John is hesitant when he enters their safe house apartment. He looks as guilty as Harold feels. John hangs up his scarf and overcoat then bows his head in shame as he approaches Harold. John says in a whispered voice laced with regret, "Iris finally made a pass."
John really must be out of it to not notice Harold is drinking alone in the dark. Harold looks up from his scotch. "How did that go? She tell you who she's working for in a fit of ecstasy and passion?"
John looks scandalized when he raises his head and snaps, "No! I only kissed her!"
Harold nods with understanding. "This time."
John swallows and looks away miserably.
Harold sighs, "Sit down Mr. Reese. We have been over this. You're activities with Dr. Campbell are necessary, but they are far from cheating on me. You know that."
John slumps down on the couch next to Harold, their thighs are touching. John needs the contact after today. "I don't have to like it, Finch."
Harold puts down his glass to fill his hands with John's noble skull and thick hair. Harold kisses John with all the rage, passion, despair, and hope that hides inside, deep down. They have to do so many things against their natures. It is for the greater good, but it still feels like a betrayal of who they are as men, as a couple.
John grabs Harold like a life line. He melts into the kiss, boneless and free in a way he never could be with anyone else. The awkwardness and disconnected feeling from the kiss with Iris is in stark contrast to the complete abandon John experiences with Harold's embrace. This is right and true. Nothing here is tainted by work or the mission. This is where John wants to be not where he has to be.
Harold reluctantly begins to pull away. John will not like what Harold has to say and it will most likely ruin the mood. However, keeping secrets between them is on a need-only basis. There is no need to keep what happened today a secret. It would only backfire when Root divulges all in an attempt to get John to pull the reigns in on Harold. Harold sits back before they get so into it that he forgets to report to John.
A little breathlessly, Harold says, "I need to tell you what happened with that Number you sent."
John leans in and snuggles close to Harold's chest, just listening like a child to a bedtime story. That is until Harold relates to him about swallowing the poison. John's entire body freezes. He can barely choke out an outraged, "What?!"
John pulls away and stands angrily. He casts off his jacket and flings it across the room. "You did what? How could you?" His rage is so overpowering that John can not even speak further. His face is red and sweat covers his upper lip.
Harold is aware he needs to tread carefully. Yet, the idea that Reese wasn't this angry when his own life was in jeopardy flits pass Harold's amorous, possessive, and selfish brain. Nevermind, Harold needs to diffuse the situation. "I have told you in the past, if killing innocent people for what they might do is a component of this endeavor then I want no part of it."
"Not doing the job is one thing, but killing yourself is quite another!" John sputters.
Harold looks at his lover, "Not to me. I would rather die than allow a murder."
"There are other ways to stop Root."
Harold disagrees. "There was no time and she is my responsibility. In essence, I made her who she is today. Without The Machine..."
John interrupts harshly, "Bullshit!"
John sits down and grabs a firm hold of Harold's hands. "Root was messed up a long time ago. She would have been star struck by you even if you never built The Machine."
John sits back and wipes his face with his palms. "Her continued existence and reluctance to kill is because of you and your creation. How many more people would be dead if not for you?"
Harold is about to answer when John sits up and hauls Harold carefully, gently into his lap. "Nevermind." John kisses Harold's down turned mouth. "I don't want to fight. I know you don't see any difference between me getting into a firefight for a stranger and you...being you."
Harold slings his arms around John's neck and returns the kiss. "Correct. There is no difference. You are also correct that we shouldn't fight, not when we have so little time together."
Notes:
Title is a play on words with the episode title