I sighed and collapsed against the soft white silk covers. This wasn't fair, I had been trying to get dressed for the Christmas ball for the past hour, and was still no closer to achieving my target. I had no idea why I was so nervous. Actually that's not strictly true I did know, but I didn't want to admit it. I was going with Nate tonight, and I felt stupid feeling this nervous. I mean I have known him for... well forever really. But know... know when he was around...

I just keep thinking about how he's always there. When I need someone he's always there, no matter what I've done, Nate is always there for me. And I don't know why? I honestly have never done anything to deserve that, to deserve someone quite as good as Nate. He's just... better than me?

"Serena?" Nate called. I looked at the clock, and realised that I was even further behind than I had thought.

"Err, in a minute." I grabbed the first dress that I had discarded. A floor length emerald green halter neck, and slipped on a pair of silver heeled sandals that the dress covered entirely. I walked out and paused for a second before smiling at Nate. It amazed how good he made the plain black suit look. Seriously, and it made my heart stop the way his soft smile washed across his face when he saw me.

"You look great." He said, I just smiled and nodded at him. Recently it seemed like his seal of approval was the only one I needed. It was the only one I cared about.

"So, you ready?" I asked wanting to get the butterflies out of my stomach. I had them every time I saw Nate now. It started, well really started that night he stayed with me in the hospital when no-one else did. I just felt... safe when he was there. Like as long as he was with me, nothing could ever hurt me.

"Yeah." He said, seeming oddly disappointed. I linked my arm through his and walked over to the elevator. As the elevator began it's slow descent (had it always gone this slow?) I looked over at Nate who seemed to be looking at anything apart from me. Not that I could blame him really, I had just left when he had put himself on the line. I wanted more than anything to tell him that I felt that way too. But I didn't posses enough courage to ever to tell him what I felt.

As we got out of the elevator (after what seemed like an eternity) we walked the short distance to the limo. As he held the door open for me, I couldn't help but smile. It was like he was right out of a fairytale, Nate always seemed to fit the profile of the "prince": handsome, charming, caring and well all round perfect really.

"Are you OK?" he asked me concern filing his voice and face, I smiled and nodded "It's just you seemed in your own little world for a while."

"Well SerenaLand is a fun place to stay." I laughed, and saw that amazing smile together.

"I'm sure it is." He smiled, the rest of the journey passed by in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. I couldn't stop myself stealing glances at him. As the car stopped Nate got out and offered me his arm to help me out. I laughed as once again I linked arms with him. I was sure if someone saw us right now they would think we were a couple. I sighed before Nate started to walk causing me to begin move forward as well.

As per normal the hall was decorated in the most elaborate decorations. Not like the kind of things I liked, I liked trees to be bursting with colour, these trees were covered in neutral tones, which didn't exactly scream Christmas, but I would never tell this to anyone, the committee in charge of it wouldn't take it well.

I saw Chuck and Blair across the dance floor and raised my left hand slightly, my right arm still interlinked with Nate's left. As I about to suggest we go over Nate cut across me.

"Would you like to dance?" The moment his eyes met mine the yes slipped my mouth instantly. As he led me out to the dance floor and turned me slightly, then twirled me ever so slightly. As I turned around to face him I smiled up at him. As his head started to lower I took a step back.

"Nate we can't..." I started but he cut across me.

"Serena, I love you." He said.

"Nate." I said looking around at the room full of people.

"We can talk about us outside if..."

"Nate, there is no us! OK. I just want to be friends." As I turned I fought the tears that were currently stinging my eyes. As I got out of the door and was about to go into the limo I heard an indigent voice shout my name. If anyone I had expected Nate to come out, not Blair.

"What?" I asked her, not really up to arguing with her, so whatever I had done I just hope she didn't shout too much, even if I couldn't think of anything I had done to her.

"Are you crazy?" she asked looking my right in the eyes.

"What?" I asked, I had no idea where she was coming from.

"You just left Nate like that."

"Oh." Was all I could say.

"Oh. That's it? You left him, for the third time now, after he said how much he wants to be with you. If you don't like him, just tell him and don't keep giving him hope. It's not right."

"Blair..."

"No! I don't see how you can like people like Tripp and Carter and no..." Blair's voice was tinted with distaste and anger. And my own anger was growing.

"Because they couldn't hurt me!" I screamed at her then upon realising what I had done my hand shot up to cover my mouth.

Blair's eyes grew in shock and confusion. "What?" she asked.

Deciding that she wouldn't let the subject go until I told her the truth I looked away from her. "Carter and Trip... They... Well everyone knew they wouldn't work, including me. And if I knew what was happening what would happen beforehand then it couldn't hurt me if and when they left. With them I knew that I couldn't get hurt because I always expected the worst."

I stopped then to wipe away the tears that had started to slowly fall. "But Nate... Nate..."

Blair's eyes softened then, and as she held my hand softly she prompted me to carry on.

"Nate, well I can't see anything going wrong. I can see myself falling completely in love with him, I even think I love him slightly just now! And if that happens, when that happens... I couldn't handle it when he leaves, and he will leave."

"You don't that." Blair told me her voice soft and caring opposed to her harsh and judging tone earlier.

I nodded my head. "But I do. They all leave. And I'd rather be friends with Nate, than not have Nate at all."

"S, Nate isn't like that."

"What if I make him hate me?" I asked tears freely falling now and I made no attempt to wipe them away as more would fall, so it would be pointless.

"That could never happen." A soft voice from behind us said. We both turned around, shocked to find Nate there. While he was looking at me, Blair took the opportunity to go back inside, leaving us standing outside.

"I couldn't stand it, if you hated it." I whispered.

"I could never hate you." He replied taking a step closer to me. I just shook my head and looked towards the ground. "Serena." He said lifting my chin so I was looking into his eyes, those magnificent eyes that made me want to melt. "Tell me you don't love me, and I'll go. I'll never bring it up again, and we can still be friends."

Looking into his eyes I tried to say the words but I couldn't get the words out. How could I? How could I deny my feelings when he was making me face up to them? This time I couldn't run, I couldn't do what I always do, run when I get scared.

"Nate... I..." I tried but I couldn't get the words out. Staring into his eyes, made me realise how much he cared for me and made me want to melt. This time as his head lowered I made no attempt to move, instead my eyes seemed to flutter close by their own accord as my arms went around his neck, as his arms went around my waist to pull me closer. As we pulled away we both wore slight smiles.

"So now what?" he asked? I just smiled at him. Who knew what now? All I knew in that moment was that I loved Nathaniel Archibald.