Now, It's Final
Detective James J. Ellison stood at attention by the graveside of his partner and his friend, Detective Blair J. Sandburg. The service had been over for almost half an hour, but still Jim stood there. He didn't want to let go yet. He didn't want it to be final.
TWO WEEKS EARLIER
Blair Sandburg was always running late. It was the one constant in his life. And the one that most annoyed his friend and partner, Jim Ellison. This morning was no different than any other morning.
"C'mon, Sandburg! Get a move on in there! Simon wants us in place by 8:00 AM sharp! If we're late, you're going to explain it to him."
Blair Sandburg came out of his bedroom, half dressed. He was buttoning his shirt with one hand and holding his shoes and socks in the other hand.
"I'm sorry, Jim! I just couldn't get going this morning. I'll be ready in 5 minutes tops! I'll get coffee at the station."
"Quit talking, Sandburg and get in gear!"
Blair sat down on the chair and put on his socks and shoes. He got up three minutes later. And he was ready to go. Jim handed him his coat and gently pushed him out of the door, locking it behind them. They got into the station and up to Major Crime in the allotted time. Sparing Blair an explanation to Captain Simon Banks.
Most of the day was spent on the stakeout for the robbers they had been tracking most of the last week. Jim had been assigned as lead detective in the case since it had been high-profile places that were being robbed. Simon wanted Ellison and Sandburg in the thick of things in case the robbers decided to become more adventurous. But nothing happened as far as the robberies went. Jim got them permission to go home early.
On the way home, Blair told Jim that he wanted to stop by the herb store to pick up some tea he was out of and some spices he wanted to try. Jim indulged the younger man, only because he knew that Blair really enjoyed going into the exotic store. After the first time, though, Jim didn't step foot inside the store. It was torture on his senses. Even if he had Blair beside him to help to dial down his senses. Jim pulled up in front of the store and placed his hand on Blair's arm.
"Don't take all day, Chief. I want to have supper at a decent time. Okay?"
"Okay, Jim. It shouldn't take me more than 10 to 15 minutes."
"I'll expect you in a half an hour then."
"Ha! Ha! Real hilarious, Jim."
Blair got out of the truck and walked towards the doors of the Asian Experience. Jim took his eyes off Blair and concentrated instead on the antics of three squirrels about half a block down the street. The explosion was totally unexpected. Jim whipped his head around, trying to spot Blair. But he couldn't find him. Jim grabbed his cell phone and called 911, demanding police, fire and paramedics as soon as possible. Then Jim jumped out of the truck and got as close as he could to the building. He still didn't see Blair in the rubble of the building. He tried to zone in on where the door had been, but there was nothing there now. Jim pulled back before he zoned on the destruction. It wouldn't do anybody any good if he zoned now. Jim heard the sirens coming towards the location. He waited until the firemen got out of their truck.
"Were you here when it happened?"
Jim got out his badge and showed it to the firemen.
"Yes, I'm Detective James Ellison, Major Crime, Cascade Police Department. My partner went inside, just as it blew."
"Do you know what caused the explosion?"
"No. I wasn't able to get too near. I haven't found Blair yet. That's my partner. I don't know how many others were inside the shop."
"Okay, Detective Ellison. We'll try to find your partner. You stay here out of the way."
Jim reluctantly turned away and walked back to his truck. But he kept an eye towards the destruction. He got out his cell phone and called Simon Banks at the station. He knew that Simon would want to know what happened.
"Banks."
"Simon, it's Jim. There's been an incident. It's Blair."
"What happened, Jim?"
"We were on our way home when Blair told me he wanted to stop by the Asian Experience to get some tea and herbs. As soon as he opened the door, the place blew up."
"What about Sandburg?"
"I don't know, sir. The firemen are searching the area, looking for him. I couldn't filter things out when I tried to find him. I don't know if he's alive or dead."
"Okay, Jim. I'll be there in 10 minutes."
"Sure, Simon."
It was about the time Simon arrived when the firemen carried Blair's limp body out of the shop. They laid him down on the waiting gurney and Jim was immediately over by his side. He took Blair's limp right hand in his.
"Hold on, buddy. I'm right here. Hang on."
"Sir? We need you to move back. We need to evaluate him."
Jim reluctantly backed away. He felt the hand on his shoulder and turned to face Simon Banks who had just found him.
"It's not good, Simon. They have to do CPR. He's not breathing on his own. He has numerous broken bones. Oh, God! What if he doesn't make it?"
"Jim? Don't go off half-cocked. I need your full attention here. I'll need a report of everything that happened."
"I didn't see the explosion. I was looking elsewhere. Blair usually takes so long in the store, chatting with everyone there. I turned when I heard the explosion. I tried to find Blair, but I couldn't."
"Okay, okay, Jim. Let me drive you to the hospital. It looks like they're ready to transport Sandburg."
Jim let himself be led to Simon's car. He got into the passenger's side and closed the door. Simon followed the ambulance to Cascade General Hospital. Along the way, he phoned Joel and told him where he was and why. He promised to call later with more news.
Jim didn't listen to the conversation. Truth be told, if he had concentrated, he wouldn't be able to hear Joel's end of the conversation. His Sentinel abilities were muted. He knew it in the back of his mind, but he didn't want to accept it.
They reached the hospital and waited in the ER for word about Blair. Before the doctor had come out, Brian, Henri and Megan joined them. They explained that Joel had stayed at the station in case anything came up. All of them waited solemnly in the family room right off the ER. Finally, after about two hours, a doctor came to the room.
"Are you here for Blair Sandburg?"
"Yes. I'm his partner, Jim Ellison. These are his co-workers."
"Mr. Sandburg is in very critical condition. We're going to try to take him up to surgery to see what we can do. He coded twice on the table while we were assessing the damages. Does he have any immediate family in town or nearby?"
"Not in town. He only has his mother and she's usually hard to get hold of. I'm down as Power of Attorney for any procedures or life-threatening situations."
"Yes, I notice that now, Mr. Ellison. We're going to take him up to surgery and see what we can do. You can wait in the waiting room up on the third floor. And you can fill out the necessary approval forms and information. But I have to tell you, it will probably be some time before we come out to talk to you."
"If it's all the same to you, doctor, I'll wait. Blair is like a brother to me."
"Whatever you want, Mr. Ellison."
The whole group went up to the waiting room. It was almost 10 hours later when the doctor came to see them. By that time, Jim was the only one still awake. He turned when he heard the door opening.
"Are you here for Blair Sandburg?"
"Yes, I'm Detective Jim Ellison. Blair is my partner and my friend. How is he?"
"We have him listed in critical condition. We're keeping him in recovery for an extended amount of time. We don't know whether he'll survive or not. He's a real mess on the inside and there was only so much we were able to do for him in the condition he's in. And he also has a severe skull fracture."
"Can I see him?" Jim was hoping they would say yes. He had tried many times before, when Blair would be in the hospital. Jim was always able to see Blair.
"I'm sorry, detective. But we have him in a drug-induced coma right now, because of his physical condition. We are monitoring him closely. He wouldn't even know that you are here."
Jim didn't like the decision, but he accepted it. He turned back to the others. Most of them had waked up. Rafe was waking Megan. Jim walked over to stand beside Simon.
"Can you take me back to my truck, sir?"
"I'm driving you home, Jim. Someone else can bring your truck to the loft. Give your keys to Brown."
Jim got out his keys and handed them to Henri Brown. Henri took them before Jim could realize what he had done. Jim followed Simon to the elevator. He spoke to Simon.
"I have to find Naomi. I know Blair got a letter from her a few days ago. I don't know where he said she'd be. I didn't pay attention to what Blair was saying."
"It's okay, Jim. You'll find the letter and find out where she is. I'll help you look, if you want me to?"
"No, Simon. Blair doesn't like other people going through his things. I'll find the letter. I know where he keeps them."
Simon drove Jim back to the loft and offered again to go up with him. But Jim steadfastly refused.
"I'm okay, Simon. Really. I'll be fine."
Simon watched as Jim walked into the apartment building and disappeared from sight. He drove off, sending up a silent prayer that Blair survived his ordeal. He'd hate to think about Jim all alone.
Jim walked into Blair's bedroom and found the letters in the top drawer of the bureau there. He knew that was where Blair kept his letters from his mom. Jim opened the one on top and read it through.
'Blair –
I thought I'd drop a line to see how things are going. I'm headed off to another retreat. This one is in Boulder, Colorado. I know, I know. It is kind of cold this time of year, but we'll all be warm and content. I wish you could come and join me. Even if you brought Jim with you, it would be okay. I think I'm going to be staying here for almost a month. If you get some free time, just call and leave a message. I'll get it. It's called the Psychic Horizons Center & Church of Inner Light. Don't tell Jim that. He'll wonder what exactly that entails. If he does find out, tell him it's none of his business. The phone number is (303) 440-7171. I hope things are going well with you and Jim. Did you ever ask him about that thing we discussed the last time? You need to find out such things, Baby. It's in your best interest. I'll close now. We're about to start daily meditation. I love you.
Naomi'
Jim went to grab the telephone and called the number for the Psychic Horizons Center & Church of Inner Light. He left a message with a Mindy to have Naomi Sandburg call him ASAP. He emphasized several times that it was urgent that she get hold of him. That it concerned her son. Jim hung up the phone and wandered around the loft for several minutes, unsure what to do. He finally sat down on the couch and rubbed his hands over his face and through his short hair. He leaned back on the couch and drifted off into a very light sleep several minutes later.
The phone was what woke him up. He got up and answered it. It was Naomi.
"What's wrong, Jim? Is it Blair?"
"Yes, it is, Naomi. Blair was involved in a bombing at a shop. He's in critical condition at Cascade General Hospital. Can you come? The doctor doesn't know whether or not Blair is going to make it. Can you come?" Jim was practically pleading.
"I can be there by tomorrow, Jim. Is he awake?"
"No. The doctor has him in a drug-induced coma right now. I haven't even been able to see or talk to him at all."
"I'll be there, Jim. I'll call back with my flight information."
"I'll pick you up at the airport, Naomi."
"Thank you for calling, Jim."
Jim went to take a shower after hanging up from the call with Naomi. He wanted to go back to the hospital and look in on Blair. He was going to get inside this time. No excuses from the doctor. Jim was back at the hospital by 9:00 AM. He got permission to look in on Blair. He walked into the room, taken aback by the sight that greeted him. Blair was totally surrounded by machines and probes. Jim reached the bedside and tentatively reached out to touch Blair on the forehead, ever conscious of the bruising even there.
"Hey, buddy. I'm here. You hang in there, you hear me? Your mom is coming and I'll bring her by as soon as she lands. Damn it, Blair! I should have been paying attention when you reached for that handle. I might have been able to stop you. Stopped all this pain that you have. I'm sorry, Blair."
There was no movement from the still form in the bed. Jim knew that the machines were what were keeping Blair alive. He suspected Blair wouldn't be able to survive without them. And he knew Blair's wishes were that he wasn't to be kept alive by artificial means. But Jim just couldn't take that step without Naomi with him. She would be the one to tell the doctor to remove the respirator.
Jim was called to the nurse's station about an hour later. It was Naomi, with her flight information.
"I figured you might be at the hospital when I couldn't reach you at the loft. Were you able to get in to see him?"
"Yeah, I did. It's serious. When is your plane coming in?"
"5:30 this evening. Can you be there?"
"Yeah, I'll be there Naomi."
Jim hung up the phone and went back to Blair's room. He walked over to the bed and leaned over, whispering to Blair.
"Your mom is coming, Chief. I'm going to pick her up at the airport. And I'll bring her straight to your side. I know you'll want her nearby."
Jim patted Blair's shoulder one last time before he turned and left the room. He wanted to find out what had been determined about the bomb. He knew that three other people in the shop were already dead. Jim went into the station. Simon saw him and called him into his office right away.
"Did you get hold of Naomi?"
"Yeah, she's due in at 5:30 this evening. I told her I'd pick her up from the airport. There's no change in Blair. I was able to get in and see him this morning. I don't want him to die." The last sentence was practically whispered.
"Jim? You have to be patient. He was seriously hurt. If he makes it, he makes it. If he doesn't, he doesn't. Why don't you sit down for a little while?"
"Okay." Jim sank into the chair in front of Simon's desk. "Did you get a report about the bombing?"
"Yeah, it came in this morning. Apparently, it was payback for nonpayment on a debt. Mob related, although they haven't gotten the connection yet."
"Blair was innocent in this whole thing. God, Simon! He's just got to make it! He can't die!"