Title: Asking For a Friend
Author: SneetchesToo
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Ethan/Leanne
Summary: Ethan didn't understand Leanne's anger toward him, until it all sort of fell into place.
Author's Note: This is loosely based off of the song "Asking For a Friend" by Devin Dawson. And when I say loosely, I mean that lyrics just sort of serve as a jumping off song hit me right in the feels and the first time I heard it I got major Willish feels. Now, this story didn't quite turn out like I wanted it too, but I'm pleased with it nonetheless. The song serves as more of a jumping off point than anything else and it doesn't have much to do with the basic plot of the story. I hope you guys enjoy either way!
—
Ethan wasn't one to frequent bars. In fact, he wasn't one for going out much to begin with.
Not lately anyway.
Not since he and Leanne had fought.
Not since she had told him to get out and to never come back.
But that had been five weeks ago, and Rox had had enough of his pouting and Mario had had enough of his yelling and Noa kept telling him it was time to move on and Angus was tired of watching him walk on egg shells.
So here he was. Sitting in a bar on a Friday night, a half drunk beer on the table in front of him, a barely touched plate of onion rings next to him.
Rox was rambling on about some baseball game on the TV behind him. Mario and Noa were making heart eyes at each other as they attempted to control themselves. Angus was flirting mercilessly with some doctor from the pediatric department.
But Ethan, he just sat there. His eyes were focused on some far off place across the bar. His breathing was even at best.
He didn't want to be here. No, he'd rather be at home drowning his sorrows in a bottle of Jack.
Actually, he'd rather be with Ariel, but Leanne had kept her from him once again.
Something about too much homework and a bunch of stuff that sounded like petty bullshit if you asked him.
He wasn't really sure what he had done to Leanne to make her throw him out. And he wasn't really sure why she was still so mad at him.
But he certainly hadn't done anything to the teen. And she hadn't done anything to him. So why they were being kept apart he didn't understand.
"Earth to Ethan…" Rox's sing-song voice brought him from his thoughts and he shook his head gently as he shifted his eyes to her. "You alright over there?"
"I'm fine." He really shouldn't be taking his anger out on Rox. She wasn't responsible for all this bullshit.
In fact, she had been a great friend through it all. She had offered up her couch when he mentioned that he had been staying with his dad. She had listened to him rant and vent and cry on more than one occasion over the past 30 days. She had been great.
He wondered if that was secretly part of Leanne's problem.
"You don't look fine dude." He swore that if Mario kept talking to him like he was one of his twenty-something counterparts he was going to lose his mind.
"Just tired." And he was in fact tired. He had worked an almost 30 hour shift before Rox had dragged him away from Center Stage and across the street to the local bar.
He was thankful when no one responded to his remark about being tired.
He knew they were all exhausted as well.
But he also knew that they all understood just why he was in such a funky mood.
He got ready to make a comment about leaving when he heard a chorus of happy greetings coming from the bar and he snapped his head up to see who was getting such a warm welcome.
His heart sank in his chest and his breath felt like it was leaving his body.
He never expected to see Leanne in here.
Not on a work night. Not when she claimed that she was staying home with Ariel. Not when she claimed that 'going out wasn't her thing.'
"Uh oh." He heard Noa's whispered voice from beside him and he swallowed.
He wanted to run away now, more than ever.
But he also wanted to stand his ground.
These people were his family too. There were his friends just as much as they were hers.
He had already felt unwelcome and pushed away at Angels by some people.
He wasn't going to let her take this from him too.
"Maybe we should go." Rox knew this was bad. Really bad.
"No." But part of him wanted her to see him here.
He wanted her to see how miserable he was. How hurt and broken he was at her absence.
They hadn't interacted much at Angels since the break-up. He always seemed to wind up with Mario and Noa by his side now instead of her and Jesse.
He supposed that was par for the course.
Jesse was her best-friend. It only made sense that he would avoid him at all costs.
"Are you sure?" Angus wasn't one for tension and he wasn't one for drama and Ethan could tell he was getting uncomfortable at the simple thought.
"It's fine guys." He was thankful that his friends had his back. But it's not like they were going to come to blows in the middle of a crowded bar.
They all shared a look that he guessed they thought he didn't see. He chose not to say anything, instead, he downed the rest of his beer in one fell swoop.
He figured the least he could do would be to get drunk.
That might make him feel better.
Maybe.
—
Hey I was just wondering if anyone was sitting here
And if not, would it be okay if someone bought you a beer?
He watched as Leanne made the rounds at the tables toward the front of the room.
He watched as she smiled and laughed with the other doctors and nurses from Angels.
He watched as she made small talk with a few people.
He watched as she faked her way through the whole thing. Her smile never reached her eyes. Her laugh never got deep and giggly.
She was just as broken as he was.
And he just wanted to make it all okay.
She had started to make her way toward the back of the room. Toward their table. Toward him. When Jesse pulled her aside and whispered something in her ear.
He guessed that maybe he was warning her that he was there.
That they were all there.
He figured that that was probably fair.
Instead, she turned and made her way toward a high-top table near the bar.
The waitress placed a glass in front of her before disappearing.
She was alone now, Jesse having wandered off.
He wanted desperately to go to her. To buy her a drink and flirt with her.
He wanted to apologize for whatever it was that he had done.
He wanted to beg her to take him back.
He wanted to take her hand and drag her out of the bar.
He wanted to back her against the brick wall in the alley and tangle his hands in her hair while he kissed her like it was going out of style.
He wanted to take her home and make love to her like he had so many times before.
He wanted to do so many things, but he just couldn't make his legs move.
—
Let's say that someone wanted to dance
Would he have any snowball in hell of a chance
To get you out on the floor before this slow song ends?
Oh hey, I'm just asking for a friend
An hour had gone by since Leanne had arrived at the bar.
An hour that he had spent staring at her from across the crowded space.
Rox had tried to break his attention a few times. She had promised him shots and a burger.
He had declined.
Mario had offered up a round of pool. Something he normally would have jumped at.
But again, he had declined.
A pretty young nurse from oncology had asked him to dance.
He had declined once again. Telling her that Angus was a much better dancer than he was anyway.
He didn't want to do shots with Rox. He didn't want to kick Mario's ass at pool. He didn't want to dance with some girl who looked young enough to be his daughter.
No. Rather, there was only one thing he wanted right now.
To pull Leanne onto the dance floor and hold her tightly in his arms.
It certainly wouldn't be the first time.
"Ethan!" Rox's aggravated tone startled him and he almost dropped his beer.
"What?" He really didn't know what she was yelling at him about.
Had he really been that distracted?
"You're staring." She whispered.
He could feel the other's eyes on him and he shot them all a dirty look.
"Was not." He snapped.
"Was too." Mario sounded more amused than anything else.
He was sure the young man found this hilarious.
"I'm gonna go get another beer." He rose from his seat for the first time in hours and he was shocked when he felt his knees stiffen up.
Getting old was for the birds.
"Are you sure you wanna go over there?" He really didn't understand what their concern was about.
He was a grown man. He could handle himself.
He had managed to maintain a friendly demeanor with everyone.
Including Leanne and Jesse.
It was them that seemed to have the issue.
"I think I can handle walking across the bar and getting a beer by myself." He turned back toward the table and shot Rox a look. "Or do I need someone to hold my hand?"
All four of his companions shot their hands up in the air. They muttered apologies before casting their eyes downward.
He hadn't meant to snap. But he was really tired of being treated like a damn child all the time.
He made his way toward the bar without a second thought.
He could feel their eyes on him.
In fact, he felt like every eye in the damn bar was on him.
But he didn't care.
—
He ain't ever been any good at laying it all out on the line
I swear down deep, believe me girl, he's a really good guy
He stopped when he got to the bar and that's when he noticed it.
Leanne had apparently had the same idea as him.
Because the next thing he knew, she was beside him.
He wondered if someone, somewhere was playing a sick joke on him.
"You first." He motioned toward the bartender as he let his eyes shift in her direction.
His heart started to race in his chest.
She was just as beautiful as ever and it was killing him.
"Oh sorry." Her voice was soft as she took a step back. "I didn't mean to cut in line."
"No worries." He whispered.
The bartender looked between them with woeful eyes.
He figured Richard probably understood better than anyone. He was sure the man had seen his fair share of awkwardness. Especially between these people.
"Another drink Leanne?" He watched as she shook her head softly.
"Thanks Richard." She wasn't making eye contact. Not with Richard. And certainly not with him.
He knew that she was feeling awkward and uncomfortable.
Part of him felt horrible.
Part of him felt kind of glad.
"Another one for you Ethan?" Richard had handed Leanne her glass at some point and had moved his attention to him.
But he had been too busy staring at her to notice.
"Uh?" He shifted his gaze back toward the man across from him. "Oh yeah. Thanks."
Leanne made the move to walk away, her drink in her hands, when he reached down and stopped her.
"Wait." He took his beer from Richard without a second thought and turned himself toward her for the first time in weeks. "Can we talk?"
"No." She shook her head and pulled her arm from his grasp.
He watched as she headed back toward her table.
He watched as Jesse shot him a warning glare.
He really wished he knew what he had done to screw everything up.
He just wanted her to give him another chance.
A chance to prove that he was in this for the long haul.
A chance to prove that he hadn't been keeping a diamond ring in his locker at work for nothing.
—
If you can find it in your heart just to cut him some slack
He'll be Johnny-on-the-spot here in two seconds flat
He had gone back to his table without another word.
He knew not to push his luck.
Especially not here. Not with all these all people around him. Not with all these eyes on them.
He didn't want to make a scene.
So instead he plopped back down in his chair with a huff.
Rox gave him a look that said 'I told you so' and he flipped her the bird.
She had thankfully just chuckled before squeezing his hand.
He really didn't have time for her smart mouth right now.
He tried his best to keep his attention away from Leanne.
He tried to focus on Rox and the baseball game she was yelling at.
He tried to focus on the conversation Mario and Angus were having about some video game they apparently both sucked at.
But he couldn't keep his eyes from going back to her.
Every. Single. Time.
He regretted that decision at around 7:45pm when a tall, dark, and handsome doctor from radiology made his way toward her table.
She laughed at whatever he said to her. Her smile almost reached her eyes.
He wondered if they were dating.
They seemed awfully comfortable with each other otherwise.
He felt his heart break in two.
He watched as Prince Charming lead her to the dance floor.
He watched as he spun her around in a slow, gentle, circle.
He felt like he was going to be sick.
"Oh yuck." He hadn't expected those words to leave Rox's mouth. Especially not when he realized that she was watching the same thing he was.
"What?" But he was curious.
"Dr. Tanner's an asshole." Noa whispered.
He hadn't even noticed the young girl return to her spot next to him at the table.
"Oh really?" This conversation was taking an uncomfortable turn.
"Leanne's crazy to dance with him." Rox seemed to know something that he didn't.
He found his attention hyper focused on the pair now.
He didn't understand why she was giving this asshole the time of day.
And yet, she wouldn't even look at him.
—
Yeah, he's holding his breath, come on give him a second with you
Oh hey
Yeah what do you say?
Dr. Tanner had escorted Leanne back to her seat and he watched as she laughed softly at him once again.
He wanted to deck this idiot in the fucking face.
But instead, he pushed himself from his chair and made his way back toward the bar.
He could feel four sets of eyes on him as he walked away.
But he didn't look back.
Once he had gotten his fresh drink he turned his attention toward Leanne's table.
He was thankful when he saw that Jesse was nowhere in sight.
She was alone. And that was exactly what he wanted.
Making his way toward her he slid into the seat beside her without a word.
He hoped that maybe if he was a little bit bolder than normal she'd give him a chance.
"What do you want Ethan?" He could tell that she wanted to be aggravated with him.
But her anger didn't reach her eyes. And it certainly didn't come through in her words.
"Just a few minutes of your time." He whispered.
He dared a glance in her direction once more and he could see something that almost looked like sadness.
"I think you're gonna need more than a few minutes." There was a sharpness to her tone that made him flinch.
He didn't know where he had screwed up, but apparently to her it was a big deal.
"I want to come home Lea." He didn't know what else to say and he felt his voice crack as he spoke those words.
He missed her. He missed Ariel. He missed everything about them.
"It's not that simple Ethan." She shifted her gaze toward him for the first time all night and he felt his heart stop in his chest.
There were tears in her eyes.
And for the first time she almost looked regretful about her decision.
But it had been her decision after all.
—
It's Friday night and you're beautiful, so beautiful
What man wouldn't think you were the love of his life?
He'd be a fool, he'd be a fool
Ethan had gotten ready to speak up when Dr. Asshole reappeared at Leanne's side.
He was drinking a cheap beer and he wore a tie.
He looked like a loser. A loser that Ethan wanted to punch in the face.
"Everything okay over here Leanne?" The fake concern in his voice told Ethan the only thing he needed to know about this man.
He wanted Leanne for one thing and one thing only.
Her body.
And he wasn't about to let that happen.
"Everything's fine." He snapped back.
The man's eyes shifted toward him as Leanne gave him a look.
He didn't care if he pissed this jerk off. He could take him.
"Everything's fine Mike." Her voice was soft and she gave Dr. Asshole a look that said everything.
She wanted to get rid of him just as much as he did.
"Well, come get me if you need me." And then he was gone.
And Ethan let out a breath of air.
"That was rude Ethan." He detected absolutely no hint of anger or frustration in her voice.
"He's rude." He felt like a child arguing over a toy.
"He was just checking up on me." She turned her body toward his and offered him a soft smile. "He worries."
"You know he has a reputation right?" He knew that Rox and Noa weren't making up their stories about him.
He had seen the way he talked to women at the hospital.
"He's a player." The smile she gave him made his heart swell. "Of that much I know."
"You're not planning on letting him play you, are you?" He raised an eyebrow as he spoke.
The last thing he wanted was to see her go home with this tool. Especially when it should be him she was going home with.
"No Ethan." She chuckled softly and he couldn't help but smile at the light returning to her eyes. She hadn't looked that happy in his presence in weeks. "I'm not going to let him 'play me'."
"Just making sure." He offered her a wink before leaning back in his chair.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head before turning away from him once more.
But that didn't stop his eyes from scanning over her face. From continuing to memorize the outline of her jaw and the curve of her neck.
He knew every inch of her body better than she probably knew it herself.
He had kissed every inch of her, his hands moving over her bare skin in a teasing fashion.
She was his and he was hers and he didn't understand why she was so hell bent on keeping them apart.
He loved her. With his whole heart and with everything that he was. He didn't want to lose her and he was determined to do whatever it took to get her back.
—
Just one drink would sure mean a lot to him
Yeah, I'm just asking for a friend
"I miss you." He whispered.
They had sat there in silence for a good ten minutes. Both of them nursing their drinks as their minds raced.
"I know." She whispered back.
If she knew, then why wasn't she doing anything about it?
"I don't know what I did Lea." He honestly had no clue what had gone wrong.
"Ethan please." She let out a sigh with her words and it made his skin crawl.
He didn't want to fight with her.
Not here.
But he wanted answers. He wanted to know what went wrong. He wanted to go home.
He got ready to speak up when Jesse appeared on the other side of the table and shot him a look that could likely kill.
"What's he doing here?" Jesse's words were harsh and he felt all the fight leave his body.
He didn't stand chance in hell of making progress with Leanne if Jesse were involved.
Not when the head nurse seemed to hate him. For whatever reason.
"We were just talking Jesse." Leanne's voice was soft, softer than he expected, and he chanced a look at her.
She was staring Jesse down. Something she normally reserved for Center Stage.
He wondered if maybe she was starting to get fed up with him taking this too far.
"Talking?" He shifted his gaze between them as his hands went to his hips.
"Talking." She nodded her head softly as her right hand fell to rest against his thigh under the table.
He knew that she was trying to keep him from losing his cool.
He just hoped that Jesse didn't notice her movements and freak out.
"Well it's about damn time." And then the Puerto Rican man was heading off in the opposite direction, a small smile on his face as he headed toward the table in the back from which Ethan had come.
"He confuses me on so many levels." He said softly.
He honestly thought the man was going to pummel him to the ground. Instead, he was giving him his blessing.
"He just wants what's best." She whispered.
He turned his body toward her and offered her a soft smile.
"So he realizes that this whole thing is ridiculous right?" He hoped that if Jesse was on his side, at least a little bit, that that would help make Leanne see the light.
"It's not ridiculous." Her voice was soft and she avoided his gaze.
But her hand was still on his thigh.
And there was still a small glint in her hazel eyes.
Maybe he was on to something.
—
Let's say this friend of mine went and messed up real bad
And he'd do anything in this world, girl, to get you back
"Just tell me what I did wrong Lea." He just wanted to know so that he could make things right again.
He didn't think that was too much to ask.
They had been together for almost two years. They had been through so much together. They had a kid together for Christ's sake.
He didn't understand how she could just throw this all away.
"You pushed Ethan." Her voice was barely audible but he heard her words nonetheless.
He didn't know what she meant by that though.
What had he pushed?
"I don't understand." He felt his mind starting to race as he tried to figure out what she meant.
"You pushed too far." She turned back toward him and her sad eyes met his. "I told you to stop and you wouldn't."
"So you kicked me out?" His mind finally locked onto the issue at hand.
He had suggested marriage. A baby. A family of their own.
He hadn't meant for it to be a fight.
But apparently she had other ideas.
"I was tired of you pushing me." She whispered. "I felt like I was under too much pressure. Like nothing I was doing was right. I just wanted it to stop."
"Lea…" He had certainly never meant for his suggestions to make her feel like that. Not in a million years.
"We were happy Ethan. Things were fine. Why do we need to change that?" He could see the tears forming in her eyes once more and he prayed that Dr. Asshole didn't decide to make another appearance.
"We don't." And he meant it. He had never meant that they had to do anything.
He loved her and she loved him and they both loved Ariel. And that was fine.
But the idea of making her his wife made his heart swell.
And the idea of having a baby with her made him all giddy inside.
But he had never meant that it was a deal breaker.
"It's too soon." She whispered.
"It's been two years." He whispered back.
He didn't think two years was too soon. Hell, he would have married her months ago if she would have let him.
"I'm not ready." He could see the distraught look in her eyes.
And it broke him in two.
"Will you ever be ready?" He didn't want to lose her. And he wasn't willing to let her go.
But she had to know that taking it to the next level was something he considered important.
It was something that he wanted.
It was something that Ariel wanted too.
He didn't know why she didn't want it just the same.
"I don't know." She turned away from him once more, downing the rest of her drink as she avoided his gaze.
He just wanted to run away and hide.
And maybe never come back.
—
Hey what kind of sorry would it take for a man to erase his worst mistake
And would this even begin to make a dent?
Oh hey
What do you say?
They sat in silence for what felt like hours. But when he checked his watch it had only been fifteen minutes.
He figured if she didn't have anything else to say to him he might as well get lost.
"I'm sorry." He whispered as he stood. "I love you. That will never change. And I'm sorry if me wanting more is too much for you."
And then he walked away from her.
He had barely made it back to his table before he felt his breath start to catch in his chest.
The look Rox gave him said she knew exactly what had just gone down.
He made a sharp turn away from his friends and headed for the back exit.
He wasn't used to leaving this way for any reason other than sneaking into the alley to make-out with Leanne.
That simple thought made his heart tighten.
As soon as he was outside he let his back hit the brick with a huff.
He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Hoping to shake away his tears.
"I take it that didn't go as planned." Rox's voice was soft and yet slightly conflicted.
He knew that she hated seeing him suffer like this.
She was his best-friend after all.
But she had always felt that he gave more than he received when it came to Leanne.
And that had always bothered her.
"Apparently she's content." He whispered.
"Content?" The confusion in her voice made perfect sense.
He was confused too.
"Yeah." He looked up, his eyes locking with hers as he let out a laugh. "She doesn't want to get married or have babies. Turns out she kicked me out because I do."
Rox's eyes went wide.
He had never told her about the discussion turned fight between him and Leanne.
He hadn't told anyone.
Not even his father. Not even Ariel.
He had just left it at a fight and she had kicked him out and now they weren't talking.
He had never given anyone any reason why.
Not that he fully understood her reasoning to begin with.
"So that's what this is all about?" He figured that this probably just reaffirmed Rox's belief that he was more invested than Leanne.
"I guess." He shrugged his shoulders.
He really didn't know what was going on anymore anyway.
"Well fuck." She shook her head as she leaned back against the wall beside him.
"Yep." He let out a sigh as he leaned his head backward. He took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself down.
"So what, did you propose or something?" He did a double take at her words.
"Not exactly." It was the truth. He hadn't gotten down on one knee or presented her with a ring.
"Well then what the hell is this all about?" Rox's question was harsh.
He couldn't help but chuckle at her frustration.
"I suggested that we have a baby." He let the words sink in and he felt his heart clench in his chest once more.
It hadn't really meant to be 100% serious. Although he certainly wouldn't have minded it.
"You did what?" She pushed herself off the wall and gave him a look that would surely have broken lesser men. "Ethan James, that's the dumbest thing you've ever done."
"Why?" He really didn't get what the big deal was. "Why is that dumb?"
"It just…" She let out a huff as her shoulders slumped. She had nothing and she knew it. "It just is."
"It's not dumb Rox." He closed his eyes against the migraine forming. "We've been together two years. We have Ariel. We're happy. It wasn't a stupid suggestion."
She had nothing to say and instead she just let out a growl.
"And that was all that it was. A suggestion. She took it too far and she says that I pushed her." He punched his fist against the wall behind him softly. "I didn't push. I brought it up one time. One fucking time!"
Rox reached out and squeezed his shoulders before locking her eyes with his.
"Maybe you two should talk some more." She must have known something that he didn't because there was a look in her eyes that said she was fully aware of why Leanne lost her damn mind at him.
He got ready to ask her why when she disappeared back through the door to his right.
He let out a growl as he knocked his head back against the brick.
Yep. Totally should have just run away when he had the chance.
—
It's Friday night and you're beautiful, so beautiful
What man wouldn't think you were the love of his life?
He'd be a fool, he'd be a fool
Ethan had stayed outside until it started to drizzle. He almost wanted to stay so that he could hide his tears with the rain.
But he knew that driving home soaked wasn't going to be much fun. So he made his way inside.
Leanne wasn't at her table anymore. Instead she was standing with Jesse and a group of nurses.
He tried to catch her eye, but she turned her head as soon as he made contact.
He felt his heart break a little more in his chest.
He headed back to the bar, demanding a shot and something stronger than a beer.
Richard placed a shot in front of him. Followed by a glass of whiskey. He also offered him a 'talk to her' as he did so.
If he hadn't liked the man so much he probably would have decked him.
He plopped down on the barstool and watched Leanne laugh at something Jesse said.
That time her smile reached her eyes. Her laugh was soft and giggly.
He felt like he was going to throw up.
He just wanted to be able to make her laugh like that again.
He hated that she was pushing him away like this.
"Planning to get drunk?" Jesse's voice broke him from his thoughts and that's when he realized that the nurse had left Leanne's side and moved to his.
"Wouldn't hurt." He shrugged with his words, downing his shot as he kept his eyes trained on the woman across from him.
"Did you two talk?" He wondered why Jesse was so invested in their relationship all of a sudden. Up until two minutes ago he had wanted to set him on fire.
"Barely." They really didn't make any progress. At least not in his eyes.
"You ever wonder why what you said made her so upset?" He didn't realize that Jesse was such an expert on their relationship until now.
It kind of hurt him that Leanne told the nurse more than she told him.
"Because what I want and what she wants are two totally different things." He choked back an almost sob and took a swig of his whiskey.
It burned on the way down. But in a way that made him feel not so bad about things.
"Did you ever stop to consider that the reason your suggestions scare her so much," Jesse clapped his hand on his shoulder as he moved to stand in front of him, blocking his view of the beautiful woman in question, "is because she wants exactly the same thing."
He shook his head as he downed his drink.
"Bullshit." Leanne had flat out made it clear that she didn't want the same thing.
Marriage, a baby, it made sense to him.
But to her. It was apparently a death sentence.
"Not bullshit Ethan." The other man squeezed his shoulder before stepping aside. "Truth."
And then he was gone.
And just like that Ethan was left alone to stare at the love of his life. An empty glass in his hand as he ran Jesse's words through his head.
—
I don't mean to ramble on like this
Hey, I'm just asking for a friend
He had sat there staring at her for another fifteen minutes before she made the move to leave the group.
He watched as she made the rounds and hugged people.
He watched as she whispered her 'goodnights' and shook a few hands.
He had had another two glasses of whiskey at this point and he was feeling brave.
So he waited until she slipped out of the door of the bar.
And then he did the same thing.
He was thankful that it had stopped raining.
And he was even more thankful that there weren't too many people milling around.
"Leanne wait!" He shouted after her and he let out a sigh when she stopped in her tracks.
He watched as her head hung forward.
"What Ethan?" She turned toward him and gave him an annoyed look.
He could see that she was exhausted.
But it was only 9:30pm. Surely she wasn't heading home to sleep.
He didn't know what to say. He had forgotten everything that he had played over in his head.
So instead, he stepped forward and reached out for her. He took her cheeks in both hands and crashed his lips against hers before he could second guess himself.
He kissed her. Hard and deep and passionately. With every ounce of love and emotion he could bare.
He wanted her to know that he still loved her.
But he knew that his words meant nothing.
He was shocked when she kissed him back.
He was even more shocked when her hands went to his head. Her fingers tugging on his hair as she tried to pull him close.
They had always been good at this part.
Even when they weren't so good at the other part.
And frankly, right now, he just wanted to kiss her.
—
Yeah, what if I told you he hadn't slept in weeks?
And he was standing right here in front of you instead of me
She was the first to pull away and he wasn't surprised.
Her lips were red and her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were dark with need.
He knew just how to get to her.
"Ethan…" She whispered his name like it was the last thing she was ever going to say.
"I miss you." He dropped one hand to her waist as he pulled her close.
"Please…" She was begging him, for what he didn't know.
"I miss you and I love you and I want to come home." He dropped his forehead to hers as he took a deep breath. "I cant sleep without you beside me. I can't breathe, I can't eat. I'm miserable at best."
"Don't…" She was starting to falter and he could tell.
Her eyes were softening and her fingers were caressing and he knew that she couldn't resist him for much longer.
"Please Leanne." He pressed another kiss to her lips as he let his fingers tangle in her hair. "I need you. I need you and Ariel and our life together."
"I…" She dropped a hand to his shoulder as her eyes closed.
He had her.
Right where he wanted her.
"I know that what I suggested was crazy. I know that having a baby is a wild idea." He watched as she opened her eyes once more, her fingers tightening around the hair at the base of his skull. "But it was just that Leanne. An idea. It was nothing more. It was never meant to cause a fight."
"Ethan…" He nipped at her lips again and he watched as a sparkle came to her eyes.
"I love you. And yes I love the idea of having a baby with you and marrying you and making this 100% permanent." He let the fingers at her hip tighten around the material of her jeans. "But if that's not what you want than it's not for us."
"Ethan…" He knew that he really should stop interrupting her, but he had so much left to say.
"Please Leanne." He was begging now and he didn't care one bit. "Please let me come home."
"Ethan!" She moved her hands to his cheeks this time, gripping his face tightly between her palms.
"What?" He didn't know what had caused her to raise her voice so loudly.
"I'm pregnant." He felt the wind leave him. All the air rushing out of his body all at once.
He felt dizzy and light headed and he was pretty certain that he was going to pass out.
"What?" He gripped her hip even tighter as he tried to pull her flush against him.
It had started to drizzle again.
The drops of water falling against his skin were cold.
He had to imagine she was probably feeling it too.
"I'm pregnant." She whispered the words again.
He noticed that her eyes had softened as she stared back at him.
He noticed the small smile on her face as she spoke.
Had this been why she had gotten so scared when he suggested they have a baby that night?
Had he predicted this life changing moment?
He felt his heart start to race in his chest.
—
Is there any way you could ever love him again?
Just asking for a friend
"You're what?" He was shocked. Beyond shocked. He was blown away.
"I'm pregnant." She whispered the words for the third time in the past five minutes.
He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath.
"Are you sure?" It's not that he doubted her.
He just expected a much different outcome from her.
Especially after the way she acted at his suggestion.
"Yeah." He forced his eyes open and he tightened his grip against her cheek as she spoke. "Three home tests and two blood tests confirmed it."
He took a deep breath again as he tried to contain his excitement.
"Did you know?" He hoped that she understood what he was saying.
"I suspected." She let her eyes fall closed and he could tell that she felt guilty.
"So you got so mad because…" He still wanted to know why she had panicked.
If she knew that she was pregnant why didn't she just come to him?
"I guess it was just all too much at once." She dropped her hands to his chest and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. "When you suggested it… it made it…"
"Real?" He let his thumb brush over her cheek. He attempted to get her tears out of the way.
"Real." He barely heard her response, but it was there.
"But it is real?" He prayed that she would open her eyes and see the joy in his.
He was thrilled about this. He wanted this more than she could ever possibly imagine.
But if this wasn't what she wanted, it would break him.
"Oh it's very real Ethan." She let her eyes open slowly and she offered him a small smile.
The rain was falling harder now and it sent a chill down his spine.
"How long?" He hadn't noticed where she had gained any weight.
But then again, she would look beautiful to him just the same, so he doubted he would really notice it.
"18 weeks." Shit, it was more real than he thought.
"18…? Wait…" That seemed like an awfully long time and he wondered how he hadn't noticed the signs.
But then his mind froze up and his heart stopped beating for a split second.
There had been plenty of signs.
The lack of sleep. The achy back. The fact that she had switched to decaf.
She hadn't touched an alcoholic drink all night.
She was going home before 10:00pm.
She hadn't worn heels in over a month.
There had been plenty of signs. He had just chosen to ignore them.
"You're almost half-way through." He whispered.
"I know." She whispered back.
She let her hand return to the back of his head. Her fingers tangled in his quickly dampening strands.
He really should get her out of this mess before she caught a cold.
"Boy or girl?" He was curious if she had decided to find out.
Or if she was waiting.
He didn't know which would be better at this point.
"Girl." That simple word sent his heart into overdrive.
A girl. A daughter. A little miniature version of Leanne.
He couldn't believe it.
"A girl?" He felt his mouth turn upward into the biggest smile. "We're having a girl."
"We're having a girl." She whispered.
He pulled her to him once more, crashing his lips against hers as he held her tight.
He never would have imagined such a bittersweet moment. Never in a million years did he think this dream would come true.
"Does this mean I can come home now?" His question was soft as he rested his forehead against hers.
He was crossing every proverbial toe and finger that he could.
He just wanted to go home to his family.
To his girls.
"I suppose so." There was a glint of humor in her eyes and her voice was soft and sweet.
"You better not be joking with me." He really couldn't handle it if she was playing him.
"I would never." She tugged his head down to hers, her lips soft as they pressed against his.
It was pouring outside now. But neither one of them seemed to care.
He was hers and she was his and that was all that mattered.
*Don't forget to comment.