This chapter is especially dedicated to Kaikouken for 'poking' me to write humour and whose TNPC inspired me to do this. Since this is my first attempt to write it, please go soft on me -puppy eyes-. Also, I don't mean to offend any individual with this fic (reference to intersexual and psychiatric conditions); I just write what bit I know.

Please bear with me for the first two chapters as I set the background of Naruto and Sasuke. The plot will start afterwards.

Also, since I'm still toying with the plot, Odds will only be updated as soon as I got sparks of inspiration to write the chapters. So, if you want any scene/character (humour, mind you) to be written, just send me your ideas and I'll see if I can accommodate them.

Disclaimer: Naruto & co. do not belong to me; they are Masashi Kishimoto's. Unbeta-ed.

Chapter 1: Intersexuality.

While it is known widely to the general population that male has penis and female has vagina; not many people realize that a prevalence of 0.018 percent of people are of a gender called intersexual.

It is even described in the famous wikipedia that intersexuality is described as 'conditions in which chromosomal sex is inconsistent with phenotypic sex, or in which the phenotype is not classifiable as either male or female' (1). In simpler term, a person who is intersexual is not exclusively female, nor he/she (or maybe sheman?) is a male.

It simply means that particular individual have both genitalia, ovaries and testis.

Now, it may be weird to many many people, but it is the truth.

And in that 0.018 percent of the prevalence, one particular young male -or female?- lives in quite a remote place at a corner of this Earth, under the protection of his (or maybe her?) guardian called Umino Iruka.

And for the sake of this story, let just called this unfortunate (or fortunate if you want to look at it that way) person a male, since he has been raised as a gentleman all his life. The said young male name is Uzumaki Naruto, because he was being left near the site of the Naruto whirlpool. And it was the said guardian who found him and thus adopted him that instance.

As we have been told earlier, Naruto lives in a remote village, far far away from the city. Ever since he was a baby, Iruka has been a bit (actually a lot) confused with the baby's true gender, but since young Iruka himself is definitely a male, he raised Naruto to be a male as well.

And truthfully? Naruto is comfortable with it. And since Iruka has been addressing him as a male and treats him as a male; Naruto grows up with a thought that every male has umm… private parts like he does.

And so, during his high school, when the subject biology was being taught, he was confused. When he raised his hand to ask questions though, the teacher and students laughed at him; saying one cannot have two genitalia!

And whose fault was that?

Since then, Naruto never attempted to ask about it anymore. Poor poor Naruto hates to be laughed at, so he just keep it to himself, assuring himself that he is indeed special

Oh, he is right after all.

Now, you may have asked; hasn't he ever gone to see someone called doctor?

The answer is, of course not! Naruto is a very very special kid indeed. He has the ability to heal very very fast. In fact, he seldom got sick. And for this, Iruka is grateful, for his earning as a primary school teacher doesn't pay much.

The said young man has now grows up- becoming a full hot blooded young male of the age of 17.

A very beautiful male with bronze skin (normal tan mind you) and golden sunny hair that makes girls envy at its natural shine and softness (Naruto somehow has indeed a handful of fan club members who will try anything to get a piece of him. And this one time, they even dared to touch his hair- and hence they know how soft it is, despite the spiky and messy appearance).

However, the most attractive feature of Uzumaki Naruto (apart from his sun-kissed skin and bright yellow blond locks and endless energy and his ability to make people smile and his aura of happiness and brightness that could make people blind- okay, you got the idea now, don't you?); anyway, the most striking feature of this heavenly creature is his eyes.

If you look up in wikipedia and type in 'list of colours', you can see exactly the description of different blues that are associated with Naruto's eyes: azure, cerulean (not exactly the best description) and dodger blue. They are the most striking blue that you can ever see; they even rivalled the sky colour on a very sunny day.

Naruto is a bit on the emotional side, and hence his eyes colour also changed accordingly. It is no wonder then why people can get so entranced with our very charming character.

Growing up in a remote country site has its very own advantage. Naruto is a very active young teenager; who has a lot of enquiry and unanswered questions in this world and who is a very very adventurous person.

Besides, he has… one of the rarest… condition (that's just wrong to put it that way). Hence, it is not shocking news if someone from the city was looking for Naruto for him… umm… condition.

Enter (Professor) Jiraiya-sensei; who is doing his n-th research on human reproductive system.

(1) Direct word-to-word translation from Wikipedia

TBC
Next: Enter Uchiha Sasuke, a teen with Schizoid Personality Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder