ELEGY
by
AstraPerApsera
Chapter One
(A/N: Thanks to my betas, mara-anni and jenniferjf. Yes. It takes two to keep me in line.)
"Could someone please tell me why we're here?"
She couldn't blame Daniel for the irritation in his voice. Truth be told, she was a bit annoyed herself. And Teal'c was…well, if she'd known him less well she would have thought him indifferent; but there was a subtle tenseness in the way he clasped his hands on the table in front of him that made her pretty sure he was sharing in their commiseration. Technically, none of them were supposed to be here. Which simply meant, of course, that they all were here, just doing the things that they seemed never to have the time to do when they were actually here. Such as cataloguing two months' back-log of artifacts, in Daniel's case. Or figuring out the best approach to determining the decay rate of naquadah in hers. Even now the naquadah generator was sitting enticingly in her lab, just waiting for her undivided attention.
"It is my understanding that O'Neill has requested our presence," replied Teal'c, nodding slightly in the direction of General Hammond's office. Through the window that separated it from the briefing room she could see the colonel and the general deep in conversation, a faintly baffled look on Hammond's face. From her angle the colonel looked completely relaxed, his hands shoved unconcernedly in his pockets, a slight slouch to his shoulders. But she knew, as she watched him, that it was a practiced casualness, one he'd used dozens of times to control deeper emotions he was trying to keep at bay. Or concealed. She could think of a half dozen ego-maniacal goa'uld and similarly afflicted NID agents who'd fallen for the act. She had no illusions, however, that General Hammond was fooled in the least, which probably accounted for the perplexed look he was giving the colonel, who seemed to be doing most of the talking.
"I thought Jack left here hours ago," Daniel said, now watching the same scene she was through the office window. "He said something about beer, Playstation and twenty-four hours of uninterrupted sleep."
She smiled slightly at the typical Colonel O'Neill remark but kept her eyes steadily on the exchange that was still taking place in the general's office. Hammond was leaning forward on his elbows talking now. His look had changed to one of patient indulgence and she saw the colonel shift his weight slightly. Probably it was just his knee giving him trouble—he said it had been acting up since they'd been cooped up in those cages on P2X-416. Still, his hands looked as if he'd pushed them even deeper into his pockets, a sign that whatever it was Hammond was saying now wasn't what he'd been hoping to hear.
"He did not," replied Teal'c to Daniel's remark. "We sparred for a considerable time in the gymnasium not more than two hours ago. In spite of the fact that I defeated him soundly, he seemed reluctant to stop. When I insisted, he asked if I would join him for lunch in the commissary. However, I had already promised Sergeant Siler that I would assist him with a project and had to decline. That was the last I saw of O'Neill. Until now," he added, indicating the direction of Hammond's office.
She realized it was probably bad form for all of them to be staring at their commanding officers discussing whatever it was they were discussing, so she made a concerted effort to draw her eyes away, noticing, before she did, that the colonel seemed to be talking again. Hammond's face had changed once more as he listened—it softened as she'd seen it do when he was dealing with matters that were more personal than professional. And yes…she was still looking when she shouldn't. Time for her to study something other than the two men on the other side of the glass.
She didn't need to divert her attention for long. Moments later Jack strode into the briefing room, rubbing his hands together, an overly bright smile stretching his face. Hammond was right behind him.
"Good news, kids!" he exclaimed. "We get to go on a field trip!"
"I thought we were out of the mission rotation for a few days, sir?" The colonel's exuberance had only brought deadpan looks from around the table. She thought of the generator sitting in her lab and suppressed a sigh. Daniel and Teal'c looked equally as un-enthusiastic.
"Something's come up, Carter. A very important survey of P4X-6-something-something. We're needed as escorts."
"P4X-656?" asked Daniel, sharing a confused glance with her. "I thought the UAV survey determined it was an uninhabited planet. There weren't even any sign of ruins."
"Reading suggested there might be some naquadah deposits beneath the surface, but we have no way of knowing how far down they might be," she replied. "We speculated that some goa'uld might have staked a claim to the planet years ago and then somehow lost track of it. But as far as we can tell, there has never been any evidence to support that mining ever took place there," she added. It had been the only explanation they could come up with that fit the evidence.
"Which is what SG-5 is being sent to investigate. Along with a team of geologists who will be working with some of our own mining experts to see if the planet could prove to be a viable source of naquadah for our own use, " explained Hammond patiently.
"I understand," replied Daniel, his eyes going back and forth between Hammond and the colonel, as if trying to figure something out. "I read the report…what I don't understand is…why us? If the planet is uninhabited, aren't two SG teams overkill?"
"Can't be too careful, these days, Daniel," the colonel answered him breezily. "You know what they say…an ounce of prevention…."
"…is worth a pound of something," muttered Daniel under his breath. She had to smother a smile and she even thought she saw a slight tug at the corner of Teal'c's mouth when she glanced his way.
"Considering that it may take several days to reach the primary vein of naquadah, it seems prudent to send an SG team as back-up to guard the gate while SG-5 provides primary support to the scientists," Hammond said, deliberately overlooking Daniel's not quite sotto voce remark. "It should be fairly routine. I'm sorry to pull you off your downtime, but there are no other teams available at the moment."
"Wait a minute…SG9 was supposed to be back-up on this mission. I saw…oh, what's his name…" Daniel snapped his fingers impatiently, finally remembering it. "Wells…on his way to the infirmary for his pre-mission check. He was complaining about baby-sitting the gate…."
Sam thought she saw a slight twitch on the general's face at Daniel's comment, but it might have been a trick of her eyes.
"One of their team turned up questionable on the physical," supplied the colonel. "You know Ol' Doc Fraiser: sneeze once and you're side-lined. So we're pinch-hitting." There was that smile again. The one she just couldn't quite bring herself to believe.
That, and the fact that Hammond seemed unable to meet her gaze…or anyone else's for that matter.
"Good luck, Colonel," he said quietly, patting the colonel's shoulder as he retreated back toward his office.
"Thank you, sir!" the colonel replied enthusiastically. "I'm sure we'll all have a wonderful time!" Then, turning to where they all still sat, he shooed them off. "Go on…get geared up. We're outta here in 30 minutes."
Sam couldn't help exchanging mystified glances one more time with both Daniel and Teal'c. Something about this just smelled wrong. But, an order was an order. She pushed back from the table and followed her teammates out the door with a sigh.
It looked like naquadah's rate of decay would remain a mystery for a few more days.
o-o-o-o-o
All things considered, it could have been much worse. The sun could have been hotter. Or the wind could have been colder. Or they could have been stuck staring at a flat plain of nothingness for as far as the eye could see. Even more annoying, they could have been in the midst of a rainforest with constant drizzle and whatever passed as alien mosquitoes using them for their evening meal. But in this instance the gate was located on a slight hill in the midst of other slight hills with terrain that suggested that at one time a glacier might have crawled slowly over this part of the planet hundreds of millennia before. The grass was tall and rippled in the pleasant breeze, broken only by scattered trees that were enormous in both girth and height. The crushed path of grass leading away from the gate vanished over the adjacent hill where SG5 and its science team had vanished hours ago. Aside from the sound of the wind in the grass and the occasional twitter of a bird in the nearby trees, it was blissfully silent and peaceful. They really couldn't have asked for a more idyllic site.
Or a more boring one. After scouting the perimeter and setting up camp, once SG5 had left there was literally nothing else to do. Experience had taught her to bring along something to keep herself occupied on missions like this, and if she couldn't actually work on the naquadah generator at least she could spend some quality time thinking about it. Daniel too, she knew, had brought along something to study—she'd seen him hurriedly shoving three books in his rucksack before he hefted it and then opted to remove one of them.
Yet neither of them had made a move toward their alternate activities. They were both watching the colonel who had yet to sit down during the entire three hours they had already been here. He'd taken Teal'c with him twice to walk the perimeter and when he hadn't been scouting the line he'd been prowling back and forth by the gate with all the pent-up energy of a caged beast. His earlier enthusiasm had given way to a detached remoteness that, had he not practically begged for this assignment, would have been more in line with what she'd have expected from him in this situation.
None of it made sense.
"Why would the colonel volunteer us for something like this?" she wondered aloud to Daniel, who was sitting next to her under one of the tower-like trees. It reminded her of an oak, but it wasn't like any oak she'd ever seen. "You know how he feels about scientists…and about cooling his heels waiting for them to do what it is they do. He hates these kinds of assignments. I just don't get it."
"I think I'm starting to…." Daniel's voice trailed off and she saw he was following Jack's pacing with his gaze. "What's the date today?"
She checked her watch just to make sure.
"The seventeenth. Why?"
"August, right?"
She loved Daniel, but sometimes he did live in his own little world.
"All month," she replied, trying to keep her sarcasm in check. "Again…why?"
A sigh escaped from the man next to her.
"Yeah…thought so," he mumbled, more to himself than to her.
"Daniel?"
He seemed to suddenly recall she was sitting beside him.
"What? Oh…sorry. Nothing. It's just…." He seemed like he was about to say more then thought better of it. "Nothing."
She felt her level of frustration ratchet up a notch. And it wasn't just because of her thwarted time off. They had, it seemed, just gotten the colonel back and the team re-established. Those horrible three months he was missing followed so soon after by the NID sting had left them all licking their wounded feelings just a bit. Now the colonel's odd behavior suggested that maybe everything wasn't quite as nicely healed up as she'd thought it had been. Maybe Daniel had some kind of insight….
"If you've got any idea what's going on…," she prodded him, trying not to sound irritated but failing. "Daniel…please…."
He pulled at a strand of nearby grass and twirled it between his fingers contemplating it. Finally he appeared to arrive at some decision and, tossing the stem aside, took a deep breath.
"August seventeenth is the anniversary of the day that Charlie…died" he paused a moment, glancing in the colonel's direction. "Jack's always made a point of being off-world when it comes around. I should have guessed."
"Oh god!" The exclamation escaped before she realized it.
Daniel glanced at her sympathetically. "He must have badgered Hammond into letting us take SG9's place when he realized we were out of the rotation for a few days and he'd be stuck with being at home today. No wonder he was so eager to come."
She made no reply. She couldn't. The tightness in her throat made it impossible to utter a sound. Tears stung her eyes and she turned away from Daniel so he wouldn't see. Not that he wouldn't have understood; he better than any of them knew what it had been like for the colonel. But the intensity of her own emotions took her by surprise and her heart literally ached as she watched the man in the distance, his restless wanderings taking on entirely new significance.
If only she'd known….
Then what? There was nothing she could have done—no words she could have spoken that wouldn't have only made the day even worse. How could she even dare to think that she could offer anything that might lessen his pain? She'd known loss, yes, but not like his. She couldn't even begin to imagine what he carried inside of him. Most of the time it didn't even occur to her, but on those handful of occasions when it was raised, she realized just how far from her he was.
And alone. As he was now, silhouetted against the empty gate, his ball cap pulled low.
And as much as she wanted to somehow ease his burden, she knew that no gesture she could make would suffice—or be welcomed. If she knew anything at all about the man, she knew that. There was nothing she could do.
Nothing except follow his lead and see the mission through.
"Come on," she told Daniel, scrambling to her feet and dusting off her pants. He looked up at her, blinking against the sun behind her.
"Where are we going?"
"To do our job." She jerked her head in the direction of the gate. "And bring those books you packed. After I'm done regaling the colonel with my theories of naquadah decay rates, you're going to dazzle us with whatever the heck it is you brought to read."
Daniel dredged the two books from his bag and reached for his notebook as well. Standing he said: "It's never going to be enough to fill up the whole day, you know that."
She shrugged.
"I'm pretty sure Teal'c can come up with a First Prime story or two. And if all else fails, I know I have a deck of cards in my pack somewhere."
"He'd hate it if he knew," Daniel commented, falling into step beside her through the tall grass. She spotted Teal'c off in the distance and signaled him to meet them at the gate.
He was right. The colonel would hate it. Which was why he'd never know. As his 2IC—as his friend—that was her job too, after all.
"We'll be fine," she replied, trying to feel as assured as she hoped she sounded. Up ahead she could see that the colonel was already alert to their change of position, his restlessness stilled for the moment as he waited for their approach. They'd help him get through this day somehow. No matter what it took. Or how long.
They would see this mission through.