Title: Oh Merbereth!
Author: Serequendi
Summary: What would happen if Frodo Baggins and Harry Potter miraculously met each other despite time conflictions and had a love child despite the fact that neither have a womb?! Like OMG! A Mary Sue parody.
Disclaimer: Myself and my friend Silv' own the idea of "Silverowl Moonbeam" and any other OC that might pop up, but Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter are not our own.
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: I would like to say, first off, that I am EXTREMELY against Mary Sue-age in vast quantities. This is more of a parody, and it's bad on PURPOSE. Remember that. *nods*
It all started here:
*~*
It was a cold, rainy night when a large group of students ages eleven through seventeen made their way to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry castle. Many students were returning students with a small portion of them being new to the school. The majority of the new students were the ones that were just entering their first year at the ripe, old age of eleven; transfers were few and far between, being reserved for only very special occasions for very special people. People so special their radiance almost seemed to make them glow. One such special person happened to be making their way to the castle at this very moment, and people were starting to notice.
A very tall, sixteen year old boy with bright, fiery hair was one of the first to notice. He pokes his best friend, a much shorter boy with shaggy hair and distinctive glasses.
"Harry!" he shrieked.
"What?!" The other boy snapped in annoyance at his friend who has interrupted his long, whiny speech about how horrible his summer was.
"Look!" the first boy nearly screamed in excitement, pointing out the window. "There's a glowing blob on the lake! I wonder what that is about?"
Surely enough, there was a bright blob on the lake that resembled a person. The blob glowed a bright, silver colour that caused those around it to shade their eyes. It was taller than the other figures that were barely discernable against the dark lake, making it appear that the figure was older than the others. Harry stared at the light unblinkingly for a while, his mouth agape.
"Curious," a girl in their carriage murmured to herself. "Very curious… I know I've heard of something like this before.." With that, she plunged into her bookbag. The redhead groaned.
"Really, 'Mione, the school year hasn't even started yet and you're already studying!"
"You can't tell me that you're not at all curious about the glow, Ron."
"Well of course I am!" Ron huffed. "But I'm not going to go look in a book about it!"
"What's wrong with books?"
With that, another one of the duo's infamous fights started. Their other companion didn't take much notice to them, for he was quite used to such behavior from the two. Besides that, the glowing person mesmerized him. He thought he could discern through the glow the face of the person, somebody with beauty to rival even a veela. Yet he could not get the feeling that he had seen her before out of his head…
*~*
The trio of Gryffindors had done their best to watch and wait for the glowing person, but since the carriages were faster than the rowboats the best they could do was wait for the person to enter the Great Hall; they figured the person would be easy to pick out, as they were glowing.
"I know I've read something about glowing people before!" Hermione muttered to herself, banging her fist on the table. "Marriage Sues? No…"
The two boys weren't paying attention to her. For his part, Ron was busy telling off his sister, Ginny, and trying to convince his friend and dorm mate, Dean Thomas, to sit as far away from her as possible. At the same time, the scarred boy was resting his head in his hand, his elbow on the table, trying to think of anywhere he might have been where he might have seen a glowing girl. Before he could dwell on this thought any longer, however, the doors to the hall opened with a bang, pulling everybody out of their thoughts and actions as they all looked over to the line of scared, timid first years behind the well-known, giant professor as they marched between the tables up to the sorting hat.
The first thing anybody could notice was the tall girl that stood out amongst the others. Her height and refined features gave away her age, clearly showing that she had to be a transfer student. Her hair was ash brown, but when the light hit it just right you could see the silver highlights that were in the mass of curls, curls so perfect and somehow untouched by the rain. Her short hair framed her oval face perfectly, contrasting her pale, perfect complexion drastically. Her skin was perfect, the kind of perfect that could only be achieved without effort. Her eyes were now a dark blue, but had been known to change colors – from green to blue to light blue to dark blue to navy blue to hazel to brown to chocolate brown to gray to red to purple to yellow to orange to yelloworange to black to tickle-me-pink to silver, and sometimes to flash all of the colors of the rainbow in a quick cycle. When she smiled, her cheeks would get round and chubby, adding to her adorability. Her face now, however, was caught in a smirk. As she raised one perfect, long-fingered hand to wipe her bangs out of her eyes, a long, jagged scar in the shape of a symbol that Harry could not discern was visible for a few seconds before her hair went back into its natural place again. Her robes accentuated her feminine figure, everything about it perfect. Harry also noted that she was slightly hairy..
Professor McGonagall took up a parchment, cleared her throat, and started calling out the names of the children to be sorted. Harry didn't take notice, didn't even cheer when somebody was sorted into his own house, Gryffindor; Harry was only able to watch the girl as she stood there, relaxed and uncaring, her face in a perpetual smirk. After a time, she was at the front of the line.
"Silverowl Moonbeams!" McGonagall called out, prompting the now silver-eyed girl to step forward, sit on the stool, and wait patiently for the hat to announce her house.
Which is exactly what she did.
Usually when a student would have the hat placed upon their head, the hat would fall down to their ears. However, because of Silverowl's age, the hat slid down only a small bit before stopping. She sat there, as serene as ever, and examined her nails.
Curious…"What's curious?" she murmured to the hat as it examined the deepest regions of her brain.
You are a very difficult one to place…"I would imagine as much!"
….
"Well I'm brave, clever, cunning, and loyal! I should have my own house!" she giggled, a sound like water rushing over rocks down a waterfall in a far away land where people spoke another language, wore cloaks, and preformed a different kind of magic.
Let's not forget "humble."
"That, too."
Alright.. well..
The hat opened its mouth and yelled out.
"GRYFFINDOR!"
A whole table burst into applause and screams of happiness..
"WAIT!"
The applause dwindled down.
"I CHANGED MY MIND! RAVENCLAW!"
Half of the Ravenclaw table started to clap after waiting a few seconds, but were stopped moments later.
"NO! NO! SLYTHERIN! .. HUFFLEPUFF?"
Silverowl sighed. "Are you going to make up your mind any time soon?"
Fine, Missy, YOU choose the house!"Gryffindor, please!" she requested in her sweet voice.
"Fine. GRYFFINDOR!"
Nobody dared to do so much as breathe.
".. I'm serious this time."
Applause.
*~*
Hermione Granger slammed the door shut right in the face of a whole crowd of boys who had managed to, in a span of thirty minutes, gather gifts of all sorts and start offering them to Silverowl. The clever girls' hair now seemed frizzier than ever; it could have been from the stress of having to save Silverowl from the crowd of admirers, but then again it could also be that even the most perfect girl's hair looked sub-par next to the new student's hair. Hermione took a few moments to catch her breath before finally looking up to see Silverowl sitting sweetly on the bed that had magically appeared in the Sixth Year's dormitory eating a box of chocolate. A curious look crossed her face.
"Where did you get that?" she questioned. The girl with the perfect curls shrugged one shoulder and continued to eat the chocolate ever-so-delicately. "Some small boy gave it to me." She then said, as an afterthought, "He stuttered, the poor dear."
"Give me that!" Hermione grabbed the box of chocolate from Silverowl, opened the door, and chucked the chocolate out; she then slammed the door back shut before anybody else could get in, ignoring the yelp of pain followed by "OW! MY EYE!" that came from the general direction that she threw the chocolate at.
"You can't just accept their gifts like that!" she exclaimed, exasperated.
"But why not?" Silverowl asked innocently. "They're ever-so-kind to give them to me, why not take them?" Hermione sighed exasperatedly.
"They'll take it the wrong way!" This made the girl whose eyes were now bright green laugh with much mirth.
"Silly Hermione! It is not as though the timid creature will now think that I am his girlfriend!"
*~*
"AND SHE TOOK MY CHOCOLATE!" Dennis Creevey squeaked as she flailed his arms and retold the story to his dorm mates.
"This must mean you're engaged, mate!" his dorm mate said in awe. Dennis' eyes grew quite large at that.
"Yeeeeeeeah!"
*~*
"Besides, I do like chocolate ever so much! And it's okay, because my complexion always stays ever so perfect!"
Hermione could not place why, but she was suddenly annoyed with this girl. "Right.." she said. Desperate for a reason to leave the dormitory, she fished around in her mind for some excuse. "I'm, er.. going to check on Harry now. Good bye!" she called over her shoulder as the spun around and nearly sprinted out the door.
"Send him my best regards!" Silverowl called after her, waving her fingers at her. Hermione closed the door and made her way wading through the fanboys.
There is something odd about that girl. I need to figure it out! She thought to herself as she left.
Little did she know that the real problem was that there was no problem with her.
*~*
Later that night, Silverowl's now purple eyes clashed with the puffy redness that came from crying. The slightly hairy girl moaned as she sobbed before turning over onto her back, throwing her arms carelessly to the side, and moaning "Woe is me!" before falling asleep almost immediately.