For the Longest
Disclaimer: I don't won Naruto.
Summary: After all these years, I can say that I really lost at love. School has been open for 2 weeks now, I hope things get better. Maybe Sasuke's eyes will open and he'll see that I've loved him the longest.
Hello, my name is Hyuuga Hinata and I'm 15 years old. I just started my fourth year at Honoha High. My dads a diplomat so he travels a lot. I'm even sure that we're going to move in the end of the school year. I have one older brother and a little sister. I want to tell you the story of how I've been in love with the same guy for all these years at Konoha.
When I first came to school, everyone thought I was strange because I was quite silent and always kept to myself. But after about a week I blended in. I even made a best friend, her name is Sakura Haruno. It was like two pieces of a puzzle we clicked real fast. We had the same interests the same thoughts and we had a really good time. I sat with her everyday during every class.
One day, in art class, she asked me what type of guys I liked. I answered saying that I liked boys with long hair and blue eyes or guys that had gel on their hair to make spikes. She quickly scanned the class and pointed at Uchiha Sasuke saying that he fit my description perfectly. He had long black hair and dark eyes. I just hit her arm and told her to be serious. Then she pointed at Inuzuka Kiba saying he was cute. I just laughed.
Two weeks later, I finally told Sakura that I had a huge crush on Sasuke. That I had liked him since school had began. She had told me that she would do everything possible to help me win his heart.
He was the silent and sportive type. He had good grades and was extremely handsome in my opinion though Sakura had said that he looked like a duck. The was a true mystery. I did everything I could to be friends with him. I started to listen to punk rock because that was his favorite genre, I watched wrestling because he always talked about that with his friends. I even bought a skateboard to try and learn how to skate because he had said that that was his favorite sport. I can clearly say that I had fallen head over heels for him.
In class, I had caught him staring at me once or twice so hope had immediately covered ever single being of my existence. I became really good friends with Kiba although Sasuke was still impossible to reach. I did everything I could to impress him. I played the cool girl attitude for a long time. I played basketball to show him how good I was and every time I fell I stayed there a few more seconds just so he could see me.
Of course, life wasn't how I had hoped it'd be. Mondays, he got out an hour before me because we was Japanese and I was American and since we lived in America, I had to take one more hour of English. I never sat down before I saw him walk away. Sakura told me that I had a chance, I believed her. I was the best girl friend he had in the school or that was what I believed.
I started getting suspicious when he started spending lots of time with the girls a grade bigger than us, they were also Japanese so they talked about things relating to Japan.
Whenever I was near him I always feared of making a mistake talking or saying something stupid, I couldn't even look him in the eyes, I was hopelessly starting to fall in love.
One day, during gym, I was early in class so I was shooting some hoops alone, when Kiba came with a few friends and started jumping over a tennis net. I jump over it once, twice, three times. It was easy for me. Then Sasuke came and started showing off how good he could jump. I jumped over it one last time and my foot got caught in the net and I fell down. When I opened my eyes, the gym teacher was already there and he was talking, Sakura told me that I was unconscious for almost 15 minutes. I had memory loss the whole morning, I had embarrassed myself in front of him.
The school year passed pretty much the same. Before every single holiday, I would wait at the front gate of the school, wishing that he would confess to me. I had never dated before of course I had told the girls at school that I had a boyfriend in my previous school but it was a lie, I almost dated this one guy, but I had to leave before anything had happened.
Before summer vacation I waited at the gates for 15 minutes but later learned that he had left before me. I was disappointed, I was sad and I had cried for the first time in a very long time.
At the beginning of the next year, I just said hello to him, he didn't try to open a conversation. It seemed hopeless but my love for him didn't end. Nothing interesting happened before January. I still stared at him in class and Sakura always told me that he stared at me as much as he could. During January two thing happened.
First, I had a huge fight with Sakura, the boys in the class, told me that she was a 'whore' and that she was flirting with all of them and that she had wanted to break up their friendship, they told me stories and it seemed real, but I didn't pick a side, she was my best friend I couldn't betray her. That day, before lunch ended, she attacked Choji, when I tried to stop her, she slapped me calling me a traitor and many other words. That day, I lost my best friend. Two weeks later, I saw Sasuke talking and laughing with the same girl a grade bigger than us. I understood it then, they were dating. I was crushed, he had a girlfriend. I was upset, I cried all night. I felt helpless.
A month later my brother told me that he was gay. I wanted to believe him, he told me that the upperclassmen had told him. They had broke up. I was happy. But then another horrible truth hit me. He was dating the best friend of the girl, thats why she was upset. I had lost him 2 times in one year.
The year went on, with my love growing and growing. I slowly became friends with Uzumaki Naruto, Sasuke's best friend. We talked ever single night and talked on msn. The year ended. I waited at the door again, for him to come to me and say he loved me, that never happened.
During the summer vacation, I decided to change out of my baggy clothes and try a new look. On the first day of school, we didn't talk, I was crushed. The year went on with no events except me becoming best friends with Naruto. We talked about everything, how I loved Sasuke and how Naruto loved an older girl. We made a deal, if I confessed to Sasuke he was to confess to the girl. I didn't know what to do. I thought about every single way I could do it, I didn't find any good way. Naruto even told me that Sasuke had a crush on an older girl and that he had confessed. I learned later that he had confessed on my birthday.
Finally, I decided to tell him by sending him a message. I had been in love with him for 3 years, I deserved him. I sent him a message a Thursday night at 8 o'clock during April saying I loved him but I was to shy to tell him in person. He wrote back saying he preferred talking to me the next day. I went to school and waited. One class, two class's, three class's nothing, at lunch I was upset. Why didn't he talk to me? I talked to Naruto and he said Sasuke was confused and didn't know what to say. So I just waited. After French, I went to my locker to get my books. When I was getting my books he came. He leaned against my locker and said we needed to talk. I just nodded. He told me how he loved me but not in that way. I just smiled and said it was nothing, just a moments fling. He put a hand on my shoulder smiled at me and left. I cried during music class and when I went home, mom wasn't there, so I just curled in bed and cried. Naruto tried to comfort me but no words were good enough. The next day, we were to go to paintball together. We were on different teams but I had a lot of fun. After that we sat in a coffee shop. We were only 5 because the others had left earlier. When I had to leave I hugged and kissed everyone. As I said good bye to Naruto, we hugged for a moment, not lovely-cuddly hug but a funny fun one. When it was time to say goodbye to Sasuke, he jut shook my hand, nothing else. I cried once again when we went home. We never spoke after that, only saying 'hi' a few times. I was sad because I had gotten rejected and because Naruto was leaving in the end of year. I decided to throw him a dinner. We were only 7, I had lots of fun but when it was time for them to leave he didn't even say bye or a 'thank you'. Sakura and I were friends again, she had stayed a little while longer, we talked about me and him. She told me to forget him, something she did often. I had tried before but I never succeeded. At the end of year, we had a big exam so the whole class, we went to dinner a day later. I did my best to look pretty. Everyone told me I looked amazing. We hardly talked that night. He never complemented my appearance, I was crushed. A week passed and it was time for Naruto to leave, I cried a lot. Being my best friend, he had always organized events where I could see Sasuke but I had lost him. I thought about how I loved Naruto but how I loved Sasuke more. If Sasuke didn't exist I'm sure a romantic relationship could have been an option with Naruto but it was to late.
During the summer break, I hardly spoke to him. But I was the first to wish him a happy birthday and I had spent the whole vacation trying to find him the perfect present. I decided to get him a shirt and a special statue with his name written on it. And behind it, I had even wrote 'Love Hinata'. I wanted to give it to him the first day of school.
A month later school opened. I was able to say hi to him without saying anything stupid. The first day I was determined to give him the present so I went to him at lunch and told him I had a present for him, he said he had one for me to. I was happy, he had thought about me during summer. He came in front of my locker and I gave him the present but right when he was about to open it, Kiba came, and opened it! I was furious. I had expected and dreamt of the moment to be perfect, for us to hug. He gave me my present and it turned out to be a skateboard grip. He had decided to give it to me because he didn't skate anymore. I had expected a key chain, a small stuffed animal anything I could cherish but instead he gave me a grip... I felt to bad to tell him that I didn't skate anymore. School was the same except the fact that they're was a new kid in my class, a boy named Gaara, he was handsome, no he is handsome. I get along well with him. We talk at school and we even have this thing where we try to tickle each other, the other girls at school are jealous cause he's the most handsome kid in the school. Although I still have feeling for Sasuke but a relationship with him doesn't even seem realistic not does one with Gaara even today, we were playing basketball when someone yelled 'You're getting beat my a girl' and he just said 'You call that a girl?' It hurt me a lot. Was I not meant to have a boyfriend?
I'm sure I'm meant to die alone! I don't know what to do anymore. I don't think Sasuke knows that I still love him, and that it's been four years already. The thing is, he's leaving in the end of the year and I'll probably never see him again. It crushes me. But it crushes me even more to see that my last 4 years have been me trying to get a boy to love me. I really am pitiful. I don't know what to do!
I realized today that as I was waiting for him to talk to me before we went home for Christmas the first year, I had said 'Have a great vacation Sasuke' he had just said 'Yea, you to ….'. During December, 3 months after school had opened, he didn't know my name. I had said Hinata and smiled. 'My name is Hinata'. When I was doddling his name in my notebooks he didn't even know my name.
The sad thing is that I think that he still loves the girl a year bigger than us because a week ago we went to play guitar hero together and he had left for a few seconds with Kiba and as they entered the room, I heard Kiba say 'The way to get a girl to love you is to make her jealous' Sasuke had just nodded.
After all these years, I can say that I really lost at love. School has been open for 2 weeks now, I hope things get better. Maybe Sasuke's eyes will open and he'll see that I've loved him the longest.
I know this story was really bad but I just had to post it. Lots of fics on this website have happy endings and I love that but after two stories where Hinata finds love I think that I had to do something real-life related... we don't always get the one we love...trust me.