CHAPTER ONE: Death and Rebirth

It was raining in Gotham, as it often did. Only this rain would become a pillar within many a citizen's narrative of one of Gotham city's most memorable days. The day the Joker died.

The rain that fell that afternoon became like a time stamp. Whenever someone was asked the question "Where were you when the Joker died?" the array of responses often included the sudden, violent rain being some sort of warning that something terrible had happened, a prelude to checking the news and discovering what had transpired between Gotham's Dark Knight and the late Clown Prince of Crime. But that was all theatrics. That rain, from the moment the first drop hit Gotham soil, was not special to anyone…except for Harley Quinn.

To Harley Quinn, it was like the angels were crying with her. Lamenting her loss, and gently stroking her on the back. But all that rain could not compare to the tears that Harley shed. The thunder seemed tame compared to her desperate cries.

And while everyone else asked the question "Where were you when the Joker died?", Harley only asked herself "Why weren't you there when the Joker was murdered?" And she asked it over and over again. She repeated this question, each time demanding a better answer, but being unable to come up with one. This repetition went on for days. Harley locked inside her mind, numb to the outside world as she tore herself apart inside. Why. Why. Why. Why. Until suddenly there was a sharp pain, and for the first time in days there was the question 'Where'.

Where am I?

Harley blinked, attempting to take in her surroundings. It was bright, cold, and vaguely familiar. A warm touch radiated against Harley's arm. She turned her stiff neck to look at it. An olive hand was gently squeezing her, an attempt to get her attention or perhaps to comfort her.

"Harley?" A soft voice came. "You might feel a little sick…We had to knock you out for a few days because you were a danger to yourself."

Harley's eyes slowly followed up from the hand, along the arm, until her eyes locked with the familiar face of Dr Leland. Harley blinked again. She was at Arkham Asylum, the medical ward.

"Take it slow Harley. Just breathe. Take your time." Dr Leland spoke. But it was too late, Harley's mind was already piecing it together.

The heist…The Batman showing up early. A black and blue flag. Keys hitting the floor. An explosion. Rain…so much rain. A shadow. Screaming. Nothingness. Why. Why. Why. And then finally where.

Harley wanted to scream. She wanted to hit something. She wanted to run. But she couldn't. She felt paralyzed. Her chest was heavy and she couldn't breathe. Dr Leland recognized the signs of a panic attack and quickly placed an oxygen mask over the blonde woman's face.

Harley tried to claw at her chest, as if she could rip it open and lift the weight off it somehow, but she paused the moment she lifted her hands. There was dried blood on her fingers and stuck into the edges of her finger nails. Her baby blue eyes burned into Dr Leland's eyes, screaming a silent question.

"It's not his…" She replied. "It's yours. When you woke up here the first time you clawed at your chest so hard you drew blood. We had to sedate you. I should have cleaned it up but…It's been rather busy here…inmates are going rather crazy…Well, crazier."

Harley just stared back at Dr Leland, tears beginning to stream down her face. "Harley I'm sorry… I know this is probably unbearable for you. But I'm going to work with you, I promise. I've given all my patients to other doctors. I'm going to work with just you, everyday, maybe even twice a day, anything you need."

Harley shook her head and breathed deeply, closing her eyes. This wasn't real. She was sure of it. After a few moments, Harley looked at Dr Leland again, and signaled for her to remove the mask. Once the obstruction was gone, Harley managed to choke out a rough sentence. "Where is he?"

Dr Leland visibly tensed. "Harley…this isn't a good idea. Not right now."

"Please…" Whimpered Harley, her eyes dropping down to the ground.

Dr Leland sighed, taking a breath. "The community graveyard…on the edge of Gotham. An unmarked grave at the back. Very few people know this, for obvious reasons…"

Harley whimpered again, like the information had physically wounded. "It…hurts…" She choked, clutching her chest.

"I know Harley…I know…shh…" Dr Leland took Harley's hands in her own. "This is very difficult Harley, and I know you don't like it here, but I need to keep you in the medical ward okay? And I'm going to have someone stay with you, maybe I can even have Ivy come down for a bit. But I don't want you going back to your cell for a few days…"

Harley looked up at Dr Leland, and with a serious face said: "Suicide ain't funny, Joan… I would never do that. I can't…It's…my life is…Only Mr J was allowed to end it…" She sobbed. "Now…now I have to live my entire life without him… I have to feel this forever…" She sobbed.

Dr Leland didn't know what to say. She trusted Harley's devotion to the Joker, but she still would hate to risk anything while Harley was in such a fragile state. "I understand…But it's for the best…Besides, you'll have more privacy down here than in the rouges gallery." And it's further away from triggering memories…Thought Joan.

"…o-kay…" Harley submitted curling up. Dr Leland stroked Harley's hair gently, and pulled the blankets up around her.

"I'll bring you something warm to drink. I'll be back soon, until then, Ella is going to keep an eye on you." And then quieter she added. "Please be good Harley…I'll work on letting you see him…But they won't let me if you act out…."

A small nod from Harley gave Dr Leland the confidence to leave her alone with the nurse for a few minutes. But the hot drink did nothing to stop Harley from shivering uncontrollably. And it was close to 3:00 in the morning by the time Dr Leland left the medical ward to go home, leaving a sleeping Harley in the night nurse's care.

But when Dr Leland left, Harley opened her eyes again. She couldn't sleep. She could barely breathe. It felt like she was dying laid there in bed, just thinking about how she lost her love….

And then suddenly, like a breath of fresh air…a voice began to whisper from the corner of the room.

"...Harley…"

It was so quiet that she almost didn't catch it, but the small tinge of familiarity was enough to draw Harley into a sitting position.

"…Harley…"

She was sure she recognized it now, and Harley's heart started to pound. She slowly swung her legs down onto the ground, her bare feet flinching as they touched the cold floor.

"…Harley…"

She moved to the corner but just as she got there, the voice came again, this time closer to the door.

"…Come to Daddy…"

Harley's eyes watered, she snuck past the nurse who was hunched over a desk facing the opposite direction, doing some paperwork. Slowly Harley turned the handle, and snuck out the room. The voice now began to whistle, leading Harley down the hallway and into a large storage room.

She reached over to turn on the lights, but froze when she heard the voice again, more clearly than ever.

"Leave em off, Harley girl…" It warned.

"M-Mistah J…Is it really you?" She whispered, beginning to shake again.

"The one and only." He chuckled. "But I have to wonder if it's really you?" The voice asked.

"Of course it's me Puddin. What do you mean? And where are you?" Harley asked, beginning to step further into the dark room, desperate to find her love.

"My Harley Quinn was strong and confident. She was an idiot and a useless waste of space, but she wasn't weak. No, never weak. So I have to ask- who is this imposter? This shivering, sniffling, mess that spent three days near comatose because she was so weak." The voice sneered.

"But Puddin, I thought you were dead! How else was I supposed to react?" She whimpered, hugging herself.

"By laughing you silly girl! Think about it….All these years shrink after shrink tell you that the source of your mania is me. Good old uncle Joker operating your crazy train. They all say that if you were to be cut free from me, you'd be able to jump tracks and head back down to boring old sanity. And then it happens, I die, and you're finally free of me! And now what do they say? Now they say 'She's crazy! She's had a complete mental breakdown! Lock her up and pump her full of happy juice!'" He laughed. "Now ain't that just a laugh?"

Harley just stood there.

"Ehh, you always had a crap sense of humour anyways…" Sneered the voice.

"I don't understand…I thought you were dead." Whispered Harley, confused.

"Nah, I'm just playing a trick on Batsy. Taking a little vacation time… And while I'm gone I need you to keep Gotham smiling. Hold down the fort if you will. But you can't let anyone know I'm still alive. Alright, cupcake?"

"Alright…" Harley nodded. "But…can I…can I see you?" She asked, desperation evident in her voice.

"Sorry baby…but we can't risk anyone knowing. You're just going to have to be strong for Daddy. You can do that can't you?"

Harley nodded. "Yeah…I can. As long as you're here, I can. You're my strength, Puddin."

"That's my Harley girl. So what are you going not going to do?"

"Tell anyone you're alive."

"And what are you going to do?"

"Keep Gotham smiling until you get back from vacation."

"And how are you going to do that while you're stuck in here, hmm Harley?"

"I'll break out!"

"Good girl, Harley. Now you better hurry your pretty little butt up, because its shift change soon."

Harley nodded, and started searching for the door. "Mistah J?" She called as she was about to leave. "I love you. I love you so much. Please come back from vacation soon, it hurts to be apart from you."

But she received no reply. Harley wanted to cry. She wanted to cry from joy because her Puddin was alive. But she wanted to break down and cry from loneliness as well. Yet she had time to do neither. Right now she needed to escape from Arkham. The only thing that kept her going was the thought that her handsome, wonderful, Mr J was alive….and he expected great things of her.

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, Harls. Cry and they'll eat you alive." She said aloud, remembering all the times Mr J had told her that to get her to stop crying. The words gave her the strength she needed to make it back to an old hideout.

Just as Dr Leland had walked in her front door at nearly 4am, ready to collapse onto her bed, her phone began to ring. The woman felt her stomach drop as she hurried to answer it and heard the very words she dreaded most in that moment. Harley Quinn had escaped.

Grieving, unbalanced, and most likely blaming Batman for the Joker's death…There was no doubt in Joan's mind that Harley Quinn would go after the Dark Knight himself, and not care who got hurt in the process- even if it was herself.

Joan pressed her face into her hands and sighed. "Wherever you are Harley…Please just be safe."

It rained that morning, and this time to Harley it did not feel like the weeping of angels…It felt like a rebirth. Come hell or high water Harley would keep her word to the Joker, and Gotham would could never foresee what would happen in the weeks to come.

END.

Next chapter coming soon! Please review!