Disclaimer: I don't own any of these glorious characters.

Warnings: Self-harm.

Author's Note: Hopefully this comes out better than I expected

I opened my eyes looking at the clock.

"Four A.M.," I muttered to myself.

Ever since I came back to Hogwarts my sleeping schedule has been a bit off. I couldn't tell if it was stress from school-work or the fact that everyone seems to be a bit weary around me since the war ended. Whatever it is, I couldn't let it bother me. So I turned to my side and closed my eyes.

I woke up three hours later to Blaise shuffling around the dorm trying to find his scarf.

"Draco, get your arse up. We're going to be late for Charms!" he yelled at me while throwing a pillow at my face.

"Sod off, Blaise," I mumbled into the pillow.

"Whatever you say. We're just going to leave without you," he said walking out the room.

Finally. Peace and quiet.

I turned to my side realizing that I was fully awake.

Great. I reluctantly got out of bed and proceeded to put on my suit.

I grabbed my Charms book and shoved it in my bag swinging it onto my shoulder as I walked out of my dorm. Only to then realize how late I really was. The Slytherin common room was completely empty and everyone was off to their classes.

I rushed out of there walking with a quick pace to Charms cursing at myself for being late for a third day in a row.

As I walked into Charms the awkward silence set in. Everyone, including Flitwick, turned their heads towards me while I took a seat next to Pansy.

Professor Flitwick proceeded to turn back to the lesson while saying, "Ah, Mr. Malfoy, glad you could join us. And you will be joining me detention for the third time, I assume?"

"Yes, sir." I mumbled.

Of course Potter and the ginger were snickering into their hands at this.

The rest of the day was usual. Detention with Flitwick went by rather quicker than I expected.

While walking to dinner a few Ravenclaw girls were glaring at me while whispering their death wishes for me to each other.

"Off to kill more people, Death Eater?" Questioned a tall Ravenclaw boy, approaching from behind the girls.

"Fuck off, Alec. I never killed anyone and you know that"

I tried my best to stay calm and decided it was best to leave before hexing him.

As i left he muttered something under his breath that I didn't have the pleasure of hearing.

When walking back I got a few more stares and slurs.

Skipping dinner tonight? I think so.

Running to the boys lavatory was all I could think of doing. It was empty thankfully. I walked to the furthest stall away from the doorway and locked myself in.

Pulling out the sharp razor from my pocket, I slowly ran my finger over the non-sharpened side. I knew how bad my habit was. I knew it was completely wrong. But I couldn't help myself... I lowered it to my left wrist and snapped my eyes shut as I slid it quickly over the skin. The blood slowly dripped down my wrist as I smiled from the stinging pain. It wasn't deep, but it was just enough to draw some blood.

It's the only way to keep myself sane. I feel like it's my own way of punishing myself for my past decisions. I regret what I've done. I can't stand seeing this disgusting mark of a monster on my arm. All happiness was drained from me the day I became that monster.

I can't stand the way others look at me in the corridors or in the dining hall. I know they all want me dead. Even some in my own house. All I know is that if these cuts get deeper, they just might get their wish.

The only person I trust with my secret is Pansy. She's my best friend and the only person that I feel like i wouldn't get judgment from it. Though she can't relate in any way and still brings up the questions of why I do it. I don't think anyone would ever understand.

I walked out of the stall as the regret of what I did started to sink in. I slipped the shiny metal back into my pocket and walked over to the sink. I stared into the mirror as the reflection of the person I most despise stared back. Myself.

I tried to fight back the tears as faint footsteps approached behind me. I turned quickly to leave and stopped dead in my tracks to find Potter staring at me from the doorway.

"S-Sorry. I'll just go to a different..." his voice trailed off into a mumble.

"No need. Just leaving."

I then realized the tears were already dripping down my cheeks. I rushed past him looking down, hoping that he wouldn't see me at my weakest.

And end of first chapter! Hopefully it was alright. Gah! xx