Something was not right.
I placed my head down on the pillow, shuffled my shoulders and clenched my eyes. Nothing. I turned over, placing my head back on the pillow, shuffling my shoulders then clenched my eyes shut. Nothing. I sighed, turned over and faced the ceiling, realizing it was becoming a routine. I could not concentrate. My mind just kept returning to him. His face floated around my head whilst his words rang in my ears. I felt the pit of my stomach rage, threatening to rip me in two. I clutched my arms around me, terrified of what was happening. I forced my thoughts somewhere else, but they just came spirally back to him. I clutched myself tighter, until I was holding myself together. Then something flashed across my thoughts. I remembered him saying that Carlisle was finishing up the week then leaving. Carlisle. I suddenly bolted upright in bed. If I could speak to Carlisle, I could understand what was happening. I needed this. I relaxed back down into my pillow thinking it through. It could work. Maybe. I lay there for hours, thinking. But soon sleep caught me, smothering me into darkness; that night I dreamt of Carlisle turning to me and nodding in agreement. Agreement for what?
___________________________________________________ .
I woke to the sound of rain hurling itself against my window. I got out of bed and pressed my forehead against the cool glass. Great, I thought to myself.
As I looked through the window I noticed that Charlie's cruiser was gone. Fishing.
Food was not necessary, I thought to myself as I changed into my jeans, I just needed to get to the hospital as quickly as possible. I tried to ignore my restless thoughts about what was going to happen, but I could not help myself from rushing to my truck. I jumped in, slamming the door behind me and twisting the key in the ignition.
"Come on, come on," I whispered irritably, my poor truck coughed and spluttered but came to life with a roar. I pushed my foot on the pedal realizing that this would be the only thing to slow me down.
Eventually I made it. As I pulled up in the parking lot, I felt terrible for pushing my truck over its limit but this was important. I dashed through the doors of the hospital but was stopped by a stony faced women sitting at the reception desk.
"Can I help you?" she enquired, raising one eyebrow at my appearance.
"I need to see Doctor Cullen," I blurted out. She seemed alarmed but glanced over at her computer,
"Do you have an appointment?" she asked, this stumped me.
"Uh… no… did I need one?" I stammered. The women sighed, rolling her eyes. This was so infuriating.
"To see a doctor or nurse you need to have an appointment already booked and…"
"Rebecca is something wrong?" a velvet voice called. I whipped around. Carlisle Cullen gracefully glided towards me. His golden hair shone even in the lights of the hospital and his ochre eyes seemed startled as they turned towards me.
"Bella?" He muttered. Swiftly he turned to the receptionist, "I'll take it from here Rebecca. Miss Swan, would you like to come to my office," I followed him in awe, forgetting how beautiful he really was. When we were in his office he turned to me his voice sharp,
"What are you doing here Bella?" I had never heard him speak so ruthlessly before, even with his perfect velvet voice he sounded sinister. Tears suddenly burned in my eyes, a taken back by his reactions. Unexpectedly, I felt his cool hand touch my shoulder, his eyes suddenly worried and concerned, "I'm sorry Bella, you just shocked me. Edward said that you were fine about all of this,"
He had said it. My stomach seethed as I felt my hands stretching to hold myself. Silently Carlisle sat me down on a leather sofa at the side of the room.
"Put your head between your legs, it will help you breathe better," he ordered softly. I waited until I no longer needed to hold myself together. I sat up, staring at my feet awkwardly.
"Sorry Carlisle, I don't know what's wrong with me," I muttered. He took a sharp intake of breath then rubbed my back,
"You miss him," he said simply. I could not argue with this, "Bella, you can't see me, I mean you shouldn't," he began, "It's bad for you… I'm… I mean - we're bad for you," suddenly he got up and shot across the room towards his desk, leaving me shocked by his words, staring at his back.
"Carlisle, were you going to say that you were bad for me?" I whispered silently, so that no human could hear me, but I knew he heard me. He shook his head, still refusing to look at me,
"No, Bella. You're not feeling very well, look at you you're pale and you're shaking," he said. He was right; my legs could barely hold me up – I was just hearing what I wanted to hear. That somebody wanted me.
"Bella, you must leave, now," he demanded still not turning to face me. But my body refused to move, he sighed as he eventually turned towards me, "May I visit you tonight? I'll try and help you with your problems."
Without my full approval, my legs started working and began walking to the door, before I knew it I was standing by my truck with the rain hitting against my face. Slowly, I got into my truck and sat there, shivering. He promised he would help; now all I have to do is wait. Slightly satisfied, I turned the key in the ignition and felt the truck shudder its way down the wet streets of Forks.