She was crying.

She was crying, earlier, in Cosima's bed, and she was crying there, leaning into the cushions of her couch, the lights dim around her. Tears tore across her cheeks, and she hadn't noticed. How long had she been crying? She pulled the sleeve of her sweater up to dry her eyes, and found Cosima there; the subtle scent of weed from her apartment, the conditioner in her hair, the slight touch of perfume on her skin. Everything she was wearing carried Cosima between the fibers of the fabrics. She cried harder. Then she went back to work.

Her laptop open, bottle next to her, she typed. Things were getting urgent. They wanted her to run more tests, which was getting harder to do without access to Dyad's labs. She couldn't use the university's lab space without the paranoia that Cosima might walk in on her, and she couldn't fly back to Canada to do it, not when she was supposed to be monitoring. And they wanted more samples. Which she could give. Delphine had Cosima etched into her skin, her fingerprints tracing the contours of her frame, even still, hours after. She hadn't showered yet. She could collect samples and give them to Leekie and-

Leekie. Aldous Leekie. Delphine's eyes closed like dams on tsunami tides. Dams that couldn't hold back nearly enough of the overflow.

Cosima smiled. Delphine was standing just a couple steps from the door, and they were both trying to find their footing. Cosima was moving around the room with a nervous electricity, and Delphine understood it perfectly. She felt it when she nodded, smiling at Cosima shakily. She'd said something about Dyad.

And Cosima talked with her hands as she stumbled for words, taking a couple steps towards some papers. A couple more steps, and she set them down on her desk, ten feet or so in front of her bed. Delphine followed her. She wasn't sure what else to do.

Her objective had been clear from the start. Get Cosima to open up. Get the names, by whatever means possible. She had to. Leekie had said Cosima was in danger. Leekie said-

"You know it's really really good to finally meet someone who gets it." Delphine told her without really thinking about it. The words stood in the air. Somewhere, Delphine knew what she was trying to do. She had a plan. She knew what to say next, how to move, where to put her hands.

But in the forefront of her mind stood silence. Cosima's green eyes glowed like lanterns. The fit of her top set Delphine's imagination on fire. Cosima glanced at Delphine quickly, smiling and agreeing.

"Who gets...who gets me." She'd said. Cosima said something. "Yeah. Ditto. Obvs."

Delphine closed her eyes, facing forward, tasting a terrible hybrid of truth and dishonesty in her words.

"I can't stop thinking about that kiss."

Delphine closed her laptop. She put it aside and stood up, walking into her bathroom and twisting the cold water on. She purposefully avoided looking in the mirror; she looked like shit. She knew that. The cold felt good against her skin, and she took a minute to pull herself together with its aid. There had always been curiosity. What does it feel like to love a woman?

She closed her eyes, couldn't wash off the memory of the girl on her lips. It's absolutely incredible.

"That's…oddly romantic" Cosima said, her eyes so curious, searching Delphine's for safety. Because they both knew what this was; at least, to some extent. Cosima was too intelligent not to figure it out. Delphine's research and study was her; she was the experiment. But Delphine couldn't imagine Cosima had any idea what the stakes were for her in this. For both of them. She wasn't sleeping with Aldous because he was a scientist. This wasn't for a job. This was much more than that.

"And totally encouraging." Cosima said suddenly. Delphine's hands started moving on their own, pressing her palm lightly against Cosima's face, taking in the warmth, the softness of her skin. She'd slept with people for work before. Not a lot of people, and never the person she was assigned to monitor, but other people, none the less. She had a routine for it. Take her shirt off. Heighten his lust. No emotions. Just sex appeal. This, with Cosima; this wasn't routine.

Her fingertips ran across Cosima's lips as her eyes started stuttering.

Delphine took her sweater off and tossed it over the chair in her bedroom, too drained to put it away. She slipped out of her skirt and crawled into bed, the comforter cold to the touch, but warming fast. Cosima had asked her if she'd wanted to stay. Delphine said no. She had a class in the morning, she'd said. It was morning. Her wall clock told her it was just past four.

Cosima would figure it out. She'd figure everything out. She'd never trust Delphine if she learned who's bed she'd been sent from.

But this was to protect her. To protect both of them.