A/N: Hi fellow who fans. This is my first story will be a few chapters long all Doctor POV. Please review and let me know what you think/feel, also is if its a yay or nay to keep going.

Thank you, Jesh.

Chapter one:

I carry her out of my time stream. Vastra, Jenny and Strax are there waiting. I hand her too them and fall to my knees, my body relaxing after being almost torn apart. I feel everyone watching, waiting for me to do something, but I can't keep my eyes off her.

Strax is the first to speak "I will carry the boy to the TARDIS"

My lips move in attempts of a smile as I watch Strax pick up Clara and make his way out. Jenny helps me to my feet and asks if I'm ok, all I can do is nod. We all get inside and Clara is laid on the seat still unconscious.

Vastra finally gets me to look away by saying "Doctor we must leave, it is not safe."

I turn to the controls without a word sending us back to Vastra's house. I don't bother with my normal fun of leaving on the brakes, the TARDIS know I'm not in the mood and makes it as quick and smooth as possible. As we land everyone is still silent. I walk to Clara but stop near her and lean on the railing, fear stops me from getting to close. Vastra nods to Jenny who then checks out the doors to see if its safe. I hear Jenny tell her they are home, with that Vastra seems to gain control

"Strax take Clara to the med bay, Jenny help the Doctor."

I go along with it, what else could I do? my eyes never looking away from Clara's sleeping face. It's the first time in all my years I don't have words.

We get to the med bay quickly and I lean on the doorway, watching as Strax and Vastra check Clara over. Jenny brings me tea, which I take but forget instantly. I can almost feel the clock ticking, I was never good at waiting. After a while I notice Vastra looking at me, as I turn my head to her she speaks.

"Clara appears fine, we haven't been able to find anything wrong."

I open my mouth to speak, my throat won't open. Jenny brings my attention to the tea in my hands. I take a sip, returning a small part of me back to normal.

"Thank you, all of you." I say without looking away from Clara. I try to hide the sorrow from my voice as I go on. "You should go and rest and I will stay with Clara."

Jenny pipes in "But Doctor you need rest, I will st-"

"No!" I interrupt, I take a breath realising I was to harsh. "Please I just need to be with Clara"

I feel my eyes beg and I try to mask it.

Vastra clears her throat "Come Jenny, Strax. The Doctor will inform us if there is any change. " she turns to me "and we will come and check on them tomorrow" I nod and they leave.

I stand in the same spot for what feels like hours. The tea has long gone cold. All I hear is Clara's soft breathing and the TARDIS humming sweetly to us. I begin to realise I should move, so I start by putting down the cup and walking very slowly towards her, scared that if I get to close it could somehow harm her. The TARDIS makes a hurry up you daft old man kind of noise and I walk the last few steps. She looks like she's sleeping, only her eyes give away more. They show she is dreaming of all her other lives and all the deaths that go with them. Sometimes she smiles, sometimes she looks as though her heart is breaking. In theses moments I gently stoke her hair. After another hour I feel my tiredness catch up with me, I can't bare the thought of leaving her so I push one of the other beds next to hers and lay down. I see she is going though something bad and I hold her hand, she begins to calm again. I keep holding her hand, gently rubbing my thumb over the back of it. My eyes get heavy and I sleep.

I feel a nudge of my shoulder, my eyes snap open and I sit up. Clara is still out cold and Jenny is standing next to my bed. Vastra is next to Clara's bed, checking vitals.

"Doctor" Jenny says softly "Sorry to wake you but I thought you would like some breakfast." she motions down to the tray she is holding.

Eggs, bacon, toast and a cup of tea. My stomach growls in approval. Jenny smiles and I cross my legs and take the tray.

"Thank you Jenny." I say as we share a smile. "Vastra how is she?"

She checks a few more things before she replies. "Confusingly the same. nothing is wrong with her."

I nod and take a few bites, returning me to my old self.

"Her brain just needs to run through it all and then she will wake up" I sound more confident then I feel.

Vastra says Jenny will bring me my meals, I tell her there is nothing more she can do for Clara and that I will stay by her side. Vastra stands looking like she wants to say something, but nods to me and they leave.

On that first day nothing happens, I sit and stroke her hair, to scared to leave her side. That goes on for three more days. Nothing but sitting and waiting and waiting. I barely sleep and I can't leave the room, I'm too scared she will wake up when I leave or ... but I can't think like that, I won't let myself. Luckily Jenny is bringing me my food, otherwise I would have forgotten to eat. She tries to make conversation but I can't hear her. Vastra tries too, she gets a little out of me but only because she mentions Clara. Oddly enough they even sent Strax to try.

He walked in and said "I was ordered to come in and cheer you up sir." Then he patted me on the back and said "There, there" and left...

I stare after him baffled, what do you say to that? I guess he means well? and I guess it got me to look away, even for just for a moment.

The fifth day I'm angry and restless, I pace the room. I feel like a tiger in a zoo, ready to pounce. This is the greatest form of torture. Not only do I have to wait, but there is nothing I can do and it scares me that I'm not sure what's happening or what will happen. She has to wake up, doesn't she? Yes she has too, if she doesn't... No, I can't be alone again. But I don't think I could risk anyone else. Not after my Clara. I can't lose her. My hearts feel like they are breaking. My anger blinds me and I run into a piece of equipment, I knock it over and yell at it. It has been long enough, why won't she wake up! How can I just sit and wait, but no, I could never leave. I stop at the foot of her bed she and then she starts to frown again. I give out a yell of frustration.

"Doctor?" I hear softly from the door, it's Jenny with a plate of food.

I growl "Leave"

She is frozen by my tone. I step towards her.

"I said leave" I say softer but I can see in her eyes it scares her more.

She takes a step back but pushes the tray towards me. I push it to the ground

"Get out!"

She runs. Shamefully I then yell at Clara.

"What were you thinking! Why would you do something so stupid, This is such a human thing to do! human and mushy and no thought put into it at all. I have lived so long, too long and you, you just... It's wasn't worth it, I'm not worth it. You could have died! You stupid human girl. How could you just... just walk right in, like? like you knew what you were doing!" I fall to the floor tears flowing. "Please, please don't leave me Clara, my Clara" I beg.

I wake early on the sixth day, still on the floor by her bed. I'm sore and stiff but I manage to crawl into my bed. I hold her to me, kiss her forehead and close my eyes again. I wake when I hear a knock on the door. I sit up to get the door and think better off it.

"come in"

It's Vastra with Jenny behind looking down at the ground. I remember what happened

"Oh Jenny"

she looks up at me shyly.

"Jenny, I'm sorry."

what else could I say? she nods but still stays a bit back.

Vastra gets my attention "Now Doctor, it is about time you got out of here."

I open my mouth to protest but she keeps going.

"Doctor I think you might need to freshen up a bit and I could use the time to look Clara over"

I look down at Clara how can I leave her? though now that I think about it, when was the last time I had a shower? Vastra sees I'm still uneasy.

"Doctor, I promise not to leave her side and I will have Jenny fetch you if there is any change."

She is right. I sigh and kiss her hand gently. I slowly walk to the door and see my bedroom door on the other side of the hallway, at least the old girl knows I don't want to waste time today. I glance back at Clara before I go.

The shower works wonders. My shoulders relax and the tightness of my chest lightens. She will be fine. I clean my hair and my body as quickly as I can and hop out to find not my tweed suit but a comfy pair of pants and a shirt. Thank you old girl, She hums at me happily. I dress and walk out of my room. The med bay is still across from me but next to that is now the library. I smile and pat a wall in thanks. I walk in find a book put on a table right in front and walk back to the med bay.

"Any change?"

Vastra shakes her head and they go to leave.

"Uh Jenny?"

She stops at the door and looks back and smiles "Doctor I understand".

I climb up onto my bed next to Clara and look at the book in my hands. Princess Bride. I smile to myself, of course. "Now Clara, this is a special book. With fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love and miracles" as I look down at her I can feel my eyes are welling with hope.

"Her favourite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Westley, but she never called him that."

my free hand strokes her hair.

"Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around. 'farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.' 'As you wish.' As you wish was all he ever said to her. 'Farm boy, fill these with water, please.' 'As you wish' That day she was amazed to discover that when he was saying as you wish, what he meant was, 'I love you'"

ah I think I'm becoming a bit of a softy in my old age. I read to her all day until I fall asleep.

Day seven, its been a whole week. I wake and tuck the hair behind her ears. Oh Clara I hate that I've put you though this. I wish there was something I could do, I promise when you wake I'll do anything, whatever you need it's yours. I sigh and look up at the ceiling, then I just talk, what else is there left to do. I spend the day talking. A few things important, most of it not. I talk about all my companions and the families I've had and lost. I talk about all the beautiful places I've been, different customs and rituals I've witnessed. Its late evening when I realised I haven't spoken of the most important thing.

"Clara" I start with a whisper not sure how to go on.

I roll over and face her, holding her hand between mine.

"My impossible girl."

I sigh and shift a bit closer.

"Clara, you have to wake up now."

I blink back the tears that are threatening to fall.

"Clara you have done so much for me, but I just need you to do one more thing, wake up Clara."

I wait for any kind of response. Nothing, I get nothing. I lay next to her and silently let my tears fall.

I'm dreaming, I'm sure of it. It's black and quiet. I start walking and then hear a whisper calling me. I need to get there, I run. I'm running though a graveyard, no not a graveyard, it's Trenzalore. But it's never ending, the whisper is everywhere. I turn around franticly not sure where to go, then I see the bigger on the outside TARDIS. Clara! I have to save her, somehow I'm already there. I see a cliff and Clara is there standing on the edge, I'm next to her.

"Clara I need you to come back now."

she is silent, I go on

"Oh Clara I need to tell you so much, please come back to me."

she turns to face me and the jumps backwards of the Cliff. I try to jump after but I can't, there is something holding me back.

"CLARA!"

I see her falling and she mouths my name before she falls into the darkness.

"I couldn't save you Clara. I'm sorry."

The darkness surrounds me and I feel myself being ripped apart again. I fall to me knees and then hear a noise, something willing me to wake. No I have to save her. I saw her falling. I can't get to her. Something is trying to wake me. I hear the TARDIS calling me. Clara! My eyes fly open.

Clara's lips are moving, whispering "Doctor"

"Clara I'm here, please open your eyes!"

Her head tilts towards me and she is asleep again. She's getting better, Clara's getting better! I clasp my hands on her head and gently kiss her forehead.

"Oh Clara, you are wonderful" I say against her skin.