AN: A couple of points before we get to the story

-This fic started out as a comic idea, but it got too big to draw.

-It is a complete mess, but I'm deciding to post it anyway.

-I probably missed someone, probably.

-There are lots of implied pairings, the most heavily implied being PrUk, but it can be read as a bromance

-I don't own Hetalia

Everything's Better with Nerf Guns

In hindsight England really should have figured he wasn't the only one rigging up his house in the middle of the night. This lack of foresight was precisely why he was hanging by his ankles from the ceiling after picking up his favourite teacup early on April Fool's morning.

'Bloody hell, Prussia! All I wanted was to make a cup of tea. Get me down!'

The sound of cackling laughter and footsteps from the other side of the house suddenly stopped with a loud crash. England smirked; Prussia must have fallen over one of the trip wires he'd set up.

'Goddammit England! I can't get you down because someone rigged a stupid bookshelf to fall on me and I'm stuck underneath it!'

Whoops.

'If you see a green book, push it back into the shelf!' England called back, already becoming dizzy from the blood rushing to his head.

Moments later he got a reply:

'Thanks, but I'm not stupid enough to come get you! Pull the rope hanging next to you!'

England did as he was told and immediately fell straight down the – unfortunately hard – floorboards.

'Gently!' Prussia added belatedly amid cackles.

'Bastard,' England muttered, rubbing his head where he had hit the ground.

After being pelted by frozen peas, tripping over jelly (which would take forever to remove from his carpet), being ejected out of a window (how Prussia managed to rig that one, one would never know) and subjected to various other pranks of this variety, England had certainly had enough. Sure, Prussia had probably fallen into his own fair share of England's pranks, but that didn't matter at the moment. Currently the island nation was sitting on the railing of the staircase landing (after brushing away the half a dozen sock puppets that descended from the ceiling), waiting for his chance to strike.

He didn't have to wait long, as a mop of distinctive white hair soon appeared beneath him. England leapt of the railing, landing on the other nation and straddling his chest.

'Give up yet?' he asked, reaching for the handcuffs that he'd pocketed earlier – only to that Prussia was lazily waving them in front of his face.

'Never,' he replied, throwing the handcuffs behind him and pulling a previously unnoticed streamer, before rolling out of the way.

Slightly stunned by Prussia's sudden movement, England looked up – a mistake as the liquid pouring down then hit him straight in the face.

'Sweet tea!' he spluttered, spitting the offending liquid out of his mouth. 'That stupid American's sorry excuse of a beverage.'

Now standing several feet away, Prussia was smirking.

'How much of that crap did you buy off America?'

'Oh about a gallon,' Prussia replied nonchalantly as he walked away. 'I used West's credit card.'

Another hour or so later and two exhausted nations were grinning and sitting back to back. England was careful not to lean too much on Prussia as the latter had received a spectacular honey and feathering courtesy of the former.

'Truce?'

'Truce,'

'Alright, let's declare war on the world!'

They grinned devilishly at each other, previous exhaustion forgotten.

France, having thoroughly enjoyed his beauty sleep, awoke to a fine spring morning.

'Ah, now to put my magnificent plan into act—'

He was cut off by a nerf gun pellet hitting him right between his eyes.

'Merde!' France screamed as an onslaught of pellets hit him, attempting to both shield himself and indentify his attacker at the same time.

Or rather, his attackers.

'Prusse? Why? I expected Angleterre but—'

While France was distracted by Prussia's presence, England had sent a volley of pellets straight at his "Vital Regions". The two attacking nations then exchanged hi fives and left as swiftly as they came as France screeched in pain.

After that traumatising experience, France decided to crawl back into bed and sleep for the rest of the day.

Of all things Germany expected to be on his desk as he entered his study, a nerf gun was not one of them. There was a note with the toy weapon reading:

"Hey Little Bro,

Protect yourself.

—Your Awesome Big Brother Prussia"

Germany figured this meant France was plotting another devious prank this April Fool's day, and shuddered.

The next thing he knew, his study window shattered and Prussia was in the room pelting him with nerf gun pellets.

'Wha—'

'I warned you!' Prussia hollered as he jumped back out of the window.

Germany sighed at the damage and hoped this would be the last prank he would be on the receiving end of that day.

A paper aeroplane flew into through the broken window. Scrawled on it in Prussia's messy handwriting was:

"Don't worry, we'll leave Italy alone."

Well, at least that was a relief.

Denmark was just hoping to drink his beer in peace, he should have taken into account the fact it was the first of April.

He reached for his beer, only for it to hit the ground before his fingers even closed around it. Narrowing his eyes he glared at the doorway. As he suspected, there was Prussia, wielding a nerf gun. Demark decided to ignore him and reach for another can somewhere out of Prussia's range.

That also hit the ground.

'What the?'

England was standing outside his open window, also armed with a nerf gun.

'Don't you two know to mess with Vikings?' Denmark asked.

'Oh we know that,' England replied not at all concerned.

'The thing is,' Prussia was smirking. 'Norway and Sweden bribed us to leave them alone and only prank you.'

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

Prussia was currently hiding behind a tree, England right beside him. The two nations were laughing hysterically while attempting to catch their breaths. Apparently it hadn't occurred to them that taking on the heavily armed and trigger happy Switzerland with nerf guns wasn't a good idea.

'I think we lost him,' Prussia wheezed.

A warning shot hitting one of the branches above them told them this was not the case.

'Run,' England said, and the two of them began to run for their lives.

'What are you doing?' a familiar voice asked Prussia as he sat atop Austria's piano.

'Stealing the Sissy's piano strings, duh. What does it look like I'm—' Prussia cut off as he registered who the voice belonged to.

Hungary stood a little distance off, rapping her knuckles menacingly on her frying pan.

'Uh England? You were supposed to cover for me here…'

'Indeed I was,' England stepped out from behind a marble statue of a nymph. 'I was just examining Austria's interesting taste in art.'

He opened fire on Hungary, causing her to repurpose her weapon as a shield while Prussia jumped out yet another window, before following suit himself.

Hungary stared out the window after them, perhaps she would be able to get her revenge later…with her camera.

Having ditched the nerf guns for paintball guns, the two co-conspirators splattered the house of a certain pony loving nation yellow.

'That was like totally un-fabulous!' Poland called after them as they left. 'You could have at least used pink!'

'You know what?' Prussia suddenly asked put of the blue as they headed east.

'What?'

'I've changed my mind about pranking Russia. Let get China instead.'

An hour later and all the Asian nations were confusedly returning all their beloved pets, toys and weapons to each other, wondering how in the world they had ended up at each other's houses

The Commonwealth of Nations and a few micronations were having a secret meeting as to how to prank a certain former empire. Only they couldn't seem agree on any ideas.

'We hold strap fireworks to his chair,' Hong Kong suggested.

'Yeah nah,' Australia said. 'I say we take some of the wildlife from my place and put them in his garden.'

'The last time we tried that, the animals attacked us.' New Zealand countered.

'So?'

'We could send him a crateful of coconut and let try and figure out the meaning of it,' Seychelles interrupted before New Zealand could tell Australia off.

'Likewise we could send him a cow,' India suggested.

'We could send him a gallon of maple syrup too,'

As usual Canada was ignored.

'You could all recognise me as a nation,' Sealand announced. 'That'll show jerk England!'

'Typical,'

The nations holding the secret meeting froze as the word, spoken in a familiar accent drifted from an air vent.

Prussia rolled his eyes and kicked off the grill on his vent, then began strafing the room. It would have been nice to hear more of the interesting conversation, but England had blown their cover.

America arrived at England's house, hoping he could play a prank on the said nation.

'That's weird,' he commented when he noticed England's door was opened. 'I normally have to break it down.

The inside of the house was eerily dark, all the curtains were drawn but no lights had been turned on.

'Iggy?' America called out as he realised the house was in a state of disarray. 'Are you home?'

There was one light on in the entire house – the bathroom light. America peered around the door, and froze.

England lay in the bathtub, eyes closed, covered in a dark red substance.

'Oh my god,' America was almost hyperventilating. He moved closer to the bathtub, England couldn't possibly be dead.

The light flickered out.

An ominous click echoed through the darkness.

America turned around.

A masked figure was standing in the shadowy doorway, holding a very large gun.

America promptly let out a high pitched scream.

The figure made a sudden move and America was pelted by…

Nerf gun pellets?

The lights turned back on as Prussia pulled the mask from his face and began to laugh. Behind America, more laughter caused him to look around, revealing that England was in fact nowhere near dead.

'That scream was epic,' Prussia guffawed.

'Best prank we pulled all day,' England agreed.

America wasn't quite sure how to react.

Omake

'This fake blood is not going to come off my clothes,' England grumbled after America left.

'It was worth hearing America scream though,' Prussia countered, while pulling up the footage from the night vision camera he'd installed into the bathroom onto his laptop. 'Besides, you don't hear me complaining about the honey and feathers you poured on me.'

'If we start on that, you poured a gallon of shitty American tea on me,'

'Oh whatever, come look at the expression on America's face,'

It was by mutual agreement that the fake blood was worth it after all.

Well, happy April Fool's if you stuck around to read the whole of this mess.