AN: Can I call this a St. Berry fic if he only actually says two words in the entire story? It's really more of a Hummelberry friendship fic, or, if you want to stretch it, a Rachel character piece. But I knew I wanted to write something St. Berry after the season premiere tonight, to go along with the St. Berry Week extravaganza declared by Cris (/s/7052976/7/Inevitability). So ... I'm calling this St. Berry.
Spoilers: For 'The Purple Piano Project' if you haven't seen it yet.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. I don't own Hairspray. And for good measure, I don't own 'Hello,' either.
Delaying the Inevitable
You can't stop an avalanche as it races down the hill.
You can try to stop the seasons girl, but you know you never will.
"Rachel?"
Her head snaps up at Kurt's voice yanks her out of her reverie. "Over here," she calls back.
"You left the spots on," he observes as he makes his way down the steps through the rows of empty seats to the stage. "Are we tanning?"
Despite herself, she smiles. "No," she laughs as he takes a seat next to her, dangling his legs off the edge of the stage. She bites her lip, dropping her head to stare at her hands as she fidgets with the purple pleats of her skirt. "Kurt...I called you because I need to talk to you about what I'm about to do."
"Oh God, please don't tell me we're hiding a body," he breathes, his face going white.
"What?"
"Well, we're busy holding Glee auditions, and after Sunshine Corazon wound up at the crack house last - "
"It was inactive!"
"I just figure there's nothing that would surprise me at this - "
"I need to break up with Finn."
That one stuns him into silence.
"He's meeting me here after football practice," she admits. "I asked him to meet me. He doesn't know why. I was hoping you might ... well, be there for him. Drive him home, if he needs it. I don't want him to be alone. He's going to be upset. He has every right to be," she finishes softly. She chances a look up from her hands at Kurt, who is still sitting in shocked silence. "I'm sorry. I know he's your brother. I know I'm putting you in a difficult position. I just thought someone who cared for him should know."
He exhales. "Being his brother and being your friend aren't mutually exclusive," he reminds her. He puts an arm over her shoulders and she leans on him gratefully. "I want what's best - for both of you. I'll be there for him, if this is what you need to do. But why is it you think this is for the best? I thought you were happy."
"I am happy," she admits, thinking of the fairly blissful summer that's just passed. "Now. But six months from now? A year? Quinn told me last year - and I should have listened then. I don't belong here. And if I keep clinging to Finn, one of two things will happen. Either I will hold myself back for him, and resent it forever. Or I'll follow my dreams and leave him behind and break his heart. I might break his heart today, anyway. But it will be easier now than a year from now. It'll be the kindest thing I could do for him. He deserves for his senior year to be magic, too. How would he remember it if I broke up with him five minutes after graduation? He deserves to enjoy this year ... maybe even find the person he is supposed to be with. How will he find her if I am wasting my time with him?"
"Well, Miss Berry, I will say this." She's not sure what Kurt's tone means, so she lifts her head to look at him. "You're a force of nature. You know exactly who you are and what you want. It's incredibly brave."
"I'm fierce," she reminds him, trying to bring a little levity back into the room. "You're fierce, too."
He laughs a little. "We're going to take New York by storm, you know that?"
Her eyes sparkle. "The three of us will find some tiny, shoddy apartment on the Lower East Side."
"Which won't be shoddy for long, thanks to Decor by Hummel. We'll pay the rent by being hired as singing waiters at one of those tourist traps."
"Stephen Sondheim," she says with conviction. "We'll have at least three of four Tonys on the mantle by the time we're 25."
"I'll have to do the grocery shopping because Blaine will forget you're a vegan every other day, and I don't want you to piss each other off."
She's staring off into the spotlights that hover over the stage, her face faraway.
"What I want," she says with conviction, "is what you and Blaine have. To have someone who fits into that life. Who comes along with big dreams of his own and just - jumps on for the ride, you know?"
And Kurt smiles because, despite his shock at Rachel's sudden change of heart - well THAT part he does know. His life has changed a lot in the last year - with transferring schools and transferring back, adjusting to his new family, going to Nationals, becoming best friends with Rachel Berry, of all people. But the real bonanza was that he had gotten Blaine in the deal.
And suddenly it dawns on him what's going on here. Because there's only one boy he knows who is as much of a force of nature as Rachel Berry, and with dreams just as big.
"Rachel." His voice is gentle. "Is this...about Jesse?"
Her silence is all the answer he needs. And quite frankly, it doesn't shock him, the puzzle pieces clicking into place. Maybe this isn't all about Jesse St. James. But at least part of it is.
"When we sat in the car, and you told me I was getting into that school," she says. "There's only one other person who has ever believed in me that way. Who told me that my success was an inevitability, not just some pipe dream."
"Have you seen him since..." Kurt trails off, but he doesn't have to say it. She winces. 'The Kiss That Missed' already has over 20,000 views on YouTube, after all.
"We met a week after Nationals," she says. "I wanted to try to apologize. He reiterated his feelings for me, but made it clear he wasn't waiting around anymore. He went back to California to try to repeat the classes he failed and to maybe try his hand at community theater."
She remembers like it was yesterday.
"I'll never quite say goodbye to you, Rachel," he had said, putting a few bills down on the table and gathering his coat. "But the next time we say hello, it's on you."
"Rachel, I want to believe in fairy tales as much as the next guy," Kurt is saying. "But what if ... what if he can't forget this?"
Unwillingly, a smile plays at the corners of her mouth. "I think he will. And even if he doesn't ... it doesn't change the fact that this is what I have to do. For myself, and for Finn."
One hour later
It's not easy. Doing the right thing usually isn't. But her heart is lighter - she's relieved - as she walks through the doors of McKinley into the bright September sunlight.
Reaching into her purse, she pulls out her cell phone and doesn't even have to look as she punches in the number Santana finally made her delete, but she knows by heart. She's been itching to dial this number ever since she made her decision - but she resisted, wanting to tie up loose ends with Finn first. She's done wrong by both of them, so many times. She owes it to both of them for this one to be clean, on both ends.
She holds her breath as she listens to the dial tone.
Ring.
Ring.
Ri -
"Hello?" His voice is tinny, all the way through the line from California, and she's suddenly giddy, because that one word means so much for them.
"Hello." She wonders if he can hear her smiling through the line. "Is it me you're looking for?"
"Rachel?" he breathes.
"Hello, Jesse."
And my heart's keeping time to the speed of sound
I was lost til I heard the drums
Then I found my way.