

"And you're not gonna pick his girlfriend up from the airport next Sunday?"

"Well that's not fair, just because I'm done with Spencer doesn't mean that I can't be a good person and help others in need…"

"Jess, are you serious!?" She tried to hold her expression, but soon she started laughing and gave herself away. Was she being sarcastic with him now? "Wow. okay, you got me. That was good."

"Thank you." They shared a smile and he chuckled to himself, both focusing their attention back on the movie. It was almost over now, and he couldn't believe how long they had talked without realizing it.

"Also, can I just say one more thing? I'm honestly a little surprised that you haven't tried to hit on me tonight. I'm proud of you, Schmidt. You've grown so much in the last week I've known you."

"Yeah well, let's just say that I think you're off limits."

"Because I'm your roommate?"

"Yeah Jess, that's why. Because you're my roommate." And not at all because of a certain friend of his who hadn't been able to stop staring at Jess since the day she moved in. She shrugged with a smile and stood to refill their popcorn bowl. He sat back into the couch, watching as Jim Belushi seduced Kelly Lynch by playing the piano. Surely if someone like Belushi could get a girl like that, he could get Cece... right? He'll ask Jess when she comes back.

thank youuu for reading! hope to get "season2" up in the next couple of days. i have episode ideas for all the chapters, but let me know if there's something in particular you wanna see!