Already Gone

Pairing: Edward/Jasper, Jasper/Peter, Edward/OMC's

Summary: Jasper's been cheating on Edward for as long as he could remember.

Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me.

Warning: There is rape in this one shot, please don't read it if it will upset you.

Edward was now completely and utterly drunk. And he didn't give a flying fuck.

He wanted to forget, that was entire reason he came here and got drunk off his ass. He just wanted to forget, for a little while, what his beautiful, unfaithful boyfriend was doing right at that moment. He shuddered just thinking about it, and took a huge gulp of his vodka. Edward gasped in delight as it burned his throat. The pain helped him take his mind off things.

~*l*~

Edward saw the hickey on Jasper's neck.

He saw the finger shaped bruises on his hips and thighs.

He saw Jasper's flushed face and puffed up rosy lips.

So he refused to sleep with Jasper. He refused to enter a place where another man had been mere hours ago. He refused to let Jasper touch him while he still smelt of sex with another man.

Jasper hadn't even cared. He was too tired from his earlier sexual activities withhim.

There was nothing left of Edward's heart to break. It had been shattered and bruised and broken repeatedly by Jasper's own hand far too many times.

Edward wondered if Jasper would finally see how much better he was for him if he died.

~*l*~

Rough, hard hands grabbed at Edward and pushed him violently against a brick wall. Edward groaned. He was too drunk to understand what was happening, but he was becoming more sober with each push and shove the strangers gave him.

Large manly hands roamed his body, sliding up underneath his shirt and scratching at his hips and exploring the hard planes of his abs.

It was quiet here, much quieter than in the club, and the air was cooler, so Edward was able to clear his head pretty quickly. He was now sober enough to understand that he didn't know who these men were, and he didn't like the feeling of them pawing at him like they were going to …

Edward stopped breathing.

~*l*~

Jasper sat up immediately. His gut was twisting and turning uncomfortably, and he felt the faintest echoes of pain all over his body. That may have been for the hot and sweaty sex he has just had with Peter, but he knows immediately it has something to do with Edward. He gasped as he saw an image of Edward being … fucked? By another man?

Jasper gasped again, out of pure rage and fury this time. How could Edward cheat on him? After all these years Jasper has stayed by his side, how could he cheat on Jasper?

The hypocrisy of Jasper's words didn't even occur to him, as he felt a pair of hands roughly spreading his legs apart. He smirked, all thought or worries of Edward gone from his mind.

~*l*~

All Edward could feel was pain. Pain, pain and more pain. He could feel more than one pair of hands holding him down, and another man thrusting into him violently, painfully, ripping Edward in half.

He was being raped.

And nobody was there to help him.

Edward had had enough. He'd given up. He loved Jasper with everything he had, but it's getting him no where. It's best if he just let the men kill him. So Edward fights back. He pushes and shoves, tries to punch them in his drunken state, but the men are still too strong, and overpower him. They punch and kick him, shattering his ribs, making him choke on his own blood and stab him again and again and again.

And they rape him. Again and again and again.

Edward smiles. He can feel his body becoming heavy, his consciousness leaving him, the blackness taking over. As the man pounds into him, scraping his face against the ground, Edward thinks about how happy Jasper will be to hear that his boyfriend is finally out of the way. He can just imagine Jasper's emotionless face when they tell him his boyfriend was raped, beaten, stabbed and then fucked to death.

The last thing Edward thinks about is whether Jasper will even bother coming to his funeral.

~*l*~

When Jasper wakes up, the first thing he hears is Peter talking on the phone to somebody. Jasper knows it's not good by the way he can hear him pacing across the floor, and the distressed sighs leaving his lovers lips.

"OK, fine," he heard Peter sigh. "Yeah, I'll tell him. I don't know how he's going to cope with this." And then Jasper heard the phone being placed gently back in its cradle.

"Peter?" Jasper calls curiously. "What was that about?" Jasper heard silence, then a faint "shit!"

"Jasper." Peter said as he walked slowly in the room. "Jasper I am so, so sorry, but … something's happened. To – to Edward." Peter knew that Edward was Jasper's 'boyfriend', and although Jasper seemed to hate the poor boy Peter wondered how Jasper would take the news of his death.

Jasper sat up, unconcerned.

"Damn it, what's the bastard gone and done now?" Jasper laughed cruelly. "Has he gone and let himself get fucked by a guy?"

"Jasper," Peter whispered, shaking his head in disgust. "Do you even fucking know what happened to your goddamned friend?" Peter's voice had turned shrill towards the end. What he had been told on the phone was the most gruesome thing he had ever heard. Hell, if that was his friend, he would've been out the door hunting down the bastards that took him away.

"No, not really," Jasper replied. "And I don't really care." Jasper flopped back down on the bed, looking at his nails with a bored expression on his face.

"He's dead."

Jasper turned to look at him with wide eyes.

"W-what?"

"Edward. He's dead." Then he adds, as if it's an afterthought: "He was raped."

He see's Jasper freeze and his breathing turning into gasps. He see's Jasper shake his head, whilst tears run down his face. He see's Jasper's eyes glaze over, as though he's going over an image in his head, and has only just now realised what was happening.

"No!" Jasper cries. "Don't even joke about something like that! It's not funny!"

"I'm not laughing," Peter says seriously. Jasper shakes his head adamantly.

"I d-don't believe y-you," he hiccups, rubbing his tears away. Peter leans forward.

"If you don't believe me, then you need to see this, Jasper. I'm sorry, I really didn't want you to see this, but you need to know."

Peter picked up the remote and tuned the TV on, impatiently trying to find the channel he was looking for. He sat back with a grimace when he found it. There was a large picture of Edward back when he was still alive, and his smile still real. He turned the volume up and went to sit next to Jasper on the bed. His heart broke when he saw Jasper: he had the most heart breaking expression on his face, and he was wringing his hands together. But there was an emotion on his face that Peter didn't understand: guilt. How could Jasper possibly feel guilty for the violent death his boyfriend had? Jasper could have done nothing to stop it, he didn't know. He saw Jasper listening to the news reporter intently and decided to do the same.

"… doctor of Seattle hospital was reported to have been raped by over four men, stabbed multiple times in the stomach and thighs, kicked until he began to cough up blood and then left alone to die-"

Peter couldn't listen anymore. And apparently neither could Jasper. His jaw had long since dropped open, and tears were running in endless streams down his face.

"No," Jasper whispered. "He can't be gone. My Edward can't be gone. I haven't seen him in over two weeks. He wouldn't have gone without saying goodbye to me." Jasper seemed to break down at the pity in Peter's eyes. "No!" Jasper screamed. "I haven't touched him or spoken to him or even seen him in over two fucking weeks! He can't be dead! Not like this! Those bastards …" Jasper curled into a ball, sobbing hysterically, obviously thinking about Edward's painful death, and the monsters that tortured him for no reason. "No," Jasper moaned. "No, he's my b-boyfriend! … I – I love him!" Jasper cried suddenly. "I can't … he was in so much pain Peter. He died alone! I should have been there with him!" Jasper took a deep shaky breath and whispered: "I love him. So fucking much. And I never even told him. He thought – he always thought I hated him, but it's not true! I don't … he … I can't believe I ever let him think that for even a second!" Peter sighed.

"It's a bit late to be realising this now, don't you think?" He didn't mean to sound like an ass, but it was true. Jasper was only just now realising how much his boyfriend meant to him, because Edward was never coming back.

Jasper froze.

"Jasper?" Peter asked worriedly. "Jasper, what's wrong baby?" Jasper looked up at the man he had been cheating on Edward with for as long as he could remember, and Peter swallowed at the look on his lover's face. "Jasper?"

"I …" Jasper said dazedly. He gazed at Peter as if only seeing him properly for the first time. "Why am I here?" Peter was now utterly confused.

"What do you mean why are you here? You're my boyfriend Jasper. You've been practically living with me for 5 years." Peter was starting to get nervous. He didn't understand why Jasper brought his hand up to his mouth to stifle his sobs when he said: "5 years". Jasper stood up immediately, looking as though he were going to puke.

"Oh my God …" Jasper stumbled around the room to gather his clothes, which he yanked on. "For five fucking years I've ignored my entire world for you?"

Peter was gaping at Jasper now, mouth wide open. He was completely and utterly speechless. He had been prepared for Jasper to break down and sob when he heard of his friend's death … but this? Peter was not expecting this. But Jasper carried on.

"I love Edward, Peter. I love him!" Jasper was yanking on his hair in despair.

"Well, of course," Peter said, confused. "He's your ... friend." He gulped when Jasper sent him a withering glance.

"No, Peter," Jasper said quietly, his hair hiding his eyes. "I love him." And then he turned around and left the apartment.

It was only when the door slammed, that Peter realised Jasper had never said those three little words to him.

~*l*~

"No," Jasper sobbed. "No, no, no, no, no!"

Jasper still couldn't believe it. He had been to the hospital, and seen Edward's … body, but he still refused to believe the violent death his boyfriend had. He should have known Edward would never cheat on him. Not like Jasper. He felt like he didn't even deserve to call Edward his boyfriend any more after all that he had done to him.

Jasper's sobs turned hysterical. He couldn't even begin to believe he'd wasted five years with Peter instead of being with Edward! He had never stopped loving Edward once, he knew that, but somewhere along the way … he forgot. He forgot about Edward. How beautiful his boyfriend was. How he always put Jasper's needs before his own. And most of all, he forgot how much he loved him.

And now it was too late. His soulmate was gone forever.

And he would never forgive himself.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Jasper whispered brokenly. "I'm so sorry! I – I'm so sorry for ignoring you when you asked me for help!" The image of Edward being raped was forever ingrained into his mind, and Jasper knew it was their connection trying to tell him Edward needed his help.

And Jasper hated to admit it, but Peter was right.

He had realised too late, how much he loved Edward.

But Jasper still didn't understand. What had caused him to ignore his beloved for these last five years? And for Peter of all people? Jasper resisted the urge to vomit, when he remembered last night, when he and Peter had …

Jasper couldn't even finish off the thought, it was so repulsive to him.

All those years he had been with Edward, had been the most beautiful moments of his life. All those moments, when Edward would just hold him to let Jasper know he loved him, always made Jasper the happiest.

Edward made him feel loved.

Peter made him feel wanted. He made him feel different.

Jasper stared up at the stars, not bothering to wipe away the tears that flowed down.

He had finally remembered why he had wasted five years with Peter instead of with Edward.

He loved Edward, with everything he had, but he got bored. He wanted something new. Something exciting. Edward was too gentle and loving for him. And then Peter came along, and swept him away from Edward with whispered promises of sex, sex, sex. And Peter was not gentle at all. And Jasper loved it, leaving Edward to suffer on his own.

His Edward had been suffering on his own for over five years. Jasper couldn't process that thought. He had always swore to himself he would never let his boyfriend get hurt, that he would always protect him. He just couldn't handle seeing Edward in pain.

And he was the one that had caused Edward the most pain.

He had broken his heart.

He had forgotten him.

He had ignored his boyfriend's plea for help.

He had cheated on him.

And now Edward was dead.

With a strangled cry, Jasper curled up on the soft ground under the stars, and cried for all the pain he had caused Edward, and all that he had lost.

You never realise what you have until you lose it. Especially when you know you'll never get it back.