The Night of the Tomorrow's Yesterday

I do not own any of this. Not James Kirk, not James West, not Artemus Gordon, not Leonard McCoy, not Spock… you get the point.

There were three things that Dr. Leonard McCoy was sure of at the moment. One, he had no clue where they were or how they got there. Two, Spock was missing. And three, he and James Kirk were about to become train robbers.

"I still say this is a bad idea, Jim;" McCoy said, looking at the small train sitting on a rail siding about three hundred feet away. It was a classic steam locomotive, with an engine and two cars. "Just because we haven't seen anyone other than the Engineer doesn't mean there's no one else there. And who ever owns that thing might come back at any time."

"Bones, it's an in and out job. Five minutes max;" Kirk replied. "Besides, we can't just walk into a town looking like this." He motioned to their uniforms. "We'd get shot!"

"We have no proof that we're on Earth!" McCoy said. Kirk pointed to the train. "Other than the train;" McCoy corrected. "You know what, fine. Whatever. But if you get your ass shot up with a colt pistol, don't come crying to me!"

Kirk just grinned. "But you're the doctor, Bones;" he said. "I have to come crying to you. Now come on." Staying low, Kirk and McCoy sprinted towards the train car on the end, avoiding the engine. Jumping up onto the rear platform, Kirk tried the door only to find it locked.

"Do you have a bobby pin?" Kirk asked, but McCoy just glared at him. Rolling his eyes ('Bones, we need to work on your humor.'), Kirk pulled out his phaser, shot the lock, and opened the door, not noticing the small string that snapped as the door opened. Their eyes went wide as the door opened to the lush interior of the train car.

"Well, this is unexpected;" McCoy said, looking around. He noticed a small stack of papers, and picked one up. Color instantly drained from his face.

"Jim?"

Kirk turned around from inspecting a small statue. "Ya Bones?"

"I found a newspaper… it's got a date… We're on Earth all right… It's an old San Francisco Times."

"When, Bones? What's the date?"

McCoy looked up. "June 14, 1875."

Kirk's eyes went even wider than before. "1875?"

He walked over and grabbed the paper. "So we've been transported through time and space to 19th century Earth;" he said. "But we have no idea how, or why, or where Spock ended up." Kirk looked at McCoy. "You look around; see if you can find us some money, and maybe something to eat. I'll find us a wardrobe."

"Just know that red is not my color;" McCoy called after his young friend, but Kirk just waved him off. Sighing, the Doctor began looking around the train car.

"Wonder who owns this thing;" he mumbled.

W~W~W~W

"James, my boy, next time they tell us to pick up a message and we have the option of taking the train, we take the train!"

"But Artie, it was faster to do it this way."

"I don't care!"

James West just smiled and shook his head. Artemus had a point. After riding for almost eighteen hours, he was ready for a nice, easy, relaxing train ride to San Francisco.

"Fine; we take the train next time;" West said. Artemus Gordon nodded, happy that his partner agreed with him.

"By the way, Jim, where is the train?"

"Right over this hill;" West replied. The horses made their way over the little hill, revealing the waiting train. West frowned.

"We have a problem, Artie;" he said, pointing to a small flag waving above the parlor car.

Gordon nodded; "Intruders."

"Let's circle around the front;" West said, moving his horse. "They might still be in there, and we might have a chance at surprising them."

"Right;" Gordon said, following his friend. They rode back behind the hill, parallel to the train for a minute or two before turning and aiming for the engine. West noticed a man waving at them from the engine car, and gave a sigh of relief. Who ever had broken in hadn't tried to take the train… yet.

"The flag and alarm went off about ten minutes ago;" the Engineer explained. "We never saw anyone come in, didn't hear anything either. But there's someone in the parlor car; Mattson heard them talking."

"And you didn't try to kick them out?" Gordon asked. The Engineer twisted his hat.

"We decided to wait for them to come to us;" he said. "Ambush them, you know? Only they haven't come out yet."

"Well then, let's ambush them;" West said. "Artie, you take the hidden entrance behind the fireplace, I'll take the coupling entrance. Orrin, you take the back entrance. Mattson and Kerry, you two be ready."

Everyone quickly moved into position. West would enter first, and draw the intruders' attention. After that Gordon would use the secret entrance, followed by Orrin. West jumped up onto the ledge, and slowly opened the door. He peered in, but found no one in the hallway; but there were voices coming from the parlor. He slipped in and silently closed the door behind him. Pulling his gun out, West made his way towards the parlor, hoping that the element of surprise would work.

"Bones, none of this stuff fits me!"

"At this point, Jim, I don't think fashion and looks matter. We need to go!"

"Fine, fine, give me a sec." West pushed himself into a door frame as the footsteps grew louder, but the intruder didn't enter the hallway.

"Oh for Pete's sake, Jim, you have to be kidding me!"

"What, I've always wanted one of these!"

"You'll shoot your eye out!"

'They found a gun;' West though. He took a deep breath, and burst into the parlor.

"You may want to listen to your friend;" he said. "Because if you don't shoot your eye out, I might."

The young man dropped the gun, and the other one sighed and shook his head. "For the record;" the second man said, putting his hands up. "I want you to know this was his idea, and I told him it was a bad one." The first man glared at his friend.

"Shut up, Bones!" he snapped. Suddenly, Gordon popped out from behind the fireplace.

"Now what do we have here?" he said.

"Damn it, damn it! Why me?" the second man groaned. He was wearing one of Gordon's jackets over a blue shirt. A small knapsack was on the floor by his feet where he had dropped it. Gordon could see some more of his clothes stuffed into the bag. The younger man had on one of West's shirts, which was slightly too small for him. The gun he had taken sat on a gold colored shirt. Two seconds later, Orrin burst through the back door, and the blue-shirted man fell onto the couch, shaking his head.

"Seems they needed a change of clothes, Artie;" West replied. "You, join your friend on the couch, if you don't mind. Ah-ah! Don't even think about it boy!" he added as the young man reached for what looked like a gun on his hip, but it wasn't any gun West had ever seen. West grabbed the gun before the man sat down.

"Now then, Jim and Bones, do you have any other names?" West asked.

The young man glared as him. "I'm Ca…" he paused, and tried again. "I'm James T. Kirk. He's Dr. Leonard McCoy."

"Okay then, Ca James T. Kirk;" Gordon said, leaning on the back of the couch. "What were you and the Doc here doing in our train; hm? Other than stealing our clothes."

"That's all we were doing;" Kirk replied. McCoy just nodded his head still in his hands. "Wait, no!" Kirk cried as West dumped the contents of McCoy's knapsack onto the table. Among the clothes was another funny looking gun, a strange looking object, a small box with a flip cover, and a leather case; along with a hundred dollars and some food. West looked at Kirk and McCoy.

"You two realize you are trying to steal from two federal officers, right?" he said. Kirk turned slightly pale, and McCoy started moaning.

"Damn it! I told you, I told you we should never have gone down there!" he yelled at Kirk. "But no, you said we had to, and we did. And now look where we've ended up! How you ever became a Captain I have no clue! Why don't you ever listen to me?"

"Bones, shut up!" Kirk snapped.

"Captain James T. Kirk, eh?" Gordon walked around to the other side of the couch to get a better look at the contents of the bag. "I'm with your friend. You're far too young to be a Captain; even Jim here was older than you when he was made Captain."

Kirk scowled. "That's what they all say;" he muttered. "I'm 26, you know."

"Okay, so Jim was younger than you."

"Wait, don't touch that!" McCoy made a move to jump off the couch as Gordon picked up one of the funny looking guns, but West pointed his own gun right at him.

"Sit down, Reb;" West ordered, which McCoy did.

"Reb? Why Reb?" McCoy asked.

"You're from the South, right?"

"Yes. Born and raised in Georgia. How'd you know?"

"You have a Southern accent, Rebel."

McCoy turned bright red as it dawned on him what West was talking about. "Damn Yankees;" he muttered under his breath. Kirk was nervously watching Gordon turn the gun over in his hands.

"What is this thing?" Gordon asked, looking the gun over. He pointed it at a dart board on the other end of the car. "I've never seen anything like it. Wonder what it fires…"

"NO!" Kirk and McCoy shouted as Gordon pulled the trigger. A beam of light shot out of the gun, frying the dart board Gordon was aiming at.

"Jesus Mary and Joseph!" Gordon cried, dropping the gun. Orrin, who had been off to the side, dropped the shot gun he was holding. West was stunned for a second, and then turned back to Kirk and McCoy, both of whom looked very uncomfortable.

"Explain;" West growled, motioning to the burnt board with his gun.

"You wouldn't believe us;" Kirk replied.

"Try me."

"We're from the future!" McCoy cried. "Jim here is the Captain of the Starship Enterprise; I'm the Chief Medical Officer. Somehow we were transported through time and space to this time period and were separated from our friend. So we broke into your train so we could get a change of clothes so we wouldn't stand out so much and could look for Spock." He took a few deep breaths, and looked at Kirk. "I just broke every rule in the book, haven't I?"

"Pretty much, yep;" Kirk replied. 'I knew I should have just stunned these two when I had the chance!'

Nobody said anything for a few moments. Orrin's mouth hung open as he started inching towards the door. Gordon noticed him and nodded; allowing Orrin to rush out. Kirk frowned as he heard laughter from outside. West looked like he couldn't decide if McCoy had just given the truth or not.

"That's the craziest thing I've ever heard!" Gordon exclaimed, trying not to laugh. "Jim, I say we let them go just for that excuse."

"It's the truth;" Kirk said. "You don't have to believe us, but it is. We are from the future; about five hundred years, give or take a few. Please, we have to find our friend; he might be in trouble. More trouble than us;" he added.

"Artie, I think they may be telling the truth;" West said.

"What?" Artie cried.

"What?" Kirk cried.

"Really?" McCoy cried.

West nodded. "I don't know why, but I believe you, Kirk. Artie, we've seen some pretty weird stuff. Heck, we even did some time traveling ourselves!"

"You have?" Kirk said.

"Good point;" Artie replied. "Still, this all seems a bit far fetched…"

"Yes, but it makes sense;" West pointed out. "I've never seen uniforms like theirs before, pretty sure you haven't either. All they were going to steal from us was a change of clothes and a hundred dollars, and a couple of apples. And you saw what that gun thing did to the dart board; even Loveless could never come up with something like that! So unless you have a better explanation, I say we go with theirs." He pointed his thumb at Kirk and McCoy, who wasn't freaking out any more.

"Okay, but now what?" Gordon asked. "What do we do with them?"

West frowned. "I don't know."

"You could give us the clothes;" Kirk said. "And let us on our merry way to find our friend."

"Jim, maybe they could help us;" McCoy hissed. "Because, quite frankly, I don't know the first thing about how to not stand out in the 1870s, and I'm pretty sure you don't either. Besides, we don't even know if Spock was transported back with us, or where to start looking if he was!"

"If your friend, Spock is it?" Gordon said. "If Spock stands out as much as you two, then finding him won't be that hard."

"Oh, he stands out all right;" Kirk replied. "He'll stand out way more than me and Bones…" He frowned. "Enough that he might end up in a bad way…"

"Spock is a smart… man;" McCoy reassured his Captain. "He won't draw too much attention to himself. Just enough for us to find him."

"Well, you're not going to find your friend Spock out here;" West said, folding his arms. "The closest city, and probably best bet, would be San Francisco."

"San Francisco?" Kirk said, perking up, but then remembered it wasn't the San Francisco he knew. "Oh, wait…"

"Jim, are you serious?" Gordon cried. "We can't take them to San Francisco!"

"How else are they going to get there, Artie? I highly doubt they can ride."

"I can ride a horse;" McCoy mumbled. "Sort of." Kirk said nothing.

"Besides, it's not a long trip, we'll be there by tomorrow morning;" West continued. "Once we get there, we'll set you two up, and you can go and find your friend. If Artie and I have time, we'll try and help you out."

Kirk stood up. "Thank you;" he said, holding his hand out. "Thank you very much Mr… uh… what was your name again."

"West. James West;" West answered, shaking Kirk's hand. "And this is Artemus Gordon, my partner."

"Nice to meet you;" McCoy said, shaking Gordon's hand.

"Likewise;" Gordon replied.