Disclaimer: Howsabout you try to sue me and fail so that I can laugh at you? That might work.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Shounen-ai, Niou.

Summary: Akaya sulks about the cons of being forced to live with his least favourite senpai.

Author's notes: Another Rikkai drabblething. You don't have to have read the ones that come before this, but it might help a bit. The drabblething list goes:

Times of Stress

Passing the Time

How to ask out Marui Bunta

Four Days Later

October Ice

Because I Love You

Evil

Further Nonsense

Dear Diary

Kind of… the same

100 Word Challenges

Driver in a Hurry, Child in a Coma

Doctor, doctor!

The Woes of Solomon Grundy

I'm Not Going

The Little Things

He WHAT?!

Operation: Christmas Party

Being Fukubuchou

Once Upon a Time

My Brother Bunta

Dear Diary: Living with Niou-senpai

Yeah… I thought about making this a second chapter for 'Dear Diary', but decided against it. :) Too much has happened since then.

This won't make a whole load of sense if you haven't read the 'Going to Hokkaido' mini-arc, which consists of 'I'm Not Going', 'The Little Things' and 'He WHAT?!'. Not that it makes a lot of sense anyway… But, you know. ;)

-------------------------------

January 4th

Dear Diary,

I've been living with Niou-senpai since the end of November, and I don't know whether I prefer living with him or living in the hospital. If I was allowed to live in the hospital without being ill or injured, I mean.

This was my day today.

6:30 – Woken up by Niou-senpai chucking a bucket of water over me. Wouldn't have been so bad, except he'd been keeping it in the freezer.

7:00 – Came out of the shower and had another bucket of ice water thrown over me. Niou-senpai explained that he was trying out an experiment to see whether I'd catch a cold from it or not. There's something really wrong with him.

7:10 – Got lectured by Niou-senpai's scary aunt about leaving my tennis racquets by my shoes instead of in my room.

7:30 – Ate toast for breakfast in Niou-senpai's room, cos part of the deal is that I stay as much away from his aunt and uncle as possible. Purposefully scattered crumbs in his bed.

7:35 – Niou-senpai discovered the crumbs and hid my crayons.

7:38 – Discovered that he'd hidden my crayons and I hid all three of his earrings.

7:39 – He found his earrings. Spent the next hour mocking my hiding skills.

8:45 to 9:10 – Searched for my crayons. No luck.

9:12 – Opened the window for some fresh air (Niou-senpai's room gets choked up with cigarette smoke) and a bucket of ice water dropped on me.

9:30 to 11:00 – Played tennis at the nearby tennis club. No-one could beat me. Ha!

11:02 – Niou-senpai showed up and nearly beat me. But I won 6-4. Ha, ha and ha.

11:30 – Another bucket of ice water gets thrown over me. Where does he keep getting these?

12:35 – Ate lunch. Most of it is nicked by Niou-senpai, who left his wallet at home.

12:50 – Tried to get revenge by shoving him into the swimming pool, but he did some sort of gravity-defying spin and I ended up in the water instead. It hadn't been heated, and was ice cold.

1:30 to 2:00 – Had a nap.

2:01 – Woken up by Niou-senpai chucking another bucket of water over me. Again, ice cold. How? Why?

2:20 – Found my crayons. Was very happy until I realised that half of them weren't in the box. Yelled at Niou-senpai who told me that the other half were all hidden in different places.

2:22 to 5:00 – Spent the whole afternoon on a stupid, weird treasure hunt for my crayons, with Niou-senpai tagging along and giving me false directions.

5:30 – Had an early dinner and felt quite pleased. Only missing the dark blue, the green and the gold. Oh, and the yellow.

6:00 – Found the green in the mini-park by Niou-senpai's house. How did he hide it there in the minute he had?

6:05 – Discovered the dark blue in an elaborate string trap, which meant that I couldn't free it without getting ice water on me. Felt a bit ill, but definitely worth it for my favourite crayon.

6:15 – Decided that Niou-senpai was having way too much fun with this. The yellow was in another string trap which took me ten minutes to work out. Almost dropped the yellow down the drain in the process. How does he set these up?

6:20 to 8:00 – Couldn't find the gold. Niou-senpai refused to give me any more clues. I thought he might be holding it so I attacked him, but he didn't have it. No amount of sulking, pouting, yelling, scowling or threatening to tell Mura-buchou on him worked.

8:08 – Wanted to watch a film, but Niou-senpai insisted on watching some stupid gameshow instead. It's American and it's called 'Jackass', or something. Looked boring, so I played with tennis balls instead.

8:35 – Worked out how to juggle. Sort of. It works for about three seconds, then all the balls somehow stick to the ceiling. No idea why.

8:37 – Very satisfied as the tennis balls drop from the ceiling onto Niou-senpai's head. He does nothing.

8:38 – Worried that no retribution had arrived.

8:39 – Paranoid that, at any moment, a tonne of water will drop on me from somewhere.

8:42 – Still no reaction from Niou-senpai. Seems to be ignoring me. But I know his wrath will come. I know it.

9:00 – Asked him to hit me or kick me out the window or something, please. He just laughed. Scarily.

9:30 (now) – Am currently so scared that it's getting hard to write. Or maybe that's just wrist cramp. Who knows.

I'm going to go to bed early tonight. Maybe he just can't be bothered to punish me, since he already spent the day entertaining himself by making me and my crayons suffer. I'll know for sure tomorrow. Night.

P.S. 9:40 – Found the gold crayon under my pillow. I'm so sure that I looked there this morning. Oh well. Night-night.

P.P.S. 1:00 am – Just woke up to find myself tied to my bed with a giant spider dangling above my face. Literally can't untie myself. Can't touch the spider; too scared. Can only write in here so that if I die, maybe Maru-chan will avenge me. Maru-chan, if you're reading this, please, please, please make Niou-senpai suffer.

------------------------

January 5th

Dear Diary,

I'm alive! I'm alive! Niou-senpai untied me after making me promise that I wouldn't tell Mura-buchou on him. I'm going to anyway.

------------------------

January 6th

Dear Diary,

Had to work all day in Nishi-san's shop. Didn't mind, cos Maru-chan secretly filmed Mura-buchou telling off Niou-senpai and brought the tape in. I love him.

Also got a cold. I hate Niou-senpai. He's so mean. Why is he so mean? Maybe he was an evil murderer person in a previous life. Or maybe he was a camel in a previous life, and that's why he's so scared of water.

… Are camels scared of water? Or is that elephants? Hmm.

OH, wait, I'm thinking of that weird little orange pokemon! I remember now. The one with the flame on the end of its tail, so if it got wet then it died. That's really stupid though. Was the flame its heart or something? Maybe it breathed through the flame. Except, then, why would it have a mouth? Oh, to eat. Right.

Wait, did it drink? Cos if it did, wouldn't the flames inside it get put out? Hmm. I'll ask Yanagi-senpai tomorrow. He's practically a pokemon.

------------------------

January 7th

Dear Diary,

Niou-senpai was scarily nice today. He forced me to drink orange juice to make my cold go away. I couldn't breathe, but it was nice of him. Even though Yanagi-senpai said that there was no point, because once you've got a cold it doesn't matter if you have loads of vitamin C or not. You just have to wait for it to go away. He also explained that I was thinking of Charmander, and that it did drink, and it was never explained about the flames inside or the flame on its tail.

Yanagi-senpai knows a lot. Maybe he's a robot.

Also, Niou-senpai let Maru-chan come and see me. He normally doesn't cos he gets annoyed when we make out on his bed, but he just shrugged it off today and told Maru-chan that he totally owed him coffee for the next week. That was nice of him too.

------------------------

January 8th

Dear Diary,

Back to school today. Bleurgh.

NOT! Ha! Me and Niou-senpai thought of a genius plan to get out of school (he had some important work due in that he'd 'forgotten' to do). We kidnapped a couple of first years and got special permission from the librarian to tutor them in the library. They learnt a lot about How Not to be Kidnapped from Niou-senpai. I think they might have gotten a bit scared when Niou-senpai also demonstrated knife-throwing. He told them he wouldn't hit them, but they didn't believe him. Silly first years.

7:40 pm – Mura-buchou just phoned and lectured me about playing truant. I told him that we weren't playing truant, we were Helping First Years to Learn Valuable Life Lessons. He told me that if I did that again, then he might take me off the Regulars. I was very sorry. Then he told off Niou-senpai. But not in a very cross way. I guess he's relieved that at least Niou-senpai didn't take me to a sake bar like last time.

------------------------

January 9th

Dear Diary,

I know why Niou-senpai's so grumpy about me and Maru-chan! He wants a boyfriend too! I'm a genius.

Told him that he should get one and he got all offended that I'd assumed he was gay. I asked if he was straight. He said no, so I don't know why he got offended. Strange. Anyway, I told him he should find a boyfriend and he asked who in a really sarcastic way. Said that Yagyuu-senpai's straight, and he's really not interested in anyone else from our school. Suggested Seigaku and got hit on the head. Suggested Hyoutei and got hit on the head. But then he looked all thoughtful and said I "might be onto something". Went to bed feeling pleased with myself. I bet he's gonna start going after… Hmm… I'd say that glasses guy, but he's already going out with the flippy guy. Niou-senpai wouldn't break them up, right?

… Well, maybe.

He wouldn't go after the sleepy guy, cos he'd get really annoyed with him, and Niou-senpai says that he doesn't like 'fluffy' people. I think he means cute.

Who does that leave? Nuh. I don't pay attention to Hyoutei. They're not strong enough to beat me, so why should I pay attention? Well, Atobe-san can beat me, but that's it. And I bet he won't be able to beat me next year. I bet Mura-buchou'll be the only one who can beat me next year. :) I'll be the strongest tennis player in all of junior high! Yeah. Take that, Fuji Syuusuke. Oh, wait… he'll be in high school next year. Damn.

… Fine, take that, random second and first years who think they're good. Especially that brat who defeated fukubuchou. Fukubuchou would so not have lost if he hadn't been so worried about Mura-buchou. Yep.

Well, nighty-night.

-------------------------------

Sandy: Ne, ne, if you're kind enough to leave a review, I wonder if you could do me

a small favour? If you could quote your favourite phrase/sentence/whatever from either this drabblething or one of the others (or even both…? -Akaya eyes-), that'd be really helpful to me. :) Thanks, I'd really appreciate it. But you don't have to if you don't feel like it, of course x3

As ever, questions, comments, suggestions, all are welcomed with open muffins. And… I really will update the last chapter of my Xmas fic… Honest. –Sweatdrops-

Until next time!