I don't belong here
This is my first Bully story, so I'm a little bit excited. If you find any grammar mistakes or something like this, please tell me. Otherwise I won't become better, right? So have fun while reading this thing.
Welcome to your new home
It had taken Scarlet three days to understand what had happened to her. Unfortunately that didn't mean that she understood why everything had happened to her. She guessed, no she knew, she was in Happy Volts. She remembered the way she had gone. She remembered the warders and the doctor, that had looked at her. She still felt the strong grab from the guy in the white uniform. She had looked after it and she got bruises on her upper arm. If she could institute legal proceedings against the attendant? Injury or something like that? But the red haired girl actually knew that she lost all her rights the second she had gone through the doors. Actually she had lost her face and her name too. Nobody called her Scarlet. She had became B-4 or Fosten. At least she wasn't the only one. Every patient, every insane human with a mental issue was called by his cell number and by his second name.
That was one of the many things the redhead hated about being here. She hated as well the warders with their gray clothes, their empty eyes and their way handling the people here. She hadn't been tortured so far, but she had heard some screams and howls from the other cells. And voices, that had said: "Creep like you doesn't deserve better." or "Shut up, maniac."
She hated the food, putrid and nothing more than mush.
But the thing she hated the most was something totally different and obvious: Scarlet Fosten, a seventeen years old girl, who had moved to Bullworth five months ago, didn't belong here! She wasn't supposed to stick in this rat hole for ever. Different from the other people, she knew what was right or wrong. She didn't scream all the time or did something else scary. She complained. For what she had all right for. Within ten minutes, she actually had forgotten them, she didn't sit in her class any longer, listening to some old guy talking about history, no. She had been forced to go to this place. Without any reason! Were they allowed to do that?
But she tended herself from screaming and acting crazy. That wouldn't help her proofing that she wasn't insane. The teenager just waited. Waited for her first therapy, so she could explain herself to a normal, smart person. A therapist would probably see the difference between her and the maniacs.
Three days had pasted by since two men had brought her to Happy Volts. Nobody had talked to her since this day. Scarlet thanked God for this.
The small girl laid on the uncomfortable mattress in her room. Cell four, block B. The room was small. But she had a bed and a toilette. And, that was the most important thing, she had a window. It was bared and very small. Because of her size and the fact that the window wasn't made for looking through it, she wasn't able to see the the world around her. Fortunately she could see the time. As a maniac she wasn't allowed to have a watch – really what did they think she would do with it? Building a bomb? - so this little window was the only possibility to know at least something. Her feet bobbed restlessly. She was bored. Everyone here was bored! But the other people had the chance to go in the common room. Scarlet hadn't this pleasure. Perhaps because she was the newbie and they didn't know how dangerous she was. Not dangerous. Just bored, she thought and moaned, before heaved up. Another day went by with nothing to do, nothing to say. Maybe she should try to talk to the other prisoners. Or to the orderly.
Footsteps. Her dark green eyes slid to the massive door. The footsteps sounded near to her. Unfortunately she had thought that before and then the orderly had just talked to another patient. So she didn't want her hope to rise. Not again.
Suddenly a grumpy face appeared in front of the barked gap. Pale skin, blonde hair and annoyed looking eyes. Yeah, the perfect person to speak with. Not.
Although the warder saw that Scarlet stared at him, he knocked on the door.
"Fosten!", he barked. Her last name, again.
"My name is Scarlet", she corrected without making a move.
"Shut up, creep. Move to the middle of the room", he required harshly. After the redhead had exhaled, she did what she was told. At least something was going to happen. That was way better than spending her time in isolation and boredom.
"Don't you dare to move. If you do it anywise I will use violence to keep you down. And I will do that. It's not like I refuse punching girls."
"Good to know, bastard", Scarlet muttered and folded her arms across her chest. Hell, she wasn't a freak or a violent person. It wasn't like she would attack the man.
The door got unlocked and after a short look, probably to check if the patient had any hidden weapons or stuff like that, he ordered the newbie to turn around.
"Wait, what?", she asked confusedly and looked at the tall man, as he went crazy. That wouldn't end in a sexual thing, would it? The teen took a step backwards and shook her head, so the mess of red curls fell in her view. She wouldn't be the frigging victim of a bored attendant. That was never going to happen. The orderly touched his baton. His eyes lighted up a little bit, not in a good way, and his lips curled to a nasty grin. Something Scarlet didn't like even for a second. After another moment of wavering she raised her hands in surrender and turned on her heels.
"Good psycho", the orderly growled and grabbed roughly the thin arms of the former Bullworth Academy student. Good psycho? She would leave. Right now.
The man dragged the weaker and smaller girl out of the door and in the corridor. Six cells. Five maniacs and a normal girl. She wouldn't survive one day in the common room. Especially because of the two men that howled.
"Ey, baby girl. Wanna spend a night with me." Although Scarlet pulled a face, she ignored them. They were sick. Daddy issues and stuff like that. They weren't able to get a boner. If they thought they had to call her names, she wouldn't do anything against it. The teen didn't look one of them in the eyes. She even tried not to breath. Here in Happy Volts the air smelled differently than outside. If pain and captivity had a smell, it would surely be this. Sweat, dirt and vomit dominated the smell. With a groan Scarlet complained: "It sucks in here. Do you never clean this place?"
The answer was a hard push, so the girl stumbled and nearly fell.
"Don't be that awkward, idiot."
"Well, thanks for the warning." Some uncertain laugh came out of one of the cells, but he stopped them with a few hits against the heavy door. Whoever had laughed, stopped instantly.
Another warder opened a second door.
Actually Scarlet wanted to see the place she stuck in for three days, but her personal bodyguard had different plans with her. Whenever she moved her head a little bit to the left or to the right, he snapped and pushed her hard. Stupid goon. What do they think I'm going to do with my eyes? Set this place on fire? But she didn't say anything against it. Probably because she didn't want more trouble. More trouble than she already had. God knew for what.
After a few more minutes, they got to another place. A woman opened the door with a petite smile on her face. She looked like this typical female therapist. 40 years old, a brown trouser, a white blouse and a jacket over it. Her black hair was interspersed with white strands and her gray eyes looked straight into Scarlet's. The girl frowned.
"So, you have to be Scarlet, right?" Jeez, after all someone said her real name.
She exhaled in relieve and nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."
Although she didn't know this woman, she liked her right away. Rather she liked her more than the dumb orderly.
"Come in", the older woman invited her and stepped back.
The attendant dragged her forwards, but he was stopped by the therapist. She narrowed her eyebrows in displeasure. "Well, George. Is that the way you are supposed to touch our patients? Maybe you should talk to someone about this."
A short laugh escaped her lips, but the redhead stopped it with pressing her lips together. Yeah, bad as shit doctor said something embarrassing to this dumb ass.
The orderly muttered something under his breath and let the teen go. Scarlet showed the orderly her best fuck-you-grin and followed the doctor in the room.
The first thing she noticed was the big bared window, possibly big enough to throw a desk out of it. And that might be the reason why it was bared. To prevent the maniac from doing it. She didn't pay attention to the woman, who sat herself on a big, comfortable armchair behind a desk.
The pale teen walked straight to the window and smiled. She just smiled. She hadn't seen the world outside for three days. It was autumn, the leaves dyed orange, red and yellow and some raindrops pounded against the window. It was the most beautiful thing Scarlet had ever seen in her entire life. Okay, that wasn't a pretty long time, but damn! It was a great feeling. She looked forward to the second when she could leave this place behind. For ever. She would force her parents, so they would move out of this stupid town.
She didn't know for how long she just stood there and watched the rain fell, 'til the doctor cleared her throat and asked her to take a seat.
"To be honest, I don't want to sit down", the girl answered and gave the woman a quick look.
She lifted up an eyebrow and leaned back in her chair. "Do I may ask you why?"
The redhead rolled her green eyes and said: "Of course you can ask. I mean, you are the therapist. Your job is to ask people about their little problems and stuff like that. But I don't think that this will take too long. I won't keep you from speaking with the real maniacs." Her voice was quite normal, although she felt nervously and angry inside. Please believe me. You have to believe me!
The doctor smiled a little bit. It was the typical oh-yeah-you-think-you-know-everything-but-your-ass -is-mine-smile. Scarlet just ignored it because she liked the woman a little bit and she could forgive her the job-smile.
"But you won't do anything unhealthy?"
Anything unhealthy? Like what? Kill you with a pencil? God damn.
The small teen blinked a few times and finally shook her head. "No. I'm not going to do anything stupid. I just want to say something."
"That's the reason for therapy, Scarlet. To talk. Say what ever you want. This is a save place. No one will doom you for your feelings or thoughts", the doctor said with a calm voice.
Seriously? That might be the worst lie Scarlet had ever listen to. For fuck's sake she wasn't insane. She was a normal girl and this woman – she looked on the name tag at the desk – Dr. Holsten didn't have do talk to her like she was dumb. The girl folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyebrows.
"Well. Please save your breath. You don't have to explain all this things to me. Because I am neither a daft ..."
"I'm not calling you a daft, Scarlet."
" … nor am I downright nuts. This has to be a misunderstanding. The asylum made a mistake with my name or something like that. I am not crazy."
First Dr. Holsten seemed bewildered. Her long and thin fingers searched for a pencil and she begun to write something down. About Scarlet. Right in front of her.
What. The. Hell?
The therapist looked up and smiled. Again.
"Well. We have a reason to keep you here.
Schizophrenia can lead to memory gaps. Or disorientation. You don't remember the happening three days ago, do you?"
The student stared confusedly at the doctor, like she danced on the desk and started stripping for her. Schizophrenia? Memory gaps? She doesn't talk about what I think she does, does she?
"I am not crazy!", Scarlet repeated abashedly herself with a strange hoarse voice, that definitely didn't belong to the fragile girl. It sounded more like a question, like the redhead didn't even believe it herself.
"I guess then you remember everything?"
"Of course I do!"
"Well. Tell me about the day", the woman, who seemed to be so god damn nice, requested with a triumphal smile on her thin, colorless lips.
Screw you!, a angry voice screamed inside Scarlet's head. The newbie breathed heavily and started to think about what had happened three days ago.
I stood up. As always. God, this Mandy girl already chatted with this other girl. I looked at them, stared. Because they made me angry and sleepy. "What do you look at, moron?", Mandy snapped and lifted an eyebrow. Well. As always, right? First lesson, Art with Mrs. Galloway Philips. She wanted us to draw our neighbor. God, I should remember his name. He is a member of the football team. Ouw, ehm. Ke... Kirby? Hell, something like that.
Scarlet was lost in her thoughts, while she sat down on the chair. Her green eyes looked on nothing specifically. They just looked.
Dr. Hosten loved to watch her patient being like that. Particularly when she knew that nothing would happen; that she was right about something. The girl wouldn't remember anything.
It was such a shame. The young patient didn't seem dumb or ugly. Red curls fell down on her shoulders and her eyes had quite a nice color. Not usual. Her skin was pale and so far without any scars. Nice to look at. Maybe she was a little bit to thin. Well, she should tell orderly to have a close eye on her. She had to eat more in Happy Volts. Get a little wight.
My picture wasn't very good. First I'm a terrible drawer. I can't even draw a duck. And second because the boy didn't want to be on my picture. The teacher said something about her Art. And she praised that other guy. Hopkins! That's his name. The boy with the strange girlfriend and this king-attitude. I didn't eat something. Mainly because Edna is a terrible cooker. Really, disturbing and … unhealthy to eat her shit. So I just walked around. The bell ringed, History. With this loser Wiggings. I felt tired. Very tired. And then … then. Then the orderly had hit me on my head. One of them had. That's the only reason why … why there's nothing.
"It's … one of your warder has a problem with aggressions", Scarlet stuttered in disbelieve and rubbed her face with her hands. Mistake. This was a mistake.
Her look was upset, as she saw Holsten's fake understanding smile.
I am not a schizophrenic. No, Scarlet thought. There was no way that she could be different. Sometimes she had felt like the only sane human in this town. Next to all this dumb freaks and scary clever guys she had seemed like a total normal girl. She wasn't insane.
"I know what had happened there. Do you want me to say it?"
No. Just no. I don't want to know! Everything the redhead wanted was to cover her ears like a kid. Like the teen she was.
"We'd asked several students, that had been in your class as well. They say that you stood up all of the sudden and begun to scream and shout. To punch the guy next to you. Even the sport men weren't able to handle you. It took five men to keep you down. A girl said that the guy next to you had touched you before that. Had you ever been victim of sexual harassment? Did your father …"
"Hell no! Stop telling all these lies, okay? Just stop it. And don't you dare to say anything bad about my father. Nobody ever touched me in this way. And I don't allow you to spread these lies. Stop it, lady."
"We don't doom you, Scarlet. Please sit down again."
"No!", the girl yelled loudly and shook her head. That isn't real. Maybe I'm asleep. This has to be a dream. A nightmare. Nothing of this is real! She didn't know what to do with her body.
She pinched her fingernails into her skin, hoping that this pain would make her wake up. "I'm not crazy! Not insane! Not a little bit!" Her voice became hoarsely because of the screaming. Her neck hurt like hell. But Scarlet had to tell them the truth. "You lie! You're a liar. A fuckin' liar."
Dr. Holsten stood up. She didn't expect that behavior. The patient used to be more calm. But she could handle this as well. At least that meant that Scarlet didn't go to be the next Smith, hiding everything inside and scaring the shit out of the orderlies. She had stopped them way to often. In their fear they had wanted to hit the boy. She had to admit that the boy deserved it most of the time. Nevertheless.
"Scarlet. Can you hear me? You have to calm down."
"No! Go away. Don't touch me!"
A warder stormed in the room, a second followed him. They caught her, lifted the light and fighting like hell girl from the ground. But Scarlet didn't stop yelling. Her head felt like a bomb and she knew that she went red in her face. But that didn't bother her.
"Get her out!", the woman shouted to drown the dainty teen. With a quick nod they dragged the redhead out the room, back to Block B.
"Stop that! Let me go! I'm not crazy! Don't you dare! I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy!"
Her howls echoed against the walls of Happy Volts, pounded against her ear drum and caused a headache. She would regret this on the next day, but hell! She had to make her damn standpoint as clear as possible. She wasn't crazy. She couldn't be less. They spread lies. Terrible lies!
"You fucking morons! Don't touch me."
While one of them searched for the right key, the other one had to fight against the strength of this little girl. She developed a strange power because of her anger. I don't belong here!
"Hurry up, dude!"
"Yeah. Can't you handle a little girl?"
"What's going on outside? I actually tried to make a little nap", another unfamiliar and bored voice complained.
"Shut up!", the guy with the keys shouted one second before he opened the heavy door.
Without another word they throw the red haired girl back in her cell. She just stayed laying on the ground, listening to her own heavy breath. To her own heart beat. Maybe she had overreacted. Maybe she'd made everything worse than it had been before.
Breath in, breath out. She had to focus. She had to get calm. She had to proof them her sanity.