*Author's Note: This is Mulan's POV. The Italicized words are Mulan's narration and after that, regular font is used to distinguish it from what is actually happening to the story. Lines in Bold are Aurora's. Oh and OUAT, not mine, nor are the characters. R/R! THANK YOU! :)
"In that Moment"
"Aurora's gone, they took her!" My voice was laced with worry, frustration and desperation all at the same time. As if my watery eyes aren't enough to express how I felt.
Because in that moment, I knew that I truly cared for her. It was no longer about me keeping my vow to Philip and keep her safe. I was doing it because I wanted to.
So many other things happened that day. I lost her for a while, but she was able to come back, found out she lost her heart, got it back for her and placed it where it belonged. She had even saved me from being impaled on the neck with an arrow. An arrow I was willing to take because the others wouldn't let me save her by trading in the compass.
Those happened a while back, but I just couldn't forget how I felt, how she made me feel... how we looked into each others eyes when I put her heart back in.
Which leads me to what I'm doing now. I'm standing by the end of her lovely garden, just watching her tend to the plants.
She turned and was genuinely surprised to see me after being apart for a while. I was out there battling evil, killing them off before they even got to her. That way, I still get to protect her even if I'm far away.
"Mulan? How long have you been there, what are you doing?" This is it, no turning back. I strode over and met her halfway as she took my hand. "Just...gathering my courage," I said honestly. I could tell that this response sort of confused her. "What's going on? I'm so glad you're back." My princess- excuse me- the princess could not hide her glee and to tell you the truth, I really, really like it. I breathe in deeply to ease my nerves and smelled her perfume. I almost forgot to breathe out because I'm so scared to say what I wanted to say and yet I couldn't wait to tell her. . . Suddenly, I am not myself so I did the next best thing: I looked at her, into her eyes. They always seem to calm me down and make me feel like I have the kind of power that even the Dark One couldn't match. Love sure feels like a spell and it willed me to tell Aurora how I felt.
So first things first.
"Is Philip here?" I asked, not wanting to be interrupted in the middle of my confession.
"No, no. Do you want me to get him?" She's all smiles.
"NO. That isn't necessary. It's... you I want to talk to." A pause, a breath. "You see, um..." I can do this but- "Why are you smiling at me?" I asked. Not that I mind. Maybe I just want to know if I'm the reason behind that wonderful smile.
"I can tell you were bursting with news, but so am I!" she said excitedly. She is? "You are...?" Now it's my turn to be confused. However, what she said next was something I was not prepared for and I feel so foolish for not even considering that possibility. Then again, none of this was to be expected.
Her words broke through my armor like a spear and pierced my heart.
"Philip and I are expecting a baby." Yes, that's what she was smiling about.
I didn't know how to respond, but my grandmother taught me well enough how to react to these kinds of news. Trust me, it was never this difficult to say "That's...excellent news," before. She hugged me because she clearly couldn't express her joy more. I'm on the verge of tears but I try to hold it back in, only making me hold on to her tighter. I clench my jaw as she says, "It's like a dream come true." The first tear almost ready to fall on her shoulder, so I wiped it off with the back of my gloved hand. She probably thought it was tears of joy. A part of me is happy that her dreams are coming true, but the selfish part of me wants me to be a part of her dreams. It's very difficult to explain but I hope you know what I mean.
This is the hardest battle I've ever fought and I just... lost.
"Now please, tell me your news." She's really happy, it makes me feel bad for even thinking of coming here. I really should be thinking about myself more. That's why I came here in the first place, to claim my happiness but the tables have turned. So what do I do? "I'm joining Robin Hood's band."
"You're leaving us?"
I urged my feet to move and walk away as fast as I could but the look on her face kills me. As if she's the one who got her heart broken. As if she's going to miss me when Philip is around and she'll be so busy with the baby. As if, as if she couldn't live with the idea that I'm not coming back. Maybe I won't. Better yet, I shouldn't.
WHY am I being like this? I should stop this nonsense right now! I guess bitterness is the aftertaste of heartbreak. So I spit it out and swallowed my pride. She deserves to know.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. But not before I tell you how I really feel. I'm not leaving you for Robin Hood, or his band. I'm leaving for me so that I won't see you anymore. You're like a piece of magic that always pulls me back in, that makes me want to cling to every fiber of your being until we're one." Sigh, "You're already one with Philip, Aurora. The baby in your womb proves just that. I came here to tell you all that before it's too late, and it is. A part of me was telling me that if I had told you sooner, then maybe you'd have told me that you felt the same way.." That last part came out almost as a whisper as tears were flowing freely now.
"Mulan, I-" she's also crying now, but why, I don't know for certain.
I cut her off mid-sentence "No, please don't. It's hard enough as it is. You don't need to explain. Philip is, and always will be your true love. I completely understand." Having said that, I turned to leave. Her soft but firm hand grabbed me by the arm. "No, don't go." I paused but did not face her, afraid that it will affect my decision to leave, especially now that she's asking me to stay. She always gets what she wants, she is a princess after all. But the thing is, I'm willing to give her everything she asks, sometimes, even without asking.
"I knew for a while that your feelings for me were more than friendly, but I dismissed it as I thought it was just my ego. Or my longing for Philip making me see things that weren't really there." She went in front of me, looking into my eyes so deep. I'll weaken at her stare so I dropped my head and looked at my feet instead. I let her go on. "When Philip was gone, you took care of me, always putting me ahead of yourself. I thought, 'how could she do it, protect the woman that Philip loves?'. I would catch you staring into an empty space even before as if thinking of something or someone that you're longing for. I was right, you know. I know love when i see it. I assumed it was Philip you were thinking of because, well, it was Philip. You were with him for a long time and then he was gone. You were even going to mark yourself so that the wraith won't get him."
I had to smile at this, only if she knew my reasons then. I had offered to mark myself because I knew that they belong together, and while I am fighting for the cause of others, I belong with no one. Surely, an independent woman like myself could survive? Of course I could, but wouldn't it be nice to have someone alongside you? Someone to fight for? The moment I saw Aurora laying on the slab of marble stone, I felt...joy. At the time, I thought it was because I was helping Philip to save Aurora, but later on, I realized, that she was the one that was missing in my life.
She continued, "You risked your life for mine, you brought back my heart when you could have just left me. You are so brave and caring and so sweet even if you always try to mask your real feelings, I could see the real you. And I love that. I love you, but only as a friend." I could tell that it pains her to hurt me, but it is something that cannot be avoided when one's love is unrequited.
I nodded sadly, "Thank you for being honest." I didn't know what else to say. Another long, excruciating pause, "Goodbye." I hugged her one more time and in that moment, I felt the spear being pushed deeper into my heart. So I turned and walked away, not even looking back.