NOTES: I don't know quite where this came from -I blame bingeing on Atlantis episodes and McWeir fanfiction. This navel-gazing one-shot includes hints of McWeir and some Sheyla. My thanks for the positive response to my previous, if quickly decanonized, Atlantis fic; we'll see how long I can keep cranking these out. Please don't let the last line fool you. I planned this as a one-shot and haven't a clue how I'd add to it. Thanks, PurpleYin, for betaing this!
DISCLAIMER: Stargate: Atlantis and all things associated with it belong to other people.
SPOILERS: everything through Sanctuary
RATING: PG for language
THREE, TWO, ONE
It was typical for a planet with a Stargate. The valley that held the Gate was bordered by green trees and capped by a blue sky with white clouds. Part of a binary planet system, its methane-cloud-covered twin hung huge and golden on the distant horizon, which made it at least marginally more interesting than other destinations. Also, the ruins they'd be investigating were only a short walk. Nothing more annoying than trudging for miles through alien woods filled with God knows what kinds of bugs, beasts and allergens.
"Why, exactly, are we doing this instead of Corrigan?" gasped Doctor Rodney McKay as the slope they climbed grew steeper.
"Our esteemed anthropologist and his team are currently engaged in unraveling the mysteries of a more important planet's ruins," replied Major Sheppard.
"Oh, yeah."
Corrigan's site might result in the Gate address of a world with a ZPM, while they were scouting this one as a possible refuge, in case of emergency. Just because there was a lack of Wraith did not guarantee the site was safe.
When they reached the plateau that was home to the alien structure, they were met by a sprawling pile of dark stone that ran all the way back against the side of the mountain. Although reasonably tall, it was not a multistoried structure, its architectural elements reminding Rodney of a cross between ancient Greece and Machu Picchu.
"Nice view," commented Sheppard, not the least winded.
"Yes, it is," agreed Teyla.
"A defendable position," noted Lieutenant Ford.
"And a...defensible...building," wheezed Rodney. There were hints of a palisade ringing the place.
"Not that it did them much good." Sheppard nudged the remains of a broken pillar. "Looks like it was taken in some sort of conflict...a big one."
"You suspect the Wraith?" asked Teyla.
"It's difficult to tell, given the age of the ruins," said Rodney as he examined what was left of the building's facade, "but considering the non-Wraith technology we've come across so far, it a fairly safe guess."
"Makes you wonder what these people had that the Wraith would want to wipe them out," said Ford.
"It does, indeed." Sheppard examined his life signs detector. "No big creepy crawlies. Let's see what we can find out."
"The structure seems fairly stable, what's left of it anyway," observed Rodney, "Looks like it might go back into the mountain."
"Wouldn't be the first place to go underground to escape the Wraith," said Sheppard, clicking on the light attached to his P-90, "Let's go, people."
The interior was largely barren, as though the place had been looted long ago. There were no hints of furniture or other everyday items, nothing to indicate the purpose of the various rooms, only a few human skeletons, their clothes long since turned to dust. Despite numerous atriums, the design of the place didn't permit much light to reach most inner rooms. This allowed for little more than moss to take hold and created a decidedly creepy atmosphere. Rodney couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if it wasn't midday.
Prudently marking their path with a pencil, they wound their way through a maze-like series of featureless halls and rooms. Eventually, they came to a dead-end that seemed to be the border between the building and the mountain.
"So much for the underground theory," muttered Ford.
"Not necessarily." Rodney examined the wall with the large flashlight he carried in lieu of a P-90. "Why have a capstone without an opening?" Along the top of the wall, the carving of a capstone was just visible in the light's glow.
"Good question," agreed Sheppard. "Let's see if we can find out."
"Over here," called Teyla from one corner of the room. Rodney trotted over to find her picking moss off one section of the wall. Beneath it lay the first signs of writing they'd come across; the symbols bore no resemblance to Ancient.
"Does it look familiar?"
Teyla shook her head.
"Just try pushing something," suggested Sheppard from the opposite corner, apparently searching for similar markings there. "Isn't that usually how these things work?"
"Recall what happened in Indiana Jones when anyone pressed the wrong thing," quipped Rodney.
"Indiana Jones?" wondered Teyla.
"A fictional archeologist who regularly outsmarted death by not randomly trying to activate mechanisms in ancient ruins."
"You afraid of snakes, McKay?" laughed Ford.
"I'm not an archeologist," Rodney huffed, "I suggest we go back and let Corrigan's team figure this out."
"Where's your sense of adventure?" asked Sheppard, "Oh! What's this!"
First there was a grinding sound then a brief whoosh of motion followed by a deafening thud. Rodney stood slack-jawed, staring at the wall that had suddenly come between him and the rest of the room -the rest of the room that included the exit!
"Major Sheppard, Lieutenant Ford, are you all right!" Teyla shouted into her radio behind him.
Belatedly, Rodney turned around and asked, "Are you okay?"
"I am fine, Doctor McKay."
"Teyla? McKay?" Sheppard's voice crackled over the radio.
"We are well, Major Sheppard. And you and Lieutenant Ford?"
"We're okay."
With the lack of repentance in Sheppard's voice, shock finally wore off. "What did I tell you!" began Rodney.
"Look, I got you into this, I can get you out."
"This is not Ancient technology, Major," growled Rodney, "What, exactly, do you think you can do?"
"I could use some C4 and-"
"And possibly bring this whole place down on top of us! I'd rather you not!" Rodney barked back. Teyla gave him that subtle expression he thought of as her you're-not-helping look. She rarely commented on anyone's behavior, but who needed words when you could express volumes with a glance? He took a deep breath.
"Look," Rodney continued, "it's not as though anything can get at us, so until the air runs out, which shouldn't be any time soon, or some other architectural event occurs, I think we're relatively safe in here. The wisest course of action is to return to Atlantis and bring back someone who can take this door out safely. Tell Doctor Weir she needs to have Doctor Hernandez pick a team. She's the head of geology, and they have rock-cutting equipment. All they need to do is figure out a way to get it in here along with a power supply."
"Should I tell Hernandez this seems to be a slab of granite?"
Rodney was always a little startled by these windows into Sheppard's general knowledge, so he hesitated for a moment before responding. "I don't think it will matter as far as equipment is concerned, but mentioning it can't hurt."
"Roger that," replied the Major, "Sit tight; we'll be back as soon as we can."
"We'll be sure to bake you a cake."
After checking for signs of other possible trap triggers, Rodney sat with his back to a wall and made himself as comfortable as possible. Setting the flashlight upright, so the light would reflect more evenly, he pulled out a Power Bar and sighed. "What a perfect way to spend the afternoon -stuck in the dark in an ancient alien trap."
Teyla settled across from him. "Could it not be worse?"
"I suppose this room could be more claustrophobic and in a more imminent stage of collapse. Or it could be filling up with water or hide some nasty creature or deadly traps," agreed Rodney, "I'm just not very good at having nothing to do."
"Then let us play a game to pass the time," suggested Teyla. Her voice was always quietly positive, her words so practical, it often made Rodney torn between envy and annoyance.
"You have a chess set in your pack?"
"Do you mean the game you play with Doctor Zelenka?" Rodney was surprised she knew about his chess matches with his Czech colleague. "I am unfamiliar with the rules, and it is my understanding you have the only set in Atlantis. I do not know why you might think I carried such a game in my pack."
That Teyla seemed largely immune to his sarcasm also bothered Rodney, but less than he would have thought.
"Of course I don't," he admitted. Being peevish wouldn't pass the time any faster, he decided. "What game did you have in mind?"
At this, she smiled and unzipped a pouch in her pack, holding out a small cube he couldn't make out too well in the poor light. "Three, two, one," she announced. "It's a game my people play to pass the time while waiting in deer stands for prey. There are six sides-"
"Being a cube, that's a given."
"The six sides are divided into two groups of three," she continued, as though he hadn't interrupted her. "There are three white and three plain sides. There are also circles in three colors -blue, red and black."
"That's all very fascinating, but how do you make a game out of it?"
She gave him that look of hers, as though she were talking to a child. "It is simple. Plain sides are for stories. White sides are for discussions. Blue represents knowledge, or the mind; red for the heart; black is for events and history."
Rodney didn't get it. What might the strategy be? How did one win? "And..."
"If you were to roll a plain side, I would choose a story to tell you. If you were to roll a white side, then you would choose an appropriate topic you would like to discuss with me. It is one of the ways my people pass on our history and maintain close bonds within our community." She nodded, finished with her explanation. "Would you like to play?"
What else did he have to do? "Sure."
"You may go first."
He took the proffered die. "Thanks."
They had to turn the flashlight upside down to view the results of his roll. It was on a plain side with a blue dot, which was fine by Rodney. He wasn't quite sure of any knowledge she might have that he'd want to discuss with her; having her pick something would be easier.
Upon seeing the result of his roll, Teyla seemed to further straighten her innately upright posture and closed her eyes, as though preparing for meditation.
"Long ago, in the days before our people moved to Atlantis, in the era before the Wraith, Athosians lived in peace and prosperity. Our people were proud. After the Wraith devastated our world, there was much chaos. Athos needed the aid of others to survive, but in our pride, all our attempts failed. It was in this time of trials that a young woman named Thalla came forward, requesting to become an envoy for our people. Although she possessed neither aged respect nor mighty strength, she was very clever. On her first trip as envoy through the Stargate, she returned with healers and medicines to aid the sick.
"'We have asked for healers and medicines before but found none were to spare. How did you come to bring us healers and medicines?' asked the wisemen.
"'The head of these healers was a friend to my late father. When I shared with him our plight, he chose to come, regardless of the will of the rulers of his land. He is no stranger; he wanted to help.' she said.
"The wise men sent her again. This time she returned with nomads thought to be primitives.
"'Why do you bring us these backward people?' asked the wisemen.
"'Our food stores are spent; our people are hungry. Our once vast crops and livestock are ruined, and the sedentary ways of that life make us easy prey for the Wraith. These men can teach us to become hunters once again, if only we are willing to learn from them.' said Thalla.
"'This is wisely considered,' agreed the wisemen, 'But how did you convince them to share their knowledge and skills?'
"'Do not all those who have knowledge wish to share it?' she asked them. 'I asked humbly and offered ignitors in trade for their efforts. They found this fair. But will you see to it their knowledge is not wasted?'
"'It will be done,' said the wisemen, and it was done.
"Thalla was sent to a third world. This time she returned with tools and stores of goods the likes of which the people of Athos had thought they might never see again.
"The wisemen asked, 'This world you have returned from has always spurned Athos and its customs. How is it you could trade with them?'
"'On their world, I did not follow the customs of Athos but the customs of their people. This expression of my respect for them granted me the trade.'
"And so, Athos was united under the leadership of Thalla. Friendship, humility, fairness and respect- through the principals of her guidance, Athos prospered in its trade with other worlds, and so it is to this day."
At the end of her recital, which was the best term for it in Rodney's opinion, Teyla opened her eyes, nodded and rolled the die. This time it came up plain and black.
Rodney decided to give a brief history of Canada. Speaking of it made him a bit homesick for hockey and maple syrup -Atlantis' supply of maple syrup had already run out, and he hadn't seen snow since Antarctica!
Teyla expressed surprise that a land with such harsh winters could maintain any sort of prosperous society. Having one world with so many people and languages had always intrigued her. That a single country within that world used two languages was perceived as a marvel, causing Rodney to idly wonder what she'd think of India. Based on his sketch of the western hemisphere, her observation that Canada was "above" the United States brought a pleased grin to his lips.
Rodney rolled the die again -plain and red.
Great! Just what he wanted to hear. A story of someone else's great love would be sure to make him feel so good about his own love life...or lack thereof.
But much to Rodney's relief, Teyla did not tell a tale of romantic love. Instead, her story was of a legendary leader named Jex and his loyal advisor Athan. With great skill, trust and devotion, they survived many adventures. In the end, the advisor tragically sacrificed himself to the Wraith as a distraction so his leader could escape with their people. Rodney had to confess, it was an engaging fable.
Teyla rolled again and got white and blue. He smiled -this was more is cup of tea!
"What is a hypoglycemic reaction?"
Rodney's jaw dropped. This wasn't even remotely close to anything he'd anticipated.
When he didn't immediately respond, Teyla explained, "I asked Doctor Beckett about it, but when I told him where I had heard of it, he said it was a private matter I should bring up with you. I have not had a convenient opportunity to do so until now."
Well, maybe if Carson had told her, Rodney wouldn't be stuck having to do it himself. Perhaps he could get out of it... "Damn right it's private!" Rodney sputtered.
Her gaze was unabashed, "Then why did you mention it so openly?"
"I..." She had a point, and it wasn't as though it'd been the first time he'd mentioned it publicly. Of course, that she had a point only made him less inclined to accommodate her. "We were probably going to die in half an hour; given the circumstances, personal privacy was not a top priority."
"But do we not face possible death regularly?"
"Too often for my liking."
"Yet you have not left the team." She waved her hand, dismissing the tangent. "I now understand it is something you are uncomfortable discussing-"
"Yes. Can't you pick something else?" He really didn't feel like talking about personal foibles when he'd been putting so much effort into proving himself reliable to his martially skilled teammates.
"No," she said remorselessly. "It is a part of the game, and you are my teammate. If you have a condition that puts your own life and the lives of others at risk, I would learn of it so I shall be better prepared for any situation. Right now, all I know is that if you do not eat at certain times, it affects you negatively. I do not know when those times are, what you should eat nor what might be the outcome of inaction." Smiling, she added, "If it helps, do not think of it as a personal matter, think of it as a practical and academic one. Your peoples' knowledge of medicine is beyond that of my people; I would learn more, if I may."
"Fine. A hypoglycemic reaction occurs when your blood sugar gets too low. The solution is to eat something, preferably something sweet. It can be caused by not eating regularly and/or more exercise than normal. Symptoms come in two groups. The first includes sweating, dizziness, anxiety, shaking. The more serious symptoms include confusion, impatience, irritability, passing out and even coma and death."
He said it in a frustrated rush, getting a shocked expression from Teyla for his efforts.
When she was able to close her gaping mouth, she asked, "Is this why you are always so concerned about food?"
"How very insightful of you," Rodney growled.
"I know you possess a unique courage, but to do what you do with such a condition..."
"Vanity and insanity are closer to it. I'm not brave."
Teyla frowned. "How can you say that?"
"Because it's the truth."
She shook her head, "I do not understand how you can see yourself in such a poor light. Regardless, I shall be sure to carry something to eat with me at all times, in case we find ourselves in a situation similar to the one we are in now."
"You don't have to. I'm pretty self-aware where this is concerned, and after getting stuck in the Jumper, I always have something with me when we go offworld."
Teyla nodded and reached out to rest her hand on his arm. "Thank you for sharing this with me," she said in her most formal and sincere tones.
"Yes, well," he muttered awkwardly, "are we done now?"
Teyla leaned back. "Yes. It is your turn."
Rodney rolled; it was plain and black again.
This time, Teyla told the story an ancient war between two worlds that ended up destroying each other, and how the Athosians narrowly escaped being caught in the middle. The moral was to choose your friends wisely and avoid making enemies. A bit of incredulity at fighting each other when there are the Wraith as a common enemy was thrown in for good measure.
Teyla's next die roll was white and red. Why was he playing this?
Without hesitation, Teyla asked, "Why do you behave as you do with Major Sheppard?"
No embarrassing questions about past loves or why a man who thought so highly of himself was still single at his age! Rodney heaved a sigh of relief. Perhaps she was making up for her previous topic?
"I wasn't aware I treated him differently from anyone else. Could you be more specific?"
This time it was Teyla's turn to be uncomfortable, something Rodney had never seen, even in the face of imminent death. Why would such an innocuous question cause the ever-placid Teyla to squirm?
Looking away, after a moment's thought, she said, "It seems to me that you are...more competitive with Major Sheppard than with others."
"I'm not a soldier; he's not a scientist. I don't see how I could be."
"And yet that is the case."
"Perhaps you're imagining things?"
"No. I have discussed the matter with Lieutenant Ford and Doctor Beckett-"
"You did?"
"Yes. Lieutenant Ford had...what did he say? 'Not put his finger on it.' Doctor Beckett agreed it was the case, but when I asked him what your motivation might be, he said it was not his place to say."
"Wait a minute. Both Ford and Carson think I'm more competitive with Sheppard, and Carson thinks he knows why? It's not like he's a shrink!"
"Shrink?" Teyla tilted her head and blinked as another English slang term flew over her head. "I did not mean to make you upset with Doctor Beckett. I am merely trying to gain insight into who you are, Doctor McKay."
"Can you give me some examples?"
She nodded in consideration. "You insisted on being the first to try the procedure to make yourself like the Ancients."
"Yes?"
"My understanding is that the connection Major Sheppard has to the Ancients allows him to access technology others can not, such as the Jumper and the Transporters, and since technology is your field..."
"I'd feel threatened?" Rodney laughed, unwilling to confess to the envy he'd felt before the treatment. "While, yes, having the ATA gene makes working with Ancient technology much easier, there are over a dozen other people on the base who have it. Even Halling's boy..." Rodney snapped his fingers at the elusive name.
"Jinto," offered Teyla.
"Jinto," he nodded. "Even he has it. If I'm competitive about having the Ancient gene, then it would mean Major Sheppard's just one of a fairly large club."
"You also practice very diligently on your piloting skills."
"It's only sensible to have more than one person on the team who can fly a Jumper," reasoned Rodney. "Frankly, I'd prefer it if you and Ford could pilot one yourselves."
"As do we. But it seems as though you seek to match Major Sheppard's skills."
"Don't be ridiculous," Rodney scoffed. "The man's been a professional pilot for years. I just want to be sure if our lives ever depend on my piloting skills that I'm up to the challenge."
"All right. You also tend argue with him-"
"I argue with everyone when I think they're wrong."
"Yes," smiled Teyla, "but you argue with him most often when we are planning a mission or course of action or when we are debriefing."
"That only makes sense, considering it's the time when..." Rodney gestured vaguely, "the most ideas are on the table."
"But it seems as though you seek authority approval over Major Sheppard. Recall how you secretly arranged with Doctor Weir to try to determine the true identity of Chaya."
"I was right, wasn't I?"
"My point is that Doctor Weir and Major Sheppard are the ranking civilian and military leaders. You are under both of their authorities. It seems you always seek the approval of Doctor Weir-"
"I seek Major Sheppard's disapproval?"
"I can not imagine you doing to Doctor Weir what you did to Major Sheppard."
"Of course not! Elizabeth could never think with her-" Rodney cut himself off. "Let's just say Major Sheppard's judgment was impaired."
"When they disagree, I can not imagine you ever siding against Doctor Weir."
"Wait," Rodney held up his hand in protest, "I thought this was supposed to be about how I act toward Major Sheppard, not Doctor Weir."
In the time it took for Teyla to not respond, Rodney did the conversational math, though he had never been overly familiar with its formulas. "Are you suggesting..."
"There is no one in Atlantis you associate with better than Doctor Weir and Doctor Beckett. Major Sheppard is never in a position to come between you and Doctor Beckett, yet such is not the case where you and Doctor Weir are concerned."
"I..." He hadn't thought of it that way before. "Do you actually think...?" What if she was right? Was he trying to be a Teacher's Pet?
"Did you not step between Doctor Weir and the gun of Kolya?"
Suddenly Teyla's choice of the tale of Jex and Athan seemed intentional. The parallels forcibly reminded Rodney of the words he'd almost said to Elizabeth when their lives depended on his repairing the grounding station, words he'd pushed back into his subconscious once the terror was over, words Elizabeth had never asked to hear. "Well, what about you?" he snarled reflexively.
Teyla blinked. When she didn't respond, he pressed further, "Why do you behave as you do with Major Sheppard?"
"How is my behavior toward him different?"
"When our team was being regularly attacked and Bates thought you were betraying us to the Wraith, the only ones whose opinions you seemed to care about were Doctor Weir's and the Major's."
"Is that not understandable? She is the leader of Atlantis, he the leader of our team."
"But the only one you seemed to want to prove yourself to was Sheppard. You practically got yourself killed taking on that Wraith by yourself. I trusted you; so did Ford. That didn't seem to matter to you-"
"Of course it mattered to me," she corrected.
"It didn't seem to matter as much as his opinion. You never came to me or Ford with your problems."
A corner of Teyla's mouth quirked up in a half-smile. "You are not the most approachable person."
"That's not the point!" Rodney drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Look, that's not the only time you've done things like that. Carson told me how you didn't want to leave Sheppard when you were retaking Atlantis from the Genii."
"Did he? Doctor Beckett is a rather talkative fellow."
"You've only figured this out recently?" laughed McKay. "Also, recall when we thought we'd gated to Earth, how it was Sheppard you stuck with-"
"He invited me."
"And who were you with when the outbreak occurred?"
"I have offered to train you, as well."
"Again, not the point. You're almost always with him; it's like you're his shadow."
"I am the only Athosian on Atlantis. It is not as though your people have put great effort into including me. With whom should I spend my time?"
The uncharacteristically strained tone in her voice derailed Rodney's train of thought. "I just..."
"You imply my feelings for Major Sheppard are more than friendship? I shall not deny he is an attractive man with the qualities I would seek in a partner. But what of it? From the start, your people have sought a means to return to your own world. It is likely only a matter of time before you succeed, and the possibility of your returning to Earth and never coming back is very real. I am a leader of my people; I can not abandon them to follow my heart to another galaxy."
Rodney could think of nothing to say in the wake of her potent words, his mouth hanging open in awe of her confession. He'd only wanted to push back, away from thoughts he didn't want to explore; he'd never considered it would reveal something so complicated and painful. It was as though he'd been handed some cumbersome, delicate, valuable thing without a clue how to handle it.
"I...I'm...not good at these sorts of conversations," he finally managed. "I haven't had a lot of practice. All this time, I thought you and he... I didn't realize..."
She took a deep breath, returning to her normal calm.
"It is all right," she smiled sadly. "Even with all the knowledge of the Ancients, it is not a problem you or anyone can solve."
She reached for the die and returned it to its pocket.
"I guess we've learned enough from each other for one day, huh?" Rodney chuckled uncomfortably.
"Yes."
Rodney looked at his watch. It had been nearly two hours. How long did it take them to haul the rock-cutter through the Gate? His stomach growled; it gave him an idea.
"Actually, there's something I've been meaning to look into that maybe you could help me with, no roll of the die required."
She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Since I'm guessing we're going to be eating more and more of it as time goes on, I'd like to learn about Athosian cooking. See, I have this allergy to lemons..."
"Yes, of course," smiled Teyla.
They spent the remainder of their time talking about food, one of Rodney's favorite nonscientific subjects. Teyla had traveled to many worlds, and in embracing their cultures, she knew much of their food. The conversation seemed to lift Teyla's spirits, and he actually felt better for it.
At last, they were rescued, though not by Hernandez' team and their rock-cutter. Apparently Elizabeth decided it was easier to call Corrigan back for a few hours than figure out how to move the rock-cutter out of its lab, into a Jumper and through the ruins. Not only did the anthropologist succeed in retracting the wall that had trapped them, while he was at it, he opened the passageway under the mountain, though they found nothing particularly useful there. Still, it hadn't been a complete waste of time. Corrigan agreed it might make for a reasonable alpha site, and Rodney had learned more than he thought possible from his Athosian teammate.
Maybe it was more than he wanted to handle, but it gave Rodney something to think about. He'd always had respect for Teyla, but somehow, his glimpse into her heart didn't make her weak in his eyes. If anything, it made her seem stronger. Would the same ever be the case for him? Thinking back on his attempt at a personal discussion with, then, Major Carter, Rodney supposed not, but there was no telling what the future might bring...