Secondhand Smoke: Monique's Misadventure

Monique made her way down the walkway to the rusted mailbox standing like a war-worn soldier on the Mason property. She had once attempted painting it a bright blue, much like the sky was that early Sunday morning, and the mailbox seemingly revived due to her artistic touch. She ran her fingertips along the metal box, noticing a few places of chipped paint that needed to be retouched. The girl made a mental note to repaint it later that day as she pulled down on the door tab. It creaked slightly on its hinges, and she had to give an extra tug before it fell open. There was a huge pile of envelopes and useless magazines inside. Monique removed them, forced shut the mailbox, and walked back to her house. She kicked the front door shut behind her and dropped the pile of mail onto the warped kitchen table.

The top envelope contained an electric bill, which she placed in her father's mail pile. She shuffled through a few more bills before rolling her eyes at a Playboy magazine. That was tossed in Zach's appropriately titled "junk pile". The Home and Garden magazine and Reader's Digest were also sorted through. Near the end of the pile sat a larger manila envelope. She picked it up and examined it, searching for the name of the addressee. Her eyebrows rose when she read that the content of the package was for Monique Mason. She never got anything in the mail. This was odd. Her eyes roved to the return address. It was from London, England. The company from which the letter came was McFly Super City. Her eyes lit and her heart began pounding in her chest. Could this really be what she had waited for these past five months? She didn't wait to find out. The manila envelope was torn to shreds and fell to her feet. In her hands was her official McFly Pioneer certificate. She squealed before running around the house screaming, "It's here! It's here! I have Tom Fletcher's autograph!"

There was a slam of a door and angry footfalls. "Mo? What are you yelling for?" Zach demanded, still in his PJs. "It's morning."

"It's eleven. And…" Her certificate was produced with a flourish. "Lookie at what I got! It's my McFly certificate!"

He grunted, clearly not impressed. "Whatever."

"I finally have Tom Fletcher's autograph," she cooed in awe, staring at her certificate as if star-struck.

Zach snorted. "Girls are stupid."

"Your girlie mag is on the table," she said, not taking her eyes off of the four autographs on the paper in her hands.

Suddenly Zach was wide awake and made a beeline for the table. In a flash the magazine was in his hands; he was already beginning to flip through the pages.

"Boys are stupid," she retorted, her point made.

"So Tom's stupid?" he sneered.

Monique didn't bother answering his imbecilic question. "I bet Mom and Dad don't even know you subbed that mag."

The magazine was lowered from his unshaven face, his expression darkened and suspicious. "What are you getting at?"

Monique shrugged. "Oh, nothing. But it'd be terrible for you if they found out." She looked up to see his eyes narrowed into two little slits. "I'd like a ride to Kayley's, please."

"No."

"Okay then." She inhaled deeply, preparing to shout. "Mom, guess what Zach did!"

"Shut up!" Zach rushed forward, trying to cover his sister's mouth with his hand. "Look, I'll…" He reached for her certificate, trying to snatch it out of her hands. The effort was futile, for she clutched it tightly to her chest. Not succeeding at struggling against his sister, his shoulders finally slumped in defeat. "Fine, I'll drive you to Kayley's," he grumbled.

Monique smiled triumphantly. "That's a good boy."

Just then their mother could be heard calling from the second floor.

"Don't answer," Zach hissed through his teeth.

"Zach, if I tell on you, you'll no longer need to give me a ride. So don't worry."

She turned her face upward and called back, "Zach offered to drive me to a friend's. I'll be back later!" After answering her mother, she shot a smug expression at Zach. "So, shall we get going?

O~o~O

Kayley Evans exited her room, a compilation of sports magazines in her hands. They fell to the counter of the kitchenette with a plop. "Mum, here are all the sports magazines we've received just since we've moved here. I suspect that the former occupant of this apartment never filed a cancellation or even notified them of a change of address."

Mrs. Evans, readjusting her purse on her shoulder, stole a quick glance at the magazines adorned with photographs of famous athletes, all of whom she knew not. "I believe you guessed correctly."

Kayley nodded, her hazel eyes glued on the reading material. "I'm rather glad we've been getting these for free. They've provided me with a lot of information that can aid me whenever Jim talks sports. For example," she held up her fingers, ready to tick off the points, "I now know what a 'three-sixty spin', 'nose grab', 'airwalk grab', and 'tombstone' are in skating." She flashed a proud smile. "And we know how much James loves skateboarding."

Mrs. Evans smiled coyly. "Yes, we do. And we know how much you love him."

"Mother!" Kayley exclaimed, horrified. Even the prospect was far too frightening at that time for the girl to consider. Her porcelain face began to flush. "I do not love him, as you say! I simply respect him and enjoy his company. That is all." Her tone was serious.

Her mother wore a skeptical, whatever-you-say expression, clearly not persuaded by her daughter's plea of innocence.

"If you don't believe me I daresay you've gone sixes and sevens."

Julianna laughed, and with a shake of her head chuckled, "Whatever you say, dear, whatever you say." She reached for the doorknob and turned it, then pushed open the door leading to the hallway. "I'll be back tonight, hopefully around eightish—"

"Do you hear something?" the younger interrupted, picking up her head. "It sounds like an elephant parading up the stairs…"

Kayley walked over to where her mother stood and poked her head out the doorway, just in time to see a petite blonde jump into sight. Her tote bag slapped against her while she ran, and she was waving a document high in the air as she screamed, "Kayley! Kayley! I got it!"

Julianna exhaled slowly and whispered something unintelligible under her breath before smiling at Monique and departing for her work.

Monique skidded into the apartment, nearly out of breath, her prized document still held high above her head. "Kayley," she panted as her friend closed the door behind them, "you won't believe what I just got!"

"It appears to be a document."

"It's my certificate!"

"Your birth certificate?"

"No!" Monique wrinkled her nose, bewildered as to how her friend could mistake her precious prize for such a thing. "It's my McFly Pioneer certificate!"

"Oh!" Realization lit the English girl's face. "I see. This is that thing you were given for signing up to that Wonder City site, correct?"

"Super City," Monique corrected, beginning to pace the box-like room, too excited to sit yet still trying to catch her breath.

"That's fabulous." The brunette held out her hand. "May I see it?"

The blonde, who was nearly ready to collapse from hyperventilation, halted her pacing to consider the request. She looked over her coveted certificate once again before leaping to Kayley's side. "Yep!" A slender finger pointed out two cursive, handwritten letters, 'T' and 'F', as she announced, "That's Thomas Michael Fletcher's autograph."

Kayley intently studied the document, forcing herself not to smile. "I never would have guessed. He must be your favourite."

Monique reeled back, appalled at her friend. "I can't believe you—" Kayley cracked a smile, revealing her joke. "Oh, you were being sarcastic. You said it so seriously that I thought you were for real."

Kayley giggled. "I am for real, you twit. I'm a living being, composed of flesh and blood." She playfully flicked Monique on the shoulder. "And, unlike Edward Cullen and his family, I enjoy the sun, which is further proof I'm human.

"Speaking of which, today is a gorgeous day." She gestured toward the window, through which sunlight was pouring into the living room. "I'm glad the sun shines. I mean, I love the rain and cold and everything, probably because that's what I've grown up with all my life and I'm adjusted to it. But this…this makes me wish I was back in Salisbury and I could ride my horse."

"Maybe you should go out and enjoy the sunshine," Monique suggested after a moment's silence.

Kayley sighed. "Yes, I would but I've already made plans."

"Oh, right." Monique nudged the girl in the arm. "'Plans'. Would those plans happen to involve a certain someone by the name of Jim?" The addressed needn't answer, for her blush gave her away. "Thought so." With a satisfied smirk she continued, "And when will he be arriving to pick you up?"

Not understanding why Monique would think such a thing, Kayley turned an inquisitive expression on the blonde standing before her.

"My brother observed in his numerous trials of stalking you that Jim always comes here, and then you two leave and go somewhere. You always do," was the explanation.

"Actually, I don't know," Kayley replied, readjusting the black scrunchie in her auburn ponytail. "He just said to be ready before he got here." She paused to listen to the slamming of a car door outside her apartment building. She walked over to the window and peered down at the street just in time to see a young man shrug on his jacket as he briskly made his way through the lobby doors. A brilliant smile lit her face as she announced, "And look, he's here!"

Monique nodded and, with a toss of her shoulder length hair, commented, "Yeah, you really don't look forward to his visits at all."

Kayley scowled, softly slapping her friend on the arm. "Mo, hush up." She began leading her to the door, nearly shoving her with everything step. "I love the certificate, really; it's wonderful and I'm so glad you finally have Tom's signature. And probably invisible thumbprints, for all I know."

"Omigosh, I hadn't thought of that! Just think, I could have Tom's physical identity in my hands!" Monique exclaimed, excited.

"Yes, it's quite exciting." The front door swung open and Kayley stepped aside, gesturing for her friend to leave. "I'm sure your other friends would love to see it, too…"

Mo's expression was blank, for she was not picking up on the hint.

"You know, the ones who like Twilight and Jacob Black."

"Viola and Violet!" She slapped her forehead. "That's right; they need to see this too!" Monique sprinted out of the apartment, not casting a look back until she was halfway down the hallway. "Bye Kayley!"

Before Kayley could have a chance to respond, Jim reached the top of the stairs—just as Monique was refocusing her attention on the surroundings. Kayley gasped as her two friends nearly avoided a serious collision. Jim plastered himself against the wall as the speeding girl whizzed past. "Hi, Jim!" Kayley could hear her friend say even as she was continuing her wild dash down the stairs.

Jim shot a questioning look at Kayley, who was in the midst of unsuccessfully stifling a giggle. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," Kayley replied with a shake of her head. "She's just being Mo."

"She seems in a hurry," he remarked, finally loosening his grip on a large, rectangular object in his hands.

And that's when she realized he had brought with him a laptop. She nodded toward the machine. "Are we staying here?" She sounded surprised.

"Yes," he said with a crooked smile. "I know you don't have a DVD player, so I brought my laptop. We're gonna watch a movie."

Pleased, the girl clasped her hands together. "Splendid!"

O~o~O~o~O

Jim's face scrunched up into a knot as he stared unblinkingly at the images on the laptop's screen. "What?" he gawked in disbelief. "Beth dies? That's just messed up." He shook his head, causing his bangs to sway back and forth in front of his eyes. "That's disturbing. And of course you just had to pick Little Women."

One of her delicate hands reached up and brushed his bangs out of his eyes. "It bothered me at first too, but it serves a purpose. And," she added, "it was either this or Austin Powers. You know Little Women is my favourite piece of fiction. Besides, you brought the movie, so you asked for it."

He grunted, knowing he was beaten but too stubborn to admit it. She laughed. "I told you about Beth's death when we were talking about the book…a few weeks ago. You forgot, obviously. Boys never listen!"

He smiled tauntingly. "Oh yeah? At least I made a point to remember your favorite book."

Just then their discussion was interrupted by a brisk, urgent sounding knock on the apartment door. "I wonder who that could be," Kayley mused as she stood up from the sofa.

"Don't answer it," Jim whispered.

"But what if it's important?" With that, she stepped forward and peeked through the peep hole. Outside stood Monique, her head hanging low and her face tear-stained. Impatient, she began knocking once again.

The door swung open. "Oh my gosh, Mo, are you all right?" Kayley cried as Mo pushed her way into the apartment.

"Thank goodness you're home, Kayley. I have devastating news!" Monique tossed herself on the sofa, landing right next to Jim, who eyed the girl suspiciously.

"I tried calling and you weren't answering but I just had to talk to you so I came all the way over here to see you. I need your help."

"What happened?"

Monique drew out a long, dramatic sigh as she cast a forlorn glance out the window, alongside which was set the loveseat.

Kayley bit her lip, desperately wishing her friend would cut the suspense and get to the chase. Finally, Monique mustered up enough strength to answer almost inaudibly, "I lost my McFly certificate."

Kayley stared blankly at her devastated friend, not believing the words she had just heard.

Jim's eyes roved from the unblinking brunette to the blonde beside him. "Am I not getting something?"

"It's a tragedy," Monique whined, sadly shaking her head from side to side.

"Well, where did you last have it?" Kayley asked as she sat down beside her.

"I don't know! If I knew that then it wouldn't be lost!"

The English girl was quiet for a moment, biting back a quip of her own. However, when she spotted James Pleiades Hawkins desperately attempting to hide his snicker, she was not hesitant to shoot him a reproving glower.

"What I mean is, where do you last remember having it?"

"Well," Monique sniffed, "I'm not sure. I'm too upset to think right now."

"Sometimes the best way to remember things is to recall everything one has done leading up to that critical point. Do you understand?"

"Yeah…so you think I should go over everything I did today with the certificate?"

Kayley nodded.

Realizing that Monique would be leaving in no time soon, Jim loudly snapped shut the laptop and placed it on the floor.

Both girls ignoring him, Monique nodded her head, ready to begin. Taking a deep, quavering breath, she began her story.

"Well, once I had opened my envelope and found my McFly certificate inside, I gathered up my tote and iPod and made Zach drive me over here. I showed—"

"Wait, you made Zach drive you over here?" Kayley interrupted, wondering how anyone could make Zach do anything.

"It really wasn't that difficult, it only took a little persuading—"

Jim grinned, scoffing at the remark. "Yeah, I'm sure once he knew you were coming to see Kayley he jumped at the opportunity. That's guy's a real freak. He needs to get a clue that she's not interested!"

"It's okay, Jim," Kayley cooed soothingly, smiling gently at his display of concern.

"It really wasn't like that at all," Monique replied to Jim's little outburst. She grinned devilishly as she continued, "I blackmailed him into being my chauffer. He reads inappropriate magazines that Mom and Dad don't know about.

"Anyway, after you mentioned Viola and Violet, I ran off and had Zach take me to the skate park, where I was pretty sure that they would be hanging." She turned her blue eyes to the skateboarder, who was fiddling with his jacket zipper. "Hey, maybe you've run into them!"

The boy showed no sign of intending to respond. After being nudged in the arm, Jim finally tore his eyes from the zipper and looked up into the expectant face of the blonde. "Oh…uh, what was the question?"

Annoyed, her gaze swung back over to Kayley. "Anyway, I had to walk through the grungy skate park until I finally got to that wooden ramp thing shaped like half a doughnut."

"That's called a half-pipe," Jim corrected.

"So as I said," Monique continued, not acknowledging Jim's addition to the conversation, "They were waiting at the half-doughnut ramp, watching the latest skateboarding competition."

Kayley nodded, encouraging Monique to proceed.

"They were both sitting on the concrete wall, popping their gum, of course. I walked over to the base of the wall and tugged on Violet's black jeggings. She looked down, and when she noticed the certificate in my hand she smiled—well, what's considered a smile for her, anyway." Monique pinched her nose to better mimic Violet's voice. "She said, 'All right, Blondie got Butterscotch's signature.'

"Butterscotch is her name for Tom, of course."

Kayley giggled, for Mo completely mastered the high-pitched, nasally voice.

"Hey," Jim announced suddenly in realization, "That sounds like one of the chicks who hangs out at the Mullaly Skate Park. She's always there."

"By George, I think he's got it!" Kayley exclaimed, laughing.

His expression turned blank. "Got what?"

Monique waved her hand dismissively at Jim's question before resuming, "That's when Viola finally glanced down. She was dangling her feet and swaying back and forth. Headphones were stuck on her ears. She shouted something like, 'Awesome! Got Dougie on there?' I nodded and Viola asked to see it, so I raised my hand to give it to her and she snatched it away. She really enjoyed Dougie's signature, and Violet mentioned that Harry's was pretty awesome, too."

"Then what happened?"

"Well, after begging for it back—Zach has a short temper and even shorter patience and I didn't want to keep him waiting too long for me—I got it back and dashed to the truck. I climbed inside and then wrangled with my seatbelt. I remember it was difficult to put on with the certificate in my hands, so I set it down to make it easier. That's the last I remember having it.

"After we returned home, I went to my room and began rummaging through my various purses until I could find enough money to buy a can of blue paint."

"Blue paint?" Jim repeated.

"Yes, I wanted to touch up the mailbox, which is painted blue. Anyhow, that's when I remembered that I hadn't yet shown my mom the certificate. At this point of the day she's still at work, but I wanted to make sure I had my certificate ready for when my mom got back. Well, that's when disaster struck." Her eyes welled with tears and she hesitated briefly. "It wasn't on my dresser or nightstand or even the kitchen table. I scoured the house from floor to roof; I rummaged through everything. I tore up my room four times before giving up on it being there. So now my room looks like a display from a twister alley and my certificate is nowhere to be found."

"Did you check the truck?"

Monique sighed and repositioned herself on the sofa. "Yes, but it was futile. I even contemplated searching Zach's room for it in case he decided to steal it from me, but I eventually decided against it. I know that sounds stupid to not check. Truth be told, I did start searching but he walked in and found me. He was adamant that he had not taken it. I didn't fully believe him, so I threatened him again with blackmailing if he didn't tell me where it was. He said he wouldn't want a stupid piece of paper with somebody's writing on it anyway, and to prove it, he said I could search his room. Well, that told me right there he didn't have it."

"I wouldn't put it past him to tell you that to throw you off, Mo," said Kayley, who was deep in thought over the matter.

"I would," Jim spoke up. He shrugged. "He really wouldn't have any reason for stealing your certificate except for the money he could make off it, and if he tried to sell it he'd get reported because he's obviously not a whatever-you-call-it on that boy band site."

"I believe the words you're looking for are 'Pioneer' and 'Super City site'," Mo hissed through clenched teeth, not pleased with Jim for daring to refer to the unbelievable McFly as a typical boy band.

"So then you came here?" the brunette interjected as she tapped Monique on the shoulder.

Her attention refocused, Monique frowned at the girl. "No. I tried calling you to ask if you could have any possible ideas of where it might be, but no one answered your landline and your cellphone went straight to voicemail. Kayley, what's the point of a phone if you don't use it?"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she apologized. "My mobile is turned off and on the charger, and I never heard the landline. Did you, Jim?" He shook his head, his bangs once again swinging in front of his eyes.

Monique stood up and reached into her pocket, only to remove her own mobile. She slid it open and clicked on her recent calls log. "I'm sure I called you," she said, peering at her screen. Just then the log appeared. "Aha!" she exclaimed triumphantly, outstretching her arm and holding the phone in front of Kayley's hazel eyes.

"That's not my number."

"What?" The blonde retracted the phone and studied the number before her face turned beet red. "Oh…" She slowly closed the phone and placed it back in her pocket. "Sorry. I guess Viola and Violet can have a good laugh at my frantic message when they get back to their house."

"I'm sure they will. So, what happened after that?"

"Well…" Monique began absentmindedly twirling a blonde strand of hair around her finger. "I had to blackmail Zachy again to take me to Sarah's Café. I know Jim works there and you go there to chill, so I thought maybe you guys had actually gone there to, like, chillax or something. Like, maybe Mrs. Hawkins would give you guys a free meal."

"Oh no," Jim moaned in humiliation, burying his face in his hands. "Please don't tell me you went there."

"I went there, and your mom popped up from behind the hostess desk," Monique laughed. "She was donning her bonnet and everything."

He was almost afraid to ask, but he had to know. "What did she say?"

Monique jumped up from the sofa. "'Hi!'" She exclaimed sprightly, waving erratically. A huge grin was plastered on her face. "'Welcome to Sarah's Café! How many menus do you need, hon?'"

Though mortified, Jim managed to chuckle at the imitation of his mother. "Okay, I've seen enough, Mo."

"I told her I was looking for Kayley because I couldn't contact her by phone," Monique said, readjusting her Beatles tote that had been knocked awry by her crazy antics. "Your mom planted her hands on her hips and was like, 'Really? Hold on a minute, sweetie, I'm going to ask Julianna where her daughter is, okay?' So she fetched Mrs. Evans for me, who was surprised to hear I could not reach you, Kayley. She told me that you might have stayed home, so if I wanted I could see if you were there. Either that, or I could go to Jim's house, but I have no idea where he lives, so I took my chances and came here."

Kayley stood and rolled up her teal, white, and gray plaid sleeves. "This is so peculiar." She began pacing, deep in thought. "It feels like we're missing something that's staring us right in the face."

"I know," the other girl voiced in complete agreement. She pulled her tote up higher on her shoulder as she again thought over the details.

Jim nodded toward her tote bag. "Nice. Did you design that yourself? I mean like the Beatles stuff on it?"

Monique's thoughts broken, she glanced down at her bag. "Oh, yeah, I did, thanks."

At that moment Kayley stopped short in her pacing and wheeled around to face her friends. However, Jim was one step ahead and already asking, "Did you have that with you the entire day?"

"Yes," Monique answered slowly, unsure of what Jim's point was.

"Monique, did you even look inside to see if your certificate was in it?"

"Of course…wait, no. I would have remembered if I had put it in here, though, that's why I didn't check." Despite her words, she opened up her bag and glanced inside. Her blue eyes widened at seeing the contents of the bag. Smiling sheepishly, she removed from it her McFly certificate. Just as quickly as the sheepish expression came on, it was immediately replaced with jubilation, and Monique began bouncing up and down, squealing.

Kayley slapped her forehead as she collapsed backwards onto the sofa. Jim glanced down at her, the both of them wearing the same, exasperated expression.

"I'm so excited! Thank you so much!" The girl threw her arms around Jim in thanks before skipping out of the apartment. "Enjoy your movie!"

They stared at the door for a moment, still shocked at the outcome of the mystery.

"Wow. That was…interesting," mused James as he opened up the laptop.

"Indeed."

"You don't think she was spying on us for Zach again, do you?"

"Spying? No. She and I already had that talk."

"But do you think he sent her over here?"

Kayley pressed the play button and the movie resumed. "I haveth no idea."

It was only about seven minutes before Monique rushed back into the apartment, out of breath. "Guys, Zach left me here! He must've gotten tired of waiting for me." Panting, she took a few steps forward before falling onto the floor. "It's approximately a five mile walk back to my place."

"Oh, that's too bad," Jim offered half-heartedly. Kayley elbowed him. "Ow! What…?"

He was able to endure staring at Kayley's puppy-dog pout for two seconds before grumbling, "Oh, all right." Standing, he reached into his cargo pants for the keys to his car. "Come on, Mo, let's go."

The girl sprung up. "Oh, that's so sweet; you really don't have to do that!"

"I know," he answered, opening the door and ushering her out into the hall.

As the door shut behind them, Monique could be heard asking, "Hey, Jim, did I ever tell you about McFly on the Wall?" He groaned just as the door clicked into place.

Laughing, Kayley picked up the laptop and lay back on the sofa. "Now for some peace and quiet!"