It's The End Of The World

=T12=

Demyx knew he was taking an enormous risk, walking into Axel's room without knocking first. The chances were about 70:1 that the redhead would actually be doing something normal. Like watching television. The 70, of course, being the likelihood that he would be doing something more than halfway insane, like trying to light his shower on fire on fire because the water was too wet. Or hacking Zexion's World of Warcraft account. Or texting Roxas pictures of Roxas he'd found on the Internet. But still, Demyx got a kick out of freaking his best friend/boyfriend out, so he strode in anyway.

As anyone who knows Luxord has heard, no matter the odds against you, sooner or later those odds will run out. Demyx gaped in silent shock at the 100% non-psycho image of Axel watching television. It was the news, too. Then he began making amazed fishlike noises because his mouth wasn't quite working properly.

Axel looked around in confusion as the sound reached him. he stared blankly at Demyx, his green eyes flat and dull.

Demyx immediately snapped out of it at the sight of his distraught face. He practically dove onto the couch and wrapped his arms around Axel's chest. "What's wrong, Ax?" he murmured.

"Nothing," Axel said in reply, not responding to either Demyx's concern or his touch.

Demyx drew back and looked Axel straight in the eye. Even his unconquerable optimism took a hit at the redhead's defeated expression. "No, something's wrong. And I want you to tell me what it is."

"Nothing's wrong," Axel repeated with the same lack of enthusiasm.

"Axel, you're watching TV! You hate TV!" Demyx spluttered. "I'm supposed to care about you and I do and you need to tell me what's wrong so I can help you! I don't even care if this is one of your tricks because you're really not yourself and it's wrong!"

Axel's face went dark. "You'd expect that of me? You'd expect me to trick you into worrying about my wellbeing? Am I really that low?" he sounded genuinely hurt, and even more worryingly, not even mad and hurt. Just hurt, like he'd disappointed himself.

"N-no…" Demyx said only halfway truthfully. Axel just stared at him disbelievingly. "I mean, sure you play games with my head, and sometimes I do get annoyed, but you're not… bad. I know you don't do it to actually hurt me. So no, I don't expect you to act all wrong to get at me. I just thought at first you were trying the pout thing again. But now I know you're not. So please, tell me what's wrong."

"I… It just doesn't feel right," Axel said in a much quieter voice.

"What doesn't feel right?" Demyx pressed, fearful of the softness in Axel's voice. Axel was supposed to be loud and outspoken, not quiet and timid like this.

"Us," Axel sighed.

Demyx's first thought was to jump Axel and hug him really tight and sob because he never wanted to leave him. But he knew that would accomplish next to nothing, so instead he took a steadying breath, put his hands on Axel's shoulders to force their eyes to meet, and asked, "Why?"

Axel barely looked at him. "…I don't know," he gave uselessly.

Demyx let his arms fall. He had just thought of a reason. "I-is is because I'm not good enough? You know, like, in bed? Because I know you're older than me and you've cared longer and I only knew I was gay after I became a Nobody… but… I'll do- whatever you want me to- to get better."

"No," Axel said, and there was just a trace of real anger in his voice now. "You're fine- you're great… Damn, Dem, you're perfect. You're not the problem here." He had a look on his face that said he almost wanted to lean over and kiss Demyx, but the blonde knew he wasn't going to.

"You're not going to say something totally cliché like 'You don't deserve me', are you?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, I am," Axel replied, but distinctly missing the laughing smirk he should have worn. "I don't treat you well enough." He let that hang in the air between them.

Demyx didn't agree with that at all, and scrabbled around in his head to come up with a reason that Axel would understand. "What if I don't want you to?" he tried.

Axel scowled. "Then that's even worse. If you'd rather have me than your own mental health, then I've got to… give you back yourself."

It was then that Demyx started getting annoyed for real. "Is that some fancy way of saying you're breaking up with me? Cause if it is, then I demand a better explanation of what exactly you think you've done to me. Because I don't see anything wrong, but obviously your world is coming to an end."

"Demyx…" Axel began, even more quietly, eyes still fixed on the TV screen, "This is me saying that I love you so much, and that when you love someone like that you don't want anything to hurt them. You want them to have everything that's good and nothing that isn't as good as they deserve. Even if one of those things is yourself."

He wouldn't look at Demyx, but Demyx knew that he was speaking truth, or the truth as he saw it. He'd never expected love from Axel, he didn't need it and didn't want to push Axel into doing something that didn't come naturally. So he'd locked up the memories of those particular feelings and they got along as they always had except with some sex thrown in. The irony was astounding. Axel had fallen in love with the only person who'd never asked him to.

"Doesn't the person you love get a choice in the matter?" he asked, trying not to smile because he understood how worried Axel was. "What if they love you and don't want you to go?"

Axel's green eyes went wide with surprise.

"Not as stupid as I look, you know," Demyx threw in lightly.

"You're not stupid," Axel said, the strength returning to his voice. "I never thought you were. Demyx, I love you. Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you. Anything at all. I don't care what it is."

Demyx knew a lot of things he wanted Axel to give him*, but what he said was, "I want you to get over yourself. I like your ego, but if you still want to annihilate it there are several better ways to do so. I never expected you to change for me, and furthermore, I don't want you to. And I don't care what you have to say about that, either. Okay?"

For the first time, Axel smiled. "Okay," he agreed. "And… I'm sorry, then. I'm an idiot."

"No you're not," Demyx protested. "You're amazing." And he tackled Axel into the couch and kissed him for a while.

Several minutes later, when they'd both decided breathing was underrated, Demyx sat up and asked, "Is that offer still open?"

"As far as you're concerned, it's always open," Axel answered, rather vaguely, but that may have been because of his recent lack of oxygen. Or because Demyx was so damn sexy, take your pick.

Demyx gave his version of an evil grin, which was all the more disconcerting because it was coming from his usually so innocent face.

"Oh, no," Axel started, guessing what he wanted. "Uh-uh, no way."

"Going back on your promise already?" Demyx pouted. "Maybe you were right. Maybe I'd be better off with… Marluxia. I bet Marluxia would let me, and he doesn't even love me."

Axel growled, conceding defeat. "Fine. Come here, you little con artist."

Demyx laughed and jumped on top of him again. The evil grin remained. "Hmm, maybe I should have got that on camera. Your face."

"I'm going to kill you," Axel said darkly, but laughing all the while.

"I told you there were better ways to deflate your ego," Demyx went on. "So don't look like that. Oh, Axel's on the bottom, it's the end of the world as we know it."

Even though Axel knew he wasn't referencing the song, as he pulled Demyx's lips back to his, he replied, "And I feel fine."

FIN

* - *coughablowjobcough*