Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

A/N: Hey, there going back to my anime love. This came to me out of the blue realizing my fave captains are gone. (Ukitake and Byakuya) however, I believe Byakuya was believed to be saved to a bunch of fans voicing their pain of his loss. This is my take of after the war as ended. I didn't read the manga so I'am going off of internet searches and reading articles. So bare with me. Like always enjoy!

Shadows of ourselves-prologue

Senbonzakura was violated, so deeply taken advantaged of that the very thought of losing a connection so intricate and deep was crippling. A 100 year bond mastered immaculately that each move was as common as one would take a breath. Never did he imagine that the pride he cherished would be ripped away from the very blade he trusted most. Lost in a blur of red and pink he made a desperate attempt to gain back that familiar connection, Sebonzakura assaulted his body. Even though he was left a empty shell in the cratered wall, his mind clung on to what he held inside him something far worse than what he just experienced. The bitterness in the darkness that clawed at him was foul and more destructive than any battle he had faced. This was alien to him this was...failure. How could someone like him ever come back from that?

Isane ran a weary hand behind her neck. She had been dealing with the after effects of the Quincy war for months, and even though things had returned to normal in Soul Society the scars of what happened previously were there,barely healing for some. Renji and Rukia had recovered but the loss of the captain commander and captain Ukitake rippled through the divisions. Even the images of her own captains' death was always picking away at her. She wasn't sure what was worse the physical wounds or the psychological ones. She lowered her hand turning her attention to the man before her. It was beyond miraculous how this captain held on to the threads of life. Though it didn't bring comfort to those in the Kuchki clan, he has been comatose for six months. His physical wounds healed though scars were inevitable after sustaining such a injury. After Rukia's recovery she had stayed beside him for weeks. Renji would come to relieve her after a time. (No one was able to earlier without severe backlash.) The Ryoka did not immerse themselves in soul society even though their spiritual pressure was felt. They could not honestly go home nor could they offer any kind of condolence to the soul reapers they had come to know. After all, these were people who had hundreds of year age gap on them to lose someone that you've known for that length of time was anguish. Isane quietly turned to pick up the cloth and bowl beside her and carried it away to the counter. As she reached into a cupboard to replenish the shelves she caught sight of a picture and it caused the walls she had carefully built crumble. As she quickly placed a hand over her mouth, she fought the sobs that threatened to break through but it was no use as she felt the first fresh tears trail down her face...

Byakuya cracked open his eyes his vision like that of a foggy morning. He was numb caught between wanting to sleep and confusion but though his sight was hindered some, his ears picked up something...weeping. He wanted to know who shed such sorrow but he lacked the strength to move his eyes to look, let alone his head. Then a image greeted him...a familiar face. Gentle but strong but calmness in that image turned to one panic and dread. Though he couldn't manage to scream he did make enough of a noise that he felt a soothing compassionate touch that offered to take the darkness that threatened him. He heard a voice speak but simply did not care as what it was trying to say.

)))

Rukia wondered aimlessly along the streets her mind lost in a chaotic storm of thoughts and emotions. The captain she loved so dear was gone, she missed his kindness, his wisdom, the warmth he offered to everyone he met. His sacrifice would always speak of the heroism he did that day when the world seem to tear apart at the seams. If she felt this way she could barely imagine what Captain Shunsui was going through these past few months having lost his mentor and best friend would have lasting effects. The kind where it changes a person. Perhaps, she has changed as well. The harshness of the war never did leave her, she has matured and become more determined and dedicated in putting her efforts in preventing another war like that ever happening again. That was what a Kuchki would do...that is what her brother would do. She suddenly halted her steps as she saw Uryu only a arms length away from her. They stood there in silence, she hated him more than he ever thought she could hate. He was everything that the war symbolized. Though he aided Ichigo to end the Quincy King he himself was still a Quincy and she would purposely avoid him at all cost. Even now she did not breathe a word. That is until she felt his hand on her arm to stop her, it was in that moment did he discover the bitterness and and true ferociousness of her hatred.

"How DARE you. I'am a member of the Kuchki clan, touch me again and I will strike you where you stand!"

Uryu lowered his hand as she began to walk away he spoke.

"Rukia..I"

Rukia turned to him her anger lost some by the sorrow she held. "What Uryu?! What are you going to say. You're sorry? That will do you no good, your kind killed my captain and has bed ridden my brother. That Quincy pride of yours was always something you lived by. Isn't that what you've always said, Soul Reapers and the Quincy are enemies? I hate you Uryu, more than you'll ever know. So save your apologies, I will never forgive you."

Rukia saw the deep remorse that pooled in the others eyes, but she didn't see it for long as Uryu silently left her, a pang of regret hit her but she ignored it.

"Lieutenant Kuchki!"

Rukia turned to see one of the squad four medics panting slightly behind her. He met her eyes.

"What is it?" Rukia asked as her pulse began to race.

"It's Captain Kuchki he-"

She didn't hear the rest as she flash stepped to the fourth division making her way through the halls. Her heart pounding in her chest. Her eyes landed on Isane.

"Isane."

Isane stood up from where she knelt at Byakuya's bedside. "Rukia, I.."

"Is he...his he dead?" Rukia forced out.

Isane walked forward taking Rukia's hands in hers. "No, in fact he did wake-up."

Rukia quickly came to her brother. "Nissama. Nissama!"

Rukia's hopeful smile faded some as she saw the lack of reaction from her brother. She once more looked to Isane.

"Why hasn't he responding to me?"

Isane gave a empathetic smile. "He is very weak, it will take time for him to recuperate from being in this state for so long. We must be patient, but for him to show signs of waking is a good thing." Isane reassured.

Rukia once more looked back at her brother taking his hand in hers as she reached out with her other to gently move a strand of hair away from his eyes than softly ran her fingers down his face.

"I'm here Byakuya, I'm here."

))))

Ichigo sat on a rock looking out over the Seireitei a soft breeze gently greeted him as he thought back to the battle he fought. So, many good men and women died, he never understood how real the hatred between soul reapers and Quincies were until the war. He always thought it was an over melodramatic act from Uryu a facade, but he never could be more wrong. He was conflicted he could not fully destine the Quincies because it was in his bloodline, not to mention his zangetsu was not part of his soul reaper side but his Quincy side. Though he fully gained his identity it did not make it easier to live in the world that he knows now. Even if he could go back home to the living world he just couldn't, not until he knew Rukia was alright..not until Byakuya was awake. Not until the soul society he had come to consider home was what it once was, but how could it be when something so traumatic takes that hope away.

"Ichigo?"

Ichigo was brought out of his thoughts. He watched as Orihime sat down beside him. "I called your name but you didn't answer. Are you ok?"

Ichigo wasn't sure how to answer that question he looked at the gentle eyes staring back at him. This girl was stronger than he ever thought she was. Her heart always open to love no matter who it was, she always saw the good in people. He honestly didn't know much of her he took for granted until these last few months. Was he ok? He took her hands in his. Smiling at her some and gave his answer.

"I will be."

She let out a sigh leaning her head against his shoulder. "That is good enough for me."

The wind once more blew softly and after a few moments of silence embracing each others company. She thought of someone else.

"I'm not sure Uryu will be."

Ichigo frowned slightly as she lifted her head to look at him. "I've tried talking to him but...he doesn't say more than a couple words at most. He says he's fine but I know he is feeling guilty. I never saw Uryu as a bad guy. He always acted tough but he does care for us."

"I know...if it wasn't for him firing off that arrow to have Yhwach become mortal none of us would be here right now. It's just so many have lost their lives to the Quincies I don't blame the soul reapers for feeling the way they feel. I know Uryu was doing his best to stop the war in his own way, but what happened in the end changed everything that we knew."

"Ichigo...do you hate him?"

Ichigo thought for a moment and gave an honest answer. "I did I would kill him with my bare hands if could but...he is my friend."

Orihime looked out over the city after a moment she spoke. "I hated him too."

This confession surprised Ichigo. "Orihime."

"I did Ichigo. So many kind people died. Captain Ukitake was the first to trust us when we came to soul society and though Byakuya had his moments he too became important to me. These people are like family, and to have a group of strangers come and tear apart my family...it hurts. Then I realized that Uryu was not like the others. He wanted to protect his family too and the only way to do that was to go against us for a time. I want to help him see that not everyone is against him, I'm just not sure how."

Ichigo brought her closer into his arms. "We just have to let him come to us."

))))

Byakuya tried to fight against the nightmare that tortured him like a plague over and over again. He needed to find Senbonzakura tell him to trust him again but all he was reminded of was his flesh being ripped apart, the fear, the desperation. Then that face...he knew the face. He knew deep inside he cared for this woman. Then darkness. Then the cycle would start up again and this time he heard a noise a loud ear piercing noise then he realized what it was...he was screaming all he could do was scream.

To be continued

Review if you like.

Kindred Spirit