Gravity Rock

by doginsideofyourguitar

This is a crossover of schoolhouse rock (Don't ask, it's way better than it sounds.) Dipper is pricked by a rose and wouldn't you know it, his voice cracks at the wrong time. This leads his walking to the hospital with 3 hours until he dies. Mabel Has to summon the almighty Bill of Capital Hill to bring her brother back to life. However, they get more than they bargain for.

1. The Deathrose

It was once again a fine, sunny day in Gravity Falls, and Dipper was suicidal as usual. His Sister loved to tease him, and was too oblivious to know that it pissed the little boy off, and his Great Uncle Stan was pretty stupid, and just went along with it because why not. Dipper, Stan, Mabel, and all of the other Mystery Shack folk were at a picnic, eating sandwiches in the Forest when Mabel had an idea that they should spend the night. Dipper thought this actually sounded pretty fun, and decided he would go collect firewood for the night.

Dipper was walking through the forest, and as he looked for dead trees, he began reading Ford's book that he was obsessed as a bitch with, when he got to a page about "The Deathrose". Apparently, if you were pricked by it, the poison would make you begin vomiting, then your blood would clot up, killing you. Apparently, you only had 3 hours to get to a hospital before the poison set in. Man, that must suck. Thought Dipper. And he thought this right as he walked into one of the roses. What a dumbass. Oh, boy, I am fucking stupid. Dipper thought again. He didn't panic, though, because either Stan or Wendy could just drive him to a hospital and he could be injected with the antidote.

"Guys! Guys!" Dipper said as he ran back to the clearing that his friends and Family were gathered in. "Where's the fire wood?" Mabel asked with a questioning eyebrow raise. "I got stung by this poisonous ROoes plant!" He said, his voice cracking. Grunkle Stan instantly snorted, which triggered everyone else's laughs. Oh, fuck nuggets. Dipper thought. The scene was basically a replay of the scene from Bottomless Pit, and Dipper ended up having another one of his edgy puberty tantrums, storming off, yelling about how he would go to the hospital himself.

As Dipper walked as fast as he could to the Gravity Falls Hospital, he realized how stupid his plan was, and that he only had an hour and a half before he was dead. However, it was far too late to turn back, and Dipper continued walking. However, as he did, he began to think. What's the point? I'll just get to the hospital, one minute away from fucking DIEING and Mabel and dumbass fuckin' Stan will find a way to mock me. As this thought began to grow on him, he slowed down, acting as stupid as ever, feeling sorry for himself. If I make it to the hospital, fine, whatever, but if I don't then I can finally have peace. He thought. With 20 minutes left before he died, he began puking. Dipper hadn't anticipated the agony he would be in. He vomited up everything in his stomach, growing weaker with every hurl, painting himself in the viscous mixture. Eventually, he couldn't take it anymore, and just sat curled up in a ball, crying silently, and it was getting dark, so no one would be on this secluded part of the road to help him. However, It would only get worse, as the Blood clotting effect of the poison had just set in. Dipper could feel every part of the intense, electric pain shooting up through his arm as he began to cry harder, the pain spreading until he finally met the sweet, sweet release of death.

Back at the campsite, Wendy and Soos were beginning to get worried. They weren't worried that they had insulted him, as he never held grudges, and would probably come back and say that he acted stupid, as he always did. They did not know of his suicidal thoughts. Mabel and Grunkle Stan weren't worried. They had just assumed he went back to the Shack to let his Temper Tantrum run through. "You know, guys, he shouldn't be gone this long. I mean, as funny as his voice crack was, he sounded pretty serious." Wendy said, worriedly. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is probably the same as the snake bite." Stan replied, remembering how the bite that Dipper made such as big deal over didn't even get swollen. Eventually, everyone had a dinner of Hot Dogs cooked over the fire, and went into their tents. Wendy and Soos decided that Stan was probably right, and went to sleep. Stan fell asleep instantly, because he is Stan, and he doesn't give a shit about any of this. Mabel, however, felt something was wrong. She could feel it. It might be superstitious, but something told her that her twin brother was not ok. After about an hour more of sleeplessness, she got up, and hopped into the golf cart, making her way towards the hospital.

Mabel had only been driving for a bit when she noticed something yellow shimmering in the moonlight. She stopped and sure enough, it was Dipper's Journal 4. Her heart instantly dropped as she got out of the cart and walked up to her twin. Sure enough, he was dead. Some blood that had seeped out of his mouth was drying, and he looked like he had been in immense agony. "DIPPER!" She screamed, shaking her dead brother and repeating his name. Once the reality of his death set in, all she could do was lay down on him and cry. As she did this, she thought about how he probably let this happen because of her and her dumb Grunkle's teasing, her obliviousness completely shattered. Eventually, she decided she needed to break the terrible news to everyone and dragged her dead brother's body into the seat next to her and drove back to the shack with tears in her eyes.

Everyone was shocked, and in disbelief at the fact he was dead, trying to blame themselves for it. After a few quiet and incomplete days without Dipper, his body sitting a casket, Mabel was looking through Journal 4, as it reminded her of her brother, whose funeral would be the next day, back at home. However, she found a page, one that just might be useful. On it, written at the top was: "REINCARNATION SPELL OF THE BILL" With what appeared to be a rolled up scrap of paper with limbs, a cheeky smile and happy eyes, and a pin that had "BILL" written on it stuck to its chest, below the title, with a caption that said: "CAUTION: ONLY USE THIS SPELL UNDER DIRE CONSEQUENCES" Getting her brother back was pretty dire to Mabel.

So whoop-de-doo. There you go folks. A fluffy story. Does that make up for Grunkle Stan kills his Friends and Family? Is this T or M? I don't know. I'm gonna put it at T for now, because it had swearing, but not much violence at all, maybe later though, but I'll change the rating to M if that happens. Cheers, Doginsideofyourguitar.