I have been working on this bad boy for ages, and I mean ages. It was something of a pet project of mine, a bit of practice with writing action scenes a bit more fluid and a more integrated drama flow without bringing the course of the story to a halt. Also, the final conflict between Jaina and Jacen Solo has always really resonated with me as one of my favourite little Star Wars moments outside the movies.
I adore the tragic nature of it, and I feel like this kind of story is at its heart, the kind of thing Star Wars revolves around.
Anyway, it went through a painful amount of rewrites and touch-ups and additions and subtractions and...about a week ago I deleted it and started over. And then it just sorta came together. Life is funny like that. I still think I could probably do a bit better but...you be the judge. This is my love letter to one of my favourite moments in the EU.
The door hissed open slowly and Jaina progressed cautiously. The decks and halls of the Anakin Solo were…empty. It wasn't right. She could feel nothing in the force, but that only served to set her more on edge. With the battle raging between the fleets outside, not in Caedus' favour, she supposed many had simply abandoned their leader.
She tried to sense him in the force, unwittingly searching for Jacen, but their twin bond had long since been shattered. Mentally cursing herself, she reached out again, this time for Caedus and…there. A black, gaping hole in the fabric of…everything. Boiling and sucking in everything around it.
Jaina tried not to hate the thing that had killed her brother. The thing that had taken away the kindest, bravest, most loving person she'd ever met. She couldn't afford to hate him, too much was at stake.
The artificial air was still, stifling. She struggled out of her heavy flight-suit, not caring about how inelegant she looked as she hobbled onward. Even wounded, near-crippled, Caedus would be a more than capable foe. Last time she had been lucky. She had taken his arm, but it was only thanks to her uncles mastery of the force that she had been able to escape the Sith's vengeance.
And there was the fact that she too hadn't had time to properly recover since their last fight. She ran a hand over the scars and bruises on her exposed arms as she adjusted her black tank-top. If only all her scars would fade with time as easily as they, she mused.
She felt Jacen shuffle uncomfortably next to her, as they all talked of Anakin's sacrifice and courage in the face of the Voxyn threat. Of his nobility and loyalty in giving his life for his friends. She clutched her twin's hand in her own, squeezing it briefly before going forward to say her own piece to the gathered mourners.
This was it. Caedus had nowhere to run this time. The battle outside was almost a formality. She could almost hear Luke's words in her mind, telling her that the true conflict would be decided by her and her brother. Caedus. The force had brought them to this moment. He had done all he could to distract the Sith Lord by confusing his senses, leading him to believe an attack would come from Skywalker in retaliation for the murder of his wife, her aunt.
Jacen, what have you done?
The thought was never far from her mind now.
She could see the hurt, the pain in her uncle's eyes. She'd gone forward to demand she deal with Jacen. Caedus. She hadn't expected them to agree. She'd been hoping the Masters wouldn't, if only to fuel her desire to stop him. But they hadn't.
Uncle Luke stepped forward, seeing the confusion in her eyes.
"He will expect a direct attack from the Order." Luke had said.
Without saying a word, he nodded, as if reading her mind.
"The very reason I want to go is the reason I cannot be the one." Her uncle continued, sadly. "This task cannot be for revenge, for personal gratification. It must be for justice. For the good of the force and life across the galaxy."
"I understand." She'd said.
And she had. And she'd hugged him.
"You are the Sword of the Jedi." Luke has said, softly, as he hugged her back.
"The Sword of the Jedi." The Masters had repeated.
The Sword of the Jedi, the thought hung in her mind, heavy. She'd never truly known what that had meant, until her brother had fallen to the Dark Side. Until she had known, somehow, that only she could be the one to stop him. Until now.
The Sword of the Jedi.
A title. A praise. A curse.
It was her, and she was it, now.
She stopped at the door. She could feel him, beyond. Torn, twisted, conflicted. Time seemed to stretch. He was unaware of her, somehow. As if his mind was so rent, so pulled apart by his own concerns he was simply somewhere else.
Her hand went to her lightsaber. Her fingers tightened around the cool metal, gripping it. Her thumb slid gently to the ignition.
She tried to clear her mind. It was a near impossible task. There were too many memories, too many images of she and her brother, laughing, fighting, playing…and…
Jacen's hand slid up her shoulder, gently, as if afraid she might break under his touch. Anakin's death had affected them all, but Jaina never showed hurt, never showed weakness, never cried, never softened, never…
Not to anybody. Not to anybody but…
No.
She thought about their mother and father. She thought about Jagged. About Luke. About…
He was standing on directly on the other side.
The door shot open, with a quiet metallic hiss.
Caedus' violent yellow eyes opened wide in surprise as they met hers.
For a fleeting moment, she considered closing her eyes. Trying to forget that the monster that threatened all she knew, all she cared for, wore the face of the brother she'd loved. But she couldn't. She couldn't hide. She had to face this. Nobody else could. It had to be her.
Jaina's eyes strayed to the body of Isolder on the floor behind him, then back to his surprised expression.
She had to kill her brother.
She ignited the lightsaber, without moving. The violet blade shot out in an instant, straight through Caedus' torso. His face creased in pain, but didn't recoil. Before she could react, he lashed out with his remaining arm, using the force to hurl her backward into the wall behind.
She gritted her teeth as the wind was momentarily knocked out of her, relying on her trained reactions to soften the impact. As she forced herself to her feet, she heard the sound of another lightsaber igniting, and saw the red glow cast over the polished steel floors.
"Not now." Caedus snarled. "No time."
"We're all out of time." She cut back, raising her own weapon again.
"True." He nodded, then lunged at her.
Even with one arm, he was still the immensely gifted swordsman he'd always been. She fought hard to match his blows, parry his strikes, seeking an opening, a weakness, any chink in his armour.
Their fight carried them down empty corridors, the only sound the ragged clash of their weapons, their cries, shouts, grunts of pain and release as they fought to gain the upper hand.
Jaina leapt backward as he tore near an entire wall apart in an attempt to flatten her. With a strike of her own, she used the force, driving Caedus through the breach in a hail of shattered metal and wires. As he struggled to regain his composure she renewed her assault, in a flurry of strikes he seemed unprepared for.
Maybe the deep wound in his chest was finally telling, or maybe there was something else at play here.
He crouched low, in a brief pause between clashes. Jaina took the opportunity to catch her breath. Her top and pants clung to her sweat-covered skin, but she barely noticed it. Caedus spared her a momentary glance, then reached upward. The ceiling above shook violently and exploded. At the last moment, she was able to deflect the rubble and debris with the force, but it gave her opponent the time he needed to retreat.
"No!" She roared, as he leapt up through the hole. She tore after him, jumping up and following as he ran on through the deserted vessel. As he turned a corner she felt the force distort, for a moment. On instinct she dropped and slid across the polished floor as lightning arced just overhead, right where she'd have been standing.
As she struggled to her feet, the ship rocked violently, throwing her down again. A series of muted explosions rumbled from somewhere behind her.
"Damn." She hissed, clambering up again, and hurrying in the direction Jacen had gone.
She sprinted on, latching onto a wall when the ship was hit again. It was too soon. She needed more time.
The next corner cut into a main access corridor with multiple turns but at the end she saw it feed onto the command bridge. Jacen was partway there when he stopped in his tracks and turned, obviously having sense her.
She could make out what remained of the crew at their stations, whether the fanatically loyal or those too frightened to run from their Dark Lord, she couldn't say.
They stared one another down, both using the lull to catch their breath. In that moment, as her brother glared at her, muscles tensed and eyes watchful for any sign of her movement, she felt she understood Luke in a way she never had before. How he must have felt fighting his own father, despite all that he'd done, despite the man he had become. Despite being Darth Vader.
"Still here?" Caedus called.
"I'm going to stop you."
"Not if you can't even say it, sister." He chuckled, wryly.
She balked for a moment, her resolve weakening. Caedus seemed to sense this, stepping forward.
"What do mother and father think? Do they know that Uncle Luke sent you here to assassinate me? Do they know he's too much of a coward to do it himself? What do you think? Can you do it? Can you kill your brother?" His lips curled in a smile that held no genuine warmth.
"Not here to talk." Her hand went to her lightsaber.
"No? But we haven't talked in so long, Jaina. We used to share everything." His gaze met hers. "Everything, don't you remember?"
"I do." She replied.
"It used to get so lonely. Being the children of Han and Leia Solo. Galactic heroes, always busy, always working…" He ran his only hand threw his hair, like they were chatting in some leisure plaza back on Coruscant. "I was there for you when nobody else was, there for you when nobody else could be because you wouldn't let them. I've been there for you in a way nobody else ever could be. And you were for me, too."
Another world fallen to the Vong. Another day fighting for their lives, side-by-side. Another day of losing friends, losing hope, losing…
"Jaina…" The mattress shifted slightly under Jacen's weight as he took a seat on the side.
Jaina hadn't even heard him come in.
She said nothing, shifting over in bed, unable to look at him, as he slid in behind her. Unable to look at anybody. It was too much, after everything. She could hold together for everybody when she needed, but when she was alone it was easier…just easier to fall apart.
Jacen's hand ran over her bare shoulder gently, as if she would shatter under his touch.
She placed her hand over his. Neither said anything, merely taking comfort from each other's presence, both physically and through their bond in the force.
Jaina rolled over, fingers tentatively touching his cheek. His hand swept aside the long strands of hair matted across her face.
"I know." She replied, curtly, voice hoarse. Her hand was gripping her weapon so tightly it shook. Her knuckles were white.
"And then to take an Imperial for a lover. To do that to the Solo name, sister." He smirked. "To do that to me…"
"You named your damn warship after Anakin!" She snapped, then bit her tongue, stifling her reply.
He was trying to make her angry. She could feel his probings in the force. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. Her mind settled. Her heart stilled. Her feelings dulled. It wasn't her brother. Jacen would never have talked to her like that.
Jaina Solo went away.
The Sword of the Jedi opened her eyes.
Caedus took a step backward. It was enough.
Her lightsaber ignited and she leapt forward. Caedus had barely enough time to ready his own as her saber cut down, clashing with his. A shower of sparks erupted from the impact, half-blinding the two of them, burning her exposed skin. She pressed on, unabated.
Caedus recoiled under the fury of her renewed assault, barely fending off her strikes and blows as their fight spilled into the command bridge itself. The sight was enough for the remnants of the ship's crew as they abandoned their stations and fled back down the corridor.
Caedus side-stepped a vertical slice, but found no reprieve as her fist caught him in the gut. He stumbled backward, visibly pained by his earlier wound where she'd stabbed him. She spun on her heel, gripping the lightsaber in both hands and swinging it in a wide horizontal arc, her arms shuddering as her saber connected with his, another explosion of light and sparks blinding and burning her.
As he tried to recover, she followed up with another attack, holding her palm toward him and catapulting him toward the viewing deck of the bridge. He slammed into the glass panels with a sickening thud and slid down onto the control panel. His lightsaber cut into the controls as he fell, throwing up a cloud of smoke and sparks. The whole ship shuddered again.
Before he could struggle up, she was on top of him. He held his saber up weakly as she brought her violet blade down sharply again, and again, and again, and again, and…
"Wait…" He croaked, through the electrical screeching. "Tenel Ka, Allana, I have to-"
"You had your chance."
"Jaina!" He held up his hand, dropping his lightsaber. His eyes were wide, imploring. Just for…for a second, Jacen was there, staring up at her.
Somewhere deep within herself, she could feel Jaina fighting to get out, to take his hand in hers. Somehow, despite all that had happened, hoping for some way to forget everything he had done, for all to simply be forgiven.
Then Caedus was sneering at her like he'd just scraped her off his steel-tipped boot.
Anybody else would have been cut in two. In a blink, the lightsaber was in his hand and ablaze as it cut across her midsection. It cut through her top, grazing the skin of her stomach, as she lurched backward, barely out of its fatal reach.
Caedus pressed forward and she parried a blow with her own lightsaber. It was a last, desperate move, they both knew it. Jacen was no slouch with the lightsaber, but Jaina had always been the better swordsman.
The ship rumbled again but neither noticed as their duel continued, both feeling the strain, both feeling an end, *the* end was approaching.
Her body burned and screamed with every strike, every blow, but she seemed to be tapping on near-endless pools of force energy, she'd never felt anything like it. It was like being driven forward by a relentless wave.
Caedus seemed to share no such similar resources, as his movements became more shabby, slower.
A series of fighters screamed past the screens looking out over the battle. One exploded. It caught her eye momentarily and she saw her brother mistake that for an opening. His saber cut down but she side-stepped quickly, slicing her own blade deep into the back of his heel.
He cried out and stumbled forward.
Without turning, she jumped forward onto the nearest control panel and pushed herself upward. Turning in mid-air, allowing her momentum to carry her she raised her lightsaber in both hands and roared. It came from somewhere deep within, guttural and raw.
Caedus turned and looked up, straight into her eyes and…did nothing. His lightsaber off, held limply in his hand as he struggled to stand.
The moment stretched.
The Sword of the Jedi receded, like the tide.
Jaina Solo opened her eyes.
His gaze met hers and…
…her mind was crushed as the force was rent and torn by a scream unlike anything she had ever felt.
Tenel-Ka-
She was no longer staring into the eyes of Darth Caedus, as her violet blade plunged into his chest and she crashed into him. As he fell backward to the ground, and she fell with him. As she remained there, straddled above him with her lightsaber clutched in her raw, bleeding hands, their faces warmed and illuminated by the glow of the weapon.
She was staring into the eyes of Jacen Solo.
Jaina barely noticed it at first, so subtle was the sensation. So…unfamiliar, after so much time.
She could feel him, through the force. Their bond. Like an echo at first, from far away, then stronger. It was Jacen.
She flung her lightsaber aside, like it was an ugly thing and her hands went instantly to her brothers bruised, battered face.
"No. It's not fair." She said, quietly.
He looked up at her, a whirling torrent of emotions flying across his features. His hand struggled up to her cheek, touching it carefully.. She placed her own over it, squeezing it gently.
"Jaina…" He croaked. She shivered, as the old feelings came flooding back.
"Don't." She chided, softly.
"I'm sorry." He managed, then made a small, fragile choking sound.
His chest rose and fell slower and slower, then stopped. She felt a last…imprint of him in the force, like a last gasp, then nothing.
"Love you." She whispered.
With considerable effort, as her body all-but screamed in pain, she struggled across the floor to a lone monitor and rested against it. She pulled her brother's body with her. With a last heave, she hauled him into a lap, circling her arms around him.
She didn't realise she was crying until the first drops of water landed on his forehead, as she looked down at him. She couldn't remember the last time he'd looked so at peace. She leaned down, kissing him on the top of his head as she rocked him gently in her arms, trying not to think.
"What are you worried about this time?" Jacen groaned. "I can't clear my mind with your mind having a panic attack over there."
"What if mum and dad don't come back? What if this time the Imps get 'em?" She crossed her arms, worried as the three of them sat together in their quarters in Luke's Jedi Praxeum on Yavin.
"They haven't yet." Anakin chirped.
The trio were supposed to be meditating. They never got very much done when left to their own devices.
"Have a little faith, sis." Jacen grinned, flicking her ear.
She swore, much to Anakin's amusement. He only laughed harder when she pounced on her twin brother and Master Katarn hurried in to pull them apart.
But she couldn't. She'd always been a thinker. Jacen had often teased her for it.
"It's not fair." She repeated, to herself, as it finally sunk in that she was the last.
Her brothers were gone. One she'd killed, but she'd failed to save both.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." She whispered.
She had no idea how much time passed, as she sat there, unmoving. She felt a twisted mix of numbness and agony. A need to lie down and tear something apart. She barely flinched at all when two figures burst onto the bridge, out of breath and frantic. Worry rolled off the pair in waves.
Her parents had arrived, she barely noted, as her bleary, swollen eyes looked to the door.
For a brief moment though, as she saw them, her mind went back to her childhood, when her father and mother were much younger, much…happier.
For a brief moment, as they stopped in the doorway, they looked as she remembered. Han, with a heavy repeating blaster hung on a strap over his shoulder, and Leia, wielding a blaster in each hand, looked much like the heroic figures Uncle Luke had painted them in his stories of their youth, in the Rebellion.
It faded slightly as they saw her, and approached, but the impression never fully left her.
Their faces probably mirrored her own. Relief at her safety and…grief at the passing of another child. Even after all Jacen had done, even then. She felt the same, she could not find it in her to question her parent's sense of loss too.
She saw her mother stoop to pick up her discarded lightsaber as Han knelt down in front of her. Leia's eyes met hers after seeing the way her daughter had looked at the fallen weapon and her mother had the sound judgement to put the lightsaber away.
"Honey" Her father reached out, laying a hand on her shoulder cautiously.
"I killed him."
Her mother knelt beside her father, both trying to give the appearance of a surety none of them truly felt.
"You stopped Caedus."
She closed her eyes, shaking her head softly.
"He was Jacen. At the end. He warned Tenel-Ka, through the force. The last thing he did. He could have fought on but…he didn't." She replied. "He was my brother."
They said nothing, for a time. Her father's hand remained on her shoulder. He rubbed it softly, periodically, as if not sure what else to do.
She considered that a time might come when she could look back and be grateful that for a moment, Jacen had fought free of the Dark Side, even if just for a final moment. It just wasn't now.
"I'm sorry." She said, eventually, voice breaking. "I'm sorry. Forgive me. I'm sorry." The tears came unbidden again.
"No…" Her mother placed a hand over hers, though she was still holding her brother. Comfort rolled off her in waves, through the force.
"I'm sorry." She repeated.
Footsteps clattered loudly down the hall and Jagged appeared at the head of a large team of Stormtroopers and Jedi Knights. They lingered by the door as he crossed over to them cautiously.
"We have the Moffs." He reported. Her father grunted in response. "Is…" Fel's eyes met hers briefly, brimming with affection and sympathy. "We should leave soon. It'll take us a while to get everyone together in the hangar, we'll meet you there in about half an hour." He continued, as his expression shifted back to a professional glare. He spared them a nod and turned back.
Jaina wasn't sure she'd ever loved him as much as she had at that moment.
As their footsteps echoed away again, her parents turned back to her. She saw herself in her eyes and winced. She saw a broken little girl she hadn't seen since she was a child. Maybe she hadn't seen her even then.
"I'm sorry." She choked, as her parents pulled her close, closing their arms around her and holding her tightly, whispering and comforting one another in the dark.