Summary: Fred and George take up the new talent of spying
Summary: Fred and George take up the new talent of spying. They tell their story of Harry and Ginny trying to have a romantic relationship in between their studies. They also spy on Hermione while she is studying impulsively for her N.E.W.T.S. that are coming up, while Ron tries to 'hint' to Hermione his true feelings for her. If this isn't enough it happens that Draco Malfoy has a little secret that will destroy his reputation when it comes in the hands of the two red headed, mischievous twins.
Warning: Kissing, Hugging, Hand Holding, A Secret Diary, Romantic Situations, and two very psychotic, under-cover twins spying! It should also be noted that I wrote this one-shot before the sixth Harry Potter book came out.
George ran into a shop in Hogsmade very well known throughout the Hogwarts students who visited often. It was a small shop with a completely subtle and mysterious name -- Fred and George's Joke Shop.
Fred and George were former Hogwarts students. They were sorted into Gryffindor, as was most of their family.
They were known as the 'clowns' of the school, always cracking jokes or messing with the teachers and students. Once they graduated Hogwarts they had the brilliant idea to open their own joke shop. So, now we find them out of Hogwarts, running their own business, and visiting Hogwarts -- their old home -- frequently.
"Fred! Fred! I have the most brilliant idea!" George panted, hurriedly running into the shop.
"What is it now, George?" Fred asked with a hint of annoyance.
"Well, we need more jokes. Obviously our stuff isn't good enough for the students now. Dare I say it, our jokes are outdated, mate."
"And..." Fred said, still annoyed at his brother's untimely interruption.
"Well, we should go spy on the students at Hogwarts to get more information. I always thought of myself as 'spy material,'" George said proudly.
"You did?"
"Of course I did! Now, what do you think of my idea? I personally think it's brilliant."
"Well...we certainly would get many ideas," Fred replied, brightening up to the idea.
"True."
"So it wouldn't really be a waste of time."
"Exactly!" George shouted, pumping his fist into the air.
"And we can spy on Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny. I'm sure they won't mind," Fred said, ever more excitedly.
"Of course they won't," George agreed.
"And we can get Dumbledore to tell us the password to hideout in the common room."
"Yeah! Like the time we got him to spill the Slytherin password. I wonder if he knew that we were going in there at the exact same time they were holding a meeting. They did look a little shocked."
"You know what, I don't think he knew. Pity," Fred said with a shake of his head.
"I agree, Fred. Now back to the plan. When shall we leave?"
"How about tomorrow?" Fred suggested.
"That will work. But how about a butterbeer first?"
"I would love a carbonated beverage right about now, George. You always need a good drink before a major mission. It helps you get the job done."
"How would you know?"
"I am not at liberty to discuss this!"
"Sure, Fred."
So the two brothers walked out of their shop and headed toward the bar for a good butterbeer. When they walked in they saw it was practically empty. They headed over to a two seated table with a single candle on it and a small flower for decoration.
After finishing their butterbeers, and chatting up with the local, single women, they headed out the door when Fred suddenly stopped.
"What is it, Fred?" George asked.
"A stray cat," Fred replied with fear, although George didn't think Fred was afraid of anything.
"So..."
"Hermione told me about stray cats once. She said they were bad luck in the Muggle world. What if we have bad luck during our mission?" Fred asked.
"That's impossible! We'll never get caught!" George said confidently.
"You know what? You're absolutely right! We're the three musketeers! We'll always win!" Fred said with more confidence now.
"Yes! The three musketeers we are!" George exclaimed.
Then they both gave each other a high five and walked back to their houses above the joke shop with their heads held high...for they were the three musketeers!
The next day the two men headed towards the castle up on the hill, also known as Hogwarts. They entered the castle quite easily and headed first towards the Gryffindor common room. They knew everyone would be in class, so they could easily sway the Fat Lady in the portrait to let them in and hide in time for them to hear the students.
They went into the common room after the portrait let them in, charmed by whatever line they threw her way, and they were in there for only five minutes when they heard two people come in and land on the couch, kissing each like crazy.
When they took a peek to see who it was they were amazed by who they saw: Harry and Ginny.
"That little-"
"George! Shh! They'll hear us," Fred whispered.
"He's kissing our little Ginny," George replied, indignantly.
"We're spies. We can't have emotions get in the way, remember?" Fred reminded George.
"Fine," George said with a huff, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "But when we're done with this spying business Harry's getting a piece of my mind."
"Agreed."
All of the sudden Harry screamed.
"Harry, what is it?" Ginny asked, alarmed.
Harry reached in his back pocket and took out his wand. "I've broken it."
They both burst out laughing and Fred swore he heard George let out a small chuckle. They Harry and Ginny got back to the dreadful --according to Fred and George -- kissing.
After a half hour of making out, Harry and Ginny were off to their classes. Within minutes Fred and George, still hidden and spying on their old classmates, heard the door open to see Hermione make her way over to the desk by the window.
"There's little Miss Prissypuss..." Fred said, motioning his head over to Hermione who was hunched over a book and parchment on a desk.
"Now, Fred, it's not nice to make fun of our future sister-in-law."
"Our what?" Fred asked.
"You don't know?"
"Know what?" Fred asked, now becoming more alarmed.
"Our little Ronnie has a crush on Miss Prissy- I mean...Hermione."
"Since when?"
"Since third year, genius," George replied.
"Oh, I knew that," Fred said, turning back to Hermione.
Then Ron walked into the common room and sank onto a couch by Hermione and moaned.
"You think with the N.E.W.T.S. coming up that they would give us less homework," Ron complained.
"Ron, stop complaining and start studying."
"Why? You're doing that for all of us," Ron told her.
"Well, I'm just stressed that I won't pass the test. I mean, what if I get a bad grade? I won't be able to look in the mirror again. I would die," Hermione said dramatically.
"Hermione, you always get a good grade," he assured her.
"But there's a first time for everything, isn't there, Ronald?"
"Sure, but-"
"But nothing, Ron. I just want to make sure I will get a perfect mark," Hermione said, turning back to her studies.
"Okay, Hermione."
After a moment of silence Ron spoke up again.
"Say, Hermione. After all this studying, when will you find time for a boyfriend?"
"Boyfriend?" Hermione asked, distracted by her book.
"Yeah, you know. A guy goes out on date with a girl and-"
"I know the whole concept, Ron," Hermione snapped.
"Okay. So, when do you think you'll find the time?" he asked.
"I'm not sure, Ron. Why do you ask?"
"Um, well, nothing. Nothing at all. I'm going to go upstairs. I'll see you at dinner," Ron said suddenly and bolted up the stairs to the boys dormitory.
Fred and George looked at each other and smiled.
"He seems to need a little help, now doesn't he, George?" Fred asked mischievously.
"I would say he does," George replied.
"And since we love him very much..."
"...we should help him out a little with his love life."
"I mean that is what brothers are for, now aren't they?"
"I completely agree. So once we get her out of here we'll head up to her room and place this note..." George flicked his wand and appeared a note, much like a love note from Ron to Hermione, and a single red rose. "...and once we place it on her bed we can head out of here. It's a little stuffy don't you think?"
Fred sniffed and said, "I believe you are absolutely right, George. As always."
So once Hermione was off to her next class, they ran up to the girls dormitory and placed the note on her bed and left to sneak outside and hide on the edge of the Forbidden Forest.
They were in the Forbidden Forests for five minutes when George heard something in the bushes and grabbed his wand to defend himself. There was rustling in the bush and he worked out a spell and it almost hit Fred, except for the fact that he dashed a little to the left at the last minute.
"George! What was that for?" Fred asked, brushing the dirt off his pants.
"I thought something was in the bush," George said pitifully.
"There's nothing in the bush, George. And you almost hit me!"
"Sorry about that, mate."
After another ten minutes they decided that being in the Forbidden Forest wasn't a good idea so they went back inside when they stumbled over something: it was a red book.
"Interesting...it could be evidence. We should of course look at it," Fred stated.
"Evidence for what?" George asked.
"George!"
"Ah, yes, evidence," George said, catching on.
"Exactly," Fred replied with a wink.
They opened up the book and saw something that until this day they wish they hadn't. It was Draco Malfoy's diary! And there were pictures -- many pictures -- with captions under them for their purpose in his diary.
The first picture was one of Hermione and Ron fighting each other. Under it the caption read, When will they admit they want to shag each other, already?
Then there was another picture of Professor Snape and Professor Sprout talking in secret. The caption read, I wonder what these guys do in their spare time... I wonder...
Then there was a picture of Harry and the caption read, What a cutie!
Fred and George immediately slammed the book shut and packed it in their 'official spy backpack' as they like to call it. Then they were off to hide right outside the Great Hall where they hoped they'd get some action. Once they got there they hid behind some statues where they would never be found, or at least, where they thought they'd never be found. Suddenly, they heard Ron and Hermione coming towards them.
"Ron, I am so busy with my studies. I need time to study not to have boyfriends. And why do you keep asking?" Hermione said, frustratedly.
"It's just a question, Hermione," Ron replied.
"If I wasn't mistaken, which I surely never am, unless...what if I get most of the questions wrong? I'll die. How could I ever give any respect to myself again? I mean-"
"Hermione! Finish your first thought...please!" Ron said, exasperated.
"Fine. Well, if I wasn't mistaken, then I would guess you had a crush for me, Ronald Weasley," Hermione said confidently, yet blushing all the same.
"I do not...well, you have no proof!" Ron sputtered.
"Yes I do," Hermione said.
"Really? And what is that?" Ron asked, seeming nervous now.
"This..." Hermione ran up to Ron and wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. And too no one's surprise, he kissed her back. After minutes and minutes -- at least it seemed that long to Fred and George -- the two were done kissing.
"Finally..." George whispered.
"Shhh!"
"Oh, and thanks for the rose, Ron." Hermione said, heading into the Great Hall for dinner.
Ron stood there for a second before saying to himself, "What rose?" Then he too entered the Great Hall.
Once everyone was in the Great Hall and feasting, did Fred and George remember they hadn't eaten in a long time.
"George..."
"What, Fred?"
"I'm hungry."
"How are we supposed to get food?" George asked.
"I guess I never thought of that," Fred admitted.
"Great plan," George said sarcastically.
"Thanks!" Fred said with a smile, obviously not catching the sarcasm.
"Fred," George sighed. "Lets get some food...now!"
"Well, everyone's eating. Lets just sneak across the door into the kitchen on the other side," Fred suggested.
"What if one of the students sees us?"
"They won't. Trust me."
"Fine. On the count of three, run. One..."
"Two..."
Ring...ring
"What the?"
"Oops."
"Fred, what is that?"
"It's a phone cell. Angelina gave it to me to call whenever she wanted to talk to me," he explained.
"Don't you mean a cell phone?" George asked.
"Whatever. How do you get this Muggle thing to stop ringing?" Fred asked, hitting random buttons on the little device.
"I don't know, but hurry."
"I'm trying...I'm trying."
"Fred, why is it so quiet inside the Great Hall?" George suddenly asked.
They then both turned their heads to see the whole school of Hogwarts staring at them with questionable looks.
"And what do we have here?" Dumbledore asked, amused.
"Hi, professor. Miss us?" Fred asked, jokingly.
"Indeed I did. But might I ask what you are doing here?" Dumbledore inquired.
"Visiting Ronnie and Ginny, of course." George said.
"You should have informed us of such trespassing then, Weasley," Snape sneered at them
"We weren't trespassing, we were visiting." George stated.
"And how did you get in?" Snape asked.
"Through the doors, of course," Fred replied with a smirk.
"Weren't they locked?" McGonnogal asked.
"Nope. And you should really check on that, you know," George said.
"Indeed. I'm sure we will after this little visit is over with," Snape replied.
"Now, Mr. and Mr. Weasley, will you please explain to us why you have really come?" Dumbledore asked.
"Okay, okay," George said, admitting defeat.
"But first..." Fred began. "Lets start with Draco Malfoy..."
Author's Note: I wrote this story for my LJ Hogwarts community contest. And since I liked it --and finished it -- I thought I'd post it up. Thanks for reading! Please review!