A/N: I've had this idea for a while, and I've been holding off. Well, it's about time I just do it, I think. This is written in response to the 'Disney Song' Challenge presented by yours truly at The Reviews Lounge, Too. Basically, every chapter will be inspired by a Disney song. I thought that'd be fun, so I hope you think so too.
This will be a series of one-shots. We'll start with season one, and it may get into season two. Some stories might get into AU territory, but I don't think you'll mind. This is sort of an unplanned project, and we'll just see where it goes.
Please know that updates will be slow. These will be written as I have time, and that means in between my other projects and real life. Sorry.
This first story is set early in season one. The rest should be easy to figure out. And just in case you're not familiar with the song, it's I Won't Say I'm In Love from Walt Disney's Hercules.
Disclaimer: SeaQuest DSV and its characters are not my creation. They are the creation of Rockne S. O'Bannon as a 1990's television series. This work of fanfiction is for entertainment purposes only and is not for financial gain. I am just borrowing the characters for a bit and promise to return them unharmed and in their original condition, maybe just a bit happier.
I Won't Say I'm In Love
Doctor Kristin Westphalen awoke to find someone slipping a white envelope under her door. With her curiosity piqued, she immediately pushed herself out of bed and opened it to find an invitation inside:
It's an icebreaker party on Bridger Island! All senior staff must attend this weekend. Food and drink will be plentiful! Details will be discussed at the morning staff meeting. Please, don't be late.
Her brow furrowed in question. An icebreaker party? Well, it wasn't a horrible idea exactly. They'd only been on tour for a little over a month, and while she found that the military personnel weren't the heathens she initially pegged them to be, she didn't spend a great deal of time with them outside of work situations.
Then again, however, she supposed that was the point. There was still a bit of tension among the senior staff, and the captain wanted to alleviate that. What better way than this? She had to hand it to him that it certainly was creative, but it was also something she doubted other military-types would do. Then again, Nathan wasn't like the other military-types she'd encountered before.
She wondered how the rest of the staff might react to this mandatory weekend for a few moments and then decided she ought to hurry and get ready for the meeting in case Nathan needed a hand in calming the potentially unruly group.
-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-
When she entered the ward room, however, she found the others to be just as curious as she. Seeing that Nathan wasn't there yet, she took her usual seat and glanced towards the others, who were already discussing the party.
Katie glanced in her direction. "You don't know anything about it either, do you?"
She shook her head. "I got the same invitation the rest of you did. That's all I know. How do you all feel about this?"
"It might not be so bad," Ben said with a shrug.
"I think it's be fun," Lucas added. "Don't you?"
She shifted nervously as all eyes looked to her. "Of course. I just didn't expect all of you to be on board with it is all, especially you, Commander," she said to Jonathan. "I definitely thought you might protest about being forced to spend the weekend with any of the science personnel."
"And that is exactly the attitude I'm trying curb," she heard Nathan's voice say from behind her. "That's the point of this weekend's get-together."
Everyone spun around to look at him.
"I am sorry for singling you out, Doctor," he said, moving to stand in the front of the room, "but while I know we've managed to get through missions by working together, it's apparent that there isn't much unity among us outside of work."
Kristin felt a rush of heat to her cheeks, knowing she must be as red as a beet, and she lowered her gaze to the floor, hoping no one noticed her obvious embarrassment. She jumped slightly when she felt Nathan's hand on her shoulder.
"I've asked myself time and time again what happens with us outside of work?" he asked.
Kristin's brow furrowed. "I'm not sure I understand."
"When you're off-duty?" Nathan offered.
"I think he means who we hang out with," Lucas said.
Nathan snapped his fingers. "Bingo!" He motioned towards Kristin and Lucas. "Because outside of missions and staff meetings, how much time do you really spend with the doctor? Or with Lucas? Or with any member of the science team, for that matter?"
The others shrugged quietly.
"In other words, military staff don't spend time with the science personnel outside of work and vice versa. And there's even division among those groups as well. None of you spend much time with the junior staff." He sighed. "I wish I could have the entire crew participate, but I can't exactly accommodate more than two hundred people on my island. However, the senior staff is expected to set an example for the rest of the crew, and the brass wants the junior staff to become more familiarized with the bridge duties in the event that all of us would be away on a mission. So I saw this as our golden opportunity, so to speak. And while I know I said it's mandatory, I hope you're all on board."
Lucas sat up straight in his chair. "I think it sounds like a blast."
The others nodded in agreement to which Nathan gave a smile.
"Wonderful. Are there any questions?"
Katie raised her hand. "What time will we leave?"
"I was just getting to that, unless anyone else has a question?"
No one else uttered a word.
"I figured we'll leave tomorrow at 1700 hours. Pack for a casual weekend, and have a good day, people."
As everyone began to file out of the room, Kristin lagged behind, meaning to apologize about her earlier assumption about the commander when Nathan approached her first.
"I hope you're not upset with me. I just happened to walk in the room at that moment, and it fit in with my plan."
She shook her head. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. You're absolutely right; every member of the senior staff should be setting an example, and I wasn't doing a very good job of that."
A brow rose. "You're much too hard on yourself, Doctor. Perhaps I failed to mention it, but you have been doing a fabulous job. I also don't expect perfection. You're allowed to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. Besides, after this weekend, I'm hoping everyone will have a better understanding of one another."
"Indeed," she replied, casting a glance at the clock. "I'm sorry, but I really should be heading to the lab."
"Of course; I'm sure I'll see you later."
"Later," she called as she bolted through the door.
-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-
By the end of the day, Kristin had managed to regain her composure, mainly because of the fact she'd made a point to avoid the captain. The very truth of the matter was that Captain Bridger was very different from any other military person she'd met before, and she was beginning to grow very fond of him...so much so that when she'd made that comment to the commander, she'd felt as though she'd disappointed him.
Why did it matter to her now, though? She'd never been so worried about how anyone viewed her before. She was tough as nails...or at least that's how everyone viewed her, and she couldn't say she didn't like that reputation. She'd heard the rumors; most were a compliment. Some weren't, but that came with the territory, and she'd never went to any lengths to try to make sure others knew the truth.
She grabbed a sandwich for dinner in the galley before retreating to her quarters for the evening. After eating, she found herself heaving a sigh as she began packing for the weekend. Was anyone else as nervous as she was? she wondered. While she agreed this weekend would help the senior staff gain and understanding of one another, she couldn't help but feel uneasy about it, though she couldn't tell why. Was she really worried about revealing her true self to the others, revealing her true self to the captain? Was she really so-
A knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts, and she moved to open it. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw it was the captain.
"Hello," he said. "I was just coming to see if you were all right."
Her voice caught slightly in her throat. "All...all right?"
"It's just I haven't seen you since this morning, and when I didn't see you at dinner, I... Is it all right if I come in?"
She blushed slightly before stepping aside so he could pass. "Of course. I am sorry." She motioned towards the open bag on her bunk. "I decided to eat in my room so I could pack is all. I didn't mean to worry you."
He gave her a soft smile. "You didn't worry me exactly. I was just...being considerate."
She nodded quietly. "I do appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. Really."
"I'm glad to hear it."
An awkward moment of quiet fell around them, and neither seemed to know what to say next. Kristin finally lowered her gaze to the floor. "Um, perhaps..."
"You are okay with this get-together, aren't you?" he finally asked.
Her mouth fell open slightly. "Of...of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You just seem a bit different since you heard about it," he pointed out. "I'm sure you and the commander will come to an understanding, if that's what you're worried about. I know you two aren't exactly the best of friends yet, but you'll get there."
She shook her head. "That isn't..." She then thought better of it, not feeling ready to tell him she didn't really know the real reason she was apprehensive. After a pause, she gave a nod. "You're right. I am a bit nervous about it. It's just spending the entire weekend with the rest of you lot." She held up a hand. "And please, don't think I mean anything bad about that, but I am in the minority, seeing as Lucas and I are the only science personnel who'll be there. It's a little overwhelming is all."
He put an arm around her shoulders. "I can't say I don't understand your concerns, but I promise nothing bad will happen. This is meant to be a positive experience, not a painful one. I hope that reassures you."
A small smile tugged at her lips. Even if nether of them knew the real reason she was worried, his sincere words did help her feel better. "It does, thank you."
"I'm glad. Well, I'm sorry to have bothered you, but I didn't feel right going to bed without knowing for sure."
"It's perfectly all right. It was sweet of you to stop by. Goodnight, Captain."
"Sleep well, Doctor, and I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow," she said as he left the room. Letting out another sigh, she muttered, "Definitely different. Why is that such a bad thing, I wonder?" She really couldn't give herself an answer, so she resorted to finishing her packing and then going to sleep.
-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-
The next day seemed to fly by, and before she knew it, Kristin found herself in launch bay with the rest of the senior staff, ready for their fun-filled, icebreaker weekend. As they boarded the launch, Kristin couldn't help but notice that the general attitude among the group seemed jovial. Not an unkind word was uttered, and Commander Ford even helped her with her bag. Perhaps she'd been wrong to even think this could go any way but well after all.
-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-
Though she wasn't sure what she was expecting, the island wasn't as she had imagined. It was better, actually. Oh, the island itself was like any others she'd seen with a sandy beach, trees, and rocks. It was the typical island landscape, but the house was much larger than she'd guessed. To her surprise, however, it had four upstairs bedrooms, seemingly for guests, and had been kept up fairly well.
After Nathan gave everyone a quick tour of the house, he said, "Since our ladies are in the minority, you two will have the first bedroom on the right at the top of the stairs. My room is right across the hall if you need anything."
As Kristin and Katie went upstairs to put their bags away and freshen up, Nathan turned to the men. "There are two other bedrooms upstairs, and then there's a pullout couch in the living room. I hope there's no fighting, but you're going to have to decide who sleeps where."
The men quickly decided, and then everyone convened in the living room once again.
"Since it's rather late, I wasn't planning on anything too exerting," Nathan said. He nodded towards Ben. "Would you mind helping me, Mr. Krieg?"
Ben obediently stood, and the two left the room. Kristin watched in curiosity as they finally returned with a box of cards and chips and a poker table top.
"We're going to play poker?" Lucas said.
"Yes, but there will be a twist."
Nathan and Ben brought out enough chairs for everyone and set them around the table. Nathan then motioned for everyone to have a seat. "I know we all know how to play, but we won't be playing for money. You'll be playing for information."
"Information?" Kristin echoed.
Nathan nodded. "Instead of starting with a thousand dollars worth of chips, everyone will get five hundred. But the kicker is that you'll want to bid wisely because the stakes are high. Once your chips are gone, you'll have to bid with information. When you've found you can't match a player's bid because you're out of chips, that player, in turn, can ask you anything, and you'll have to answer as truthfully and honestly as you can. It's a way for us to get to know one another better. Of course, some things are off-limits, and I don't think I'll need to explain what that is, do I?" He eyed Ben specifically.
Ben held up his hands innocently. "I didn't say anything, did I?" He shrugged. "I'll be good, I promise."
"Good. And there are plenty of soft drinks in the fridge and plenty of snacks in the pantry. Don't be shy. Help yourselves if you'd like."
A few took him up on that and made their way to the kitchen to get some refreshments as Nathan dealt the cards and the game quickly got under way.
Kristin hadn't been playing poker all that long; since the incident with Rubin Zellar, Nathan had given her a few lessons in the game, but she wouldn't say she was a pro just yet. Therefore, she was very careful in her bidding. The others, she noticed, weren't as careful, and she couldn't help but smile when she noticed that Ben couldn't match her bid because he was out of chips. "Oh, dear," she muttered in amusement. "Whatever will you do?"
"I've a feeling this won't be very painless," he replied.
"Oh, come now, Mr. Krieg; I'm not going to be that evil."
He sighed. "Fine. Let's just get this over with."
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," she said, glancing towards Nathan. "Are we allowed to collaborate with the other players before deciding what to ask? It's just that I'm sure Katie could give me some wonderful ideas."
Nathan laughed softly. "While I'd love to tell you yes, I think the question needs to come from you. Don't worry if you have more than one. Just save that for next time."
She nodded and thought a bit longer. "Okay, I'm ready," she finally said. "What is the most honest thing you've ever done?"
"Honest? Doc, I think you've got the wrong guy," Katie muttered.
"That's exactly why I asked him," she explained. She looked at Ben expectantly. "Surely, you don't think about scamming people all the time."
"Of course not," he said. "And I suppose the most honest thing I've done... Well, that was marrying Katie; she kept me honest enough while we were together."
Katie nodded. "That's very true. It's just too bad it didn't last."
He held up his left hand. "Hey, no ring on this finger anymore, baby. I can be a little bad if I want to now."
"Just don't forget you still need to answer to me," Nathan reminded him with a laugh. He turned to Kristin. "Do you accept that bit of information?"
She nodded. "I suppose so. It was impressive enough."
Ben flashed her a grin. "You just wait until it's your turn."
She motioned to the stack of chips in front of her and stuck out her tongue. "I don't think I have anything to worry about."
-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-
Unfortunately, though, Kristin learned she might have spoken too soon. She'd been having so much fun placing bets just to be able to put the others in the hot seat that she'd forgot to pay attention to her dwindling chips, especially since she had yet to win a hand. She couldn't help but feel a slight shiver of worry come to her when Ben eyed her carefully. "I see the captain's six, and I'll raise him six more. Oh, gee, Doc; you only have four chips left. What does that mean?" He waggled his eyebrows at her.
"Yes, yes, I know what it means," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest and giving him a look. "Do your worst. I can take it."
"My worst, huh?" Ben grinned as he thought. "Well, there is one thing I've always wanted to know about you."
"Yes?"
He glanced around at the others. "And I know I'm not the only one. There've been an awful lot of rumors flying around the boat about you."
Her heart sank slightly, her intuition telling her she knew exactly what he was about to ask. She did her best not to let it show, however. Instead she turned to Nathan. "If I'm going to be sharing intimate details about my life, I might need something a bit stronger than this." She motioned to the can of cola in front of her.
He smiled. "I suppose since we're off-duty, that wouldn't be a horrible idea." He walked to the kitchen and brought out a bottle of rum and some shot glasses. "Some bottled courage, so to speak." He glanced to Lucas. "And since it's a special occasion, you can have one too if you'd like."
"Really?" he squeaked out. "What exactly does rum taste like?"
"It's not really about the taste," he told him, passing the glasses around and pouring an equal amount in each one. "It's more about taking the edge off."
After everyone had a drink, Nathan raised his glass up and invited the others to do the same. "To friends," he said.
"To friends," everyone echoed before indulging in their drink.
Lucas, however, coughed and nearly spit it out across the room. "Ugh, this stuff is horrible! Why do people like to drink it?"
Everyone laughed as Nathan patted him on the shoulder. "It's probably more of an acquired taste, kiddo. Guess I don't have to worry about you doing any underage drinking then."
He shook his head. "I don't even know if I'll want to touch when I'm of age," he muttered, making a bee-line for the fridge and downing a soda to get the taste out of his mouth.
After everyone had finished their shots, Ben looked at the doctor. "Are you ready yet?"
She nodded. "Get on with it, Ben."
"Just how many times have you been married?" he asked. "I'm sure you've heard some people say at least five."
"Is it up to that many now? My reputation is expanding," she replied with a soft smile, a bit more relaxed now. "I think you'll all be surprised to know I've only been married once."
"Once?" Ben repeated. "But you've heard the rumors yourself, haven't you? You never said anything to contradict it."
"Yes, I've heard them, and you're right. I really don't know how the rumors started, but when people started to say I ate men for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I just..." She shrugged. "Well, that's about the time the tour started, and with the tension Commander Ford and I had at first, I guess I thought it might help so I wouldn't be bullied."
"And you never married again?" Lucas asked quietly.
She shook her head. "What's the adage? Married once and cured forever? Well, that's me." She looked across the table. "That should satisfy your bid, yes?"
Ben, however, shook his head. "Cured forever, you say? I think I speak for the rest of us when I say spill it."
Kristin's brow furrowed in question as she glanced toward Nathan.
"I'm afraid the bid holder makes the rules, but you can certainly fold if you feel it's too personal."
She thought for a brief moment, and while she considered sitting out the rest of the game, she knew full well that everyone was on the edge of their seats. Not only that, she guessed it was inevitable that they'd badger her for more in the near future. She took a deep breath. "Very well, I suppose this is the point of no return. You want to know everything? Fine. I was married to one man for fifteen years. We had one daughter, whom we both love dearly. Unfortunately, my daughter's father didn't love me enough to stay faithful. Apparently, the affairs started years before I found out, but I was too blind to see it."
"Affairs?" Jonathan said. "He did it more than once?"
Kristin nodded quietly.
Katie placed a hand on her shoulder. "I...I am so sorry."
Kristin gave a nod and suddenly felt tears creep up, but she did her best to swallow them back. "I was the last to know. When our friends suddenly stopped speaking to me, I'd thought it was something I'd done. I didn't know the reason they couldn't talk to me was because they didn't know how to break it to me. I suppose you can understand why it's difficult for me to trust people; I'm always worried they have a hidden agenda." She shrugged. "I'd spent years trying to shed the victim persona so when the rumors started, I suppose that's why I never said anything. I rather liked the idea of people being intimidated around me. I didn't have to worry about anyone wanting to get too close to me, and I didn't want to risk being taken advantage of again."
"Who was he?"
Nathan's soft voice cut through the quiet, surprising her. She turned to look at him with a raised brow. "Senator Charles Nelson."
Everyone gasped, knowing the name.
"You were married to the senator of Hawaii?" Lucas said in shock. "The one who ran in the last presidential election? My father voted for him."
"Yes, well, he's a very good politician, just not a very good husband," she replied. "When we began divorce proceedings, the tabloids had a field day, dragging my name through the mud. They'd made up some lies, saying it was all my fault...and I never asked for a retraction. I didn't really see the point." She felt the tears creep up again and though she tried to swallow them back, it was useless. "So when everyone here thought I was something I wasn't... I guess it was somewhat...nice having a different reputation." With tears threatening to stream down her cheeks, she glanced towards Ben. "I...I do hope that's enough for you now because I...I need some air. Excuse me."
-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-
She half-expected someone to follow her and drag her back inside, but they had the courtesy to give her her space. She made her way down to the beach and sat down on the still-warm sand, sobbing quietly. The amount of emotions that coursed through her body surprised her. She hadn't been upset over her divorce in years, and she was no longer in love with her ex-husband, so where was all this coming from?
A tiny voice from inside her heart then reminded her how long she'd been stuck in survive mode, and everything was finally coming to a head. That was understandable. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd really been open and honest with people. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she'd been honest with herself. She hadn't a reason to...until now.
And there's that other thing, the tiny voice insisted.
Her breath caught in her throat as she realized what it had meant. Since her divorce, she'd had relationships. She was human, of course, and no one wanted to be alone, including her. But the relationships never lasted; they were never true love. She hadn't dated anyone in a while; the thought never even crossed her mind. She'd nearly sworn off the possibility of finding anyone...until she'd met the captain.
She shook her head. "I can't," she said through her tears. "I can't have feelings for anyone, especially him."
Why not? that voice asked. You said it yourself earlier: you've grown very fond of him.
"Fondness isn't love," she muttered. That was true, wasn't it? Love? She wasn't sure if she even remembered what it was like. She thought for a moment. She supposed it was having someone worry about her well-being, wanting to be sure she was all right when even the tiniest upset occurred. It would have to be someone who she had a bond with, someone who she could share anything with, someone who'd be committed to her and her alone.
Isn't that Nathan? the voice asked after a moment.
"No, of course not!" She couldn't be in love with him, could she? He was still in mourning over his wife for goodness sake! How could she possibly think of him in any way but a friend? "I can't confuse kindness with love."
After several quiet moments, the voice said, Very well. Whatever you say. I'll leave you be.
Thank goodness! At least the tears had subsided now, but she was still too humiliated to step foot back inside. Hopefully, they'd be going to bed soon. Then she could slip back inside and go to sleep...and just try to forget about everything.
-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-
She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she knew it was later. The night sky had changed to an even darker shade of blue, so she decided to turn around and see if the lights in the house were off yet.
As she stood, however, she heard the unmistakable noise of the door shutting. She stopped short, closing her eyes tightly. Whoever it was must have decided she was out there too long and was going to try to convince her to come back inside. And really, she couldn't blame him or her. She was going to have to face the music sooner or later.
She waited patiently for a few minutes, but when she didn't hear anything more, she finally opened her eyes and turned around to see no one there. Her brow furrowed. Maybe she'd just imagined it. She then noticed the living room light was now off. The only light that was still on was that of the kitchen. They must have left it on for her, she decided.
At least she could go inside now and go to bed. As she approached the back door, however, she noticed a coffee mug sitting on the back porch table. Her eyebrows knitted together. Had that been there before? She'd been too upset to notice, but she couldn't help but peek inside to find it only had a small bit of liquid left in it. She felt the sides of the cup; it was still warm. She then surmised someone had been keeping watch on her.
Who knows for how long, but she had a sinking suspicion who it was. She took a deep breath and quietly opened the door. Upon reentering the kitchen, she found Nathan putting a teapot on the stove.
He smiled softly when he saw her in the doorway. "Glad to see you decided to come back inside."
She took a few cautious steps toward him. "How long were you out there?"
He shrugged. "I didn't really keep track. We didn't play the game much longer after you left. We sat around talking for a little while and then everyone decided to go to bed. We knew you needed your space and wanted to respect that. But I didn't feel right going to sleep knowing you were still outside. I wanted to make sure you were all right." He motioned to the teapot. "I thought I'd make you a cup of tea. As soon as I'm finished, I'll leave you be," he promised.
"That's very kind of you," she said. "But you really don't..." She took a shaky breath. "You didn't need to do that. After I ruined everything, you don't need to force yourself to be so kind to me."
A brow rose. "Is that what you think? That I'm forcing myself?"
"Isn't it true, though?" She moved to sit at the table. "The rules of the game were to share or fold. I said I could take it...and the truth was, I couldn't. This was supposed to fun, and I ruined everyone's good time. I wouldn't suppose any of you are too happy with me right now."
As the teapot whistled, Nathan didn't offer an immediate reply. Instead she heard the sounds of him getting the tea ready. "You're highly mistaken," was all he said as he set a cup in front of her. "Milk, honey, and a dash of cinnamon, just how you like it."
She couldn't help but smile at him. "How did you know how I like my tea? I never told anyone."
"No, but I paid attention. I pay attention to a lot of things, you know." He paused for a moment, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "And I know you wanted to be alone, but if you need to talk, I'm here for that too."
She shook her head. "I'm not sure I can just yet."
"I understand," he replied, inching towards the doorway leading upstairs. "Goodnight then."
As she watched him start to leave, that tiny voice screamed in her head, What are you doing? Don't let him go!
"Wait a minute!" The forcefulness in her voice caught her and Nathan both off guard as he turned back to her. "Sorry," she said, lowering her voice back to a normal tone. "I mean, would you mind staying? Please?"
He smiled at her. "I wouldn't mind at all." He crossed back to the stove and poured himself a cup of tea as well. "Why don't we go somewhere a bit more private, though? That way, we won't disturb the others," he explained, nodding his head towards the living room.
She nodded and he led her to the hallway on the other side of the living room. "The den is a bit cozier anyway," he explained, opening the door and allowing her to go in before him.
Inside the den was a comfortable-looking overstuffed brown leather chair and matching sofa with a fireplace in the corner. The walls were graced with a nautical theme, and it brought a smile to her face when she noticed a large photo of Darwin hung above the mantle.
"You like that, do you?" Nathan asked, closing the door behind him. "That was taken the day we found him."
"We?" she asked.
"Carol and I," he explained. He then motioned to the sofa. "You can have a seat, you know."
She nodded and obliged as he sat next to her.
"Now why is it you think everyone is upset with you?" he asked.
"As I said, I ruined everything. Now I'm sure the rest of the weekend will be awkward as hell. If you think it would be best, I'll gladly go back to seaQuest so the rest of you can have a good time without me."
"Damn it, Kristin!"
She jumped slightly at his outburst.
"I'm sorry for yelling, but would you listen to yourself? No one is angry with you at all, so get that idea out of your head, okay? You have nothing to be ashamed of. With this weekend, yes, I wanted all of us to get to know one another, but didn't you think I also knew we'd learn about ourselves as well? Maybe it came in a way you weren't expecting, but I think what happened was a good thing...don't you?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe..." She sighed. "I'd spent so long trying to make sure I didn't get hurt that I lost myself in the process. It finally caught up with me."
He nodded. "But at least now you know you don't need to be on the defensive all the time...at least not with us. Even Commander Ford was worried about you. We care about you, Kristin. We've all been brought together for this project, and now we have to work together. In order to do that, we need to care for one another, no matter if we're military or civilian. There are no sides. We all have the same goal."
"I'm only sorry I didn't come inside when everyone was still awake. I think I owe them all an apology...and not because I think they're angry, but because I judged them all too soon...even you."
He waved a hand. "I think everyone understands why you did what you did, but now that you know you don't have to, I hope you drop that ice-queen persona. You weren't very good at it anyway."
She raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"You might have fooled some of the crew, but although I'd heard the rumors myself and even seen you in action...like when you were busy giving Commander Ford a piece of your mind... Well, I quickly learned that isn't you. You're much too caring, both as a doctor and as a person, to have such a reputation. An ice-queen, you're not."
Tears sprung to her eyes once again, and she quickly wiped them away. "I'm not used to a man being so considerate of me and my feelings."
"Well, maybe it's about time you do," he replied. "You certainly deserve it."
She blushed. "I've never met anyone quite like you, Nathan Bridger."
"And is that a good thing?"
"The jury's still deliberating," she said with a smile, "but I think so."
"Good. And maybe by the end of the tour, the jury will finally come to a decision."
"Oh, I don't think it will take quite that long," she assured him. "The jury just likes to be...cautious."
"As it should be, Doctor; as it should be," he replied before taking another sip of his tea.
-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-
After they'd finished their tea, Kristin stifled a yawn. "Excuse me," she muttered sheepishly.
"It is getting late," he pointed out. "Perhaps we should get some sleep...unless you'd still like to talk?"
She shook her head. "You've helped tremendously, though. I really don't know how to thank you."
"Just be yourself; that's thanks enough."
They brought their dishes to the kitchen and then ascended the stairs, making a point to be quiet so as not to disturb the others. They stopped in front of the door leading to the room where Kristin was staying.
"I do hope you sleep well," he told her. "And if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm right across the hall."
"Thank you; I promise I will."
He placed a chaste kiss to her forehead. "And someday, I do hope you find that you'll be able to love again because you deserve to be happy. Goodnight, Kristin."
"Goodnight," she replied, turning to go into her room. After closing the door behind her, she let out a sigh. At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love.