THE BEST STORY EVER WRITTEN PART FOUR HOLY FUCKING SHIT YES

A/N:

To every single one of you who reviewed, you guys rock and definately inspire me to keep churning out this parody stuff. You're all awesome and I want to kidnap every single one of you and lock you in my basement! The police might call it 'abduction', but I call it 'love'. :D (And yes, larca336, I'm a big JTHM fan.)

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OKAY so like the last time I left off, Raphael got sand in his vagina about how fucking awesome my storytelling skills were, and they are indeed fucking awesome and don't you deny it, you little bitches. I just killed Sara, by the way.

Sara: AAAAAH I'M DEAD! OH NO!

Mika: Haha, owned.

So then the Amazing Awesome Michael goes to the store and buys a huge bag of birdseed, then he opens it up and throws it on Sara's decaying corpse and seagulls eat her! HOLY SHIT SEAGULLS!

Seagulls: Mm, tastes like Desperation.

Sara's Decaying Corpse: AAAH I'M BEING EATEN BY SEAGULLS! OH NO!

Meanwhile, Setsuna the Nippleless Wonder is wandering about, half-maddened from blood loss and trauma and dragging his bitch Sakuya around.

Sakuya: Oh my god. I am so angsty because I'm Lucifer. Grooooar angst.

Setsuna: Nipples...ni...nnn...

So Setsuna's moaning and staggering around, jibbering about nipples, and Sakuya's angsting, like he normally does, and then MICHAEL LIKE COMES OUT OF NOWHERE! HOLY SHIT!

Sakuya: Oh, it's my Amazing and Tall and Muscular Brother Michael, who is Superior To Me In Every Way. Wow, you're so much better than me, even your aura of power alone is overwhelming to be around.

Mika: I know! I fucking rock your ASS, Lucifer!

Sakuya: Yes, you do. In fact, you're so super cool that I'm resigning from my position as Lord of Hell and giving it to you instead!

Mika: HELL YEAH BITCH.

And then, while Sakuya's groveling before the AMAZING MICHAEL-SAMA, Setsuna goes crazy and - holy SHIT - tries to steal Kira's nipples!

Setsuna: -diving on top of Kira and clawing at his shirt- Nnng... must... have... NIPPLES!

But Michael takes pity on Sakuya and, using his amazing powers of nipple protection, throws Setsuna into a tree and kills him or something. I donno. I'm tired of writing this shit. I want a sandwich.

Mika: GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH, SAKUYA.

Sakuya: Do you want bologna or cheese on it, Michael-sama?

Mika: CHEESE.

Sakuya: Okay.

Mmmf, sammich.

AND SO MICHAEL MOVES TO HELL, TAKES OVER, AND EVERYTHING IS FUCKING GREAT. He also fires Asmodeus because no one likes him anyway and hires Teddy Roosevelt in his place.

Teddy Roosevelt: Woohoo!

Mika: Yeah! Teddy Roosevelt, you're fucking awesome!

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To be continued?

A/N: Eheheh. Yeah, I had no idea what the hell was going in this chapter.. but then again, when I write this kind of stuff, I never do. This particular series just sort of takes off in whatever inane direction it wants. I did like the Sara-getting-eaten-by-seagulls bit, though.