A/N: Hello and welcome to In Her Dreams! This was the first story I ever wrote, like EVER last year. It's done the Twilighted and now I've decided to publish it here. It is in no way perfect – it's clumsy, brief and has a few mistakes, but I love it none the less. I miss writing this story and just hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it all those months ago!
His ice cold fingertips danced across my belly. I giggled, the noise sounding girlish. As usual, my heart stopped and started and I saw him smile my favourite crooked smile.
"You're just like a school girl in love," he purred, his smile stretching wider.
"I am a school girl in love!" I replied, rolling onto my side to grasp his cool hand.
We were in our meadow, the faint sun shining down on the clearing. I watched, mesmerised, as his skin sparkled like a thousand crushed diamonds showering the surrounding grass and wildflowers with a breath-taking spectrum. I traced around p his palm and up his forearm, wondering if I would ever get tired of the feel of his marble skin. It seemed unlikely.
A shimmering on my own hand caught my attention. I stopped a second to admire the simple engagement ring on my left hand. From the moment I had put it on it felt like it belonged there. I'll never forget the night he proposed.
It had been warm all day and so unlike the Forks I was used to. We had spent all afternoon at his piano, his hands continuously flowing over the keys for hours on end. I could have listened to him play for the rest of my life.
At nine o'clock precisely he had played the opening bars to my lullaby. Each time it reduced me to tears. I let my mind wonder through the familiar melody, lingering on each note; savouring it. He stopped, suddenly, at the third phrase, shunting me back to reality.
"Bella," he began. "Do you ever think our minds tell us things we didn't think we knew?"
I blinked, still partially lost in the melody.
"I- I don't know," I stammered. I didn't understand. It was obviously Edward had been thinking, he always was, but when he voiced his thought aloud it was normally serious. He shook his head at my confusion.
"The other day, while I was sitting here, I saw my mother," he began. "Not Esme, my real mother – the one I can barely remember. But, suddenly, my memory of her was perfect. I could see her nose, her light brown hair, her green eyes – I could even hear her voice. I tried to speak to her but I couldn't."
His smooth brow creased half-way between determination and confusion. His topaz eyes no longer looked into mine but past them. He was lost once more to his mother's face.
"She laughed and I heard her as though she were really there. It sounded so familiar – I've never felt as strong a love as I did when I heard her voice… Then, her face began to change. I thought I was about to lose her again. Her hair grew dark. Her green eyes gave way to deep, chocolate brown ones. Soon it was you I was looked at. It has been you along. The love I had felt – it was for you, but…"
I was feeling unnerved. He has never opened up like this before. What was wrong with him? Panic rose in my stomach as I thought for one terrible second that he was leaving me. A dim memory tugged at my brain, but I shoved it away, dread washing through my head like a wave.
"No," I managed to breath, the word somehow making its way out through my scattered mind. His eyes flashed with disbelief and annoyance.
"Bella, please, let me ask the question before you reject me." His lips pressed together in a hard line and his jaw set.
My mouth opened and closed once more, unable to think straight. What did he mean? Was my little bit of paradise about to slip away from me? He took my hesitation as a cue to begin again.
"It doesn't matter anyway…" he sighed and turned back to the piano. His slim fingers slid over a few notes, the pure sound filling the otherwise silent room.
I racked my brain for clarification and drew a blank.
"Edward, explain," was all I could manage.
He begrudgingly pulled his gaze away from the keys to look at me, almost shy.
"I just needed to let you know that I wanted you to be mine forever. But, if you're not ready for marriage…" he trailed off.
"What?" I spluttered.
He turned towards me sharply.
"What did you think I was talking about?" he raised an eyebrow his face composed once more.
"I thought… I thought you were going to leave me," I choked, ashamed at myself for misjudging him.
Blood rushed to my cheeks and I felt myself blush. He took a quick, struggled breath but place his cool hand on my burning cheek regardless.
"Bella," he said. "I would never do that. You are my life now." He forced me to look at him. A smile played on his lips.
"Bella," he repeated, his velvet voice melting me from inside. "Bella, will you marry me?"
He looked directly into my eyes, his beauty dazzling me. I nodded my head minutely, unable to control my body through shock. Edward really did want me. He chuckled.
"Good," he exclaimed jumping up. "Alice, you can come in now!" He shoved his hands in his pockets and spun round to face the door, smiling as Alice skipped in.
"How did you guess it was me?" A little smile played on her lips. She turned her attention to me. "Oh, Bella! There's so much to organise!"
She ran over to me and pulled me into a tight hug, her heat of her frozen body suddenly against mine making me gasp…
My eyes fluttered open, blinking against the bright early morning light. I sat upright and ran my hands through my tangled hair, trying to shake off the dream. After a moment I sighed and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.
My feet touched my crumpled blanket on the floor. It was still warm so it must have only just slid off my bed. I sat there for several moments, listening to the rain on my window, pushing away the last of my blissful dream. This had become my normality. It didn't hurt anymore. The hole in my chest no longer throbbed.
I padded across my room and picked up my bag of toiletries. I wasn't over him. Of course I wasn't. I was more in love with him than ever.
"Just fifteen more hours, Bella," I thought to myself.
I forced myself not to think of him during the day - that was always too painful - but at night I let my mind run free.
While I slept, my subconscience played out the life I never had. The life I could have had with Edward if he hadn't have left.
I turned the shower on and shrugged off my pajamas. I only bathed in cold water now, trying to recreate his cool embrace. It wasn't pleasant but it sufficed.
I dressed and trudged downstairs to get a bowl of cereal before school. My life was boring. Mundane. Everyday was the same - just struggling through until nighttime. That kept the pain at bay. That was all I asked.
"Morning, Bells," Charlie greeted me warmly as he walked into the kitchen.
I smiled in return - no need for him to see my daily struggle. I finished my breakfast and rinsed the bowl. I shrugged on my jacket and made my way out to my old, red truck.
The monotony of my life. A list of pointless actions all taking me one step closer to the night. For that, I was grateful enough.
I turned the keys in the ignition and my trusty Chevy choked into life. I checked my watch briefly.
"Only fourteen hours to go," I murmured reassuringly. I grimaced as I thought of the day stretching ahead of me and put the truck into drive.
The day passed easily enough. We had a test in Biology. I fell over in Badminton.
Charlie was still at work when I got back home. I put some chicken in to marinade and weighed out enough rice for two, then settled down at my desk with my work books.
Since he had left, I had become an A+ student, spending the tiresome afternoons studying, just to waste time.
Charlie came home just as I finished my calculus homework, so I went downstairs to greet him and put the dinner on. We ate in silence as usual then sat in front of the TV - as usual.
A quick phone call to Jake to see how he was and it was finally ten o'clock.
"Night, Dad!" I called, practically running up the stairs. I didn't hear his reply as I ran into my room and started pulling my clothes off. I slipped into my old pajamas and brushed my teeth in double-time. In less that two minutes, I was under the covers, ready for my night with Edward. I had perfected the timing.
This was the sorry life I led.
I never had any trouble falling asleep now. As soon as my head touched the pillow my thoughts ran rampant.
I smiled as a small, satisfied smile and nestled further into the covers. I could almost smell him as the dreams took hold once more...
A/N: Please hit 'review' and let me know what you think! Hope you liked it and I'll update tomorrow! J
Mel x