Untimely Regrets

A Persuasion What-If where Fredrick is told the last thing that he expected, leading to heartbreak and many regrets.

A/N: So this is my first fanfic ever, and probably my last. I wrote it years ago while in the midst of the HSC and all its craziness, procrastinating offcourse, and all of this just poured out in one late night type-fest. I just recently found it and decided to edit it and post it up. It's not too long but I'm proud of it. I love reading what-if regency based austen fanfic, so decided that its time that I contributed something back.

Anyway, so here it is…my first and probably last fanfic. Enjoy :)

Part 1 – Unexpected News

The light from the setting sun was streaming through the single window, striking against Fredrick's bowed face and creating stark angles across his gloomy visage. He stared at the last drop of brandy in his glass, as he debated with himself on whether to ask Croft about someone who had tormented his mind for the last eight years. He recounted countless sleepless nights on the ship with his mind in turmoil, one moment wistfully wondering what she might be doing and the next almost shaking with anger at her betrayal and broken promise. Those first few months had been the worst, but although he no longer thought about her every moment, as eight years is indeed a long time, thoughts of her did always lurk at the back of his mind, ready to reappear at the most inconvenient moments. Visiting his sister at her new home, rented following a return to England after an overly extended period of time at sea due to Croft's naval duties, did not help matters, with the mere sight of a familiar tree bringing back a flood of memories.

After wrestling with himself for a few minutes, he finally gave in. He knew he could not rest until he had found out at least some information. However, he had to be subtle. It would do no good for Croft to find out about his disappointment after so many years of painfully concealing it.

Fredrick cleared his throat. "Ughmm, um Admiral? I was just thinking about your new neighbours. I knew several of them during those years that I lived with Edward in this area."

Admiral Croft looked up at Fredrick, interrupted from his contemplation of the depressingly slight heat being given off by the small fire.

"Oh, yes, I was just thinking on that the other day, Sophie and I finding ourselves settling into the same exact area as you and Edward all those years ago. A fair coincident that isn't it?" the Admiral said, smiling softly.

Fredrick nodded his head slowly whilst holding back a cringe.

"Yes, a nice coincidence. Anyhow I was just now thinking about those neighbours that I once knew. Do you … that is, have you heard anything … about any of them that might be … new to me?" he finished lamely, too nervous to actually mention the Elliots, the house of which they currently occupied.

Admiral Croft looked at Frederick with a slightly quizzical expression, wondering at his sudden curiosity about the neighbours. However after a moment he attributed it to plain boredom.

"Oh, well I do not know them much. I have not had a chance to visit much since we've moved in really. Haven't had the chance to hear the gossip."

Frederick frowned slightly. He had hoped to at least get some news of her.

Suddenly Admiral Croft's eyes lit up. "Oh yes! I almost forgot, I did hear something mentioned at the ___ house two nights ago that drew my interest slightly, only because I think I recall the name being mentioned in a letter written by you or Edward all those years ago accompanied by a funny little anecdote. It was probably one of your letters now that I think on it. Anyhow, that terribly gossipy woman, don't recall her name, well mentioned that there had been some tragic occurrence to the Elliots, although I never heard of anything when I came to see this place. Do you remember them Frederick? No? Well it's no wonder, it is a while ago. And my memory is certainly not what it used to be, oh no, why just the other day I was speeding through the hallways so swiftly that I bumped into poor Clyde when I turned a corner, and after righting the poor fellow, I just plum forgot what I was in such a hurry for! Can you believe it? Quite absurd."

Frederick scowled in impatience, wondering when Croft was going to get to the actual news. He dared not even think of what it could mean. "The news Admiral?"

"Oh, um, well yes. As I was saying, some tragic news. Apparently, one of Elliot's daughter's, the middle one I believe, had a dreadful carriage accident whilst travelling. I believe she was retuning to her home from a visit to someplace or another and when turning at a bend the carriage simply toppled over. I always thought those contraptions dangerous things, and the young men these days travel at such fast speeds! It's simply horrendous. Why these accidents are just waiting to happen, aren't they?

"Croft! What happened to the young lady?"

The Admiral glanced at him quizzically before picking up a book from the table beside him, inspecting it while he answered, he thought he had seen an oily smudge on its surface.

"Oh, yes. Well she had a nasty fall and died a few hours after the accident."

At this point Admiral Croft continued on, talking about the tragedy of young deaths, but Frederick wasn't listening. As soon as he heard the word "died" he felt his heart lurch and his body go numb. As he felt himself starting to shake, he managed to choke out "Are you sure that this was the middle Elliot daughter?"

The Admiral continued to attempt to find the mysterious smudge as he answered "Oh yes, quite sure. You see the woman said that it happened after the young woman gave birth to her first child. So, as I was earlier informed that the eldest Elliot daughter hasn't married yet, I knew it must have been the middle child, as I believe the youngest is still quite small as I overheard someone complaining about her tantrums. Apparently the young woman in the accident was a pretty little thing. It's such a shame." At this point, satisfied that he had just imagined the smudge, the Admiral put the book down and looked up at Frederick.

"Why Frederick!" Croft exclaimed in shock. "What's the matter? You're as white as a ghost! Are you feeling ill?"

Frederick shook his head as he stood up from his chair.

"No, no it's nothing. I think I just need a little rest. I guess I'm more tired from my journey then I thought."

"Offcourse, offcourse! How inconsiderate of me. You just go on up to bed and have a rest. Why you know Sophia would kill me if she knew that I had made you fall sick with my talking and going on. You just go on up. Don't mind me."

Frederick managed to give the Admiral a small smile as he made his way to the Library door, trying with all his might to keep himself together until he reached the privacy of his chambers.

He had no idea how he got there, but as soon as he found himself closing his guest chamber's door, Fredrick immediately dropped down onto the bare wooden floor with his head resting between his folded arms and bended knees. At first he just shock violently, trying to get a grasp onto the idea that Anne was dead, that HIS beautiful sweet Anne was dead. And for so many years! All this time she had been gone and he hadn't even known about it. It wasn't until later when Frederick had somehow made his way into his bed that he realised that he had never hated Anne. No, at that moment he realised that he always had and always would love his Anne, even though this revelation had come too late. That night Frederick, after shivering and shaking and sobbing like he had not done since the night his mother died well into the night, fell asleep with tears on his cheeks and an aching heart.

A/N: So that was the first part. So what do you think? Love? Hate? I appreciate any sort of feedback.

samy