It was the shivering that finally wakened Remus. Or, more precisely, the sound of his teeth banging together as his body shook uncontrollably. He immediately recognized the familiar post-transformation pain. His muscles felt stretched to the ripping point and every bone ached.
But why was he so damn cold?
His eyes flew open ….the potion! He had forgotten to take the potion! What had he done? Where had he gone? How had the madness of the full moon taken him this time?
His surroundings only raised more questions than they answered. He was lying on a hard, cold floor in a semi-enclosed space – a storage area of some sort. But the most surprising thing was the cage, a large metallic cage surrounded him.
Remus stood shakily and limped to the front corner of his cell. He found a bathrobe and a blanket neatly folded. Next to them was a bottle of water and, Bless the Powers, a chocolate bar.
Sighing, he quickly slipped on the bathrobe and arranged a seat out of the blanket. He made a conscious decision to be grateful that his captor had done just that, captured him, and had not decided to create a world with one less werewolf in it. Putting the thought out of his mind, he sat to enjoy the many uplifting properties of dark chocolate.
Remus judged it to be about mid-morning when she wandered in. A short but graceful figure appeared in the distance. She had dark wavy hair that fell past her shoulders and wide-set brown eyes. Remus rose to greet her properly. The dark eyes bored into him as she made unbearably slow progress towards his cell. He found himself attempting to straighten his bathrobe.
"I'm Leilani," she announced.
Remus mustered as well-intentioned a smile as he could, "I'm Remus." The words seemed to hang in the air as Leilani raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "Lupin." He offered begrudgingly. She hadn't given her full name. "Remus Lupin."
There was a flicker of recognition in her dark eyes. "Professor Remus Lupin?" she asked, "From Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?"
"Former Professor, yes."
The woman considered this a moment, then swung open the cage door. "Come with me and I will tend to your wound."
Remus stared at her. "The door, it was open the entire time?" he asked.
Leilani shrugged. "The cage cannot hold a human against his or her will. Follow me."
Remus followed her into the brisk autumn air He scanned the landscape and wandered just how far he had traveled, the area did not even seem familiar to him. As the pain in his bones started to subside, he realized his left shoulder was throbbing and burning as if on fire. Leilani seemed sensible enough, he would accept her offer of healing and ask her to point him in the direction of home.
Leilani led Remus towards her farmhouse wondering just what she had gotten herself into. She must have been crazy to think this plan would work. Absolutely mad. A voice interrupted her thoughts, a deep, gutteral voice, rich with subdued power. A voice only she could hear.
He's rather scrawny looking as a human, isn't he?
Leilani carefully formed the thought-words in her mind. When you told me you were bringing me a werewolf you neglected to mention that he was a Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor.
But look at him, the voice answered, He is weary. He tires of the fight. If we have to we can break him.
"Mmmmm," Leilani responded absently.
"I'm sorry, what was that?" asked Lupin.
Leilani almost tripped. She must have spoken aloud; she would have to be more careful. "Tea," she said, "I was wondering if you would like a cup of tea."
"Please, yes," came the strained reply.
They walked the rest of the way in silence. Leilani lead Remus into the house and the second she closed the door behind them she was aware of a shift in her mind. Say it, the voiced hissed, Say it now. She ignored it as she invited Lupin into the kitchen and cast a warming charm on a pot of water. She felt a wave of impatience rising inside her, I told you to say it!
The moment is not right, she answered as soothingly as she could. The returning surge of frustration and anger threatened to overwhelm her, but Leilani stood her ground. She knew she was not committed until she spoke the words.
With a deep breath she turned back to her exhausted guest. "Let's have a look at that shoulder, shall we?"
Remus realized the woman had spoken, but all he was aware of was the pain. His entire left shoulder down and across his back throbbed and burned with a fire all their own. The pain was almost unbearable, he had never felt anything like it….except once. Unasked for, the memories came rushing back him. He felt again like a helpless child, waking at the first light of dawn and screaming as he had never before in his life. He hadn't been aware of anything but the fire that had rushed through his veins and threatened to consume him. Even at a young age, he had felt the curse in those wounds and realized that he would never be the same again. He was only dimly aware of the woman turning him away from the light and slipping the robe off his shoulder.
A moment later cooling relief washed through him. As the pain continued to subside, he became aware of his surroundings again.
"- sorry," the woman was saying, "You should have told me how bad it is, how much pain there was."
Remus managed a weak smile. "It's okay. My kind generally has a high tolerance for pain."
"It's not okay," Leilani's voice was strict as she brought herself to task for her oversight, "A healer must never become so distracted that they cannot feel the sufferings of others."
"I'm sure it's not everyday that you entertain the notion of inviting a werewolf into your home," said Remus gently.
Leilani seemed to consider this a minute. "I would be honored to share a cup of tea with any witch or wizard that Albus Dumbledore deemed worthy to instruct his students, "she said at last, "Of course you are welcome here."
A part of Remus couldn't help but to chuckle as he wondered if Leilani would ever have the opportunity to meet Severus Snape.
"This wound is quite severe. Can you tell me what happened?"
Remus shook his head and immediately wished he hadn't, as a spasm of pain shot across his back. "I remember nothing of my time spent as a werewolf."
"Are you sure?"
Remus thought it odd that she would press him so. She was obviously skilled in the Healing Arts; anyone so educated should be familiar with this basic concept in the werewolf plight.
"You know," Leilani began, "There is a Wolfsbane potion that – "
"I know about the potion," Remus snapped, "I just forgot to take it."
"I see. I didn't mean to offend you, Professor. I just believe that education and prevention are the two best medicines."
"I'm sorry," Remus apologized, "I'm not angry with you." He felt a new tingling sensation across his back and found himself relaxing muscles he hadn't realized were tense.
"Well, very few bones are broken," Leilani told him," I've concentrated your strength on rebuilding them and beginning to repair the torn muscles. It will take time though, your magic and healing energies are weak. Is that always the case after your transformation?"
"Yes," Remus answered glumly, "It usually takes me a few days to recover."
"You must really fight it to be so weakened I've always wondered why those in your condition insist on battling the inevitable"
Remus glanced up at her. He couldn't expect her to understand.. To know that you will be pushed down, trapped and utterly out of control in your own body. To realize that your body is becoming foreign to you, strange and powerful, capable of great destruction. No one could truly understand unless they had experienced it.
"I have to, " he told her.
"How often do you forget to take the potion?"
"Occasionally. But more often than not I take the potion and avoid becoming the monster."
"Professor," Leilani sounded surprised, "You make it sound as if you believe werewolves to be evil."
"Aren't they? Their sole desire is to attack humans. Violence is their most basic urge."
"I'm not so sure I see it that way," Leilani responded, "Perhaps the werewolf isn't evil so much as untamed. There are many non-magical predators that have attacked humans, but that hardly makes them evil."
Remus sighed and said nothing. Other predators attack for food or to protect themselves or their young. Leilani's ideas could certainly be debated, but, again, until she experienced it, she could never understand. There was only one time in his life that Remus might have believed it. One time when being a werewolf had actually seemed fun and adventurous, when it had seemed just a wild part of him that could be tamed, but he had long since recognized that thought as the foolishness of youth.
Leilani had finish applying a salve. She set a potion down in front of him with instructions on how to take it. "Plenty of rest is vital," she told him, "You need to replenish your magic and healing energies. I have a room you may use until you are well enough to travel. You are welcome to stay as long as you need to." She set some toast in front of him, " I know you're exhausted, but please try to eat and I'll prepare your room. "
Remus suddenly felt how right she was. He struggled to stay conscious as he sipped his tea. In the sudden absence of pain he craved nothing more than to sink into oblivion.
His hostess reappeared soon after he had finished eating. She led him up the stars and down the hall to a large bedroom with an adjoining bathroom. On the dresser were clothes, neither old nor new, but simple and comfortable-looking. The woman bid him goodnight and left Remus to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep.