*Disclaimer pertaining to any chapters: I own none of Harry Potter's world and make no profit off of any of this story.
*~*Dear Diary Chapter One*
Dear Diary,
Why did he have to tell me this now? What is going on? What is so special about me? And if he's felt this way for so long, why did he wait so long? I love him, I really do. But it's too late! Damnit...if he had told me this a year ago, I probably would have kissed him...
What's a year's difference, one might ask? Just one year is the difference between me being able to look at him like that...and me being a young woman who knows what her feelings for him mean. They don't mean romance, and all the good stuff attached to it...roses, chocolates, dates, snogging... But it's all too late for that now. I can honestly say that a year changed me. In many ways.
Last year I couldn't tell this from that when it came to my heart. I would look at him, feel like smiling, and ask myself if all the happiness he gave me meant I fancied him... I would look at all our spats as one of two things: proof we wouldn't be good together or proof we were too different...
After the incident at the Department of Mysteries, I was more than confused. When I was being cared afterwards, I would cry when nobody was looking. I had almost lost him... and it was because of me. He would have been fine if he hadn't been worried about me. I just knew it...
I felt horrible, thinking about how I had almost lost him... Did this mean I couldn't live without him? And if that was so...then I...but no, I couldn't love him. He's like a brother to me! I spent so many hours just thinking, just replaying our entire friendship in my head.
It was about three days before I came to the conclusion that this was all nonsense. I loved him only like a brother. That was all there was too it.
For about a year I was certain about that...but then he has to tell me this...
I told him all this, after he decides to tell me he loves me... But now even I'm not sure. He wants to just forget that he even said it.
HOW CAN I DO THAT?
I told him okay, but inwardly I still know it.
If I hadn't pressured him... we were just talking about our feelings, as best friends do... Why couldn't I just assume he didn't wanna talk about it!!!!
But oh well...I've already told him my feelings...
Damnit all...
Hermione