What I Fear

Michonne stood by the car watching Daryl tinkering with the engine. Rick was sending them out on a run together. She had only been with the group a short time, and was just getting to know everyone. Daryl was a mystery to her; not easy to read like Rick was. Daryl to her, so far, was hard on the outside, but very tender on the inside, and brutally honest.

"You ready?" He said squinting at her from under the hood.

"Always." She said getting in the car.

Daryl was reluctant to go on a run with her, but Rick asked him to because he trusted her, so that made it alright with him, and he trusted Rick more than anyone. He had seen her use her sword and knew she could handle herself. That was a plus in his book.

Daryl finally got in the car and appreciated that this car had keys and didn't need to be hotwired. He turned the engine over and they drove out of the prison gate. Daryl didn't mind silence except when other people were in close quarters to each other.

"What did you do before all this?" Daryl asked looking over at Michonne.

"I was a lawyer."

"Wow. Where'd you learn to use that sword?"

"By using it against the walkers." She said looking out the window. "Have you always used a crossbow?

"Yeah. I did a lot a huntin' with Merle, but mostly by myself."

"Rick says you have mad tracking skills."

"I do alright I guess." Daryl kept his eyes on the road now that they were a distance from the prison. "I thought we'd go out to the furthest point and then work our way back."

"Okay. What is the first place?"

"A hospital. It may be overrun by now though."

The hospital had a few walkers around which they took care of easily enough. Michonne liked Daryl's style. He was quick and efficient. No wasted movements. They knocked on the front window to draw any walkers that may be inside, and went around to the back to go in. They grabbed all the medication they could load and left.

"That was easy enough." She said walking to the car.

"For a change." Daryl said watching behind them.

The next stop was a department store for clothing and shoes. Winter was three months away and they would be needing jackets. There were no walkers in this place so they leisurely walked around the store. Michonne stood in front of a rack full of men's shirts. She grabbed a black long sleeved shirt and went over to the coats and piled them on the shopping cart.

Daryl walked over to her with a cart full of toys.

"For the kids." He said nervously.

"Are you sure they're not for you?"

"Nah, I like Legos and they didn't have any I liked." He scoffed.

"Here." She said tossing him the black shirt. "You look good in black."

He looked down at the shirt in his hand and up at her. No one had ever given him anything.

"Thanks." He said quietly.

She turned to really look at him.

"Wrong color?"

"I like black. It's just that nobody ever gave me anything."

"There's a first time for everything." She said smiling at him.

"What color do you like?" He asked shyly. "In case I see something you might like."

She smiled at him and he turned away.

"I like orange and yellow." She called after him. She wanted to laugh, but it wasn't funny. He was socially stifled through no fault of his own. What a shame, she thought, but knowing his brother, he was not surprised.

"We've enough for now. Let's get out of here."

Some walkers had spotted them and they quickly loaded the car and drove away.

"I'm sorry if I put you on the spot." Michonne said.

"You didn't, not really."

"Which is it? I didn't or not really."

He looked at her and saw she was smiling and he gave her the slightest smile and shook his head.

"You didn't."

"How many years difference is there between you and Merle?"

"Almost ten years. I was the mistake."

"Does that bother you?"

"I don't know. I guess it did once. My old man kept telling me I was a mistake. He called Merle worse."

It was getting dark and they were more than 20 miles from the prison.

"We'll need to stop for the night. There's a place around here I stopped at before, hopefully it's still safe."

They entered the office building in the usual fashion. Daryl took point and Michonne brought up the rear. When all was clear, they picked a room to spend the night in.

"I'm sorry about what you went through."

"What?"

"Growing up."

"It was what it was."

"I just think you might have turned out different."

"You don't like who I am?"

"Do you?"

He grabbed his crossbow and headed out of the room.

"I'm going to check out the perimeter."

"Daryl." She said stopping him.

"I'm sorry. It's just that I would like to get to know you better."

"Why?"

"Because I like you and I know you're lonely. I recognize it because I am too."

She turned and found a spot to sit down on the floor. He walked around the outside of the small building as the sun was going down. Her words beat at him unapologetically because they were true. He had always been lonely, ever since he was a kid growing up practically alone.

When he got back she was sitting on the floor with her knees drawn up, resting her head on her folded arms.

"Do you think I could have turned out differently?"

"If you had different parents and brother, yes." She said lifting her head. "What did you want to be when you grew up?"

"A hunter. I've always liked being outdoors."

"You have that accomplished. I was like that too. I always wanted to be a lawyer, so I became one."

"Not in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be huntin' the dead."

"Neither did I." She said scoffing.

Her eyes were getting heavy so she leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. He wasn't used to anyone being that close to him. Actually touching him for a long period of time. He turned his attention to focusing on the sounds in the quickly approaching darkness for fear she might notice his body shaking. The closeness was foreign and uncomfortable, but he liked it in a way he was not used to. He wanted to relax, but he didn't know how. The struggle inside him was real. He wanted something he felt he could never have. A tightness invaded his chest and the closeness finally became unbearable.

"Michonne." He said quietly. "I need to do another sweep."

"You just got back." She said sleepily.

"Can't be too careful." He said standing up and grabbing his crossbow. Once outside, he inhaled deeply and calmed his breathing.